Here's another one I don't understand:
Britain's 'cheapest' lunchtime meal was unveiled by scientists on Wednesday - the toast sandwich.
The Royal Society of Chemistry (RSC) is reviving the mid-Victorian dish, which, unsurprisingly, consists of two slices of bread around a slice of toast.
[...]
The RSC's Dr John Emsley said: "You simply put a piece of dry toast between two slices of bread and butter, with salt and pepper to taste. I've tried it and it's surprisingly nice to eat and quite filling.
"I would emphasise that toast sandwiches are also good at saving you calories as well as money, provided you only have one toast sandwich for lunch and nothing else."
What. The. Smurf.
This is wrong on so many levels. Why does it take scientists to announce/discover that you can eat toasted bread in between non-toasted bread to save some money? Who is funding this "scientific research"? Maybe if they didn't fund this kind of useless science they could afford to eat more than a toast sandwich for lunch. . .
The society is so confident in the repast, it will offer £200 to anyone who can create a cheaper alternative.
OH OH OH~! I have it~! I want that £200~!
The Suibbal Sucker~!
What is it? Well, you eat your finger! It costs you nothing! Zero! Just stick your finger in your mouth, like a sucker, and start chewing. Kind of half suicide, and half cannibal. Suibbal!
Now, this is a bit of a problem for quadriplegics and people with no arms or hands or fingers, but they aren't left out! They can have... wait for it...
The Lipibbal Sandwich~!
What is it? Well, you eat your lips! It costs you nothing! Zero! Just stick your lips between your teeth like a sandwich, and start chewing. Kind of half lip (top or bottom according to taste), and half cannibal. Lipibbal!
Man... These guys should hire me!
Ahem...
Let them eat cake.