Here come the airport rectal exams! (NSFW)

[zridling]

Why I don't fly:
http://www.boingboin...come-the-airpor.html



Uh-oh. Now that a terrorist has tried unsuccessfully to blow up a Saudi prince with a bomb shoved up his ass, the TSA is obliged to perform rectal exams on every flier for the rest of time. After all, once a jihadi failed to blow up a plane with his shoe, we all needed to start taking our shoes off. Then some knuckleheads believed they could blow up a plane with energy beverages and hair gel, so now we have to limit ourselves to 100ml of all liquids and gels, unless they're for babies or are prescription (because no mass-murderer would be so evil as to forge a doctor's note, which, as every junkie knows, cannot possibly be forged).

Now we found someone who was made to believe he could kill people with an asshole bomb, and so it follows that the TSA will have to ban -- or at least inspect -- our assholes. They're like opinions, you know, everybody's got one. Except, of course, most of us got to keep our assholes to ourselves.

Not anymore.

..........................
Oy vey.

[Stoic Joker]

Lewis Page, an "improvised-device disposal operator tasked in support of the UK mainland police from 2001-2004," pointed out that this isn't much of a threat for three reasons: 1) you can't stuff a lot of explosives into a body cavity, 2) detonation is, um, problematic, and 3) the human body can stifle an explosion pretty effectively (think of someone throwing himself on a grenade to save his friends).

ROFL


but seriously, when you're dealing with someone that has no specific target & no use for an exit stratigy, I don't think there really is a right way to defend against that kind of attack. Frankly I wonder why the high population choke point that is Airport Security isn't a more likely target.

[40hz]

This might be a blessing in disguise if we think outside the box.

Consider how going to the airport could save men over 50 the cost of an annual physical provided we could get the TSA to toss in an eye test and some blood work to go along with that rectal exam...

In an era of rapidly rising health costs it's always prudent to seek out synergies and encourage government agencies to provide more for less!

 

[app103]

So this is phase 1 of the government's universal healthcare plan? 

[f0dder]

So this is phase 1 of the government's universal healthcare plan? 

-app103 (September 29, 2009, 03:48 PM)

[MilesAhead]

Seems like we could use a guard at the entrance to Congress with a vernier. I've heard the biggest A**holes in the country end up there.

[cranioscopical]

Bummer! 

[Stoic Joker]

This might be a blessing in disguise if we think outside the box.

Consider how going to the airport could save men over 50 the cost of an annual physical provided we could get the TSA to toss in an eye test and some blood work to go along with that rectal exam...

In an era of rapidly rising health costs it's always prudent to seek out synergies and encourage government agencies to provide more for less!

 

-40hz (September 29, 2009, 02:48 PM)

Hm... Compare (4 hour) Dr. office lobby wait with (2 hour) trip through airport security...

 - Plane Ticket is about the same price... -

My god man, you've done it! - Alert the President that we've found the answer.

[Ehtyar]

Oh god...the puns...too much...love it...

Ehtyar.

[MilesAhead]

Bummer! 

-cranioscopical (September 29, 2009, 05:54 PM)

Oh well, that's the end of my ldr assignations!! Way too much of a pita!!   

[zridling]

This might be a blessing in disguise if we think outside the box. Consider how going to the airport could save men over 50 the cost of an annual physical provided we could get the TSA to toss in an eye test and some blood work to go along with that rectal exam....

-40hz (September 29, 2009, 02:48 PM)

  That's what I did all day yesterday, is laugh at how many ways this could be funny. Lines from the TSA line:

— See anything?
— Damnit, I forgot my lube!
— [To TSA agent]: Wow, you're good. Got a cigarette?
— NOOOOoooo! DON'T PULL HIS FINGER!!
— That's not a bomb, that's from last night's office party.
— [To a rough TSA agent]: Hey man, you don't have to be an asshole about it!

Finally, there's only so many reactions you can have while watching them skewer Grandpa:

[40hz]

[MilesAhead]

Now if they just find a few packets of cocaine they're so happy you weren't trying to blow them up that they give you your stuff back, and move you up to First Class.