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Is Cybersex Cheating?

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This article isn't particularly insightfull, but raises some interesting questions..

By Regina Lynn| 02:00 AM Sep, 01, 2006
Two weeks ago, I was on stage with four other folks at the Second Life Community Convention, talking about cybersex. The agenda had slipped its schedule and we were running late, so when it came time for questions, we were only able to take two.
They trotted out The Question. The Question, which you could put to anyone from Oprah to Howard Stern, that has nothing to do with Second Life and everything to do with show hosts in love with being minor celebrities rather than having something real to say.
The Question is, of course, "Is cybersex cheating?"
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See also the regular Wired column on Sex+Technology:


Heck no, it's not cheating, it's modding! Most of the married women I know do consider it cheating and tend to snoop on the husband's computer for any hint of nudity. However, virtual sex (or cybersex) is first and foremost safe sex, assuming you don't meet anyone in person, that is. Porn is mainly a male thing, because it satisfies fantasy needs and is a quick fix. Women generally tend to approach sex through romance, or even the fantasy of romance (if you haven't read a romance novel lately, you'd be surprised how much raw porn occurs in 320-420 pages).

Last note: both my brothers are "not allowed" to have anything sexual on their computers. Their wives think it's a threat to them somehow. If you're not in the chat rooms, or various groups intending to meet someone in person, however, I can't see the problem.

If it takes the place of regular sex with a loved one (spouse, g/f b/f, significant other, etc), then yes. I've seen this occur and ruin many marriages where the guy gets involved not only in cybersex, but in pornography and no longer tends to the needs of his significant other.

FWIW I don't see the problem as so much sexual, but the potential loss of intimacy with those we have committed to, ie a loss of love.

Hope I'm not being too serious here.


When the Holodeck arrives, sex between bio-humans will be over. I figure most people will choose virtual partners. Dibs on Salma Hayek and Lucy Liu!


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