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Help Proofreading a submission
wraith808:
It's in the original post. :)
wraith808:
I've updated the sources (including Google Docs) after radio silence for a while. The deadline has been pushed to the 31st of Oct, but I'm still trying to get it done ASAP. I'm having trouble on the resolution- I've posted what I have for that last chapter, but I'm not convinced it's the right direction. It could be phantom limb pain as in my aggressive edits I removed a whole combat and action sequence, but looking at the goal of the wrap up and what I'm trying to accomplish, as cool as the setup on that last mission was, it wasn't really necessary. But now I'm struggling with how to convey the situation without telling it.
4wd:
Looking good, I really hope this turns into something bigger than a short story someday :Thmbsup:
TaoPhoenix:
I've updated the sources (including Google Docs) after radio silence for a while. The deadline has been pushed to the 31st of Oct, but I'm still trying to get it done ASAP. I'm having trouble on the resolution- I've posted what I have for that last chapter, but I'm not convinced it's the right direction. It could be phantom limb pain as in my aggressive edits I removed a whole combat and action sequence, but looking at the goal of the wrap up and what I'm trying to accomplish, as cool as the setup on that last mission was, it wasn't really necessary. But now I'm struggling with how to convey the situation without telling it.
-wraith808 (September 12, 2013, 12:30 PM)
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(Disclosure - my focus has been bad again, I haven't read it - these are macro level comments!)
Hmm. Is there a word limit? (Why else wouldn't you just tell a situation?)
And about something being in the "right direction", what total overall mood are you trying for? I for one could suggest various things but if the desired mood is not what is actually there, it would go off track.
wraith808:
Yes, there is a word limit. Even so, I wouldn't just tell it as I think in this case, it's irrelevant. It was good bang-up action, but it wasn't relevant to the story. And as he doesn't have his memory, it's more of a dawning realization- a putting together of the pieces- that I'm going for.
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