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Sci-fi novel now available from DC member kyrathaba!
kyrathaba:
Oops, apologies 4wd :) I'm gonna add some Thanks You's in the front matter, mentioning names of proofreaders. Next upload will have Chapter 6 plus correction of their -> there in Ch. 2.
4wd:
I always think of yours as referring to vehicles (4WD ... even if it's not)-wraith808 (June 14, 2013, 08:25 AM)
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Rest assured, it does...or to be more precise, the activity I enjoy the most :)
Oops, apologies 4wd :)-kyrathaba (June 14, 2013, 08:26 AM)
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Only having a bit of fun with you :D
Perry Mowbray:
Couple more from me (enjoyed the read! :Thmbsup: Hurry up with your writing!!!! :-*):
Prologue:
Page 8 "anti virus" could be "anti-virus" / "antivirus"?
Chapter 1:
Page 9 "existing infractstructure" should be "infrastructure"
Chapter 2:
Page 10 "accompanies group pasttimes" should be "pastimes"
Page 10 "wiggle-room for screwups" should be "screw-ups"
Page 10 "Excute these commands" should be "Execute"
Chapter 3:
Page 11 "responsibility lays on the shoulders of a leader" I would have said "lies"?
Page 11 "ongoing coverup, if there is one" should be "cover-up" or "cover up"
Page 11 "heavy plastic toolcase" I would have thought it should be "tool case"?
Page 11 "Zuzana unzipped the heavy dufflebag" same for "duffle bag"?
Page 11 "The ride to our dropoff point" should be "drop-off" or "drop off"
Chapter 4:
Page 12 "here for millenia after we’re gone" should be "millennia"
About the Author:
Page 14 "last few year’s in DonationCoder’s" should be "years"
Page 14 "local methodist church" should definitely be "Methodist"
4wd:
OK, forgive me for going Sherlock Holmes on you here but there is a rather large inconsistancy, (well, to me anyway), I've found.
See how I go:
Monday, June 11, 2283, 2014 hours
With a heavily encrypted brief message, Sethra announced an impromptu meeting in his cubicle, sending the chime to Byron, Zuzana, and Eddie.
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By my count that's four people in his room, (the sudden introduction of Zuzana where I would have thought it would be Veronee throws me a bit but to continue), this is borne out further on where Zuzana says:
"I borrowed these from an Environmental supply cache. Four suits won't be missed, especially since they're disposable after each use."
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And further on:
Byron showed off his pistol, and explained its function, which drew whistles and utterances of genuine admiration from the other three...
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A bit further:
...and the foursome bumbled their way forward in darkness, then clumsily boarded the large robotic vehicle.
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I think that pretty much establishes there are four people on the way to the Shaft yet when we get there, there are five of them: Sethra, Byron, Eddie, Veronee and Zuzana.
It seems someone has teleported in from somewhere ;)
It seems Perry and I have little to do after midnight here...sleep is obviously not on our agenda ;D
40hz:
4wd has a career in movie production if he's interested in being responsible for continuity. ;D
P.M. some of those may be attributable to differences in American English spelling conventions and current usage. Last I checked screwups screw-ups and screw ups were all considered acceptable spelling variations. At least over here.
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