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Sci-fi novel now available from DC member kyrathaba!
4wd:
Jesse Reichler, Carol Haynes, Fred Nerd (though I'm sure Nerd isn't the actual surname)...-kyrathaba (June 20, 2013, 07:55 PM)
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Aramus De Coderland (superboyac)
Squire Ortockey (skwire) ;D
kyrathaba:
Aramus De Coderland (superboyac)
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Hey! I like that one!
Let's see, Araland De Codamus. Hmm...
kyrathaba:
Two chapters in a single day (uploaded Ch 12 this AM, and just uploaded Ch 13). Available as online HTML via link in OP, or downloadable zip contains Epub and Mobi files.
Enjoy.
Prologue: 1,932 words {Cumulative: 1,932} uploaded 6/13
Chapter 1: 3,423 words {Cumulative: 5,355} wrote 6/10; revised 6/11
Chapter 2: 3,540 words {Cumulative: 8,895} wrote 6/10; revised 6/11
Chapter 3: 3,485 words {Cumulative: 12,380} wrote 6/11; revised 6/12
Chapter 4: 3,384 words {Cumulative: 15,764} finished initial draft 6/12; copy-edited on 6/13; more corrections 6/14
Chapter 5: 2,787 words {Cumulative: 18,551} wrote 6/13, uploaded 6/13
Chapter 6: 1,281 words {Cumulative: 19,832} wrote 6/13, uploaded 6/14
Chapter 7: 1,993 words {Cumulative: 21,825} wrote 6/14 and 6/15
Chapter 8: 2,130 words {Cumulative: 23,955} wrote 6/15; corrections to Ch 7 & 8 and uploaded 6/16
Chapter 9: 2,222 words {Cumulative: 26,177} uploaded 6/16; revised due to reported grammatical errors, and reuploaded 6/16
Chapter 10: 2,777 words {Cumulative: 28,954} uploaded 6/17; some errors corrected in revised Ch. 11 upload on 6/19
Chapter 11: 3,354 words {Cumulative: 32,308} uploaded 6/18; revised 6/19
Chapter 12: 2,108 words {Cumulative: 34,416} uploaded 6/20
Chapter 13: 1,831 words {Cumulative: 36,247} uploaded 6/20
4wd:
Chapter 12:
I'm really not sure about this one but:
...here by the order of his august majesty’s royal guard...
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Should it be Majesty's since we're talking about something that belongs to his Majesty?
Actually, (after doing a quick search online), should it be Majesty's Royal Guard ?
Ugh! Capitalisation of things pertaining to Royals is messy....time for an English inhabitant to join the fray.
...steward lead them through the castle to this grand room.
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...steward led them through the castle to this grand room.
The steward now lead them down a richly carpeted central aisle.
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The steward now led them down a richly carpeted central aisle.
And torches burned in iron sconces along the walls of the hall, adding more light.
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Torches burned in iron sconces along the walls of the hall, adding more light.
Round the ceiling’s circumference ran richly ornamented crown molding of rare lacquered woods carved in intricate designs, and the walls were alternately decorated with obviously expensive tapestries and with weapons and shields that the king had taken as spoils from defeated foes, in his younger days.
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Possibly:
Around the ceiling’s circumference ran a richly ornamented crown molding of rare lacquered woods carved in intricate designs. The walls were decorated with obviously expensive tapestries, interspersed with weapons and shields, spoils of foes defeated by the King in his younger days.
He wore chained mail covered in a dark, forest-green cloak. Behind his chair, leaned against the wall, was a bow and a quiver full of arrows.
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He wore chain mail covered in a dark, forest-green cloak. Behind his chair, leaning against the wall, was a bow and a quiver full of arrows.
A massive scabbarded great sword leaned propped up against the back of his chair. The girth of the leather strap on which is was strung suggested to Byron that the man normally carried the huge weapon across his back.
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I think that having 'propped' makes 'leaned' redundant or v.v.:
A massive scabbarded great sword was propped against the back of his chair. The girth of the leather strap on which it was strung suggested to Byron that the man normally carried the huge weapon across his back.
“Yep, tanks been tumbled, and I triple-checked the mix,” said Grant.
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I'm not sure whether 'tanks' is plural for the main and pony tank or is supposed to be contraction of 'tank has' but I'll mention it since the latter was the first to spring to mind, ie:
“Yep, tank's been tumbled, and I triple-checked the mix,” said Grant.
...Jaimie said, smiling, and she helped him carry and attach an anodized aluminum...
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Jaimie said, smiling, as she helped him carry and attach an anodized aluminum
...Borneo, where scan revealed no survivors.
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...Borneo, where scans revealed no survivors.
Or, if their equipment is efficient:
...Borneo, where a scan revealed no survivors.
Perry Mowbray:
Pierre Maybrow... hmmmmm...
:D
-4wd (June 20, 2013, 06:54 PM)
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I'm actually fond of 'Warmboy' myself...
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