Main Area and Open Discussion > Living Room

English as it is spoke.

(1/4) > >>

pilgrim:
It is a little known histerical fact that in the year 1807 at a court in Berkhampstead, England, a man named Noah Webster was tried in his absence and convicted of the attempted murder of the English Language, an event which took place the previous year in the former American colonies. It was a crime so terrible that to this day millions of people around the world still suffer from its effects.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

On a more modern note you will all be aware of the language files that are part of various software.
Just recently I came across a program that carried such things to extremes, at least as far as English went.
Besides En-UK and En-US it had En-AU, CA, NZ, and SA, it only needed IR and they would have had a full house.
Strictly speaking all versions other than the original might easily be combined under En-PI.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

English was never my best subject at school and it wasn't just written English.
I remember my parents being called in by the Head Teacher who complained that she couldn't understand half of what I said.
It wasn't surprising really as she came from the stockbroker belt while we lived in the pawnbroker belt.

My Father suggested that if they wanted me to talk proper they should give me some of those 'electrocution' lessons.
My Mother was shocked!
Mind you so would I have been if they had gone through with it.
Fortunately she told them that those lessons were not included in the current curriculum.
Pathetic or Watt?

This is another extract from Pilgrim: A Brief Hystery.

Tinman57:

  Shouldn't this go in the "Silly Humor" forum?

  On another note, English is supposed to be the hardest language in the world to learn.  By listening to some of the younger generation talk I can tell they either had a hard time in English class, or, most likely, is a result of today's educational system in the U.S., which I can attest to first hand.  My step-daughter was having problems with her English homework/test and asked me to help.  First thing I told her is that I attended school years ago and most likely wouldn't be able to help much, thinking things had advanced by now.  Then I looked at the questions she had to answer and discovered they were at the 8th grade reading level, she was a senior at the time.  I went over the whole home-test with her (making her think about the answer, like teaching).  She scored 100 on the test, but I know if I hadn't of helped her she would have barely passed, if she had passed at all....

pilgrim:
Shouldn't this go in the "Silly Humor" forum?-Tinman57 (May 24, 2013, 06:21 PM)
--- End quote ---

I'm not sure it qualifies for either.

I always thought that a Living Room was a suitable place for 'humour', perhaps I was mistaken?

Perhaps I should stick to computing subjects? Or simply stop posting altogether and just read the threads?

Really!

IainB:
Shouldn't this go in the "Silly Humor" forum?-Tinman57 (May 24, 2013, 06:21 PM)
--- End quote ---
I'm not sure it qualifies for either.
I always thought a Living Room was a suitable place for 'humour', perhaps I was mistaken?
Perhaps I should stick to computing subjects? Or simply stop posting altogether and just read the threads?
-pilgrim (May 25, 2013, 05:16 AM)
--- End quote ---

Hahaha, very droll. Yes, it can be a real challenge sometimes can't it?    ;)
Here you go. This is what you probably need to consider doing:



By the way, I liked the jokes. Thanks.

pilgrim:
By the way, I liked the jokes.-IainB (May 25, 2013, 06:08 AM)
--- End quote ---

Just when I was beginning to think that everybody was a critic.


Actually I have been thinking about my original post and remembering how I used to think that pawnbrokers were very strange people, and talk about vain!
Have you seen their sign? :huh:
I've often wondered if in very cold weather they are prone to the same problem as that experienced by a certain type of monkey?  :D


Reminds me of the story about the woman who had just given birth to her first child, she saw that when the midwife looked at the baby she had a shocked expression on her face.
The mother said "What's the matter, please tell me there's nothing wrong with the baby".
The midwife replied "No there's nothing wrong with it, you have a lovely son............................but tell me is your husband a pawnbroker by any chance?"

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page