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20 New User Misconceptions about Linux
johnk:
And since my anecdotal evidence seems to support the opposite, no point was proven.
-housetier (February 22, 2011, 08:14 PM)
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I'm certainly not trying to prove a point, just offering an opinion.
Renegade:
Some use ten headings. Some use more. But they all essentially say the exact same thing. :-\
-40hz (February 22, 2011, 07:02 PM)
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The tone and manner in this one seemed much better. It wasn't preaching or condescending like most are.
timns:
Which would win the race if setting up a new machine, from scratch, to provide (say) were performed by 'experts' at installing each OS.
Say barebones of: working network connection to the interweb, browser, email, Word processor, Spreadsheet, etc. - basically everything the average schmoe would want.
Windows 7? Linux? OS/X?
VMS? :Thmbsup:
Paul Keith:
ehh... IMO ED still has the best Linux article for newbies out of all these types of articles. Link NSFW obviously
Few to no Linux for newbie articles contain such classic truths as:
Pedobuntu, one of the most popular Lunix distros.
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Linus Torvalds picked out a penguin to be the mascot, because:
* Tux, Linus Torvalds and several pieces by Erik Satie all are pear-shaped.
Did I mention he smells like a yak (and his wife can kick your ass)?
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Type of Linux Users:
Penguinista: A penguinista is a Lunix user who hides the fact that he dual boots into Windows to play Doom. During his free time, he tries to write a program that will make Windows programs run natively in Lunix. This will never happen. Some people have come close, but by the time they have 16 bit Windows emulated everyone else has moved on to 64 bit Windows. Oh yeah... they also use GIMP to collect welfare.
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Much like Civic fag-boys will often times claim that they've witnessed Honda Civics beating Lamborghinis and rocket ships in drag races, Lunix fans will often times claim that Lunix can out-perform the corporate flagships of the OS world (ie. Windows, Solaris, etc.), when in reality, most people couldn't even be paid to use Lunix.
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Many of the Interwebs' greatest retards are in fact Windows users. Mainly due to the fact that introducing home-user lunix machines onto the internet would be like infecting a cancer patient with AIDS, Lunix limits the numbers of them automagically by offering horribly written, utterly unusable wifi card drivers (which are still distributed as if they actually were functional. By the way, does someone truly believe that open source software written by idle teens who can't get even a computing related summer-job is somehow bound to be of good quality?).
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If the subject of distros comes up, reply, "Yes, but what can [insert distro name] do that Ubuntu can't do?
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Ask "But can it run BSD?"
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If the subject of CLI comes up, reply, "But you could do that with DOS twenty years ago!"
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Tell everyone that Lunix isn't ready for grandma
Reply: "Don't want grandma finding your porn...
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Make it known that $699 (the fee you legally owe SCO Novell if you use Lunix) is $300 more than the price Windows Server 2003 Web Edition, which has more features, greater stability, and has been shown time and time again to have a higher ROI.
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"Yes, it´s very dificult to install programs,that´s why there is so much people that use windows, instead of lunix, if the lunix developers make it easy like the .exe on windows,everybody will switch to lunix."
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Lunix can be a great tool for haxoring your school's computer lab. Not only do most distributions take up minimal hard drive space, many can also be booted quickly from a LiveCD. LiveCDs can be configured via their ISO image then burned to disk to create your bootable LiveCD. Once you are booted into Lunix it's possible for some distributions to install themselves onto small memory devices such as USB drives or memory cards. You can then take the newly created USB - which can be as small as around 256MB depending on the distribution you're using - and plug it into almost any PC. Once the device is plugged in use the following steps to boot into your Lunix distribution:
Shut off the PC.
Turn on the PC.
Wait for the manufacturer's logo (ie: Dell).
Hit F12 repeatedly until the logo goes away.
Select your Lunix device as the boot device.
Hit enter.
The computer will then boot into Lunix instead of Windows effectively bypassing any security measures that Windows would usually put in place during bootup - this includes most file restrictions. Please keep in mind that internet filters are usually not handled in Windows but on the organization's Server. If you're at work or in school, chances are you will still be blocked from certain websites. Finally you can mount and access the C Drive.
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Make you rich because there are three rich guys who used Lunix
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Make you attractive to women because Bill Gates' wife is hot (note: Bill Gates uses Windows) (2nd note: make $50 billion, and she won't give a flying fuck what operating system you use)
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Make you smarter
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Make you lose weight (note: Lunix, Mountain Dew, Nasal Spray and Pop Tarts are not proper diet and lifting one of your many massive Lunix user-guide type books does not count as exercise)
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Make you superior to the human race. Superiority is not defined by the number of gutted computer carcasses in your home, or the depth of your basement, or by how many operating systems you can fit on your hard drive
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Reformat and install another distribution. (People have been known to do this continuously for weeks. Hint: they all suck. Stop wasting your time.)
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Read countless manuals to do the simplest of tasks. And still fail
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Say you use Lunix (which will get your ass kicked, even by other Lunix users.)
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Run a virtual instance of Windows so you can play games, while at the same time saying how much you hate Microsoft.
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Argue that KDE is better than GNOME.
Argue that GNOME is better than KDE.
Argue that both GNOME and KDE are inferior to your chosen environment.
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Depend on easy to use programs like vi.
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Installing Lunix on your Computer
Lunix can be installed on any desktop, laptop, cellphone, iphone, gaming system, wristwatch, or large dildo in just a few simple steps:
Download your chosen "flavor" of Lunix using windows because if you're downloading it from an existing Lunix install you won't be able to burn cd's or make bootable usb drives.
Boot into the distro and expect one of the following to happen:
* Won't boot
* Graphics are fucked
* Network isnt working
* Keyboard/mouse not working
* Random lockups
Guess at the problem / Manually type the errors into google that you have open on a working Windows machine. Do this for at least three days.
Start a thread on the distro's forum asking for help with excruciating detail of your system layout and troubleshooting case results.
Resolve the problem with the help of dumb luck.
Return to the thread and let them know you fixed it. DO NOT share how you fixed it.
Bragging rights are yours! Let your buddies know you're a full fledged hacker!
Cut yourself to relieve the tension.
Congratulations you are now a Lunix guru!
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Becoming a master of lunix/unix requires a lifetime of dedication. You've heard of monks of various religious that take vows of chastity to show that they have risen above lust. Monks that grow long beards to prove they have risen above vanity. Monks that abstain from the impurities of the world and sit in near total darkness starring at a small light like a candle flame or an electronic equivalent. Often these people are religious hermits.
It is this spiritual dedication that makes one a master of lunix/unix.
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When you use Lunix, you will become so frustrated that you will constantly fight with windows, mac, and even other lunix users.
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Lunix doesn't get viruses because they are pre-installed and dynamically create themselves.
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Modern desktop distributions include a wide variety of software packages, pre-compiled for the major processor architectures, so no compiling for the average person. These don't include Microsoft Office, Internet Explorer, or Adobe Photoshop, but they do include Wine, which lets you whine about how Lunix can't run your favorite applications.
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Hardware drivers are a bit difficult to get if not included already, but most are already there -- But if you've got an ATI or Nvidia card and install the proprietary drivers that actually work, fundie Lunix users will start bawwing at you for violating the GPL and deliberately introduce changes into the next kernel to break those drivers.
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Lunix gamers do install windows and dual boot, but pretty much just to game -- And find out why the latest round of updates broke their X server.
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As of 2010 or so, most of the kernel is written by paid developers from the hardware industry -- Except most of their users are running servers hosting furry porn in their mother's basements.
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Discussion page:
It's not called Lunix. It's called Linux. Josh1492 02:13, 29 April 2010 (UTC)Josh1492
Linux is a typo. -- DerSquirrel 02:22, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
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Linux isn't UNIX. I hate Linux regardless.
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Quotes are written in tongue-in-cheek form sure but the reality is most of these other articles are so outdated and over-stated that you could make a "20 New Geek Misconceptions about Facebook" and the contents would probably be far more original,insightful (and most importantly CORRECT for the year 2011) which just shows how sad the situation is.
The Internet: Where we've gone from sharing knowledge to giving AIDs to everyone who wants knowledge.
40hz:
Some use ten headings. Some use more. But they all essentially say the exact same thing. :-\
-40hz (February 22, 2011, 07:02 PM)
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The tone and manner in this one seemed much better. It wasn't preaching or condescending like most are.
-Renegade (February 22, 2011, 08:46 PM)
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Very true. The tone was much better. And many of the points made do merit an occasional repeating.
Credit where credit is due. :)
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