Main Area and Open Discussion > Living Room

Cute jokes thread

<< < (39/45) > >>

Giampy:
I reported the joke as I remembered it, without caring about its perfection.
To fix the matter I try to rewrite the joke.

------------

The doctor loftily says: "To solve your disease you must spend your summer in a marine place"

Patient: "Excuse me, but I..."

Doctor: "What's wrong? Don't you trust me?"

Patient: "Excuse me, but I..."

Doctor: "Hey, do you doubt about me? Do you dare that?"

Patient: "Excuse me, but I..."

Doctor: "Damn it! Your are irritatingly insistent! Do you believe to be more clever than me? I am a very famous specialist!"

Patient: "Doctor, but I..."

Doctor, nervously and almost loudly: "Ok, you have won. Say what you want!!!"

Patient: "Doctor, I was trying to say that I am a lifeguard..."

bit:
There once was a worn-out comic,
Whose jokes were no longer tonic,
Till he met a young child,
Whose sensibilities were mild,
And their friendship soon became chronic.

Edvard:
A certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe's bar for some time, subsisting on scraps and occasional handouts from the bartender. One evening, emboldened by hunger, the feline attempted to follow Gabe through the back door. Regrettably, only the his body had made it through when the door slammed shut, severing the cat's tail at its base. This proved too much for the old creature, who looked sadly at Gabe and expired on the spot. Gabe put the carcass back out in the alley and went back to business.
The mandatory closing time arrived and Gabe was in the process of locking up after the last customers had gone. Approaching the back door he was startled to see an apparition of the old cat mournfully holding its severed tail out, silently pleading for Gabe to put the tail back on its corpse so that it could go on to the kitty afterworld complete.
Gabe shook his head sadly and said to the ghost, "I can't. You know the law -- no retailing spirits after 2:00 AM."

Curt:
Sadly the picture here is 615 x 2489 pixels,
but there are important subtitles to read:

wraith808:
^ From http://www.hitfix.com/comedy/family-feud-answers-that-caused-steve-harvey-to-lose-faith-in-humanity

Another funny one:

Name something you really can take with you if you have a big enough casket.

A Pet.

You're dead, so you're going to kill your pet because you didn't make it?

--- End quote ---

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page