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Cute jokes thread

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Ath:
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
-Renegade (July 27, 2011, 06:55 AM)
--- End quote ---

LOL ;D ;D ;D

Does that include writing in English? :o

Curt:
 ;D  :D   :greenclp:  Thank you!

Fra nu af skriver jeg kun på dansk!

Curt:
The proper way to answer certain kind of questions:


Dear Miriam
The other day I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual.
I hadn't gone a hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car juddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.
When I got home I found him in the bedroom. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for 12 years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed up in my lingerie because he couldn't find any of his own underwear.
But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he has been wearing my clothes for six months.
I told him it had to stop, or I would leave him.

He was made redundant from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum, he has become increasigly distant, and I don't feel I can get through to him any more. Please can you help
Mrs B., Essex-Letter To Miriam's Advice Lines
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and the wonderful, proper answer:

Dear Mrs. B.  
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults in the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold.
If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber.-Answer from Miriam's Advice Lines
--- End quote ---
-from Real Life
--- End quote ---
Cute jokes thread

NB!: Text by ABBYY Screenshot Reader.

CodeBoy:
A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of nice new shoes. 'How do they feel?' asks the sales clerk.

'Well they feel a bit tight,' replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet. 'Try pulling the tongue out,' the clerk says.

'Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth.

 ;D

wraith808:
Geek Humor!

A virus walks into a bar, and the bartender says we don't serve viruses in this bar.  The virus replaces the bartender, and says now we do.

An infectious disease walks into a bar, and the bartender says we don't serve infectious diseases in this bar.  The infectious disease replies, well, you're not a very good host.

Two bacteria walk into a bar, and the bartender says we don't serve bacteria in this bar.  The bacteria replies but we work here!  We're staph!

... getting geekier...

A room temperature superconductor walks into a bar.  The bartender replies we don't serve any superconductors in this bar.  The room temperature super conductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

... and geekier...

An infrared photon walks into a bar and asks, is it hot in here, or is it just me?

... deeper down the geek hole...

A neutrino walks into a bar, and the bartender says we don't serve neutrinos in this bar, and the neutrino replies, hey, I was just passing through...

... one last level of geek factor...

Schroedinger's cat walks into a bar... and doesn't!

And a bonus geek joke!

√-1 2^3 ∑ π

Spoiler(I ate sum pie)

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