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silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

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silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

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silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

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Top 28 Funny Quotes


Target:
Two scientists walk into a bar...

"I'll have H2O" says the first...

"I'll have H2O, too" says the second...

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context...

panzer:
+20° - Greeks put on sweaters (if they can find them).

+15° - Hawaiians turn on the heaters (if they have them).

+10° - Americans shake, Russians are planting cucumbers.

+5° - You can see your own breathing. Italian cars don't start. Norwegians take a bath. Russians drive with lowered windows.

0° - Water freezes in America, in Russia it thickens.

-5° - French cars don't start.

-10° - You're planning a vacation to Australia.

-15° - Your cat insists to sleep in your bed. Norwegians put on sweaters.

-18° - New York landlords turn on the heaters. Russians make their last seasonal picnic.

-20° - American cars don't start. People in Alaska start wearing long-sleeves.

-25° - German cars don't start. Hawaiians are dead.

-30° - Politicians start talking about homeless people. Your cat prefers to sleep in your pajamas.

-35° - Too cold to think. Japanese cars don't start.

-40° - You're planning a 2-week hot tub bath. Swedish cars don't start.

-42° - Transportation stops in Europe. Russians eat ice cream on the street.

-45° - All Greeks are dead. Politicians really start doing something for the homeless.

-50° - Your eyelids start sticking when you blink. In Alaska, people close the window in the bathroom.

-60° - White bears start moving south.

-70° - Hell freezes.

-73° - Finnish special services evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland. Russians wear earmuff hats.

-80° - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

-114° - Ethyl alcohol is freezing. Russians are unhappy.

-273° - Absolute zero, atomic movement stops. Russians wear boots.

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