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silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

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IainB:
New terrorist group at Large in USA.
At the New York airport, an individual, later discovered to be a school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set-square and a calculator.  The police believe the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.  He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed.  They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off at a tangent in search of absolute value.  They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every country.

The great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle.". However, if Providence intended us to have better weapons of math instruction, we would have been given more fingers and toes. Therefore, it is fortunate that the US government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard - these statistic bastards love to inflict plane on sphere of influence.

Under the circumferences, it is time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line.  These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimalize everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher power and begin to factor-in random facts or vertex.

As the President might say "Read my ellipse. Though they would continue to multiply, their days are numbered and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks."

IainB:
Statistics on 4WD accidents.
Over the last five years the N.T.S.B.  has been covertly funding a project with U.S.  auto-makers whereby the auto-makers have been installing "black boxes" in all four wheel drive pick up trucks they have manufactured.  This was to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised that in 42 of the 50 states, the last words of the drivers in 61.2% of the fatal crashes were, "Oh sh#t!"

Only the states of Arkansas, West Virginia, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Texas, and Tennessee were different, where over 89.3% of the final words were, "Hold my beer and watch this."

KynloStephen66515:
Damnit IainB, stop changing the topic in your replies...it makes me think there's fresh content on the forum lol

IainB:
@Stephen66515: That was the idea!    ;-)

People would read it, initially thinking it to be serious...
It's a a sorta joke in camouflage.
I shall stop doing it now, if it confuzzles.    ;)

IainB:
In the book The Penguin Dictionary of Curious and Interesting Numbers, by David Wells, pub. 1986, there are notes about many different numbers, starting with -1 and i (negative and complex numbers) and working up, but there is an especially interesting note about the number 39:
This appears to be the first uninteresting number, which of course makes it an especially interesting number, because it is the smallest number to have the property of being uninteresting.
It is therefore also the first number to be simultaneously interesting and uninteresting.
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