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silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

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TaoPhoenix:
Reminds me of my old days with a penguin book of Englishman Irishman Scotsman jokes.

Renegade:
Oh god... You CANNOT make this shit up~!

Get ready... to piss yourself. Oh, and that only applies to the ladies here -- not the guys. Seriously...

http://www.shewee.com/

Shewee is the award winning portable urinating device for women. Shewee allows women to urinate whilst standing and without removing clothes.

Shewee and its complimentary product range are ideal products for camping, travelling, festivals, long car journeys, and any kind of outdoor pursuit where the toilet facilities are absent or less than desirable.

Shewee is easy to use, discreet, reusable, lightweight and it fits in a pocket.

Shewee is available on NHS prescription for all types of medical purposes.

Shewee is NATO approved and supplied to armed forces worldwide.
--- End quote ---





Now while the guys here may piss themselves laughing, the girls can piss themselves standing up~!

But I think the real test of the Shewee is whether or not it lets your write your name in the snow. :P

;D

IainB:
The writing's on the lawn.

A computer company arranged to hold its annual Christmas corporate function for staff at an old stately home in the hills of Scotland. The owner of the stately home was a Peer in the House of Lords, who had a much younger and very attractive wife.

Amongst the personnel of the computer company was a man called Alan, who was known for his womanising ways.

The computer company's corporate function went off extremely well, with much drinking, socialising and jollity.

The next year, the computer company CEO wrote to the Peer and asked if they could hold their next Christmas function there, since the first one had been such a success and they had all had such a great time. The Peer sent a letter back saying that he'd be very happy to oblige the request under the same terms as before, but asked that the company please refrain from sending any member of their staff who was called "Alan".

Intrigued, the CEO phoned up the Peer and asked, "What was the reason for your request not to send anyone called "Alan"? There is only one member of staff by that name."

The Peer replied, "Well, in the morning after your function, written in urine in the snow on the croquet lawn were the words, 'Piss off Bertie. Yours, Alan.' - and my name is Bertie, you see."

The CEO was acutely embarrassed, "Goodness me! I didn't realise that he had done that. What a rude thing to do! I do apologise. I shall speak with him about it."

The Peer replied, "Well, you don't need to tick him off about it - I didn't want him punished. It's just that I don't want him there, exposed to any further temptation. You see, I recognised it as being in my wife's handwriting!"
--- End quote ---

Arizona Hot:
(see attachment in previous post)
-Renegade (July 26, 2012, 07:57 PM)
--- End quote ---
Have you heard the joke: "What did the dyslexic atheist do after being bitten by a dog?"
If so, where was it and what was the punchline?

IainB:
@Arizona Hot: You might have it (the words) a bit wrong. It's probably one of the many jokes about dyslexics. Here, from my database of collected jokes:
_____________________________
Did you hear about the dyslexic, atheist insomniac?
He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a Dog.
_____________________________
Did you hear about the dyslexic Christian? A: He used to pray to his dog each night.
_____________________________
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? A: He walks around saying, "Yo".
_____________________________
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
_____________________________
Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic?
He choked on his own vimto.
_____________________________
Dyslexia means never having to say that you're yrros.
_____________________________
In New York today, two dyslexic bank robbers ran into a bank shouting, "Air in the hands motherstuckers, this is a fickup!"
_____________________________
Dyslexic signwriter.
A slightly dyslexic signwriter was putting up a sign for a new shop called BRAT'S, but the sign read "PRAT'S".  The signwriter had just finished when the owner came out to check the sign.

"You can't put that there!" said the owner, appalled at the mistake.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" said the dyslexic signwriter.

"You got it wrong, you've put P...R...A...T...'S  - it should be B...R...A...T...'S !" he spelt out.

"Oh my god!" exclaimed the dyslexic signwriter in great agitation.

"What's so awful?  You only have to correct the first letter!" said the owner.

"That's not the problem, I've just come from doing a new sign for the LONDON BRICK company!"
_____________________________
Dyslexics.  Try deliberately spelling words wrongly.  This way at least you have a chance of spelling them correctly.
_____________________________
Psychiatric hotline. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
_____________________________
Dyslexics have more fnu.
_____________________________

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