Main Area and Open Discussion > Living Room
silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
TaoPhoenix:
Leader of Free World Weighs in on This Whole 'Peas in Guac' Debate
-Arizona Hot (July 03, 2015, 04:45 AM)
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(Obama)
But still, it's actually kinda brilliant, jokes about dirty politics aside, we always wanted our leaders to be more accessible, and twitter is so fast. So Prez can maybe get a little stress relief.
(Simulation)
3:30 PM Tell Iran to stop yelling at Kuwait
3:57 PM Post funny comment on Twitter (after being vetted by Legal and SecSvc)
4:00 PM Discuss Economic report from Fed Reserve
:)
wraith808:
How about a blog about shoplifting?
http://call-me-stickyfingers.tumblr.com/
Here's one post:
Animal tip
*disclaimer* this MAY sound crazy, but believe me, it works.
Step 1: obtain an animal that scurries fast. Go to petco and purchase either 10 rats/10 white mice/3 ferrets OR obtain a farm pot bellies pig/hen/or boar. My aunt higgith once obtained a keckle of geese that she personally lifted from a nearby town farm.
Step 2: store animals in an inconspicuous container. Make sure it has air holes for breathing so your animals don’t die.
Step 3: drive to a store you’d like to shoplift from
Step 4: enter the store carrying your hidden animals of choice
Step 5: when no one is around, release your furry friends into the isle and watch them scurry and scamper everywhere
Step 6: immediately run to the nearest SA and tell them you saw a rodent/animal
Step 7: the SA will typically call in a special code in their walkie talkie or will have to alert their supervisors that a live animal is on the loose. Remember: the more animals scurrying free the better!
Step 8: steal all the shit you want! At this point the entire store will be trying to locate the pest and will probably not be paying attention to any cameras. Innocent shoppers may get frantic and scared of a wild boar making its way through the store and soon chaos may take over the store, inciting frenzied crowd syndrome
Step 9: while the store is chaotic, steal steal steal! Shove shit down your pants, eat a bag of chips while you’re at it, and empty the registers! Take a shit right inside the toy isle! LP won’t be paying attention
Step 10: leave! Run! Remember to only attempt this crazy tip once every five years or so. My aunt Higgith once released a bucket of rats and 3 guinea pigs into Target and she was able to get away with $4k worth of shit while the entire store was under terror
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It gets crazier...
-Renegade (July 03, 2015, 01:15 PM)
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I told you to stay off tumblr... ;D
app103:
How about a blog about shoplifting?
http://call-me-stickyfingers.tumblr.com/
Here's one post:
Animal tip
*disclaimer* this MAY sound crazy, but believe me, it works.
Step 1: obtain an animal that scurries fast. Go to petco and purchase either 10 rats/10 white mice/3 ferrets OR obtain a farm pot bellies pig/hen/or boar. My aunt higgith once obtained a keckle of geese that she personally lifted from a nearby town farm.
Step 2: store animals in an inconspicuous container. Make sure it has air holes for breathing so your animals don’t die.
Step 3: drive to a store you’d like to shoplift from
Step 4: enter the store carrying your hidden animals of choice
Step 5: when no one is around, release your furry friends into the isle and watch them scurry and scamper everywhere
Step 6: immediately run to the nearest SA and tell them you saw a rodent/animal
Step 7: the SA will typically call in a special code in their walkie talkie or will have to alert their supervisors that a live animal is on the loose. Remember: the more animals scurrying free the better!
Step 8: steal all the shit you want! At this point the entire store will be trying to locate the pest and will probably not be paying attention to any cameras. Innocent shoppers may get frantic and scared of a wild boar making its way through the store and soon chaos may take over the store, inciting frenzied crowd syndrome
Step 9: while the store is chaotic, steal steal steal! Shove shit down your pants, eat a bag of chips while you’re at it, and empty the registers! Take a shit right inside the toy isle! LP won’t be paying attention
Step 10: leave! Run! Remember to only attempt this crazy tip once every five years or so. My aunt Higgith once released a bucket of rats and 3 guinea pigs into Target and she was able to get away with $4k worth of shit while the entire store was under terror
--- End quote ---
It gets crazier...
-Renegade (July 03, 2015, 01:15 PM)
--- End quote ---
Many years ago, while I was working at a large discount store in a high crime area, we had an incompetent clerk that worked the pet department that on more than one occasion, let all the parakeets loose. They were flying all over the store, dive bombing customers, while she chased after the birds with a net.
While this was going on, one time, someone got the bright idea of shoplifting some stuff from the electronics department (my department). Little did they know that there was a guy whose sole job was to watch that department on camera, and no matter what was going on elsewhere in the store, that was still his only job.
They made it out of the electronics department with whatever they were trying to steal (I received a phone call from the camera watcher to not say anything and just let him go), only to be stopped at one of the exits by a couple of rather large off duty police officers (that were hired to work security for us) standing in his way. As soon as the guy watching the cameras saw the dude stuff merchandise down his pants, he made the radio call to our security guys, with a full description of what he looked like, then tracking him through the store on camera, while talking to the officers. The officers knew just which door he was headed for and met him there.
The moral of the story is this: Animal control is not the job of security people. Never assume that it is.
Renegade:
I told you to stay off tumblr... ;D
-wraith808 (July 03, 2015, 02:23 PM)
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B-b-b-but the insanity is just TOO much fun~! ;D
...
The moral of the story is this: Animal control is not the job of security people. Never assume that it is.
-app103 (July 03, 2015, 03:52 PM)
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It's stuff like that, that makes me wonder once more about how many of these tumblr blogs aren't just trolls looking to find a bunch of complete and total morons, or get those morons into serious trouble.
Some of the SJW tumblrinas are so wonky, that it's tough to know whether they're trolling or serious, because there really are people that are that wacked out. If a drunk can chop his own head off with a chainsaw, and a feminist can abort her kid purely because it's male... then some of these other freaks kind of seem to be a bit more realistic.
But... time for more insanity~!
tumblrinas that think they are animals or dragons or god knows what...
http://kinfessions.tumblr.com/
Here's one:
When I was about 5 I realized I was a dragon but never knew the name for it. Originally I was an Ice dragon named Fragment, then I became Luna the Darkness dragon, then I became Breeze the Wind and Poison Dragon, and now I am Jiya the Lightning Dragon. I am an evolving dragon it seems.
--- End quote ---
...and...
I just learned about Dollkin and have been searching all over trying to find out more about it. I am so interested and drawn to it but I can't find any real info about it. I have so many questions.
--- End quote ---
If you think these people need help...
http://therianhelpdesk.tumblr.com/
:huh:
flowercrowned-coyote asked: hello I'm a wolf, coyote, and deer therian. my wolf and coyote conflict quite a bit with my deer. when I howl withy the coyotes behind my house I want to join them, but I have the urge to run away. is this possible? is it bad? and what should I do?
*************
For starters, one’s theriotypes are them so you are a coyote/deer/wolf on a spiritual, brain-related, etc. level (whichever you personally believe). Thus, you don’t have a deer, you are one, so saying “my *insert animal here*” sounds more like you’re talking about an external entity like a totem or similar. Generally, people with multiple kintypes rarely experience them as a mesh like that. Instead, they tend to either experience one at a time or the theriotype they experience is dependent on environment. For example, I rarely experience my shark theriotype on land and rarely experience my lion theriotype in the water.
Identity in general is only “bad” if it interferes with your life in a negative way. So I wouldn’t say it’s bad, but I’m sure it’s odd and frustrating. I’d focus, first and foremost, on figuring out if you truly identify as these animals or if you have a connection to them on another level. Depending what you figure out, I’d focus on compartmentalizing so such a thing is less of an issue.
Mod Shlion
2 weeks ago 4 ☆ reblog
tagged: +mod shlion +therian help desk +therianthropy +therian +otherkin +flowercrowned-coyote
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:o
Anonymous asked: Is there a difference between kintype and thereotype??
*************
A Theriotype is specifically a nonhuman earthen animal that a Therian identifies as. A kintype is the nonhuman entity that an Otherkin identifies as.
You can have both if you identify as a nonhuman thing and a nonhuman earthen animal.
--- End quote ---
:wallbash:
I'm not sure that's actually helping much... :P
app103:
First there was the single player wilderness survival game, Don't Starve, then the multi-player version Don't Starve Together...
Now, introducing Don't Starve IRL, the version in which you can assume the identity of your favorite character, such as Willow the Firestarter, and play in a real wilderness:
California woman gets lost, gives birth, fights off bees, survives on apples and starts a wildfire.
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