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silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

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Quebec’s language watchdog "fails" a restaurant for having some wall art containing English words: (not a made-up "The Onion" joke, apparently)
Following ‘pastagate’, famous Montreal restaurant goes public about its own language police run-in
from National Post - Top Stories by Canadian Press

MONTREAL — One of Canada’s most famous restaurants has come forward with its own tale of troubles with Quebec’s language watchdog, days after a flap over the word pasta made international headlines.

Montreal’s Joe Beef, which has been featured on international cooking shows and has a best-selling book, is the latest restaurant to complain about the Office quebecois de la langue francaise.

This time it apparently came down to some wall art containing English words.

Owner David McMillan said inspectors took issue with a memento from a Prince Edward Island beach that says “exit” and an antique sign above the staff bathroom that says “please leave this gate closed.”

They thought another item, an old sign from a Tennessee butcher, was part of the restaurant’s menu, he said.

McMillan said he was shocked by the lack of understanding of the inspectors, who were young and seemed like “deer in headlights.”

He said the visit left a sour taste, but added he has no plans to move his celebrated restaurant elsewhere any time soon.

“I love Quebec… but it’s not getting any easier,” McMillan, who is completely bilingual, said in an interview Saturday.

“My wife is French, my business partner is French, my children go to French school, but I just get so sad and depressed and wonder, what’s wrong with these people?”

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Further down on the same page:
Under the Parti Quebecois government, the OQLF has received a 6% budget increase this year, to $24.7 million, in an effort to protect the French language.
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Looks like Fascistic bureaucracy. Rather like single-species farming - all the others must be expunged and sod the need for PC ethnic diversity.

C'est idiot.

Arizona Hot:
Tesco are now testing all their vegetarian burgers for traces of unicorn.
-Renegade (February 23, 2013, 09:55 AM)
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Am I the only one that immediately thought of this?  ;D
-app103 (February 23, 2013, 11:31 AM)
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You know that if a guy eats too much unicorn, it gives him a sex change. Just a friendly warning. If you want, I'll try to find some pictures of people this has happened to.

Am I the only one that immediately thought of this?  ;D
-app103 (February 23, 2013, 11:31 AM)
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Minus one point to them for calling it 14 ounces in the ad copy and 5.5 ounces on the can.

Fred Nerd:
A Salute to Rodney Dangerfield

A 21-joke salute to comedian Rodney (who died in 2004 at age 82) -- his best one-liners.


1. I was so poor growing up! If I wasn't a boy, I'd have had nothing to play with.

2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.

3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

4. One day I came home early from work. I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."

5. Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

6. I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

8. I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breastfed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

9. I'm so ugly, my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."

11. I'm so ugly, my mother had morning sickness after I was born.

12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."

14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

15. I'm so ugly, I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.

16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.

19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times -- three of those times I was reading it.

20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy -- for birth control.

21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.

@Fred Nerd: I had a very interesting (to me) reaction to some of those jokes you listed by Rodney Dangerfield. I like lots of jokes, but I find some of those that you quoted to be strangely disquieting/distasteful. I don't like them nor do I find them funny, though I think I can see why they might seem funny to others. Some of them are quite clever too.

When I tried to analyse this dislike, I saw that it's the ones where he makes fun of his own (suggested or real) ugliness, or of his family's dislike/hatred of him. It seems to be a negative focus on "affliction" and on "family", and I don't enjoy negative jokes about people's afflictions or their families - where the butt of the joke is the afflicted/unloved one.

For example, there was a rather clever joke in similar vein by Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise. It went something like this:
Eric:   I got home early yesterday and found a blind man upstairs in bed with my wife making love to her.
Ernie: Goodness! What did you do?
Eric:   I killed his dog and broke his stick.

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I didn't find that at all funny (the butt of his joke being his wife, you see), yet I loved most of their humour - for example:
Eric and Ernie were sitting in deckchairs, chatting about the weather.
Eric: I woke up this morning and thought it looked nice out...[pause] I left it out.

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