TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE A CRAPPY PROGRAMMER

10. You remove all the comments you find because they take up valuable RAM.

9. You've locked yourself out of your own garage because you've misprogrammed the remote.

8. You discover all the error handlers in the project are named after you.

7. Instead of errors, your compiler generates terrorist alerts.

6. Your proudest achievement: Lead Developer for Windows ME Microsoft Bob.

5. The title on your business cards: "Shit For Brains".

4. You have your own security detail -- as protection from the QA team.

3. Your idea of "optimization" is to delete the stuff you don't understand.

2. You get flowers and expensive gifts after each software release.  From the competition.

1. Your version of "Hello World" crashes.

Also, any processes running as "Exploder" should be flagged as suspicious.

I often think about the advent of the audio cassette in the late '60s and the video tape in the mid to late 70's and wonder if there was this level of paranoia about piracy.

You betcha.