Linspire, Inc. Is the worst company I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with. From my first moments with them several years until . . . Probably forever. . . They torment me. I think they do it on purpose. That or they
aspire linspire to a level of incompetency that can be rivaled only by monkeys post brain-transplant-with-toad surgery. Boing.
I was going through a multi-boot kick. I had a few flavors of Linux as well as trusty windows installed. There was a special one week only offer to get Linspire (Then Lindows IIRC) free. I am not one to turn away free stuff usually, and it was more fodder for my OS playing. So I downloaded and installed it. If I knew then what I know now . . .
Their primary source of income isn't the OS itself but their software distribution system. They have a package installer, like any other linux distribution (and no easier to use than, say, Ubuntus) -- but unlike others, you have to pay a monthly fee to use it. Paying gives you access to some stuff, other stuff you have to pay even more out of pocket for. It's very capitalistic. It's not very good, at all, and its only real claim to fame is larger, shinier buttons than other Linux distros -- as if to say "Look at me, I am not Linux and I am not windows. I have giant buttons like a child toy and will hold your hand all the way to the bank."
So you can get Linspire. You can forfeit access to all windows software while at the same time not gain the robust flexibility of Linux. And if that's not cool enough for you, it was horrendously unstable. The only thing you get is the ability to brag to your idiotic windows using friends (I think that's what all Linspire users think of windows users) that you use linux. Of course, if you're at all perceptive you'll realize you shouldn't mention which distro you're using to anyone but fellow Linspire users. Because real Linux users will know you're an idiot; and windows users will know you're a fraud. Yes: I passionately hate them. I uber hate them. I passionately uber hate them!
At this point in my story, however, I didn't passionately uber hate them. I was just disappointed and not fond of them. So I canceled my click and run subscription, wiped the Linspire partitions to put something useful on there and believed that was it. Click and RUN!!!
Alas. The next billing cycle came around and I was charged despite my having canceled it. I was unimpressed but still reasonable. It took a lengthy correspondence with support, but eventually I got my money back and was assured that I wasn't scheduled for rebilling. My relationship with them was seemingly concluded. Click and RUN!!!
Alas. The next billing cycle came around and I was charged despite my having canceled and having been reassured I wouldn't be rebilled. This time, I was unable to negotiate a refund. As far as they were concerned, I was using CNR, demanding refunds and thereby getting a free ride. My insistence that they check records to see I wasn't logging in, wasn't downloading were to no avail. They didn't care that the operating system no longer existed on my computer or that I was no longer using it or that it was disabled in my account and should not, under any circumstances, be rebilled. They didn't care. I was forced to cancel that card to prevent future billing. I believed, finally, it would be the end of my relationship with them. Click and RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!
Alas. Every couple weeks I would receive their newsletter--much like Click and Run, I disabled it in my account. And still it kept coming to the same e-mail address. I tried going through support to get them stopped, and despite the support personnel assuring me my e-mail address wasn't subscribed, I continued to receive their e-mails. This battle between them and me continued on--continues to this day! I realize I could manually create a filter to reject these e-mails, but I shouldn't have to! When I say stop, they should stop! They must stop! They will not stop! The headers all indicate the messages are being sent to the e-mail address I am attempting to removing, but the message body always says <> in place of my e-mail address. (This message has been sent to <>) -- They can't even get THAT right. Each time I receive their e-mail, I try to log in to my account to double check that I shouldn't receive their e-mails. But EVERY time I do, I get the same message:
Yowza! Looks like we're quite popular right now, and our servers are experience a very high volume so we can't process your request presently. We apologize for the inconvenience, but please try again a little later. .
So self-important! Oh, so popular! It's probably other desperate schmucks like me trying to turn off their compulsory e-mail messages!! Everything about them is self-important, idiotic and broken. (I should mention, they even fail on the ellipses: it should be three dots, not two!) Oh how I hate them, how I passionately uber hate them.
If I lived closer to their headquarters--or if ever I am passing through--I would handle this like the descendent of an ape that I am, I would show my disdain and make my territorial claim. Each time I received their self-important newsletter (sometimes as often as weekly, usually two to three weeks) I would walk into their offices and piss on their rugs. Obviously they do not respond to a civilized approach.
I'm starting to feel like Milton from office space. "I'll set the building on fire... "
Tonight, having exhausted every civilized avenue, I decided to e-fling poo. I'll continue to e-fling poo until they leave me alone.
Spoiler
You idiotic spamming sons of bitches, yet ANOTHER newsletter has dripped from your incompetent cunts into my inbox. I explicitly unsubscribed through my account interface and I have been "assured" countless times by support that my address has been removed, and yet I continue to receive your self-important, meaningless ass residue excuse for a newsletter in my inbox. MAKE THEM STOP! Is it really necessary to excrete your shit all over my inbox every fucking week despite my pleas for reprieve? STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!
I do not want to receive your newsletter. Do not send it to crepe [at] jarday.com
I do not want to receive your newsletter. Do not send it to crepe [at] jarday.com
(This line was repeated 101 times.)
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