1.  For a rational judge to overturn the frivolous paternity suits against me.  All twenty of them.

2.  For some direction from God.  God knows what happens when left to my own devices (see #1 above).

3.  Martha Stewart's Playboy debut, before Hef kicks the bucket.

4.  An anti-priapism pill.  An effective anti-priapism pill.  Not one which gives out 20 minutes before the end of your presentation at the podium, in front of 200 women's rights activists.

5.  For some balance in my life.  Instead of coding half looped on tequila, maybe a glass of red wine before I begin, and a glass afterwards, if I manage 5 minutes of work.  Champagne, if the code itself works.

6.  To be a positive role model for youngsters thinking about becoming a programmer.

7.  For Microsoft to stick to one OS naming convention, instead of deferring to marketing types who'd name their own sons Johnson&Johnson Smith if they thought they could get away with it.

 ;) :drinksmiley:

I don't think your tasks are as simple as they might seem, but there is a commercial product which can easily handle all of them:  Textpipe  However, it's expensive and has a relatively steep learning curve (read: how familiar are you with regular expressions?).  My suggestion: if your task at hand is a 'one shot deal' (read: only needs to be done once and that's it), then go for the excellent solutions offered here.  If not, consider the onetime purchase of Textpipe an investment which will pay off in spades if you're planning on doing more text manipulation work in the future.  (And, no, I'm not affiliated with them whatsoever; I'm just a customer.)   

I think you're right about "Reader Drivers and Utilities" being a card reader driver.  I haven't tried this app yet, but as a computer tech you might want to give it a peak:  http://www.drivershq.com/Home.aspx (The price is listed as $39.95 US, but discounted down to $29.95 US as of this post.)