I know all about the desperation that comes from trying to get others to do things!

-Darwin (February 07, 2010, 01:24 PM)

Managed it quite well with Sarah, you sly devil!  ;)

-cranioscopical (February 07, 2010, 02:08 PM)

Cranio,
Your deliverance of my social naiveté was hardly necessary...
You don't have to dig too deep to see how few of these clever skills I actually possess.
Otherwise, why would I succumb to to the temptation to buy these books in the first place?

I'm reading Full Catastrophe Living.
It's boring, but thankfully it came with a very effective class I took, recently: Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR).

I'm also reading 2 David Lieberman books which have titles too embarrassing to post - which is too bad, because they're simply about human nature, & how to turn bad (or potentially bad) situations around. Each book has a chapter on a certain dilemma - how to make people feel more empowered, stop gossiping, get into a better mood, feel more confident, etc. Another book is based more on groups & how to get people to get along with each other, stop jealous behavior & verbal abuse, cultivate respect for themselves & one another, help each other out, etc. They're quick, easy reads that attempt to simplify complicated situations or destructive behavior between people - even difficult people - all without hurting anyone, or being secretly, selfishly manipulative.

I think it's good info for people like myself, who enjoy very much getting along with others, but who've found themselves holding back constructive empathy or helpfulness out of fear (or experience) of getting taken advantage of, later on. Perhaps these quick solutions can help others like myself promote harmonious relationships, and express kindness and caring, while still being heard and respected.

(Sorry, it's late. I guess that could've been worded a little better, huh?)

Good night!!!  :)

Exactly, y0himba, but I don't need a corporation telling me to go buy something from them as a substitute for my feelings. I can express those anytime and how many times I want, without their guilt-sanctioned reminders that if I don't do something special on that particular day, I'm the bad guy.

-zridling (January 21, 2010, 11:10 AM)

Valentine's Day really does mean nothing to some people. Many people share your opinion.
As long as both people feel the same way, that's great.

But, if it means anything to a loved one, even if it's only because of stupid social pressures, who cares about commercialism or corporate greed?

In my twenties & thirties, I watched flowers being delivered to my co-workers. Year after year.
But I never once got flowers or a card from my former long-time boyfriend. He cared more about the evils of Hallmark than my feelings.
He knew how much I would have appreciated just a simple card, not to mention flowers, like the other girls at work.
But, it was the whole day he resented, and he just couldn't seem to get past it. Weak.
I guess he loved me, but this was not a good example of it.

If you don't like Valentine's Day, but your loved one does, a selfless, loving gesture would be to drop your politics, give them a little something (flowers, card, whatever) & make their day. You might even end up getting a special surprise, too  ;) .
Granted, it is on the day you may be expected to show love, but other than that, I don't see any harm in it :) .