Investing in tomorrow's technology today is more critical than ever... - Bill Gates Any fool can use a computer. Many do. - Ted Nelson UNIX was not designed to stop its users from doing stupid things, as that would also stop them from doing clever things. - Doug Gwyn Live is too short to run proprietary software - Bdale Garbee One of my most productive days was throwing away 1000 lines of code. - Ken Thompson The three chief virtues of a programmer are: Laziness, Impatience and Hubris. - Larry Wall Programming: when the ideias turn into the real things - Maciej Kaczmarek Software engineering is the part of computer science which is too difficult for the computer scientist. - Friedrich Bauer The last bug isn't fixed until the last user is dead. - Sidney Markowitz If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. - Edsger W. Dijkstra All of my friends who have younger siblings who are going to college or high school - my number one piece of advice is: You should learn how to program. Mark Zuckerberg A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to the irrelevant. - Alan Perlis Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray. - Samuel T. Redwine, Jr. Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. - Bill Gates The danger of computers becoming like humans is not nearly as great as that of humans becoming like computers. - Konrad Zuse Programming is the art of writing essays in crystal clear prose and making them executable. - Per Brinch Hansen As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. - Maurice Wilkes Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer. Art is everything else we do. - Donald Knuth The computer is incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid. Man is incredibly slow, inaccurate, and brilliant. The marriage of the two is a force beyond calculation. - Leo Cherne When in doubt, use brute force. - Ken Thompson hello, world - Brian Kernighan Your potential. Our passion -Microsoft The Power to be your best -Apple Soon there will be 2 kinds of people. Those who use computers, and those who use Apples -Apple Think Different -Apple Think. -IBM Making it all make sense -Microsoft Take Toshiba, Take the World. -Toshiba Solutions for a small planet -IBM The computer for the rest of us. -Apple Get more out of now -Dell We Make IT Happen -IBM Acer. We hear you. -Acer Think outside the box. -Apple Empowering People. -Acer Easy as Dell -Dell Where do you want to go today? -Microsoft I think therefore IBM -IBM Choose Freedom -Toshiba Dell. Purely You. -Dell Be direct -Dell Macintosh. It Does More. It Costs Less. It’s that Simple. -Apple IBM. Computers help people help people -IBM It will free man from his remaining chains, the chains of gravity which still tie him to this planet. It will open to him the gates of heaven. Wernher Von Braun Quotes Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. Edward Shepherd Mead Quotes The digital revolution is far more significant than the invention of writing or even of printing. Douglas Engelbart Quotes Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully. Graham Greene Quotes For my confirmation, I didn't get a watch and my first pair of long pants, like most Lutheran boys. I got a telescope. My mother thought it would make the best gift. Wernher Von Braun Quotes Science is the tool of the Western mind and with it more doors can be opened than with bare hands. It is part and parcel of our knowledge and obscures our insight only when it holds that the understanding given by it is the only kind there is. . -C.G. Jung. C.g. Jung Quotes The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I've found it!), but 'That's funny...' -Isaac Asimov. Isaac Asimov Quotes I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians. Alexander the Great Quotes Innovators are inevitably controversial. Eva Le Gallienne Quotes 640K ought to be enough for anybody. Bill Gates Quotes Get your ideas on paper and study them. Do not let them go to waste! Les Brown Quotes Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk? Anonymous Quotes This problem, too, will look simple after it is solved. Charles Francis Kettering Quotes I assert that the cosmic religious experience is the strongest and the noblest driving force behind scientific research. Albert Einstein Quotes It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. Albert Einstein Quotes Intel has announced its next chip: the Repentium. Anonymous Quotes Art and science have their meeting point in method. Paul Dirac Quotes It has always seemed to me extreme presumptuousness on the part of those who want to make human ability the measure of what nature can and knows how to do, since, when one comes down to it, there is not one effect in nature, no matter how small, that even the most speculative minds can fully understand. -Galileo Galilei. Galileo Galilei Quotes The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. Sydney J. Harris Quotes Each problem that I solved became a rule, which served afterwards to solve other problems. Rene Descartes Quotes People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. David H Comins Quotes The great tragedy of science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. Thomas H. Huxley Quotes A satellite has no conscience. Edward R. Murrow Quotes The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves; most things, in fact, are better in the morning. Lewis Thomas Quotes Why shouldn't a PC work like a refrigerator or a toaster? Walter Mossberg Quotes Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. Clifford Stoll Quotes The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. John Perry Barlow Quotes In Cyberspace, the First Amendment is a local ordinance. John Perry Barlow Quotes You do not know our culture, our ethics, or the unwritten codes that already provide our society more order than could be obtained by any of your impositions. John Perry Barlow Quotes It may not always be profitable at first for businesses to be online, but it is certainly going to be unprofitable not to be online. Esther Dyson Quotes I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. Stephen W. Hawking Quotes We've arranged a civilization in which most crucial elements profoundly depend on science and technology. Carl Sagan Quotes When computers (people) are networked, their power multiplies geometrically. Not only can people share all that information inside their machines, but they can reach out and instantly tap the power of other machines (people), essentially making the entire network their computer. Peter Drucker -Scott McNeely. Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of imagination. John Dewey Quotes Everything that can be invented has been invented. Charles H. Duell Quotes In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. 'doc' Edgerton Quotes The great tragedy of science -- the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. Thomas Huxley Quotes There is one thing even more vital to science than intelligent methods; and that is, the sincere desire to find out the truth, whatever it may be. Charles Sanders Pierce Quotes Nothing has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and truly all that comes under thy observation in life. Marcus Aurelius Quotes Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. Russell Baker Quotes I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. James H. Boren Quotes Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. Wernher Von Braun Quotes If an elderly but distinguished scientist says that something is possible, he is almost certainly right; but if he says that it is impossible, he is very probably wrong. Arthur C. Clarke Quotes Like the furtive collectors of stolen art, we [cell biologists] are forced to be lonely admirers of spectacular architecture, exquisite symmetry, dramas of violence and death, mobility, self-sacrifice and, yes, rococo sex. Lorraine Lee Cudmore Quotes The facts of the present won't sit still for a portrait. They are constantly vibrating, full of clutter and confusion. Macneile Dixon Quotes Polygraph tests are 20th-century witchcraft. Sam Ervin Quotes Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them. Martin Henry Fischer Quotes It's going to be a bummer if Mars turns out to be like us. Newt Gingrich Quotes A science is any discipline in which the fool of this generation can go beyond the point reached by the genius of the last generation. Max Gluckman Quotes In science, "fact" can only mean "confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent." I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen Jay Gould Quotes You cannot feed the hungry on statistics. Heinrich Heine Quotes Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground floor. Oliver Wendell Holmes Quotes Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic. Thomas H. Huxley Quotes We are born at a given moment, in a given place and, like vintage years of wine, we have the qualities of the year and of the season of which we are born. Astrology does not lay claim to anything more. Carl Gustav Jung Quotes People think of the inventor as a screwball, but no one ever asks the inventor what he thinks of other people. Charles F. Kettering Quotes It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young. Konrad Lorenz Quotes Anyone who attempts to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course, living in a state of sin. John Von Neumann Quotes Facts are the air of scientists. Without them you can never fly. Linus Pauling Quotes For NASA, space is still a high priority. Dan Quayle Quotes In a manner which matches the fortuity, if not the consequence, of Archimedes' bath and Newton's apple, the 3.6 million year old fossil footprints were eventually noticed one evening in September 1976 by the paleontologist Andrew Hill, who fell while avoiding a ball of elephant dung hurled at him by the ecologist David Western. John Reader Quotes I believe in general in a dualism between facts and the ideas of those facts in human heads. George Santayana Quotes Adventure upon all the tickets in the lottery, and you lose for certain; and the greater the number of your tickets the nearer your approach to this certainty. Adam Smith Quotes The science of today is the technology of tomorrow. Edward Teller Quotes The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from Science, along with behaviour control, genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers. Lewis Thomas Quotes The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. Paul Valery Quotes We're all living in a chemical soup. Lance A. Wallace Quotes Take young researchers, put them together in virtual seclusion, give them an unprecedented degree of freedom and turn up the pressure by fostering competitiveness. James D. Watson Quotes In physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you. Frank Wilczek Quotes Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding. Louis Gerstner Quotes To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. Robert Orben Quotes Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy Rooney Quotes I am a hard-core believer that the clean desktop is the way to go... At the same time, we told OEMs that if they were going to put a bunch of icons on the desktop, then so were we. Jim Allchin Quotes Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. John Perry Barlow Quotes Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. Ambrose Bierce Quotes Through the magic of motion pictures, someone who's never left Peoria knows the softness of a Paris spring, the color of a Nile sunset, the sorts of vegetation one will find along the upper Amazon and that Big Ben has not yet gone digital. \nVincent Canby Quotes There never was a chip, it is said, that Bill Gates couldn't slow down with a new batch of features. \nJames Coates Quotes The internet is a great way to get on the net. Bob Dole Quotes Encryption...is a powerful defensive weapon for free people. It offers a technical guarantee of privacy, regardless of who is running the government... It's hard to think of a more powerful, less dangerous tool for liberty. Esther Dyson Quotes Leaders have to act more quickly today. The pressure comes much faster. Andy Grove Quotes I find sitting at a specially equipped desk in front of some pretty ugly plastics and staring at a little window is a very unnatural event. Harold Hambrose Quotes One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. Elbert Hubbard Quotes Ours is the age which is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to. Howard Mumford Jones Quotes Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. Mitchell Kapor Quotes The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. Alan Kay Quotes I think complexity is mostly sort of crummy stuff that is there because it's too expensive to change the interface. Jaron Lanier Quotes We're making a major move of the Internet, and runway.polo.com is a natural extension of both polo.com and our collection business. Ralph Lauren Quotes The only thing that I'd rather own than Windows is English, because then I could charge you two hundred and forty-nine dollars for the right to speak it. Scott McNealy Quotes If you walked into Netscape headquarters with a plain old modem from CompUSA they'd think it was a garage-door opener. Walter Mossberg Quotes The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it. Edward R. Murrow Quotes We are the children of a technological age. We have found streamlined ways of doing much of our routine work. Printing is no longer the only way of reproducing books. Reading them, however, has not changed... Lawrence Clark Powell Quotes The Internet's been so great, and it's so nice to have fans do nice, elaborate websites, but I think the downside is some of the things... for real fans to go on and see that 90 percent of the information isn't true or to see pictures that aren't really me, or for them to be able to sell these things, that's one of the downsides, I think. Denise Richards Quotes The cell phone has transformed public places into giant phone-a-thons in which callers exist within narcissistic cocoons of private conversations. Like faxes, computer modems and other modern gadgets that have clogged out lives with phony urgency, cell phones represent the 20th Century's escalation of imaginary need. We didn't need cell phones until we had them. Clearly, cell phones cause not only a breakdown of courtesy, but the atrophy of basic skills. Mary Schmich Quotes Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. Carrie P. Snow Quotes The research rat of the future allows experimentation without manipulation of the real world. This is the cutting edge of modeling technology. John Spencer Quotes Spending an evening on the World Wide Web is much like sitting down to a dinner of Cheetos, two hours later your fingers are yellow and you're no longer hungry, but you haven't been nourished. Clifford Stoll Quotes Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems. Linus Torvalds Quotes A friend called me up the other day and talked about investing in a dot-com that sells lobsters. Internet lobsters. Where will this end? The next day he sent me a huge package of lobsters on ice. How low can you stoop? Donald Trump Quotes The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs. Joseph Weizenbaum Quotes Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking of them. Alfred North Whitehead Quotes You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine. Flip Wilson Quotes Learning how to access a continuity of common sense can be one of your most efficient accomplishments in this decade. Can you imagine "common sense" surpassing science and technology in the quest to unravel the human stress mess? In time, society will have a new measure for confirming truth. It's inside the people-not at the mercy of current scientific methodology. Let scientists facilitate discovery, but not invent your inner truth. -Doc Childre. Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality. -Carl Sagan. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. -Paul Dirac. May every young scientist remember... and not fail to keep his eyes open for the possibility that an irritating failure of his apparatus to give consistent results may once or twice in a lifetime conceal an important discovery. -Patrick Blackett. All science is either physics or stamp collecting. -E. Rutherford. Scientists are the easiest to fool. They think in straight, predictable, directable, and therefore misdirectable, lines. The only world they know is the one where everything has a logical explanation and things are what they appear to be. Children and conjurors - they terrify me. Scientists are no problem; against them I feel quite confident. -James P. Hogan. Technology... the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it. -Max Frisch. Technology is destructive only in the hands of people who do not realize that they are one and the same process as the universe. -Alan Watts. A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it. Max Planck Quotes Science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know. Bertrand Russell Quotes What is more difficult, to think of an encampment on the moon or of Harlem rebuilt? Both are now within the reach of our resources. Both now depend upon human decision and human will. Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes It is much better to have your gold in the hand than in the heart. Thomas Fuller Quotes Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one. Alain Chartier Quotes An idea is the only level which moves the world. Arthur F. Corey Quotes Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. Rob Stampfli Quotes The NeXT Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe. Anonymous Quotes What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator. Anonymous Quotes Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad. Anonymous Quotes Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_|. Anonymous Quotes If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. Anonymous Quotes Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. Anonymous Quotes All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. Anonymous Quotes Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window. Anonymous Quotes If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...? Anonymous Quotes Our sun is one of 100 billion stars in our galaxy. Our galaxy is one of billions of galaxies populating the universe. It would be the height of presumption to think that we are the only living things in that enormous immensity. Wernher Von Braun Quotes Whenever anyone says, 'theoretically,' they really mean, 'not really.'. Dave Parnas Quotes The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m sec sec. Marcus Dolengo Quotes It's impossible to move, to live, to operate at any level without leaving traces, bits, seemingly meaningless fragments of personal information. William Gibson Quotes The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty, and all forms of human life. John F. Kennedy Quotes That's the nature of researchyou don't know what in hell you're doing. -'Doc' Edgerton. 'doc' Edgerton Quotes The secret of science is to ask the right question, and it is the choice of problem more than anything else that marks the man of genius in the scientific world. Sir Henry Tizard Quotes There is no adequate defense, except stupidity, against the impact of a new idea. P. W. Bridgman Quotes Every new idea is an impossibility until it is born. Ron Brown Quotes It doesn't matter how new an idea is: what matters is how new it becomes. Elias Canetti Quotes Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. Albert Gyorgyi Quotes The two best physicians of them all -- Dr. Laughter and Dr. Sleep. Gregory Dean Jr. Quotes What is research, but a blind date with knowledge. William Henry Quotes That thou seest, man, become too thou must; God, if thou seest God, dust, if thou seest dust. Brother Angelus Quotes However far modern science and techniques have fallen short of their inherent possibilities, they have taught mankind at least one lesson: Nothing is impossible. Lewis Mumford Quotes Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read. Ken Iverson Quotes I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like a black mistake. Mark Leeper Quotes Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have people all across the country know about it. Michael Meissner Quotes In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to. Jerry Olson Quotes Disclaimer - These opiini^H^H damn! ^H^H ^Q ^[ .... :w :q :wq :wq! ^d X ^? exit X Q ^C ^? :quitbye CtrlAltDel ~~q :~q logout save/quit :!QUIT ^[zz ^[ZZZZZZ ^H man vi ^ ^L ^[c ^# ^E ^X ^I ^T ? help helpquit ^D ^d man help ^C ^c help ?Quit ?q CtrlShftDel"Hey, what does this button d... B. F. Skinner Quotes An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. General Omar Bradley Quotes I have a spelling checkerIt came with my PC;It plainly marks four my revueMistakes I cannot sea.I've run this poem threw it,I'm sure your pleased too no,Its letter perfect in it's weigh,My checker tolled me sew. Janet Minor Quotes Everything that can be invented, has been invented. - 1899. Charles H. Duell Quotes Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of imagination. - The Quest for Certainty. John Dewey Quotes The dedicated physician is constantly striving for a balance between personal, human values, scientific realities and the inevitabilities of God's will. Dr. David Allman Quotes The important thing in science is not so much to obtain new facts as to discover new ways of thinking about them. Sir William Bragg Quotes Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution. Jay Leno Quotes When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research. Wilson Mizner Quotes Anybody who has been seriously engaged is scientific work of any kind realizes that over the entrance to the gates of the temple of science are written the words: 'Ye must have faith.'. Maxwell Planck Quotes Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men. Jean Rostand Quotes Surgery is the red flower that blooms among the leaves and thorns that are the rest of medicine. Dr. Richard Selzer Quotes Gates is the ultimate programming machine. He believes everything can be defined, examined, reduced to essentials, and rearranged into a logical sequence that will achieve a particular goal. Stewart Alsop Quotes I'm projecting somewhere between 100 million and 200 million computers [on the Net] by the end of December 2000, and about 300 million users by that same time. Vinton Cerf Quotes The Internet is like a giant jellyfish. You can't step on it. You can't go around it. You've got to get through it. John Evans Quotes Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. R. Buckminster Fuller Quotes It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. John Stuart Mill Quotes Before we work on artificial intelligence why don't we do something about natural stupidity? Steve Polyak Quotes Since the invention of the microprocessor, the cost of moving a byte of information around has fallen on the order of 10-million-fold. Never before in the human history has any product or service gotten 10 million times cheaper-much less in the course of a couple decades. That's as if a 747 plane, once at $150 million a piece, could now be bought for about the price of a large pizza. Michael Rothschild Quotes I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought was ten years away... it was already here. I just wasn't aware of it yet. Bruce Sterling Quotes Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. Larry Wall Quotes The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation. Oscar Wilde Quotes Science is simply common sense at its best--that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic. Thomas Huxley Quotes As nuclear and other technological achievements continue to mount, the normal life span will continue to climb. The hourly productivity of the worker will increase. Dwight D. Eisenhower Quotes Where there is the necessary technical skill to move mountains, there is no need for the faith that moves mountains. Eric Hoffer Quotes The way to do research is to attack the facts at the point of greatest astonishment. Celia Green Quotes It's very good for an idea to be commonplace. The important thing is that a new idea should develop out of what is already there so that it soon becomes an old acquaintance. Old acquaintances aren't by any means always welcome, but at least one can't be mistaken as to who or what they are. Penelope Fitzgerald Quotes As the births of living creatures, at first, are ill-shapen: so are all Innovations, which are the births of time. Francis Bacon Quotes So there he is at last. Man on the moon. The poor magnificent bungler! He can't even get to the office without undergoing the agonies of the damned, but give him a little metal, a few chemicals, some wire and twenty or thirty billion dollars and, vroom! there he is, up on a rock a quarter of a million miles up in the sky. Russell (wayne) Baker Quotes If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything. Anonymous Quotes Guide to understanding a net.addict's day: Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet. Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet. Bad day: barely squeezed in three hours of usenet. Anonymous Quotes Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. Anonymous Quotes The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty, and all forms of human life. - Inaugural Address. John Fitzgerald Kennedy Quotes An error is the more dangerous the more truth it contains. Henri-frederic Quotes What we know is not much; what we do not know is immense. Pierre Quotes A mask of gold hides all deformities. Thomas Dekker Quotes Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. Howard Aiken Quotes The idea is in my head to put it down is nothing. Milton Avery Quotes There are more ideas on earth than intellectuals imagine. And these ideas are more active, stronger, more resistant, more passionate than "politicians" think. We have to be there at the birth of ideas, the bursting outward of their force: not in books expressing them, but in events manifesting this force, in struggles carried on around ideas, for or against them. Ideas do not rule the world. But it is because the world has ideas... that it is not passively ruled by those who are its leaders or those who would like to teach it, once and for all, what it must think. Michel Foucault Quotes A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love. St. Basil Quotes Science and technology multiply around us. To an increasing extent they dictate the languages in which we speak and think. Either we use those languages, or we remain mute. J. G. Ballard Quotes Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on! Andrew Brown Quotes It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions. Thomas Henry Huxley Quotes When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. Lawrence J. Peter Quotes Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. Steve Wozniak Quotes Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true. Niels Bohr Quotes We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time capsules in order to give those people living in the next century or so some idea of what we are like. Alfred Hitchcock Quotes Science... never solves a problem without creating ten more. George Bernard Shaw Quotes Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Pablo Picasso Quotes Technology is so much fun but we can drown in our technology. The fog of information can drive out knowledge. Daniel J. Boorstin Quotes The most important and urgent problems of the technology of today are no longer the satisfactions of the primary needs or of archetypal wishes, but the reparation of the evils and damages by the technology of yesterday. Dennis Gabor Quotes The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it. William Gibson Quotes I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours. John F. Kennedy Quotes Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. E. F. Schumacker Quotes When the lay public rallies round to an idea that is denounced by distinguished by elderly scientists and supports the idea with great fervour and emotion, the distinguished but elderly scientests are then, after all, right. -Isaac Asimov. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. Mitch Ratliffe Quotes It is not always possible to know what one has learned, or when the dawning will arrive. You will continue to shift, sift, to shake out and to double back. The synthesis that finally occurs can be in the most unexpected place and the most unexpected time. My charge ... is to be alert to the dawnings. Virginia B. Smith Quotes You have to hatch ideas -- and then hitch them. Ray D. Everson Quotes One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. Walter Bagehot Quotes If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. Guy Almes Quotes If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it. Rory Bremner Quotes Theory provides the maps that turn an uncoordinated set of experiments or computer simulations into a cumulative exploration. David Goldberg Quotes Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead Quotes The coming of the printing press must have seemed as if it would turn the world upside down in the way it spread and, above all, democratized knowledge. Provide you could pay and read, what was on the shelves in the new bookshops was yours for the taking. The speed with which printing presses and their operators fanned out across Europe is extraordinary. From the single Mainz press of 1457, it took only twenty-three years to establish presses in 110 towns: 50 in Ita!0 in Germany, 9 in France, 8 in Spain, 8 in Holland, 4 in England, and so on. James E. Burke Quotes If you get hung up on everybody else's hang-ups, then the whole world's going to be nothing more than one huge gallows. Richard Brautigan Quotes The consequences of things are not always proportionate to the apparent magnitude of those events that have produced them. Thus the American Revolution, from which little was expected, produced much; but the French Revolution, from which much was expected, produced little. Charles Caleb Colton Quotes Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. M. C. Reed Quotes Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. John Von Neuman Quotes The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'. Isaac Asimov Quotes What is a scientist after all? It is a curious man looking through a keyhole, the keyhole of nature, trying to know what's going on. Jacques Cousteau Quotes From now on we live in a world where man has walked on the Moon. It's not a miracle; we just decided to go. Tom Hanks Quotes There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. Mark Twain Quotes We like to test things... no matter how good an idea sounds, test it first. Henry Block Quotes By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost a fortune to maintain and is still in danger of collapsing. There are no plans to replace it, since it was never needed in the first place. I expect every installation has its own pet software which is analogous to the above. Guy Kawasaki Quotes Form follows function. - "Lippincott's Magazine", March, 1896. Louis Henri Sullivan Quotes If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Essays, 1625. Francis Bacon Quotes Science is nothing but perception. Plato Quotes The tools we use have a profound (and devious!) influence on our thinking habits, and, therefore, on our thinking abilities. Edsgar W. Dijkstra Quotes Men have become the tools of their tools. John Tudor Quotes FORTRAN --'the infantile disorder'--, by now nearly 20 years old, is hopelessly inadequate for whatever computer application you have in mind today: it is now too clumsy, too risky, and too expensive to use. PL/I --'the fatal disease'-- belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set. It is practically impossible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offence. APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection. It is the language of the future for the programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation of coding bums. Edsgar W. Dijkstra Quotes About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead. Edsgar W. Dijkstra Quotes Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing... you are talking about the Internet, you are talking about cell phones, you are talking about computers. This doesn't affect two-thirds of the people of the world. Jimmy Carter Quotes URLs are the 800 numbers of the 1990's. Chris Clark Quotes The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. Joseph Snipp Quotes People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'. Dave Barry Quotes The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little. Porterfield Quotes When I investigate and when I discover that the forces of the heavens and the planets are within ourselves, then truly I seem to be living among the gods. Leon Battista Alberti Quotes Touch a scientist and you touch a child. Ray Bradbury Quotes Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science. Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Isaac Asimov Quotes Sites need to be able to interact in one single, universal space. Tim Berners-lee Quotes The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency. Bill Gates Quotes The atom, being for all practical purposes the stable unit of the physical plane, is a constantly changing vortex of reactions. -Unknown. Unknown Quotes The atom, being for all practical purposes the stable unit of the physical plane, is a constantly changing vortex of reactions. -Unknown. Unknown Quotes It stands to the everlasting credit of science that by acting on the human mind it has overcome man's insecurity before himself and before nature. Albert Einstein Quotes ...there is no prescribed route to follow to arrive at a new idea. You have to make the intuitive leap. But the difference is that once you've made the intuitive leap you have to justify it by filling in the intermediate steps. In my case, it often happens that I have an idea, but then I try to fill in the intermediate steps and find that they don't work, so I have to give it up. Stephen W. Hawking Quotes We are governed not by armies, but by ideas. Mona Caird Quotes The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. Ernest Rutherford Quotes The process of scientific discovery is, in effect, a continual flight from wonder. Albert Einstein Quotes Man's fear of ideas is probably the greatest dike holding back human knowledge and happiness. Morris L. Ernst Quotes INNOVATION is the process of turning ideas into manufacturable and marketable form. Watts Humprey Quotes If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice. George Gobel Quotes Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and believing you've witnessed the second coming. D. H. Lawrence Quotes If unix is the face of the future I wanna go back to quill pens. Gene Spafford Quotes Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares, assess randomization, statistical significance, and standard deviations is less than illiterate; he is preconscious. Robert A. Humphrey Quotes Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. Edsgar W. Dijkstra Quotes The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. Nathaniel Borenstein Quotes If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. Robert X Cringely Quotes Always design a thing by considering it in its next larger context -- a chair in a room, a room in a house, a house in an environment, an environment in a city plan. - "Time", July 2, 1956. Eliel Saarinen Quotes One has to be able to count if only so that at fifty one doesn't marry a girl of twenty. - The Zykovs, 1914. Maxim Gorky Quotes For a smart material to be able to send out a more complex signal it needs to be nonlinear. If you hit a tuning fork twice as hard it will ring twice as loud but still at the same frequency. That's a linear response. If you hit a person twice as hard they're unlikely just to shout twice as loud. That property lets you learn more about the person than the tuning fork. - When Things Start to Think, 1999. Neil Gershenfeld Quotes It is useless to send armies against ideas. George Brandes Quotes Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind. Marston Bates Quotes Men who accomplish great things in the industrial world are the ones who have faith in the money producing power of ideas. Charles Fillmore Quotes Ideas are fatal to caste. Edward M. Forster Quotes Mankind always sets itself only such tasks as it can solve; since, looking at the matter more closely, we will always find that the task itself arises only when the material conditions necessary for its solution already exist or are at least in the process of formation. Karl Marx Quotes There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home. Jeff Raskin Quotes ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since mathematics, in its own way, also performs this function, it is not only aesthetically charming but profoundly significant. It is an art, and a great art. James Joseph Sylvester Quotes We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had the wrong idea at first, and so on. So there isn't any place to publish, in a dignified manner, what you actually did in order to get to do the work. Buckminster Fuller Quotes Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind. Mark Russell Quotes The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some don't.". Kelvin Throop Iii Quotes Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. Jeff Pesis Quotes As crude a weapon as a cave man's club, the chemical barrage has been hurled against the fabric of life. Rachel Carson Quotes You know you've achieved perfection in design, Not when you have nothing more to add, But when you have nothing more to take away. Antoine de Saint-Exupery Quotes If you want to get across an idea, wrap it up in a person. Ralph Bunche Quotes The great work must inevitably be obscure, except to the very few, to those who like the author himself are initiated into the mysteries. Communication then is secondary: it is perpetuation which is important. For this only one good reader is necessary. Henry Miller Quotes Always the more beautiful answer who asks the more beautiful question. Ee Cummings Quotes I have offended God and mankind because my work didn't reach the quality it should have. Leonardo da Vinci Quotes Thinking is the hardest work there is. Which is the probable reason why so few engage in it. Henry Ford Quotes A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity. Albert Einstein Quotes Simplicity is the final achievement. After one has played a vast quantity of notes and more notes, it is simplicity that emerges as the crowning reward of art. Chopin Quotes The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. Anonymous Quotes Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world. Archimedes Quotes The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and human stupidity. Unknown Quotes The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and human stupidity. Unknown Quotes Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein Quotes Online Friends \nI love my computer because my friends live in it. Check your Emails, Text messages, Facebook, MySpace, to stay in touch with your friends? This design on T-Shirts & Products. \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts Just give me a second, I'm processing. Funny computer humor on our Tees & Gifts. \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts Hooked On The Internet? \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts Help is Just a Click Away! - Ironic funny statement/quote on our apparels and products. \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts A clean house is a sure sign... .. of a broken down computer. - On T-shirts, shirts, bags, fridge magnets, and stickers. \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts Internet trust \nIt's people like you who make the Internet impossible to trust! - Choose between two different font / text on our apparels and products. \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts coffee.exe is missing... \nCOFFEE.EXE is missing. Insert cup and press any key. - Computer humor for coffee addicts on Shirts, T-Shirts, Mugs, Bags, and Stickers. \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts Internet's 3 R's \nReflect, Repent and Reboot. You've all had Windows crash on you and this is why these 3 R's comes as a handy tool to keep your sanity. \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts Computer Virus \nMy Computer Thinks I'm a Virus. - T-shirts, shirts, mugs, calendars, tile coasters, mousepads, magnets, buttons, stickers, and more! \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts King Of Chat \nDo you or anyone you know spend hours in a chat room? This is a great gift for any addicted chatters or anyone who really loves to chat online or offline. \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts Queen Of Chat \nDo you or anyone you know spend hours in a chat room? This is a great gift for any addicted chatters or anyone who really loves to chat online or offline. \nComputer & Internet Humor on T-shirts & Gifts I should prefer to have a politician who regularly went to a massage parlour than one who promised a laptop computer for every teacher. - A. N. Wilson There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about. It's a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you 'play' with them! - Richard P. Feynman Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. - The Power of Myth , Joseph Campbell Personally, I rather look forward to a computer program winning the world chess championship. Humanity needs a lesson in humility. - Richard Dawkins You know, the Internets made us more aware of what people think about us. - Robert Smith No computer, no gadget, no trickery. I am an animal, it is a plant. I will beat the weed. - Matthew McConaughey I think that the online world has actually brought books back. People are reading because they're reading the damn screen. That's more reading than people used to do. - Bill Murray We believe that within five years, 96 percent of British consumers will have access to the Internet, whether it be through a personal computer, a set-top box or a mobile phone. - Richard Branson I got up with my wife, I sat down at the computer when she went to work, and I didn't stop until she got home. - George Stephen All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men. - Isaac Asimov Great computer hardware is only a doorstop without great software. - Charles King We believe opening hardware and software specs for Cell will likely expand interest in Power.org. - Charles King Man does not weave this web of life. He is merely a strand of it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself. - Chief Seattle Computer photography won't be photography as we know it. I think photography will always be chemical. - Annie Leibovitz Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting. - Bill Gates When you want to do your homework, fill out your tax return, or see all the choices for a trip you want to take, you need a full-size screen. - Bill Gates You see, antiquated ideas of kindness and generosity are simply bugs that must be programmed out of our world. And these cold, unfeeling machines will show us the way. - Bill Gates There are people who don't like capitalism, and people who don't like PCs. But there's no-one who likes the PC who doesn't like Microsoft. - Bill Gates I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. - Dave Barry A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips A graphic representation of data abstracted from the banks of every computer in the human system. Unthinkable complexity. Lines of light ranged in the non space of the mind, clusters and constellations of data. Like city lights, receding. - William Gibson The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it. - William Gibson If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would:nuclear war, global warming and Windows. - Dave Barry Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing... you are talking about the Internet, you are talking about cell phones, you are talking about computers. This doesn't affect two-thirds of the people of the world. Jimmy Carter A filmmaker has almost the same freedom as a novelist has when he buys himself some paper. - Stanley Kubrick Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith. - Henry Ward Beecher You know, the Internets made us more aware of what people think about us. - Robert Smith I think that the online world has actually brought books back. People are reading because they're reading the damn screen. That's more reading than people used to do. - Bill Murray I have an almost religious zeal... not for technology per se, but for the Internet which is for me, the nervous system of mother Earth, which I see as a living. - Dan Millman With 500 channels and the Internet available, you'd think a candidate could get the word out. - Larry King During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. - Al Gore I think anyone who uses the web is smart and will profit. - Jason Mraz Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting. - Bill Gates I think for a young journalist, it's better to write for the Web at the moment than it is for print. - Tina Brown I find I use the Internet more and more. It's just an invaluable tool. I do most of my research on the Net now - and certainly do the bulk of my communicating through email. - Nora Roberts First, our focus on security is on the infrastructure itself. So it is all about how you protect the network, the device, and the application that is riding on the server. - John W. Thompson There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on "Friends" is. - Jon Stewart Hollywood and the recording industry argue that current law permits the copying of songs and movies, and sharing them on the Internet. This enables young people to grow up learning how to steal - Suzanne Fields The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it. - William Gibson How lame do you have to be to spend your time like that on the Internet? Can't you do something more constructive, like surf the porn? Or go into the real world and interact with people rather than cyber-sniping. - Kevin Smith Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing... you are talking about the Internet, you are talking about cell phones, you are talking about computers. This doesn't affect two-thirds of the people of the world. - Jimmy Carter A lot of people think that the new economy is all about the internet. I think that it's being fueled by the internet - as well as by cell phones, digital assistants, and the like - but that it's really about customers. - Patricia Seybold I think almost every newspaper in the United States has lost circulation due to the Internet. I also think the Internet will lead to a lot of plagiarism in journalism. - Will McDonough A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn. - Dave Barry Capitalist production, therefore, develops technology, and the combining together of various processes into a social whole, only by sapping the original sources of all wealth - the soil and the labourer. - Karl Marx For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled. - Richard P. Feynman Animation can explain whatever the mind of man can conceive. This facility makes it the most versatile and explicit means of communication yet devised for quick mass appreciation. - Walt Disney I am not influenced by the techniques or fashions of any other motion picture company. - Walt Disney I think we're going to have to forget about the radio and just go back to word of mouth. - Joe Strummer Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. - R. Buckminster Fuller I just invent, then wait until man comes around to needing what I've invented. - R. Buckminster Fuller Technique is the test of sincerity. If a thing isn't worth getting the technique to say, it is of inferior value. - Ezra Pound Speed provides the one genuinely modern pleasure. - Aldous Huxley Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards. - Ends and Means , Aldous Huxley To turn really interesting ideas and fledgling technologies into a company that can continue to innovate for years, it requires a lot of disciplines. - Steve Jobs Technology is destructive only in the hands of people who do not realize that they are one and the same process as the universe. - Alan Watts Science and technology multiply around us. To an increasing extent they dictate the languages in which we speak and think. Either we use those languages, or we remain mute. - J. G. Ballard There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science. - Louis Pasteur Movie-making is telling a story with the best technology at your disposal. - Tom Hanks Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans. - Conan O\'Brien Television? The word is half Greek, half Latin. No good can come of it. - C. P. Scott We've arranged a civilization in which most crucial elements profoundly depend on science and technology. - Carl Sagan We are not intimidated by the size of the armies, or the type of hardware the US has brought. - Saddam Hussein I have seen the science I worshiped, and the aircraft I loved, destroying the civilization I expected them to serve. - Charles Lindbergh I think that the online world has actually brought books back. People are reading because they're reading the damn screen. That's more reading than people used to do. - Bill Murray I have an almost religious zeal... not for technology per se, but for the Internet which is for me, the nervous system of mother Earth, which I see as a living. - Dan Millman Every positive value has its price in negative terms... the genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima. - Pablo Picasso I asked a ref if he could give me a technical foul for thinking bad things about him. He said, of course not. I said, well, I think you stink. And he gave me a technical. You can't trust em. - Jim Valvano I love the freedom of movement that my phone gives me. That has definitely transformed my life. - Richard Branson If that's there, I believe that technology will probably step up to their part of it. - Neil Armstrong Our technological powers increase, but the side effects and potential hazards also escalate. - Alvin Toffler Twenty-five years ago, the notion was you could create a general problem-solver software that could solve problems in many different domains. That just turned out to be totally wrong. - Howard Gardner The spoken word was the first technology by which man was able to let go of his environment in order to grasp it in a new way. - Marshall McLuhan It is the framework which changes with each new technology and not just the picture within the frame. - Marshall McLuhan All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men. - Isaac Asimov Technological discoveries are the spermatozoa of social change. - C. L. R. James New technologies such as solar systems or hybrid cars aren't created overnight. By extending these tax credits we are giving this industry time to grow, branch out and succeed. - J. D. Hayworth Solar power is clean, renewable and cost effective, but it also needs time to develop. - J. D. Hayworth With 500 channels and the Internet available, you'd think a candidate could get the word out. - Larry King A lot of the work in United States is highly critical of technology. I'm using 15,000 watts of power and 18 different pieces of electronic equipment to say that. - Laurie Anderson A lot of power-pop comes out of LA, a lot of speed metal comes out of New York. - Layne Staley I think it was one of the greatest times ever in the world to play baseball. Television was in its infancy. Breaking the color barrier. - Jackie Robinson Science has to be understood in its broadest sense, as a method for comprehending all observable reality, and not merely as an instrument for acquiring specialized knowledge. - Alexis Carrel “Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.” Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely unnecessary to do before” I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.” Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages” I Like this quote I dislike this quote“My computer must be broken: whenever I ask a wrong question, it gives a wrong answer” Ashleigh Brilliant quotes (English Author and Cartoonist, b.1933) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.” Sydney J. Harris quotes (American Journalist and Author, He wrote a syndicated column, Strictly Personal, from 1944-86. 1917-1986) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone” I Like this quote I dislike this quote“To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.” Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Software is like sex: it's better when it's free.” Linus Torvalds quotes (Finnish Computer engineer and Programmer, creator of Linux. b.1969) Similar Quotes. About: Computers quotes, Software quotes. I Like this quote I dislike this quote“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” Emo Philips quotes “A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer” Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Computers quotes. I Like this quote I dislike this quote“And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)” Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Computers quotes, Scientists quotes. I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns” Mitch Ratcliffe quotes Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Computers quotes, Mistakes quotes. I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.” Joseph Campbell quotes (American prolific Author, Editor, Philosopher and Teacher, 1904-1987) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of (a) book as a kind of screen saver for your brain” Similar Quotes. About: Books quotes, Computers quotes. I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?” Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Computers quotes. I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding.” Louis Gerstner quotes I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.” Pablo Picasso quotes (Spanish Artist and Painter. 1881-1973) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind” Joseph Weizenbaum quotes I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Putting a computer in front of a child and expecting it to teach him is like putting a book under his pillow, only more expensive” Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Computers quotes, Teachers and teaching quotes. If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee - that will do them in” I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are” I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.” I Like this quote I dislike this quote“What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?” Marilyn Pittman quotes (American comedian) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.” Isaac Asimov quotes (Russian born American science-fiction Writer and Biochemist. 1920-1992) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.” John Fitzgerald Kennedy quotes (American 35th US President (1961-63), 1917-1963) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.” Robert Orben quotes (US magician and comedy writer, b. 1927) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.” Stephen Hawking quotes (English Physicist, b.1942) I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” Thomas J. Watson, Sr. quotes I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.” “Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.” I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft, and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor” Werner von Braun quotes Similar Quotes. About: Computers quotes, Men quotes. I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Beat the computer, program your life” Similar Quotes. About: Life quotes, Computers quotes. I Like this quote I dislike this quote“All computers wait at the same speed” I Like this quote I dislike this quote“A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable” Leslie Lamport quotes I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Never trust a computer which you cannot lift” Dave Boulton quotes I Like this quote I dislike this quote“If I had to sum up in a word what makes a good manager, I'd say decisiveness. You can use the fanciest computers to gather the numbers, but in the end you have to set a timetable and act.” Lee Iacocca quotes I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.” Eric Porterfield quotes I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window” I Like this quote I dislike this quote“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history-with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila” Mitch Ratcliffe quotes Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. Joseph Campbell I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.' Elayne Boosler Using social media to hurt and destroy is callous, acted out by cowards hiding behind computers. My advice is to ignore negativity. Focus on the love around. \nMartin Garrix Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. - Joseph Campbell Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F. Kennedy Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. - Edsger Dijkstra Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding. Louis V. Gerstner, Jr. What is Apple, after all? Apple is about people who think 'outside the box,' people who want to use computers to help them change the world, to help them create things that make a difference, and not just to get a job done. Steve Jobs Design is the fundamental soul of a man-made creation that ends up expressing itself in successive outer layers of the product or service. The iMac is not just the color or translucence or the shape of the shell. The essence of the iMac is to be the finest possible consumer computer in which each element plays together. Steve Jobs Computers themselves, and software yet to be developed, will revolutionize the way we learn. Steve Jobs A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips I think it's fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool we've ever created. They're tools of communication, they're tools of creativity, and they can be shaped by their user. Bill Gates I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark. Stephen Hawking The new information technology... Internet and e-mail... have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. Peter Drucker I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. - Isaac Asimov Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Picasso Computers don't create computer animation any more than a pencil creates pencil animation. What creates computer animation is the artist. John Lasseter The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do. Ted Nelson To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul R. Ehrlich We're entering a new world in which data may be more important than software. Tim O'Reilly Many of our own people here in this country do not ask about computers, telephones and television sets. They ask - when will we get a road to our village. Thabo Mbeki It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. Craig Bruce Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing... you are talking about the Internet, you are talking about cell phones, you are talking about computers. This doesn't affect two-thirds of the people of the world. Jimmy Carter The spread of computers and the Internet will put jobs in two categories. People who tell computers what to do, and people who are told by computers what to do. \nMarc Andreessen I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. \nStephen Hawking Because you have things like 'American Idol' and you've got radio stations that play music made entirely by computers, it's easy to forget there are bands with actual people playing actual instruments that rock. \nDave Grohl Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. \nIsaac Asimov Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. \nClifford Stoll So technologies, whether it is a telephone or an iPhone, computers in general or automobiles, television even, all individualize us. We all sit in front of our iPhones and communicating but are we really communicating? \nHenry Mintzberg I know when I grew up, it was, if it was daylight outside, get outside. Well, now, with the technological age of computers and everything, everyone's inside virtually going everywhere they want to go, virtually having relationships, virtually traveling across the neighborhood, virtually going to that island. \nMatthew McConaughey Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. \nDoug Larson Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living. \nNicholas Negroponte My goal wasn't to make a ton of money. It was to build good computers. \nSteve Wozniak Software comes from heaven when you have good hardware. \nKen Olsen The most used program in computers and education is PowerPoint. What are you learning about the nature of the medium by knowing how do to a great PowerPoint presentation? Nothing. It certainly doesn't teach you how to think critically about living in a culture of simulation. \nSherry Turkle Computers are to design as microwaves are to cooking. \nMilton Glaser Interactive computers and software will, I think, provide a less costly method of doing some kinds of inquiry, in knowledge acquisition and even reasoning and interaction. \nRoy Romer Google has placed its faith in data, while Apple worships the power of design. This dichotomy made the two companies complementary. Apple would ship the phones and computers, while Google would provide Maps, Search, YouTube, and other web tools that made the devices more useful. \nBen Parr Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you. \nPrince To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. \nRobert Orben I met Woz when I was 13, at a friend's garage. He was about 18. He was, like, the first person I met who knew more electronics than I did at that point. We became good friends, because we shared an interest in computers and we had a sense of humor. We pulled all kinds of pranks together. \nSteve Jobs For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writers' block, too. For a bit longer relaxation, I enjoy camping. Just being in the wilderness, with no phones or computers or anything I have to do really refreshes my spirit. \nEllen Hopkins A smartphone links patients' bodies and doctors' computers, which in turn are connected to the Internet, which in turn is connected to any smartphone anywhere. The new devices could put the management of an individual's internal organs in the hands of every hacker, online scammer, and digital vandal on Earth. \nCharles C. Mann In Hollywood, they think drawn animation doesn't work anymore, computers are the way. They forget that the reason computers are the way is that Pixar makes good movies. So everybody tries to copy Pixar. They're relying too much on the technology and not enough on the artists. \nTim Burton This is what customers pay us for - to sweat all these details so it's easy and pleasant for them to use our computers. We're supposed to be really good at this. That doesn't mean we don't listen to customers, but it's hard for them to tell you what they want when they've never seen anything remotely like it. \nSteve Jobs Technology has moved away from sharing and toward ownership. This suits software and hardware companies just fine: They create new, bloated programs that require more disk space and processing power. We buy bigger, faster computers, which then require more complex operating systems, and so on. \nDouglas Rushkoff I have always believed that technology should do the hard work - discovery, organization, communication - so users can do what makes them happiest: living and loving, not messing with annoying computers! That means making our products work together seamlessly. \nLarry Page By 2020, most home computers will have the computing power of a human brain. That doesn't mean that they are brains, but it means that in terms of raw processing, they can process bits as fast as a brain can. So the question is, how far behind that is the development of a machine that's as smart as we are? \nSeth Shostak As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, in real applications. \nDave Parnas What I was proud of was that I used very few parts to build a computer that could actually speak words on a screen and type words on a keyboard and run a programming language that could play games. And I did all this myself. \nSteve Wozniak Before computers, telephone lines and television connect us, we all share the same air, the same oceans, the same mountains and rivers. We are all equally responsible for protecting them. \nJulia Louis-Dreyfus There is a real danger that computers will develop intelligence and take over. We urgently need to develop direct connections to the brain so that computers can add to human intelligence rather than be in opposition. \nStephen Hawking A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind \nJoseph Weizenbaum Quotes Look at growth, look at how much time people spend on the Net and look at the variety of things that they are doing. It's all really good, so I am actually encouraged by the fundamentals that underlie usage growth on the Net. \nMeg Whitman Quotes The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little. \nPorterfield Quotes Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy Rooney Quotes Anyone who has lost track of time when using a computer knows the propensity to dream, the urge to make dreams come true and the tendency to miss lunch. Tim Berners Quotes It's called a pen. It's like a printer, hooked straight to my brain. Dale Dauten Quotes Putting a computer in front of a child and expecting it to teach him is like putting a book under his pillow, only more expensive. Anon. Quotes To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. Robert Orben Quotes There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer. J. H. Goldfuss Quotes Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns Mitch Ratcliffe Quotes A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer Dave Barry Quotes Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. Joseph Campbell Quotes After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of (a) book as a kind of screen saver for your brain Dan Castellaneta Quotes Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding. Louis Gerstner Quotes Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Pablo Picasso Quotes The computer is a moron. Peter F. Drucker Quotes Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding. Louis Gerstner Quotes The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. Sydney J. Harris Quotes Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. Doug Larson Quotes Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. Edward Shepherd Mead Quotes What do we want our kids to do? Sweep up around Japanese computers? Walter F. Mondale Quotes Why shouldn't a PC work like a refrigerator or a toaster? Walter Mossberg Quotes Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living. Nicholas Negroponte Quotes Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. Jeff Pesis Quotes A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. Mitch Ratcliffe Quotes They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction. Janet Reno Quotes Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us. Jean Rostand Quotes Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. Clifford Stoll Quotes Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. Steve Wozniak Quotes Web users ultimately want to get at data quickly and easily. They don't care as much about attractive sites and pretty design. Tim Berners Quotes It's time to reappreciate the original software: paper. Dale Dauten Quotes I want to put a ding in the universe. Steve Jobs Quotes Diamonds are forever. E-mail comes close. June Kronholz Quotes A system support specialist's life is a sorry one. The only advantage he has over ER doctors is that malpractice suits are rare. On the other hand, ER doctors never have to deal with patients installing new versions of their own innards! Dick Maliska Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. •Jeff Raskin Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw. •Anonymous The Programmer's Time-Space Continuum is defined as "Programmers continuously space the time." •Leon Lanthier Computers are useless - they only give you answers. •Pablo Picasso " Paradosfunctionoracle" is the term used by technicians to describe the reason no one knows why your computer won't work. •J. H. Goldfuss No machine will increase the possibilities of life. They only increase the possibilities of idleness. •John Ruskin All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. •Anonymous Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. •James Magary Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. •E W Dijkstra Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equpped with 18,000 vaccuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1 1/2 tons. •Popular Mechanics, 1949 Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. •Andy Rooney Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. •Edward Shepherd Mead A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. •John Gall There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convince them that our way is the way to go. •Bill Gates If you can't make it good, at least make it look good. •Bill Gates Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame. •MG Siriam Surfing on the Internet is like sex; everyone boasts about doing more than they actually do. But in the case of the Internet, it's a lot more. •Tom Fasulo Cyberspace: A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation. •William Gibson URLs are the 800 numbers of the 1990's. •Chris Clark My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. •Penn Jillett We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. •Robert Wilensky It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that the Internet has evolved into a force strong enough to reflect the greatest hopes and fears of those who use it. After all, it was designed to withstand nuclear war, not just the puny huffs and puffs of politicians and religious fanatics. •Denise Caruso Wow! They've got the internet on computers now! •Homer Simpson Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games. •Scott Adams I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them. •Isaac Asimov Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idoits. So far, the Universe is winning. •Rich Cook If automobiles had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. •Robert Cringely I try to get people to see what I have... When you run a computer company, you have to get people to buy into your dreams. •Steve Jobs The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little. •Porterfield People who buy Macs are the same people who said BETA is better than VHS 15 years ago. •Anonymous Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand. •Anonymous But in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the system, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed, analyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses. •Bruce Leverett Anybody who's studied software engineering knows that a schedule which underestimates the time needed to develop a project actually makes the project take longer. Jeff Raskin Quotes The world has arrived at an age of cheap complex devices of great reliability, and something is bound to come of it. Vannevar Bush Quotes Personally, I rather look forward to a computer program winning the world chess championship. Humanity needs a lesson in humility. Richard Dawkins Quotes The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. Sidney J. Harris on computers A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history -- with the possible exceptions of hand guns and tequila. Mitch Ratliffe on computers To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters. Farmers Almanac on computers I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Isaac Asimov Electronic aids, particularly domestic computers, will help the inner migration, the opting out of reality. Reality is no longer going to be the stuff out there, but the stuff inside your head. It's going to be commercial and nasty at the same time. J. G. Ballard Computers WORK, people THINK. IBM Corporation Old Adage I have always wished for a computer that would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish came true. I no longer know how to use my telephone. Bjarne Stronstrup As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. Weisert One of the most feared expressions in modern times is The computer is down Norman Augustine The sad thing about artificial intelligence is that it lacks artifice and therefore intelligence. Jean Baudrillard The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. Nathanie Borenstein The workers and professionals of the world will soon be divided into two distinct groups. Those who will control computers and those who will be controlled by computers. It would be best for you to be in the former group. Lewis D. Eigen If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. Harry Weinberger Code is poetry. Wordpress.org Control over computing belongs with users. Brandt Allen I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. Dave Barry The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. Dave Barry Computer science only indicates the retrospective omnipotence of our technologies. In other words, an infinite capacity to process data (but only data -- i.e. the already given) and in no sense a new vision. With that science, we are entering an era of exhaustivity, which is also an era of exhaustion. Jean Baudrillard Silicon Valley is like a person running around in front of a steamroller. You can outrun the steamroller on any given day. But if you ever sit down you get squashed. Bob Boschert There is never finality in the display terminal's screen, but an irresponsible whimsicality, as words, sentences, and paragraphs are negated at the touch of a key. The significance of the past, as expressed in the manuscript by a deleted word or an inserted correction, is annulled in idle gusts of electronic massacre. Alexander Cockburn It is hardly surprising that children should enthusiastically start their education at an early age with the Absolute Knowledge of computer science; while they are unable to read, for reading demands making judgments at every line. Conversation is almost dead, and soon so too will be those who knew how to speak. Guy Debord A computer won't clean up the errors in your manual of procedures. Sheila M. Eby I really don't care that I don't have what's current because whatever is at the moment, it will be infinitely better in a few months and even better months later. William Fink One of the best things to come out of the home computer revolution could be the general and widespread understanding of how severely limited logic really is. Frank Herbert Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid. William M. Kelly Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. John F. Kennedy A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable. Leslie Lamport I see no reason why anyone would want a computer in their home. Kenneth Olsen There will still be things that machines cannot do. They will not produce great art or great literature or great philosophy; they will not be able to discover the secret springs of happiness in the human heart; they will know nothing of love and friendship. Bertrand Russell If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer. Source Unknown Computers in the future will weigh no more than 1.5 tons. [Quoted in Popular Mechanics 1950] Source Unknown I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. Thomas J. Watson The computing field is always in need of new cliches. Alan Perlis Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy Rooney (1919 - ) The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Bill Gates (1955 - ), Business @ The Speed of Thought If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. Bradley's Bromide Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? Clifford Stoll My computer beat me at chess... so I beat it at kickboxing. Demetri Martin Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. Doug Larson Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. E. W. Dijkstra The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim. E. W. Dijkstra Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. Edward Shepherd Mead To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Farmers' Almanac, 1978 Compromise used to mean that half a loaf was better than no bread. Among modern statesmen it really seems to mean that half a loaf is better than a whole loaf. G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936), What's Wrong with the World, chapter 3, 1910 Most people believe that if you go in and try to micromanage a forest, it is possible to destroy the very thing that makes it a unique and special place. That's just as true of the Net. Glen Raphael I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. James Magary Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. Jef Raskin, interviewed in Doctor Dobb's Journal The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little. Joe Martin, Porterfield One would think that if you're anonymous, you'd do anything you want, but groups have their own sense of community and what we can do. John Allen, A network called 'Internet', CBC, 10-08-93 In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear. John C. Dvorak There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home. Ken Olsen (1926 - ), President, Digital Equipment, 1977 No computer has ever been designed that is ever aware of what it's doing; but most of the time, we aren't either. Marvin Minsky The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. Nathaniel Borenstein (1957 - ) Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973) The computer is a moron. Peter Drucker (1909 - 2005) If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it. Pierre Gallois Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Rick Cook, The Wizardry Compiled To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so. Robert Orben If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. Stephen Hawking (1942 - ) All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. Unknown In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it. Unknown Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons. unknown, Popular Mechanics, March 1949 Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf. Sam Ewing Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. John F. Kennedy Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. \nEdsger W. Dijkstra Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up \nJames Magary Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. \nRick Cook Theyre trying to get everyone to use iPads and when people use iPads they end up just using technology to consume things instead of making things. \nRussell A. Kirsch I guess, Ive always believed that nothing is withheld from us what we have conceived to do. Most people think the opposite that all things are withheld from them which they have conceived to do and they end up doing nothing. \nRussell A. Kirsch Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. \nJoseph Campbell I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. \nStephen Hawking Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding. \nLouis Gerstner Errors using inadequate data are much less than those using no data at all. \nCharles Babbage There will always be plenty of things to compute in the detailed affairs of millions of people doing complicated things. \nVannevar Bush On two occasions I have been asked,\\\"Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?\\\" In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. \nCharles Babbage Story in a game is like a story in a porn movie. It's expected to be there, but it's not that important. \nJohn D. Carmack II Steve Jencks: The computer doesn't have any ideas. It only evaluates mine... \nJohn Michael Crichton Unless mankind redesigns itself by changing our DNA through altering our genetic makeup, computer-generated robots will take over our world. \nStephen Hawking A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. \nMitch Ratcliffe The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. \nSydney Harris User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot." \nDave Barry If automobiles had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside \nRobert Cringely Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. \nIsaac Asimov It took us three years to build the NeXT computer. If we'd given customers what they said they wanted, we'd have built a computer they'd have been happy with a year after we spoke to them - not something they'd want now. \nSteve Jobs I don't think there's anything unique about human intelligence. All the neurons in the brain that make up perceptions and emotions operate in a binary fashion. We can someday replicate that on a machine. Earthly life is carbon based and computers are \nBill Gates Computers can now keep a man's every transgression recorded in a permanent memory bank, duplicating with complex programming and intricate wiring a feat his wife handles quite well without fuss or fanfare \nLane Olinghouse The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs. \nJoseph Weizenbaum A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable \nLeslie Lamport A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind \nJoseph Weizenbaum Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. \nJef Raskin Without real experience in using the computer to get useful results the computer science major is apt to know all about the marvelous tool except how to use it. Such a person is a mere technician, skilled in manipulating the tool but with little sense of how and when to use it for its basic purposes. \nRichard Wesley Hamming A Computer is a state machine. Threads are for people who can't program state machines. \nAlan Cox What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator. \n-Anon. Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk? \n-Anon. The Next Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe. \n-Anon. Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad. \n-Anon. If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. \n-Anon. Intel has announced its next chip: the Repentium. \n-Anon. Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. \n-Anon. All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. \n-Anon. Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window. \n-Anon. If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...? \n-Anon. Where the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1 1/2 tons. \n-Anon., "Popular Mechanics", March, 1949 At the dictation of a mathematician, it will solve in a matter of hours equations never before solved because of their intricacy and the enormous time and personnel which would be required to work them out on ordinary office calculators. \n-Anon. The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second- rate technology, led them into it in the first place. \n-Douglas Adams At the present time there exist problems beyond our ability to solve, not because of theoretical difficulties, but because of insufficient means of mechanical computation. \n-Howard Aiken Proposed Automatic Calculating Machine, 1937 \nThe desire to economize time and mental effort in arithmetical computations, and to eliminate human liability to error is probably as old as the science of arithmetic itself. \n-Howard Aiken Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. \n-Isaac Asimov I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them. \n-Isaac Asimov One of the most feared expressions in modern times is The computer is down \n-Norman Augustine Electronic aids, particularly domestic computers, will help the inner migration, the opting out of reality. Reality is no longer going to be the stuff out there, but the stuff inside your head. It's going to be commercial and nasty at the same time. \n-J. G. Ballard I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. \n-Dave Barry The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. \n-Dave Barry The sad thing about artificial intelligence is that it lacks artifice and therefore intelligence. \n-Jean Baudrillard Computer science only indicates the retrospective omnipotence of our technologies. In other words, an infinite capacity to process data (but only data -- i.e. the already given) and in no sense a new vision. With that science, we are entering an era of exhaustivity, which is also an era of exhaustion. \n-Jean Baudrillard The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. \n-Nathaniel Borenstein Silicon Valley is like a person running around in front of a steamroller. You can outrun the steamroller on any given day. But if you ever sit down you get squashed. \n-Bob Boschert Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software. \n-Arthur C. Clarke There is never finality in the display terminal's screen, but an irresponsible whimsicality, as words, sentences, and paragraphs are negated at the touch of a key. The significance of the past, as expressed in the manuscript by a deleted word or an inserted correction, is annulled in idle gusts of electronic massacre. \n-Alexander Cockburn If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. \n-Robert X Cringely It is hardly surprising that children should enthusiastically start their education at an early age with the Absolute Knowledge of computer science; while they are unable to read, for reading demands making judgments at every line. Conversation is almost dead, and soon so too will be those who knew how to speak. \n-Guy Debord The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec. \n-Marcus Dolengo The computer is a moron. \n-Peter Drucker A computer won't clean up the errors in your manual of procedures \n-Sheila M. Eby The workers and professionals of the world will soon be divided into two distinct groups. Those who will control computers and those who will be controlled by computers. It would be best for you to be in the former group. \n-Lewis D. Eigen I really don't care that I don't have what's current because whatever is at the moment, it will be infinitely better in a few months and even better months later. \n-William Fink The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. \n-Bill Gates I don't think there's anything unique about human intellience. All the nuerons in the brain that make up perceptions and emotions operate in a binary fashion. \n-Bill Gates The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. \n-Sydney J. Harris I only know one person who was able to write a program in ink and have it run the first time. That was Dick Bloch. He drove nearly all of us crazy because he could do that. Since the Mark I was a relay and step counter machine, it was not too difficult to change the circuits. Every once in a while, Dick would get the idea of a new circuit that would make his problem run faster. He'd get together with one of the operators during the night and they would fix the circuit. The next morning my programs wouldn't run. It's much better to have machines that the programers cannot alter. \nCommander Aiken was a tough taskmaster. I was sitting at my desk one day, and he said, You're going to write a book. I said, I can't write a book. He said, You're in the Navy now. And so I wrote a book. I have it here with me. This is the Mark I manual. \nHoward Aiken always said that one day we would have computers that would fit in a shoe box. I don't t know how he knew that, but he did. \n-Grace Murray Hopper, speaking at The Computer Museum, April 14, 1983 Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems. \n-Grace Murray Hopper We're flooding people with information. We need to feed it through a processor. A human must turn information into intelligence or knowledge. We've tended to forget that no computer will ever ask a new question. \n-Grace Murray Hopper Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid. \n-William M. Kelly Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. \n-John Fitzgerald Kennedy A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable. \n-Leslie Lamport I have a spelling checker \nIt came with my PC; \nIt plainly marks four my revue \nMistakes I cannot sea. \nI've run this poem threw it, \nI'm sure your pleased too no, \nIts letter perfect in its weigh, \nMy checker tolled me sew. \n\n-Janet Minor I see no reason why anyone would want a computer in their home. -Kenneth Olsen Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. -Jeff Pesis Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -Pablo Picasso The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little. -Porterfield A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. -Mitch Ratliffe There will still be things that machines cannot do. They will not produce great art or great literature or great philosophy; they will not be able to discover the secret springs of happiness in the human heart; they will know nothing of love and friendship. -Bertrand Russell The real question is not whether machines think but whether men do. -B. F. Skinner Contingencies of Reinforcement \nThe robot is going to lose. Not by much. But when the final score is tallied, flesh and blood is going to beat the damn monster. \n-Adam Smith I have always wished for a computer that would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish came true. I no longer know how to use my telephone. \n-Bjarne Stroustrup If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer. -Source Unknown Computers in the future will weigh no more than 1.5 tons. Quoted in Popular Mechanics 1950 -Source Unknown Anyway, there's plenty of room for doubt. It might seem easy enough, but computer language design is just like a stroll in the park.... \nJurassic Park, that is. \n-Larry Wall I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. -Thomas J. Watson If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. -Harry Weinberger As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. -Weisert I'm not against machines, as are some people who feel that the computer is leading us back into the jungle...I'm against machines only when the convenience they afford to some people is regarded as more important than the inconvenience they cause to all. \nIn short, I don't think computers should wear the pants or make the decisions. They are deficient in humor, they are not intuitive, and they are not aware of the imponderables. The men who feed them seem to believe that everything is made out of ponderables, which isn't the case. I read a poem once that a computer had written, but didn't care much for it. It seemed to me I could write a better one myself, if I were to put my mind to it. \n\n-E.B. (Elwyn Brooks) White Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. Dear Mr. ___, "The New Yorker", 1967 "The guy who knows about computers is the last person you want to have creating documentation for people who don't understand computers." — Adam Osborne "Access to computers and the Internet has become a basic need for education in our society." — Kent Conrad "I wish people would turn off their computers, go outside, talk to people, touch people, lick people, enjoy each other's company and smell each other on the rump." — Tre Cool "Computers can now keep a man's every transgression recorded in a permanent memory bank, duplicating with complex programming and intricate wiring a feat his wife handles quite well without fuss or fanfare" — Lane Olinghouse "(The) vast majority of the machines infected...are home computers. Nothing will happen on them until people get home from work and boot up their machines. We'd like to think that they whole problem was avoided and everybody cleaned up their machines in time. But unfortunately, that's probably not true." — Mikko Hypponen "People use not just personal computers, but telephones, televisions, wireless and other devices with this technology so that minutes will migrate over time, ... We really don't see a mass substitution or a great big cliff ahead of us, but rather that people will use this [Net2Phone applications] in conjunction with activities that they are performing in the Internet portal space." — Michael Armstrong "The future lies in designing and selling computers that people don't realize are computers at all" — Adam Osborne "And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)" — Dave Barry "There will still be things that machines cannot do. They will not produce great art or great literature or great philosophy; they will not be able to discover the secret springs of happiness in the human heart; they will know nothing of love and friendship." — Bertrand Russell "E-commerce businesses, even e-commerce specialists, have yet to realize that the WWW is first and foremost an emotional experience. Few websites reflect this important priority." — Grant Fairley "In a way, staring into a computer screen is like staring into an eclipse. It's brilliant and you don't realize the damage until its too late." — Bruce Sterling "Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer." — Dave Barry "People clearly reason spatially and with images as well. We think it will be important for computers to be able to do the same." — Randall Davis "There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece." — Dave Barry "People think computers will keep them from making mistakes. They're wrong. With computers you make mistakes faster." — Adam Osborne "They (computers) run our electric power grid, out telecommunications network, they run our railroads, our banking system, and all of them are vulnerable, at some level, to some degree to information warfare, or cyber-terrorism," — Richard Clark "If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in." — Author Unknown "Modern people are only willing to believe in their computers, while I believe in myself." — Alain Robert "Everything now is all pushed together. Kids are using the same computers as adults." — Randy Matlow "Do I think people will read 'Moby Dick' on their computers? No." — Danielle Tiedt "In the future, ... people will live twice as long, computers will die twice as fast." — Futurama "At first, he was thought of as extreme, but later, with the advent of computers, he was able to run large databases and establish a very large empirical record. I can't think of anyone who's had more impact on public finance in the second half of the 20th century." — Lawrence Lindsey "It is essential that computers are protected from unauthorized access by remote hackers. All computer users need to patch against these flaws in Microsoft's software as quickly as possible, before hackers and virus writers try and take advantage of them." — Ron O'Brien "The next major explosion is going to be when genetics and computers come together. I'm talking about an organic computer - about biological substances that can function like a semiconductor." — Alvin Toffler "The next step for us will be to conduct forensic lab analysis of his computers. To see what images are on the computers, how many and how they got there." — Lauren Mack "If we go down and have no phones, no computers and no cell phones, we are still going to be able to communicate," — Aaron Adams "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers." — Sydney Harris "Computers are great, and they help us out a lot, but I think they can get us into a lot of trouble. I don't want people to get drunk and go online, for starters. I think it's dangerous. Everyone uses phony names, and you just don't know who you are talking to half the time." — Llywelyn Jones "As he got older, he just became intimidated by these computers. It was kind of devastating for him." — Paul English "We have computers to help us with the returns, but no way would we ever have a computer answer the phone. It's rude and it aggravates people." — Lee Densmore "Most companies have a policy that says if you use our computers you consent to our monitoring." — Mark Rasch "He's a computer geek, ... I think he knew more about MacIntosh computers than the state's witness did. I'm not sure how much the jury caught, but he seemed to be pretty pleased." — Mark Edwards "When I tried to figure out how computers worked, I was disgusted. I thought it was totally brute force. I felt there had to be a more elegant way to do this." — Kwabena Boahen "There's too many alternative ways to buy computers." — Rick Berry "It will really speed up our computer system. It's dramatic, what it will do for us. School computers will be able to talk together." — Bruce Baker "We have three good size rooms here. We have the band room. We also have the Internet room with computers and Internet access. And we have a plasma TV lounge." — Mark Machnic "The next big wave for computers, at least as far as we can tell, is going to be these modular designs, so it's a race to see which major brand does it first," — Rob Enderle "Up to now, I've been able to avoid Windows NT because the computers that control the power system are for the most part VAXes. But as more things we use, such as time sheets and discrepancy reports, migrate to the NT network, I'll need to do NT. I don't know what will happen; all I can do is try." — Michael Freeman "If I had to sum up in a word what makes a good manager, I'd say decisiveness. You can use the fanciest computers to gather the numbers, but in the end you have to set a timetable and act." — Lee Iacocca "The results are consistent with the outlook (we announced) in October. Growth in emerging markets, demand for (notebook computers) and demand in manufacturing are delivering healthy growth in Intel's revenue." — Andy Bryant "I'm expecting to get a couple more years out of these computers." — Larry Buchanan "You have a growing network and the computers need to be advanced. Most counties have a network administrator and staff." — Jon Anderson "With computers at every bedside, patient medical records available online, and technology to review cases, the physicians at Pepin are uniquely positioned within the healthcare industry. Using GE's transformational medical technologies can help these physicians make faster and more informed decisions, streamline healthcare costs, reduce medical errors and enhance and improve the quality of patient care." — Vishal Wanchoo "You have riches and freedom here but I feel no sense of faith or direction. You have so many computers, why don't you use them in the search for love?" — Lech Walesa "The computer industry is not in the best long-term interest for us. The increased use of computers, e-mails, computing games and other electronic entertainment gadgets has cut into people's free time." — Mike May "These people need everything from computers to toilets." — Kim Cooley "There would be a cost for expenses of the commission, for commission staff, for computers, ... But it would be approximately half of the cost now because there would not be duplication." — Mark Herron "It could include items such as increased expenditures on computers, on technology, on science labs and equipment, on instructional equipment, or even better, higher salaries for teachers," — Rick Perry "Carders typically buy high-value goods like computers and jewelry so they can resell them," — Ken Miller "The reality is that there could have been hundreds of thousands of computers with overwritten files today. Instead, we only have a handful of reports, and that is a hands-down victory for the collaborative effort of the security community." — Ken Dunham "He lives a lot in his head, like a lot of us live in our little condos with our computers. We interact less and less with other humans and don't use our imaginations as much. This character's head is a big hot-air balloon, and he flies away to find the balance between (living in) the real world and being able to keep his creativity and childlike heart." — Kiki Nesbitt "The computer is the most extraordinary of man's technological clothing; it's an extension of our central nervous system. Beside it, the wheel is a mere hula-hoop." — Marshall McLuhan "When Shauna walked through the door we had no furniture, no computers, we had nothing. She has been involved in every aspect of setting up the milk bank." — Mary Weber "We won't always make it in five years but that's the goal. Computers will last more than five years. Some are now 8 to 10 years old and we actually wish they would die." — Rick Jones "People don't understand computers. Computers are magical boxes that do things. People believe what computers tell them." — Bruce Scheneier "We're going so into computers and technology today that I think we're losing the human touch on a lot of things. And as far as I'm concerned, police work still requires the human touch. You still have to be one-on-one with people. I'm going to continue to try to maintain our one-on-one, person-to-person thing with our dispatcher. If you call our police department 24 hours a day, you still get a human being. I'm a firm believer that every dark cloud has a silver lining, even if you just learn a little bit along the way from it. And if that brings morale up, then I'm glad it did. I'm sure glad I was given the opportunity." — Mark Smith "We don't mind taking the money and using it simply for computers and technology initiatives that we as Virginias have determined, but I don't want them doing anything to harm our standards," — George Allen "The cost of computers is still a problem along with access to Internet service, ... If you don't see marketing efforts toward your group and someone to set up the computer and internet service, you are less likely to have it." — Ted Schadler "Carders typically buy high-value goods like computers and jewelry so they can resell them." — Ken Miller "What Microsoft is doing is patently illegal. Think about it. If you want to build computers, you've got to ask Bill's permission, ... If Bill wanted to triple the price on Windows, what would you do? You'd pay; you wouldn't have any choice." — Larry Ellison "In theory, you would have people buying computers with XP Home in 2006, and it would immediately have to be upgraded. There are also a lot of consumers with older hardware who would have to buy a new computer to be secure." — Paul DeGroot "After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy." — John Pierce "Computers have taken so much drudgery out of it. Just one to mention, painting the picture. It used to be that everything was wet, everything was with a brush. Everything was wiggle it in water, wipe out your brush, get a new jar of paint, spill the paint, mop it up." — Don Bluth "We can do things that we never could before. Stop-motion lets you build tiny little worlds, and computers make that world even more believable." — Nick Park "We don't mind taking the money and using it simply for computers and technology initiatives that we as Virginias have determined, but I don't want them doing anything to harm our standards." — George Allen "The next big wave for computers, at least as far as we can tell, is going to be these modular designs, so it's a race to see which major brand does it first." — Rob Enderle "We had to buy furniture and computers; we had to put a teacher's desk, wall unit and file cabinet in each classroom. We ordered all those items six months ago from different manufacturers. When they were delivered, they were stored and some pieces had to be assembled. We ordered half a million dollars worth of textbooks. It took a great deal of planning by everyone in the school district - from the custodians planning on how to schedule cleaning to how we were going to supply books and teachers. It was an unbelievably complex project," — Rob Roberts "The spreading of the worm has slowed down slightly, but the real cost is going back and cleaning computers." — John Pescatore "Not only are all of his skills ... oriented toward computers, but even if he were to not want to work in the computer field, it's very hard to get a job of any kind that does not require you to work with computers." — Kevin Mitnick "If you are going to need more computers in a school, you need to know that before you start renovating so you can provide the electrical hookups necessary." — Margaret Craft "We'll be able to interact with these computers the way we interact with each other, they would recognize speech." — Kwabena Boahen "We think within three years, 60 percent of all desktop computers shipped will be these small form-factor devices. And that could happen even sooner." — Martin Reynolds "Big RISC computers are used, for example, in payment-card processing, banking, and airline reservations." — Martin Reynolds "We were one of the first in the area to offer the service. The computers allowed us to take smaller samples and, in turn, save more lives." — Virgil Kelly "The increase in e-filing is really being driven by people using their home computers. E-file is the safe, accurate way for taxpayers to quickly finish their taxes and get a refund." — Mark Everson "The students are far more adept at computers than we are." — Leo Nesmith "To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so." — Robert Orben "The Internet lets us do that for first time in the history of computers. It lets us, in effect, make them into one big parallel supercomputer." — David Anderson "I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image." — Stephen Hawking "Computers are to design as microwaves are to cooking." — Milton Glaser "As a consequence of our current dependence on computers, some Y2K-related failures could have noticeable effects on the economy," — Alan Greenspan "The finance and services sectors reported the highest expectations for capital spending, especially on computers and communications equipment." — Ken Simonson "For the first time this year our commercials will be downloadable on to video players and computers. It is the way consumers want to be reached." — Marlene Coulis "If you're a foreign intelligence service and you know that a [US] federal agency is buying 15,000 computers from [a Chinese] company, wouldn't you look into the possibility that you could do something about that?" — Larry Wortzel "Don King was never indicted. The FBI questioned Don King, they went into his office, they confiscated his computers and they were satisfied with what they found. I would like for the Division of Gaming to tell us why Don King is so bad he can't promote a fight in the state of New Jersey." — Larry Hazzard "Students won't have to worry about standing in line for computers. It will be very convenient for them to get things accomplished." — Mary Robinson "The problem with VPNs and notebook computers is that firewalls are being bypassed by remote dial-in users, ... When we've put our software on a lot of people's machines, we see virtually everyone will undergo a hacker attack within just a few weeks." — Robert Graham "Kids want to have the latest in technology, just like adults. Kids have grown up with computers. They are not afraid of technology, they embrace it." — Reyne Rice "There are many times more cell phones and pagers than computers, and once hackers get into a consumer device at any level, they can initiate communication, ... My pager can run programs. Imagine what will happen when your refrigerator is Internet-enabled for ordering groceries." — Paul Robertson "Plus, it always bugged me to see how my dad became unable to use the phone when the computers started taking over. So part of my motivation for this fight is in his name." — Paul English "I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer." — Dave Barry "The computers have to talk to each other. The networks have to work. There are many ingredients. With all our fancy computers and networks, we still can't predict the Earth." — Ken Goldberg "The answer is there was a shift, not a drop, in demand. Chinese shipments of computers were up more than 20 percent nationally, but fell almost 60 percent in Laredo, more than accounting for the drop in overall Chinese imports." — Ken Roberts "A targeted program might make sense to get computers to students who really need one, and it would be a lot less expensive." — Laura Barrett "I actually use a computer a lot. I have three computers that I use on a regular basis - one is on my desk top in my Washington office, another is at home, and I have my laptop that I use when I'm travelling." — Rick Boucher "There is never finality in the display terminal's screen, but an irresponsible whimsicality, as words, sentences, and paragraphs are negated at the touch of a key. The significance of the past, as expressed in the manuscript by a deleted word or an inserted correction, is annulled in idle gusts of electronic massacre." — Alexander Cockburn "The deal says, you stick to computers and we'll stick to music." — Geoffrey Vos "After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breath and reboot." — Sarah Parker "I think there's a world market for about five computers." — Charles Townes "The affidavit must indicate why investigators were unable to retrieve any information from MSN Hotmail and/or any other computers or accounts searched," — Leonie Brinkema "There is a terribly fine line. So, what the retailers are doing is using computers to do the work for them so they can downgrade their staffing quality." — Mark Husson "These are best-of-breed computers for consumers looking for the best technology available for advanced multimedia and entertainment applications." — Liem Nguyen "Right now, computers, which are supposed to be our servant, are oppressing us." — Jef Raskin "Supercomputers will achieve one human brain capacity by 2010, and personal computers will do so by about 2020." — Ray Kurzweil "Today's cars have computers that are all set up and programmed for the different grades of gas. All the sensors are reading different things to make the car run better." — Jim Baker "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." — Thomas Watson "The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows." — Frank Zappa "Computer science only indicates the retrospective omnipotence of our technologies. In other words, an infinite capacity to process data (but only data -- i.e. the already given) and in no sense a new vision. With that science, we are entering an era of exhaustivity, which is also an era of exhaustion." — Jean Baudrillard "Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software." — Author Unknown "If at first it doesn't work, REBOOT!" — Author Unknown "A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy." — Joseph Campbell "The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower. To think otherwise is to demean the Buddha -- which is to demean oneself." — Robert Pirsig "Our vision is this: In the future, companies won't buy computers. They'll buy connectivity to the Internet the way you go to the electric company to get electricity." — Mark Jarvis "We want to be able to do this with partners. Five thousand computers is a conservative start." — Aisling MacRunnels "Computers, Internet access, cell-phone technology and simplified web-page design software have all become cheaper and faster in recent years, making it easier to launch some type of at-home enterprise without sinking a lot of money into it." — Simon Yates "Of course it's the government. Governments will pay anything for control of other governments' computers. All governments will pay anything. It's so much better than tapping a phone." — Alan Paller "To create a new standard it takes something that's not just a little bit different. It takes something that's really new and really captures people's imagination. And the Macintosh, of all the machines I've ever seen, is the only one that meets that standard." — Bill Gates "If Jewel Quest was a person, I would punch them in the effing face." — Charleen Scott "Today's technology enables laptop computers to store vast amounts of information. Laptop computers are a high-risk target for theft and require us to take special safeguards to protect them. The capabilities of laptop computers also create significant technical vulnerabilities. For example, infrared and modem capabilities can cause data to be transferred without the users' knowledge." — David Carpenter "Obtaining a guilty plea is a positive step in combating a growing problem -- hijacking thousands of computers for personal gain. The case validates what we have seen as the criminalization of the Windows platform, and it is especially dangerous because the exploit was used for a profit motive." — Andrew Jaquith "They looked at everything workers did on the computers." — Andrew Jaquith "We've had a lot more teens hanging out at the new library, ... The kids really like the new computers and a lot of them come here to hang out with their friends and do their homework after school." — American Library "There's a bigger agenda here. Tandem has been in the forefront in moving to clustering [combining smaller computers' processing power to act like a mainframe]. That's one area that Compaq, along with Microsoft and Intel, want to move into." — Andrew Neff "I feel like kids spend a lot of time indoors, in front of television, video games and computers any time that you can get a group of young people together that's not in front of some type of screen, it's a good thing. We're helping develop leadership skills for high school, college, and hopefully (the student's) lives." — Amy King "It would take a lot of time and effort (to repair the computers). And they can't run (programs and games) kids are interested in today. They're not even on the Internet. We wouldn't be offering them much of a carrot." — Bob Schneider "I noticed, a long time ago, you can engage kids a lot more with a screen. We started using computers in the classroom around 1980, but this class really started when we came to this building about 11 years ago. It was an experiment, and I have been teaching this class (advanced communications) ever since." — Mark Johnson "The cool kids have co-opted all the neat stuff ? computers, gadgets, video games. There's no such thing as a computer geek anymore." — Tiffany Shlain "Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC." — Andy Grove "Oh, so they have internet on computers now!" — Dan Castellaneta "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done." — Andy Rooney "Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy." — Joseph Campbell "Mobile computing is moving from the fringe to the mainstream. Portable computers are becoming the primary PC." — Gerry Purdy "Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?" — Dan Castellaneta "Music fans shouldn't have to install potentially dangerous, privacy intrusive software on their computers just to listen to the music they've legitimately purchased." — Cindy Cohn "The deal says, you stick to computers and we'll stick to music. This is a simple case. They advertise exclusive music for sale with the Apple logo. They are selling music." — Geoffrey Vos "What Apple Computers are not doing (when) using the Apple mark is selling software, delivery systems, or anything of the like. They are selling music. And that is in violation of the agreement." — Geoffrey Vos "Southern Illinois University donated five laptop computers to the Red Cross so that they could go out and register people for FEMA, since so many need help but don't have access to a computer. We are still trying to figure out what kind of housing is needed and trying to help anyone who comes to our agency." — Sharon Hess "I said I wanted to go back to a time when there (weren't) cars or computers or electricity because you had to work for what you wanted. Everything wasn't handed to you," — Kelly Chandler "They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction." — Janet Reno "Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one." — Bill Gates "Computers shouldn't be unusable. You don't need to know how to work a telephone switch to make a phone call, or how to use the Hoover Dam to take a shower, or how to work a nuclear-power plant to turn on the lights." — Scott McNealy "I think the whole Java momentum is making it easier and cheaper to deal with the Java technology in computers, ... It has been incredibly widely adapted and people are writing applications and investing in the whole Web Java technology at a rate we never even fantasized." — Scott McNealy "Computers belong in the boiler room, appliances belong in your hand," — Scott McNealy "We want people to know they can drop off their old computers with us for free, rather than just throw them away. We take anything and everything." — Shelly Flood "We monitor it at home from our computers. If something breaks down, we get a phone call, log on, and we can figure out what the problem is." — George Ferguson "There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home." — Ken Olson "People use not just personal computers, but telephones, televisions, wireless and other devices with this technology so that minutes will migrate over time. We really don't see a mass substitution or a great big cliff ahead of us, but rather that people will use this [Net2Phone applications] in conjunction with activities that they are performing in the Internet portal space." — Michael Armstrong "The more reliant we become upon computers and information systems, the more vulnerable we become to cyber-terrorists who will conceive unlimited ways to cripple our infrastructure, our power grids, our banking systems, our financial markets, our space based communications systems." — William Cohen "You're talking about a lot of money to put computers and networking [technology] in all the offices of the supervisors [of elections]. It was like $15 million to $17 million." — Kurt Browning "You can involve yourself in electronics, computers, puzzles... there's a lot of creativity and brain working. There's a lot to model trains that people don't realize." — Gary Coleman "The effort of using machines to mimic the human mind has always struck me as rather silly. I would rather use them to mimic something better." — Edsger Dijkstra "I think computers have made it possible that virtually all of us could be observed." — Tom Hoffman "Early on, when software was developed by computer scientists, just people working with computers, people passed around software because that was how you got computers to do things," — Tim O'Reilly "In today's world, people put most everything on computers. We need the forensics capability to go in and retrieve that information off the company's networks," — Earl Devaney "In today's world, people put most everything on computers. We need the forensics capability to go in and retrieve that information off the company's networks." — Earl Devaney "Most people around the world will experience new information technologies through their mobile-phone browsers. Computers are still priced out of reach for most people." — Philip Howard "It allows things you couldn't do before. The network is fast enough that computers can really be used for complex problems." — Ed Seidel "Manufacturing jobs today require highly skilled workers who are familiar with computers and technology," — Michael Dell "My sergeant said, 'What are you ever going to need computers for in police work?' I should mention that he retired very shortly after that." — Tim Schewe "Most of the computers collected for recycling here in the US end up being shipped illegally to disassembly sites in China and India." — Ted Smith "Most of the computers collected for recycling here in the US end up being shipped illegally to disassembly sites in China and India," — Ted Smith "A lot of people selling things like computers don't know enough about the product to give enough information to consumers. Consumers love information." — Tom Martino "This case comes at a time when people are starting to recognize that the information they put into their computers creates a record. In the bigger picture, as people input more information into computers, they are losing control over that. We're leaving a digital footprint with all sorts of information about ourselves." — Lauren Gelman "While I appreciate that this bill will grant the police more powers to confiscate computers and so forth, serious criminality on the internet will remain unpunished while international law is neither congruent nor consistently enforced. Those worried about their own security would do well to protect themselves through technology as well as legislation." — Tom Newton "I believe that computers are the most incredible tool we can use to feed our curiosity and inventiveness -- to help us solve problems that even the smartest people couldn't solve on their own, ... All Things Considered." — Bill Gates "People will be able to work (on their computers) anywhere downtown." — Rick Ortiz "If something happens, it's going to be sociological rather than technological. We won't see Y2K problems because of computers. It's just not going to happen." — Tom Thompson "[When employees with full access rights to your corporate data walk away from their active computers for a lunch break, your data at rest becomes available to attackers. Although securing sensitive enterprise data is not a new issue for businesses, some commonly used methods of providing data and network security have proved ineffective.] A lot of businesses try hard and throw money at the issue, ... then they dumb down encryption procedures and password practices." — Tom Vaughan "Items like televisions and computers are considered hazardous waste. If we have to dispose of an item like that now, it isn't just a matter of putting it in the trash. It requires special handling." — Elliott Smith "Ten years ago, this was an engineering Valley that pumped out chips and computers. Now it's all about creative tech and staying on the cutting edge." — Doug Henton "It could be used to reduce the software costs for desktop or mobile computers while keeping staff-related costs in check." — Dan Kusnetzky "We are clearly facing a problem of demand, not supply. Computers and Internet service have never been cheaper, yet many households still show little enthusiasm for the technology." — John Barrett "Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog." — Doug Larson "On job portals, there are more Employers than Seekers, in real world it is reverse.." — Vijayraj Bhatt "It's not just management techniques and computers that get the job done, it's those Middle Georgia war fighters. It's the people. They get the job done, and they deserve all the credit." — David Mann "If you think where computers have come in the last 10 years, you can think how far forgery has come. I used to be able to tell a fake document, but I can't anymore and it puts me at extreme risk." — Dave Penry "Providing [this] support to Mac OS X computers increases the enterprise-readiness level of Macintosh machines and enables IT managers to add one more layer of security against the increasing number of blended threats and attacks." — Dave Taylor "Computers are not accountable. People are." — George Marek "The beautiful thing about computers is that they are really, at their core, accounting machines. They love to count things. Social relationships are countable." — Marc Smith "Workers like that are at their computers, they tell me, up to 12 and 14 hours a day, ... So the slow rotation setting on the Aura turns you at one degree every four minutes. At high speed, you move 120 degrees in 15 seconds." — William Collier "We actually have people abandoning using their computers because it's just too much trouble," — David Perry "There are about 300 million computers on the Internet (but) the number of NT installations on desktops is relatively miniscule," — David Perry "Most people think computers when they think technology. We fight that all the time and what people perceive technology to be.Γ?Β Technology is a process of altering the natural world to satisfy human wants and needs." — Ben Yates "You're talking about a lot of money to put computers and networking [technology] in all the offices of the supervisors [of elections], ... It was like $15 million to $17 million." — Kurt Browning "Theaters are always going to be around, and doing fine. With computers and technology, we're becoming more and more secluded from each other. And the movie theater is one of the last places where we can still gather and experience something together. I don't think the desire for that magic will ever go away." — Wolfgang Petersen "One of the most feared expressions in modern times is ''The computer is down''" — Norman Augustine "The automobile today is nothing more than a rolling physics lab with a lot of computers in it. These kids are the computer generation. They grab the technology and go fast with it." — David Sloan "Yeah, man, kids today are smarter than we ever were. And they've got computers, too, which is awesome. They're scary to me." — David Arquette "The big question society will have to answer is whether it wants computers thinking like humans?" — David Smith "The use of laptop computers introduces a number of security threats to the Department of State and to every federal agency." — David Carpenter "We need to connect the computers directly to the data, so the human beings don't have to be the I/O channel, and elevate the role of the human being to a more supervisory role." — David Tennenhouse "We built the computers at WTCC," — Burton "Improving system response changes the relationship between computers and humans." — Ken Kutaragi "Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us." — Jean Rostand "Even parents who are watching their kids' computers are clueless that they've put a [cell phone] in their kid's hands that can be used to trade this stuff around." — Parry Aftab "They were to Battle Creek in the early 1900s what Compaq and IBM computers have been to California's Silicon Valley. They set the standard for healthy living 100 years ago, and they continue to set the standard today." — Jim Hettinger "What this plan has done for us is enable us to get faster computers," — Jim Hoover "Manufacturing job recoveries are most likely in fabricated metals, machinery, transportation equipment and computers and electronics, which together have accounted for half of the manufacturing job losses," — Jerry Jasinowski "Manufacturing job recoveries are most likely in fabricated metals, machinery, transportation equipment and computers and electronics, which together have accounted for half of the manufacturing job losses." — Jerry Jasinowski "Computers have very tight profit margins, making it difficult to convince manufacturers to be more environmentally friendly in the manufacturing process." — Jim Lynch "The computers don't care about the name on the front of the jersey or that school's spot in the [human] polls. They see a 3-2 Ohio State team and a 4-1 Vanderbilt team." — Jerry Palm "Oklahoma was the last of those teams in the polls, but the computers and strength of schedule moved them up." — Jerry Palm "If Virginia Tech is undefeated, it could be No. 1 in the computers (at the end of the season)." — Jerry Palm "The poll margin is enormous. Virginia Tech would have to be two spots ahead of Texas in the computers to get . They need to hope those poll margins erode." — Jerry Palm "Those efforts have failed as the performance deficiencies of computers based on Intel's Pentium 4 processors have become increasingly evident, ... Nevertheless, drastic price cuts and large, cash-backed marketing programs from Intel had the effect of driving down [average selling prices] on PC processors in the market segments where we compete directly." — Jerry Sanders "We're still working on getting digital microscopes and computers." — Jim Myers "In their camps they have airstrips, planes ... very sophisticated equipment like computers and satellite transmitters, everything you can possibly imagine that isn't necessary to evangelize indigenous groups," — Jesse Chacon "Some seniors are afraid of computers or don't know how to use them well to feel confident to file online." — Jim Phillips "It took us three years to build the NeXT computer. If we'd given customers what they said they wanted, we'd have built a computer they'd have been happy with a year after we spoke to them - not something they'd want now." — Steve Jobs "We want to stand at the intersection of computers and humanism" — Steve Jobs "Apple had a terrific quarter -- we sold a record number of Power Macintosh G3 computers, customers love our new PowerBooks, Apple earned its highest profit in years and we ended the quarter with the lowest inventory level among the major PC players," — Steve Jobs "These are the first personal computers in history with dual processors, ... This is the kind of stuff many of our customers do every day and this can save them an hour or two each day." — Steve Jobs "It's a non-issue for us... We sell computers." — Steve Jobs "From then on, when anything went wrong with a computer, we said it had bugs in it." — Grace Hopper "Worms and viruses are increasingly being written to steal confidential data from innocent people's computers, to hijack resources, or launch spam or denial-of-service attacks," — Graham Cluley "We've moved on through tape recorders to video, through to multimedia computers," — Graham Davies "We have a number of things to prevent that type of thing. We have filters on our computers. We are constantly vigilant. ... If people on their home computers were as vigilant as we are at school, we may not have had the bigger problem." — Chris Dunshee "All in all it is a reasonably good story. The whole appliances, computers, electrical segment has been pretty resilient, and the franchise model they have got is a pretty robust one." — Grant Saligari "A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy" — Joseph Campbell "It is hardly surprising that children should enthusiastically start their education at an early age with the Absolute Knowledge of computer science; while they are unable to read, for reading demands making judgments at every line. Conversation is almost dead, and soon so too will be those who knew how to speak." — Guy deBord "It cost us more to buy the components and put the computers together than to just buy the computers whole. We could not compete in that market at all." — Steve Smith "[Once customers choose something, purchases are made by cash or check only. Credit cards and computers aren't used. Receipts are hand-written. And the inventory is jotted on 3-by-5 cards in 3-foot-long boxes.] It's cheaper, and we keep prices down by doing that, ... It's easy. It's the way we've always done it." — Harold Foster "My goal wasn't to make a ton of money. It was to build good computers." — Steve Wozniak "[It] had no computers, few usable textbooks, and the professors taught off of 20- to 30-year-old lecture notes. The buildings were rather run-down and electricity [was] very intermittent." — Steve Brown "Computer users are often unaware that their computers are being controlled by others and used for malicious purposes," — Helen Coonan "They have the Internet on computers, now?" — Homer Simpson "The modern computer hovers between the obsolescent and the nonexistent." — Sydney Brenner "It makes life difficult ... because law changes very slowly. We have judges who did not grow up with computers and so many do not understand the technology and issues it raises." — Susan Brenner "There's no other reason behind it whatsoever. Anything that the offices will be putting on the computers that will be going out campus-wide should now, for the most part, be having the eight-digit college-wide ID instead of the actual social on there." — Kelly Rodrigue "I like doing both, taking photos and working with the computers." — Howard Taylor "No IT manager has ever lost their job from buying an HP printer, ... No matter how many Dell computers a company may have, people who purchase IT equipment look at HP as a long-standing leader in the printing business. It's a hard thing for Dell to crack, but they're still trying." — Ian Hamilton "Physical jobs will be done by robots and mental jobs will be done by smart computers." — Ian Pearson "There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about. It's a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you 'play' with them!" — Richard Feynman "By 2009, computers will disappear. Displays will be written directly onto our retinas by devices in our eyeglasses and contact lenses." — Ray Kurzweil "I never even worked on (computers) out on the streets -- never even been on the Internet, ... I didn't even know how to turn them on." — Richard Mitchell "All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men." — Issac Asimov "Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest." — Issac Asimov "Electronic aids, particularly domestic computers, will help the inner migration, the opting out of reality. Reality is no longer going to be the stuff out there, but the stuff inside your head. It's going to be commercial and nasty at the same time." — J. Ballard "Clearly, the computers are still trying to catch up with that surge of new enrollees." — Jack Cheevers "Well, they all have computers so they knew we were going to get a No. 1 seed before the morning started." — Jack Parker "The computers are theirs as long as they stay involved with the program." — Katie Kabage "We have deployed 600 access points (transmitters that send radio signals to wireless-enabled computers and hand-held devices). We will add about 50 more in the next couple of weeks." — Karrie Rockwell "One of the amazing aspects of the library is just the sheer numbers of computers that are available to the public." — Kay Runge "And a lot goes on below that 2,000-foot level. Even with all the advanced algorithms and computers, radar is not that accurate. It only infers what might be happening. We just don't get the whole picture from radar." — Kevin Brown "I've got two computers ? one is my Bill Gates computer and one is my non-Bill Gates computer. There are more and more things I can do on the (non-Gates) computer. It places real pricing pressure on the software that you'll pay for." — Kevin Landis "Businesses are replacing computers, but they're not expanding -- they're improving what they already do. It may even let them get by with fewer workers." — Kevin Logan "The first quarter was better because of better-than-expected extra demand for personal computers." — Lora Ho "Semiconductors are doing well and those chips are going into Dell computers." — Matthew Kelmon "The idea was to sell computers directly to the end user, without the markup of the dealer ... have a lower level of inventory and a higher level of service," — Michael Dell "We are looking at purchasing a computer program that would shut down the more than 900 computers that are on the network. The software will cost the district about $500 and save us more than $23,000 in energy costs per year." — Mike Shockley "My computer must be broken: whenever I ask a wrong question, it gives a wrong answer" — Ashleigh Brilliant "I've said some stupid things and some wrong things, but not that. No one involved in computers would ever say that a certain amount of memory is enough for all time." — Bill Gates "I think it's fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool we've ever created. They're tools of communication, they're tools of creativity, and they can be shaped by their user." — Bill Gates "Traditionally, the single downside of the online program has been the credit-card payment requirement. But we have computers in the office here where individuals can pay cash and take the test, so we expect the program to grow even more." — Bob Anderson "We feel so lucky, with computers and all taking over, to be able to do this beautiful, old fashioned technique," — Burton "To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life." — Dave Barry "The former Bronx borough president's proposal on computers for student use came as he detailed how he would spend the additional billions of dollars in financing that state courts have ordered for the city's school system, as a result of a lawsuit filed a decade ago by the Campaign for Fiscal Equity ." — Fernando Ferrer "Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all." — John Fitzgerald "My three-year-old uses the computer more proficiently than he can speak, ... Computers are going to get smarter." — Kevin O'Connor "Its all wrong, ... Lots of little computers are a terrible idea, you can't see the big picture because it's been you know, sliced and diced and it's stored in so many different locations. We've fragmented this information. It's impossible to know what's going on." — Larry Ellison "What do we want our kids to do? Sweep up around Japanese computers?" — Walter Mondale "The Semantic Web is not a separate Web but an extension of the current one, in which information is given well-defined meaning, better enabling computers and people to work in cooperation." — Tim Berners-Lee "We could say we want the Web to reflect a vision of the world where everything is done democratically, where we have an informed electorate and accountable officials. To do that we get computers to talk with each other in such a way as to promote that ideal." — Tim Berners-Lee "Most computer users don't think about backing up their software until the day they lose it." — Don Rittner "Any nitwit can understand computers. Many do." — Ted Nelson "[I] recall thinking that the computer would never advance much further than this. Call me naΓ?Β―ve, but I seemed to have underestimated the universal desire to sit in a hard plastic chair and stare at a screen until your eyes cross." — David Sedaris "Computers in the future will weigh no more than 1.5 tons. [Quoted in Popular Mechanics 1950]" — Author Unknown "If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer." — Author Unknown "Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it." — Author Unknown "Computers have lots of memory but no imagination." — Author Unknown "The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim." — Edsger W. Dijkstra "The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back." — Author Unknown "If it draws blood, it's hardware." — Author Unknown "I haven't lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere." — Author Unknown "Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?" — Author Unknown "RAM disk is not an installation procedure." — Author Unknown "The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord." — Author Unknown "There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about. It's a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you 'play' with them!" — Richard P. Feynman "Jesus saves! The rest of us better make backups." — Author Unknown "In God we trust, all others we virus scan." — Author Unknown "It's not a bug - it's an undocumented feature." — Author Unknown "I just wish my mouth had a backspace key." — Author Unknown "Programmer - an organism that turns coffee into software." — Author Unknown "User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean idiot." — Dave Barry "Technology is ted by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand." — Author Unknown "PROGRAM - n. A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages. v. tr.- To engage in a pastime similar to banging one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward." — Author Unknown "PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms" — Author Unknown "Multi-tasking - Screwing everything up simultaneously." — Author Unknown "Computers will never replace good old-fashioned human stupidity." — Author Unknown "The manual says to insert disk three, but only two will fit." — Author Unknown "Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we do not experience it." — Author Unknown "I fear that machines are several centuries ahead of the mortals." — Harry S. Truman "If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashes... Oh, wait a minute, he already does." — Author Unknown "People who buy Macs are the same people who said BETA is better than VHS 15 years ago." — Author Unknown "Anti-glare screens to prevent eye strain??? In my day, you didn't need an anti-glare screen. With the power they consumed, when you turned your computer on, the whole building darkened!" — Simon Travaglia "By striving to move the Intel-standard PC world towards a 32-bit operating system, new 32-bit applications and friendlier hardware standards, Microsoft Corp. can be compared to a person trying to kick a whale down the beach. What's amazing is that with Windows 95, the whale moved." — Stephen Howard "And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report." — Dave Barry "It's a well known fact that computing devices such as the abacus were invented thousands of years ago. But it's not well known that the first use of a common computer protocol occured in the Old Testament. This, of course, was when Moses aborted the Egyptians' process with a control-sea..." — Tom Galloway "All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors." — Author Unknown "Mac users swear by their computers. PC users swear at their computers." — Author Unknown "I like computers. It's the first time that I am endorsing a computer brand. I am very computer savvy, so this is certainly up my ally." — Shah Khan "Firms have been showing strong profit growth by getting by with fewer people, adding computers instead." — Rick Peterson "I don't care how big and fast computers are, they're not as big and fast as the world." — Herbert Simon "Like medieval peasants, computer manufacturers and millions of users are locked in a seemingly eternal lease with their evil landlord, who comes around every two years to collect billions of dollars of taxes in return for mediocre services" — Mark Harris "Network computers and set-top boxes will make a lot of noise. But for the most part, the market is still putting its feelers out." — James Staten Q: How many IBM cpu's does it take to do a logical right shift? \nA: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register. It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa. If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods. Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. (Dick Brandon) Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature. (Rich Kulawiec) Computer Science is the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory. COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance. Enough research will tend to support your theory. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. (H. H. Munro) The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland;" but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman. An elephant is a mouse with an operating system. Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job. The biggest difference between time and space is that you can't reuse time. (Merrick Furst) There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs. Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. (Donald Knuth) Klein bottle for rent--inquire within. To err is human; to make real mess, you need a computer. Garbage to ten decimal places is still garbage. There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, and those who do not understand it. "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics, 1949 "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 "I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processings is a fad that won't last out the year." - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice-Hall, 1957 "But what...is it good for?" - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of DEC "Hey, I know this! This is Unix!" - Jurassic Park "Indeed, it would not be an exaggeration to describe the history of the computer industry for the past decade as a massive effort to keep up with Apple." - Byte, December 1994 "So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" - Steve Jobs, cofounder of Apple Computer "I'm not dumb. I just have a command of throughly useless information." - Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes "From space, I saw the fragile blue earth without borders." - Onizuka If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG. Author: Bill Gates The desktop computer industry is dead. Innovation has virtually ceased. Microsoft dominates with very little innovation. That's over. Apple lost. The desktop market has entered the dark ages, and it's going to be in the dark ages for the next 10 years, or certainly for the rest of this decade. Author: Steve Jobs In some industry markets, high quality can be tied to making more money, but I am sure by now all of us know the computer industry is not like that. Author: Theo de Raadt In the computer industry, you've got an interdisciplinary team of people who can come together, attack the problem, and work in a collaborative style. You knock down one problem after another, cobble things together, and then hopefully turn the crank at some point. Author: Paul Allen I see a bright future for the biotechnology industry when it follows the path of the computer industry, the path that von Neumann failed to foresee, becoming small and domesticated rather than big and centralized. Author: Freeman Dyson My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. -Penn Jillett Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. -Author Unknown The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. -Andrew Brown The telephone wire, as we know it, has become too slow and too small to handle Internet traffic. It took 75 years for telephones to be used by 50 million customers, but it took only four years for the Internet to reach that many users. - Lori Valigra A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. -Mitch Ratcliffe Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. -Doug Larson 640K ought to be enough for anybody. -Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates, 1981 Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding. -Louis Gerstner Relying on the Government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping Tom to install your window blinds. -John Barlow The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. - B. F. Skinner Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. - Andy Rooney Getting Information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. -Mitchell Kapor I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. - IBM Chairman Thomas Watson, 1943 If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. - Scott Adams In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it. - Anonymous If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee. That will do them in. - Bradley's Bromide There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. - Jeremy S. Anderson One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard Any teacher that can be replaced by a computer, deserves to be. - David Thornburg Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software. We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology. - Carl Sagan If you tried to read every document on the web, then for each day's effort you would be a year further behind in your goal. There might be new technology, but technological progress itself was nothing new - and over the years it had not destroyed jobs, but created them. - Margaret Thatcher The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon. - Jerry Olson The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a little. - Porterfield Everything that can be invented has been invented. - Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 Any science or technology which is sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C. Clarke Never let a computer know you're in a hurry. A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God. - Alan J. Perlis I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Thomas Edison Get your feet off my desk, get out of here, you stink, and we're not going to buy your product. - Joe Keenan, President of Atari, in 1976 responding to Steve Jobs' offer to sell him rights to the new personal computer he and Steve Wozniak developed The Internet is a great way to get on the net. - Senator Bob Dole Computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhapsonly weigh 1 1/2 tons. From then on, when anything went wrong with a computer, we said it had bugs in it. - Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper, US Navy Technology is like fish. The longer it stays on the shelf, the less desirable it becomes. - Andrew Heller, IBM AOL is like the cockroach left after the nuclear bomb hits. They know how to survive. - Jan Horsfall, VP of marketing for Lycos How could this be a problem in a country where we have Intel and Microsoft? - Al Gore on Y2K The modern computer hovers between the obsolescent and the nonexistent. - Sydney Brenner in 1927 There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home. - Ken Olson (President of Digital Equipment Corporation) at the Convention of the World Future Society in Boston in 1977 During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. - Al Gore describing his 1986 legislation to interconnect five supercomputer centers (17 years after the first Internet servers hooked up) If Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell-check. - Former Vice President J. Danforth Quayle The day I made that statement, I was tired because I'd been up allnight inventing the Camcorder. - Al Gore attempting damage control funny computer jokes Things Technical Support Told Me Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy? That's right, not even McGyver could fix it." So -- what are you wearing? Duuuuuude! Bummer! Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n. Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the Federal Trade Commission. We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery. In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect. Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me! I'll try to be nicer, if you try to be smarter. Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics. Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney. funny computer jokes Funny Computer Jokes Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up your floppy disk? Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. Bob Dole was visiting his first chat room. Bob Dole suddenly realizes he's the only person in Luscious Leg Lounge using his real name. A Computer Novice says as she is lifting an RP06 disk pack from the drive: "Gee, how much does one of these weigh?" Me: "It depends on how much data is on the disk.... The caller believed it. On the phone at a major bookstore, the caller asked if we carried Linux for Dummies. "No," I replied, "but we do sell The Complete Idiot's Guide to Linux. The man groaned and said, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Linux is way over my head!" funny computer jokes If Dr. Seuss Ran the Computer Help Desk If Dr. Seuss ran the computer help desk, here's what he'd say: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report! If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash! If the label on the cable on the table at your house Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall. And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang! When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM. Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom! -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957 -- Ken Olson, president, chairman/founder of Digital Equipment Corp.,1977 "So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet."' -- Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and HP interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer If we built our buildings the same way we build our software, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization. Profanity is the one language all programmers know best. If you lie to the compiler, it will have its revenge. In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them. If it is useless, it will have to be documented. If it is useful, it will have to be maintained. There is not now and never will be a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs. Didja know? The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute. Computer programmers never die, they just GOSUB without RETURN. funny computer jokes Computer Programmers Drinking Song Sing out loud to the tune of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall." 100 little bugs in the code, \n100 bugs in the code, \nFix one bug, compile it again, \n101 little bugs in the code. \n101 little bugs in the code..... \nRepeat until BUGS = 0 A fellow programmer had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation. When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief then remarked, "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him." \nSurprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was. \n"Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you ... I get nervous around really smart people. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. A programmer is a disillusioned employee who used to think she liked computers. A computer programmer is someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant. I went to www.winzip.com and they had a download link for a download of winzip.zip Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw. A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer were riding together to an engineering seminar. Suddenly the car began jerking and shuttering. \nThe mechanical engineer, said, "I think the car has a faulty carburetor." \nThe electrical engineer said, "No, I think the problem lies with the alternator." \nThe computer engineer brightened up and said, "I know, let's stop the car, all get out of the car and get back in again!" Question: Why do they call it hyper text? \nAnswer: Too much JAVA. Question: Why was the computer so tired when it got home? \nAnswer: Because it had a hard drive! You know you've been working too much if you try to enter your password on the microwave. You know you've been working too much if you email your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back, "What's for dinner dad?" You know you've been working too much if you set up a web site for your daughter to sell Girl Scout Cookies. You know you've been working too much if you chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year. The computer company my wife worked for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that included a pair of cuff links. One was inscribed Ctrl (control) and the other Esc (escape), just as they look on a computer keyboard. "They would make a good present for any man," my wife commented to a colleague, "if only to remind him of the two things he can never have." AAAAA American Association Against Acronym Abuse PCMCIA:- People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! ISDN: It Still Does Nothing \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Loving Entity \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! SCSI: System Can't See It \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! DOS: Defective Operating System \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! IBM: I Blame Microsoft \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! DEC: Do Expect Cuts \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! CD-ROM: Consumer Device - Rendered Obsolete in Months \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too. \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! WWW: World Wide Wait \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! AMIGA: A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! RISC: Reduced Into Silly Code \nComputer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean! Your E-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com" You connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page" The bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop" Your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson" You've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone Your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT" Your computer is worth more than all your cars combined Your wife said "either she or the computer had to go"...and you still don't miss her You've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster for your beer You ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy" Your screen saver is a bitmap image of your computer You start all your E-mails with the words "Howdy y'all" Your spellchecker knows words like "Y'all," "Yonder," and "Reckon" Your cars sit in the yard because your garage is full of dead CPU's, printers, modems, and monitors Your belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5" hard drive Didja know? !! If an infinite number of programmers riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great computer programs in Braille. "Buy a Pentium XVII/90 so you can reboot faster." "2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2." "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." "Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes." "My software never has bugs. It just develops random features." "If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway." "Best file compression around: \"DEL *.*\" = 100% compression" "The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in." "If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something." "BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding" "BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!" "It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious." "Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..." "Every solution breeds new problems." "As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing." "Two wrongs are only the beginning." "Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS..." "All computers wait at the same speed." "DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors." "Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view." REMEMBER WHEN... REMEMBER WHEN... A Computer Was Something On TV REMEMBER WHEN... From A Science Fiction Show REMEMBER WHEN... A Window Was Something You Hated To Clean.... REMEMBER WHEN... And RAM Was The Cousin Of A Goat... REMEMBER WHEN... Meg Was The Name Of My Girlfriend REMEMBER WHEN... And Gig Was Your Middle Finger Upright REMEMBER WHEN... Now They All Mean Different Things REMEMBER WHEN... And That Really Mega Bytes REMEMBER WHEN... An Application Was For Employment REMEMBER WHEN... A Program Was A TV Show REMEMBER WHEN... A Cursor Used Profanity REMEMBER WHEN... A Keyboard Was A Piano REMEMBER WHEN... Memory Was Something That You Lost With Age REMEMBER WHEN... A CD Was A Bank Account REMEMBER WHEN... And If You Had A 3 1/2" Floppy REMEMBER WHEN... You Hoped Nobody Found Out REMEMBER WHEN... Compress Was Something You Did To The Garbage REMEMBER WHEN... Not Something You Did To A File REMEMBER WHEN... And If You Unzipped Anything In Public REMEMBER WHEN... You'd Be In Jail For A While REMEMBER WHEN... Log On Was Adding Wood To The Fire REMEMBER WHEN... Hard Drive Was A Long Trip On The Road REMEMBER WHEN... A Mouse Pad Was Where A Mouse Lived REMEMBER WHEN... And A Backup Happened To Your Commode REMEMBER WHEN... Cut You Did With A Pocket Knife REMEMBER WHEN... Paste You Did With Glue REMEMBER WHEN... A Web Was A Spider's Home REMEMBER WHEN... And A Virus Was The Flu REMEMBER WHEN... I Guess I'll Stick To My Pad And Paper REMEMBER WHEN... And The Memory In My Head REMEMBER WHEN... Nobody's Been Killed In A Computer Crash REMEMBER WHEN... But When It Happens They Wish They Were Dead REMEMBER WHEN... Working vacation REMEMBER WHEN... Religious tolerance REMEMBER WHEN... And the Number One Top Oxymoron REMEMBER WHEN... Microsoft Works REMEMBER WHEN... I hope life brings you much success. REMEMBER WHEN... I wish you a very happy day.