DonationCoder.com Forum
Main Area and Open Discussion => Living Room => Topic started by: Stoic Joker on December 02, 2009, 05:48 PM
-
On Wednesday of last week my son died at the age of 29 of an apparent heart-attack. Due to his service in the Navy he will be buried with full military honors.
-
I am sorry to hear that Stoic. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
-
i'm at a loss for words.. i know there is nothing I can say that can make any sense.
we are here in the forum and on the irc chat channel day or night and any time you just feel like you need to scream and curse the world and have someone hear you.
-
Oh my, that's terrible. A heart attack at 29? You just never know, I guess. I'm so sorry, you have my deepest condolences. :(
- Oshyan
-
I am very sorry to hear that. Will he be buried at Arlington? If so, do you know when the funeral is as I would like to attend as I always hate to see a fellow service-member pass.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
-
So sorry to hear that. My condolences.
-
Alexis and I both send you our deepest condolences.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
-
on the off chance that there is something we can do to help, please let us know.
-
That is a truly horrible thing to happen to any family - you and your family have my sincere sympathy and condolences for your loss. If there is anything at all I/we can do to help do ask.
-
I am truly sorry for your loss, my condolences to you and your family.
-
Stoic Joker - I am so sorry for your loss. Please let us know at DC if there is anything that we can do for you and your family.
My deepest condolences.
-
My deepest sympathy too....
-
Feel So sorry to hear that. My condolences.
-
SJ
May God give you courage to bear this loss
SKA
-
That is very sad and I am very sorry.
May you all be brought through to Peace.
-
my condolences too. more words seems so inappropriate here.
-
Oh man, very sorry to hear that :(
-
I am sorry for your loss :(
-
I am sorry to hear that. My condolences.
-
I'd like to add my own condolences. Always sad to hear that someone dies so unexpectedly.
-
I sympathize with what you are going through, Joker. We've had two over here in the last couple months. The holidays are not very joyful for us this year.
-
He was so young...(https://www.donationcoder.com/forum/esmileys/gen3/1Small/beksa.gif) I also want to express my condolences.
-
Thanks guys, My wife had to fly to Michigan alone while I stayed here to babysit the dogs & my father in-law (who is visiting for the holidays...), so I've been a bit too stressed for "safe" posting. She is back safely now and has found some peace...but watching her standing there clutching the flag the military presented her with - and knowing what it represented is not an image (I fear) that I will ever shake.
-
I just read this.
I, too, am sorry for your loss. You have my condolences as well.
-
Hi SJ,
I just found this thread. I am glad you let us know. It shows you know we care. You are a valuable gift to the DC community. I hope we can be the same for you.
I lost a child too, but she was very young. Not that I am your best friend, but you can PM me if you need to talk.
I hope it won't be too long before you can enjoy the sunrise again.
Your friend,
Calvin
-
Hm, I find it quite impious to state something about death in your own family in a public board.
jm2c
-
tux, i don't know what could possibly be wrong about reaching out to friends and telling them about someone you have lost.
-
I wouldn't call an anonymous board "my friends". Maybe some of us are. But death is usually not a topic for public discussions, is it?
Personal grief is not made for gathering replies.
You see, that's just my POV. No offense intended.
-
No offense intended.
-Tuxman
and yet it was taken...
You may someday find, if you succeed in getting older, that tact is a good thing...and that being "right" is not nearly as important as being kind.
-
I wouldn't call an anonymous board "my friends". Maybe some of us are. But death is usually not a topic for public discussions, is it?
...
-Tuxman
Hi Tuxman,
Not in today's social economy. We have become a local and global society of locks, burglar alarms and privacy fences and this has internalized like osmosis into the very essence of our beings. As it turns out, I am writing a paper on the "Invisible Privacy Fences" right now. I will link you to it when I am done (Q1 '10), if you like, but I digress.
The crux is that this is a contemporary phenomenon. Life did not used to be that way. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting some Pollyanna-style delusion of sticking our heads in the sand. There is badness in the world we should be alert to when necessary. I am saying that the conception of "community" has been suffering an ever-advancing anemia with the cancer of vox populi vox dei.
It is irefutable that urbanization has, does and will degrade human relationships by ever-expanding usurpation of the capacity of individuals (neighbors) to provide what others need through public "services;" thereby destroying the womb of community adhesion. Simply, urbanization aborts the unborn child of community by displacing the nurturing habitat. Community never gets a chace to form, let alone grow which leaves us impotent and ineffective. This is a maxim well understood by "others" that would leverage their agendas.
Let's test this and see if it holds...
- Do you run out of your house in the middle of the night ready with bucket-in-hand or hose to bring aid to your neighbors down the street when you hear the siren of the fire truck a block away?
- When you hear your neighbor (or even friend) planning to put up a large shed (or, ironically, a privacy fence) in his back yard next Saturday, do you arrive at his house uninvited just in time for a hearty breakfast in your overalls with gloves, hammer and saw in hand?
- When you hear of the loss of a child in a neighborhood family do you take days off and make sure they know that you are there for them without thinking about what it will cost you at the end of the week in lost wages? Are you even close enough to your neighbors to know when a loss has occurred?
Why?
The answers are pretty obvious, except in very rare circumstances. The questions were rhetorical. It is the nature of the desensitized culture we have all been duped by in this age unless we examine it further. When we stand in our pajamas, our feet wet with dew, in our front yard after midnight distantly viewing the conflagration and the commotion, we feel helpless and emasculated. We stand with our arms limp at our side, useless to render aid. Not because we want to, but because we are stripped of purpose at the moment. Our natural inclination to assist has been lobotomized from our essence by the effect of the juggernaut of public works and urbanized economies. In our displacement we don't realize how gladly our neighbor's wife would be to "add another plate" being girded up in knowing her husband won't be alone all day in his task. In the same vein, the timid smile that would creep on to the face of your neighbor when he opens the door and sees you standing on his porch, realizing that somebody cares about his tragic loss can not be provided by or explained with words.
Perhaps the scenarios I am suggesting may seem far-fetched and unrealistic to you. That would be no surprise, but I assure you this is the way life existed and still exists where the membranes of "progress' did not and have not been able to consume life-cells in their phagocytosis. People used to be neighbors in this way as I describe. I have heard about it from grandmas and grandpas. I have read it in American and foreign histories. I have seen it in the lives of my parent's generation. I have lived it for twenty years of my fifty. One would be considered maladjusted if one did not ask their neighbor for help or let on that they were planning to raise a barn. Society is supposed to be vibrant with caring.
Please do not feel that I am condemning you in any way. I anticipated that someone would find Stoic Joker's expression a bit beyond the acceptable norms in the public arena. I only wanted you to know one reason why you felt about it the way you did. The good news is if you have discovered something in this that, although it seemed odd at first, now seems to be growing on you then you are seeing the first gleams of dawn about what this DC Community is all about and why Stoic Joker felt the need to share his loss.
I realize I have rambled some. Perhaps a careful review of this thread (https://www.donationcoder.com/forum/index.php?topic=20895.0) may prove instructive.
[Edit - formatting and additions.]
-
It is irefutable that urbanization has, does and will degrade human relationships by ever-expanding usurpation of the capacity of individuals (neighbors) to provide what others need through public "services;" thereby destroying the womb of community adhesion.-CodeTRUCKER
My actual intent was the global mourning culture. If someone dies, it's on the TV and in every paper and "the world" is so sad and everything without even knowing the dead person. This is not actually the way a thing like sympathy should work IMO, and it is a disgusting evolution forced by begging-for-more-audience media, so over all the years I got a sane reluctance against mentioning death in public forums. I even think it is not O.K. to hold public obsequies for people like Michael Jackson, but this is another point...
But you are right: I am (relatively) new to this board, so I don't know much about people's relationships here. So if we are all real friends, it is alright for me and I'll do my best to become a part of them. But all that... stuff made me somewhat immune here.
I'm sorry.
edited:
Haven't read the linked thread yet, but I will, thank you...
-
Tuxman, thanks for listening and welcome to a new (old) dimension.