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Main Area and Open Discussion => Living Room => Topic started by: superboyac on October 06, 2011, 01:05 PM

Title: work bathroom story
Post by: superboyac on October 06, 2011, 01:05 PM

Check this out:
The floor of the building I work on is full of engineers, mostly male by about a 90:10 ratio.  So the men's bathrooms are very busy.  Furthermore, we don't have a kitchenette or anything like that, so a lot of people use the bathroom to do various activities such as:  washing dishes, brushing teeth, gargling, shaving, the whole nine yards.  The urinals (three of them) are uncomfortably close together (literally an inch between the edges with no partitions) so the middle one is never used since you can't even really spread your legs to should width, which is the default urinal position.  Also, being engineers, who are "different" sort of folk, the bathroom environment is disgusting.  Awful sounds, awful smells, and the worst part is that it's always packed.  To make matters worse, the janitor cleans the bathroom (or does some work in there) multiple times a day, which I find weird because it's just weird to run into the janitor in the bathroom more than once a day, and multiple times a week.  And if you're already in there taking a shit, he might just come in anyway slothering the mop around and banging on the doors and slapping the toilet paper canisters.

As a result, I found the bathroom on the floor below to be much more pleasant.  No engineers, and a lot of women.  So the bathroom hardly ever has anyone in there, and it's always clean.  So I've been doing this for a while.

Well, today I go down and there's a note pasted on the inside wall so people who take a dump can read the passive-aggressive whatever.  Apparently, it bothers some men that there are people from other floors using their bathroom.  The not demanded that I eat more bran, or something like that.  It also asked me to make my shit smell better, which i would love to know how to do.  Finally, something not very coherent about taking webcam pictures and posting it somewhere, which is a joke of course, but a pretty passive aggressive one.

So now I'm bothering people with my bathroom habits.  Never expected that one.

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Shades on October 06, 2011, 01:20 PM

You are an engineer...make a toilet that freeze-dries the "content" instead of flush. Then move the content to a location where it is out of nostril reach.

O yeah, and automatically lights a match too   :P

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: f0dder on October 06, 2011, 02:29 PM

You are an engineer...

-Shades (October 06, 2011, 01:20 PM)

Is he? With bathroom sensitivities like that, I'd expect marketing :P

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Stoic Joker on October 06, 2011, 02:31 PM

Hay, if all they want a is nicer movement, give it to them.

Shit in the sink and leave a bow on it.

 :D

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: superboyac on October 06, 2011, 02:52 PM

Hay, if all they want a is nicer movement, give it to them.

Shit in the sink and leave a bow on it.

 :D

-Stoic Joker (October 06, 2011, 02:31 PM)

Oh man!!  Ultra gross!!!!

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Stoic Joker on October 06, 2011, 02:56 PM

Hay, if all they want a is nicer movement, give it to them.

Shit in the sink and leave a bow on it.

 :D

-Stoic Joker (October 06, 2011, 02:31 PM)

Oh man!!  Ultra gross!!!!

-superboyac (October 06, 2011, 02:52 PM)

It's all about upping the bar... ;)

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Shades on October 06, 2011, 03:29 PM

@Stoic Joker:
You were clearly thinking; 'Let it sink in....'  :P

As you have to something about the smell when the sink is full, create some sweet smelling birthday cake candles and use them as well  :D

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: superboyac on October 06, 2011, 04:11 PM

Here's how you deal with a full sink:

 :drinksmiley:

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: nudone on October 06, 2011, 04:26 PM

I think this is blog worthy, call it The Engineers Log or something, I think you could develop it into quite a saga if you try - should be a most amusing read.

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: f0dder on October 06, 2011, 04:34 PM

call it The Engineers Log or something

-nudone (October 06, 2011, 04:26 PM)

...no wonder they complain ;)

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: superboyac on October 06, 2011, 04:41 PM

call it The Engineers Log or something

-nudone (October 06, 2011, 04:26 PM)

...no wonder they complain ;)

-f0dder (October 06, 2011, 04:34 PM)

;D

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Stoic Joker on October 06, 2011, 05:16 PM

@Stoic Joker:
You were clearly thinking; 'Let it sink in....'  :P

As you have to something about the smell when the sink is full, create some sweet smelling birthday cake candles and use them as well  :D

-Shades (October 06, 2011, 03:29 PM)

I'm going to overlook the scurrilous accusation that I was (or would ever be caught) thinking clearly ... Because you are indeed correct in that the candles would make a perfect over-the-topping.
 :Thmbsup:

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: 40hz on October 06, 2011, 06:38 PM

You are an engineer...

-Shades (October 06, 2011, 01:20 PM)

Is he? With bathroom sensitivities like that, I'd expect marketing :P

-f0dder (October 06, 2011, 02:29 PM)

(https://www.donationcoder.com/forum/esmileys/gen3/5Large/TFR1E0.gif)

(Sorry I'm laughing SB. But that was funny!)

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: superboyac on October 06, 2011, 07:17 PM

You are an engineer...

-Shades (October 06, 2011, 01:20 PM)

Is he? With bathroom sensitivities like that, I'd expect marketing :P

-f0dder (October 06, 2011, 02:29 PM)

(https://www.donationcoder.com/forum/esmileys/gen3/5Large/TFR1E0.gif)

(Sorry I'm laughing SB. But that was funny!)

-40hz (October 06, 2011, 06:38 PM)

That was the point!  Maybe I'll finally get the balls to do an open mic standup: the sad engineer.

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Edvard on October 07, 2011, 06:53 AM

I have worked night shift for most of my working life, so a busy bathroom was never a concern.
However, I do have an interesting bathroom story:

One place I worked at was in an older multi-story office building downtown, the kind with a marble-column facade and brass fittings in the elevators.
One night around break time, a female co-worker came to me and said "come here, I want to show you something".  :huh:
She was the 'weird' girl on shift that I was on friendly terms with, and had gotten to know her well enough that she actually wanted to show me some curiosity, and not making overtures of fraternization.
She went to the shift manager's office (not unusual, it was sparse,always open, and shared between 3 shift managers and various personnel) and grabbed a key from the top drawer.
She then took me to the elevator and we went up 3 floors.
When the door opened, we got out and she led me around a corner where a women's bathroom was.
"It's ok, there's nobody here" she said and opened the door.
It. was. immaculate.
White marble counters and floors, brightly lit, a modest chandelier hanging from a cathedral ceiling, the whole 9 yards and then some.
Most curious was a wooden door at the other end, marked with a brass plaque as "The Quiet Room".
My co-worker took me to the door and opened it with the key she had purloined.
Inside was a simple carpeted room about 6 feet by 10 with two orange tweed-covered chairs, a couch, two of those old two-tier coffee tables popular in the '70s with a desk lamp and stylish ashtray on each one.
A single large window over the couch offered a heady view of the city northward.
She kneeled on the couch to face the window, opened it, lit a cigarette and said "Isn't this place great? I wish it were on our floor".
I lit one for myself and joined her gazing over the city lights, chit-chatting until break time was over.
One of my best cigarette breaks ever, and we only had opportunity to go there twice again after that before she went back to working on day shift.
A year later, the office closest to that ladies' room expanded their office into the space the "Quiet Room" occupied.
Ah, memories...

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Renegade on October 07, 2011, 08:27 AM

Hay, if all they want a is nicer movement, give it to them.

Shit in the sink and leave a bow on it.

 :D

-Stoic Joker (October 06, 2011, 02:31 PM)

Bwahahahaha~! I love it~! ;D

Better after a spicy, greasy meal I suppose. :P

It reminds me of the old "fecalgram.com" site. (defunct)

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: superboyac on October 07, 2011, 10:41 AM

I have worked night shift for most of my working life, so a busy bathroom was never a concern.
However, I do have an interesting bathroom story:

One place I worked at was in an older multi-story office building downtown, the kind with a marble-column facade and brass fittings in the elevators.
One night around break time, a female co-worker came to me and said "come here, I want to show you something".  :huh:
She was the 'weird' girl on shift that I was on friendly terms with, and had gotten to know her well enough that she actually wanted to show me some curiosity, and not making overtures of fraternization.
She went to the shift manager's office (not unusual, it was sparse,always open, and shared between 3 shift managers and various personnel) and grabbed a key from the top drawer.
She then took me to the elevator and we went up 3 floors.
When the door opened, we got out and she led me around a corner where a women's bathroom was.
"It's ok, there's nobody here" she said and opened the door.
It. was. immaculate.
White marble counters and floors, brightly lit, a modest chandelier hanging from a cathedral ceiling, the whole 9 yards and then some.
Most curious was a wooden door at the other end, marked with a brass plaque as "The Quiet Room".
My co-worker took me to the door and opened it with the key she had purloined.
Inside was a simple carpeted room about 6 feet by 10 with two orange tweed-covered chairs, a couch, two of those old two-tier coffee tables popular in the '70s with a desk lamp and stylish ashtray on each one.
A single large window over the couch offered a heady view of the city northward.
She kneeled on the couch to face the window, opened it, lit a cigarette and said "Isn't this place great? I wish it were on our floor".
I lit one for myself and joined her gazing over the city lights, chit-chatting until break time was over.
One of my best cigarette breaks ever, and we only had opportunity to go there twice again after that before she went back to working on day shift.
A year later, the office closest to that ladies' room expanded their office into the space the "Quiet Room" occupied.
Ah, memories...

-Edvard (October 07, 2011, 06:53 AM)

Beautiful story!!

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: superboyac on October 07, 2011, 10:41 AM

OK, here's the actual thing!
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: skwire on October 07, 2011, 10:55 AM

I'm sure the DC Collective can come up with an appropriate retort.   :P

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Renegade on October 07, 2011, 11:34 AM

OK, here's the actual thing! (see attachment in previous post (https://www.donationcoder.com/forum/index.php?topic=28264.msg264380#msg264380))

-superboyac (October 07, 2011, 10:41 AM)

That's just simply rude. I'd write on in in big red marker:

Do you need to ask? Totally NSFW...

GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS DOUCHEWAD.

Or perhaps something slightly shorter, like just the first 3 words.

Oh... what would really make it super cool is to...

Yeah... NSFW

Write on the paper:

GO FUCK YOURSELF~!

In shit! Schmear it all in shit! Hahahahah~! :P

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: f0dder on October 07, 2011, 11:35 AM

Hahhaahahahha, Renegade - you're so sick! Lovin' it :)

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Renegade on October 07, 2011, 11:41 AM

Hahhaahahahha, Renegade - you're so sick! Lovin' it :)

-f0dder (October 07, 2011, 11:35 AM)

Y'know... Eating lots of peanuts and corn first would be just the best~! :P ;D

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: superboyac on October 07, 2011, 11:44 AM

Hahhaahahahha, Renegade - you're so sick! Lovin' it :)

-f0dder (October 07, 2011, 11:35 AM)

OH man!  That would be the ultimate response, though.

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Stoic Joker on October 07, 2011, 11:54 AM

Not entirely sure how these NSFW tags work but...

Spoiler

Comment removed to protect the curious from themselves...

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: skwire on October 07, 2011, 11:55 AM

If they're going to bring kazoos, I say you bring a trumpet or an air horn to make sure they ALL know you're about to perform some 45° angle-bombing.

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: mouser on October 07, 2011, 12:12 PM

I think people may be getting a little carried away with the NSFW stuff.. let's remember we have a diverse readership.

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: f0dder on October 07, 2011, 12:18 PM

Stoic Joker: we need a 'Like' button on DC ;)

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: nudone on October 07, 2011, 12:21 PM

OK, here's the actual thing! (see attachment in previous post (https://www.donationcoder.com/forum/index.php?topic=28264.msg264380#msg264380))

-superboyac (October 07, 2011, 10:41 AM)

That's pretty funny anyway.

I don't think I'd get too offended by it or take it too personal - it sounds kind of jokey to me. Can't be that serious when they are attempting humour with the kazoos and web-cam stuff. In fact, to me, they sound like they admire you - they are probably quite jealous of your more manly toilet smells. Maybe they are even a little intimidated so feel they've had to make a bit of a joke of it all - they don't know who you are, you could be the psychotic-sh*tter that will gladly punch their teeth out of their heads and into the nearest urinal.

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Renegade on October 07, 2011, 12:22 PM

Not entirely sure how these NSFW tags work but...

-Stoic Joker (October 07, 2011, 11:54 AM)

Bwahahahaha~! :P

Stoic Joker: we need a 'Like' button on DC ;)

-f0dder (October 07, 2011, 12:18 PM)

+1

I think people may be getting a little carried away with the NSFW stuff.. let's remember we have a diverse readership.

-mouser (October 07, 2011, 12:12 PM)

It's just such a crazy topic... But... I promise to behave from now on. :)

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Renegade on October 07, 2011, 12:25 PM

OK, here's the actual thing! (see attachment in previous post (https://www.donationcoder.com/forum/index.php?topic=28264.msg264380#msg264380))

-superboyac (October 07, 2011, 10:41 AM)

That's pretty funny anyway.

I don't think I'd get too offended by it or take it too personal - it sounds kind of jokey to me. Can't be that serious when they are attempting humour with the kazoos and web-cam stuff. In fact, to me, they sound like they admire you - they are probably quite jealous of your more manly toilet smells. Maybe they are even a little intimidated so feel they've had to make a bit of a joke of it all - they don't know who you are, you could be the psychotic-sh*tter that will gladly punch their teeth out of their heads and into the nearest urinal.

-nudone (October 07, 2011, 12:21 PM)

I got the exact opposite when reading it. I heard an arrogant, pompous (I'm behaving now :P ) blah blah blah. I didn't find it in the least bit funny.

It's interesting how we can get the exact opposite message from the same thing.

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: mwb1100 on October 07, 2011, 12:49 PM

I'm just curious about who's so anal that they're keeping track of where people using the restroom are coming from?

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: nudone on October 07, 2011, 01:14 PM

I got the exact opposite when reading it. I heard an arrogant, pompous (I'm behaving now :P ) blah blah blah. I didn't find it in the least bit funny.

It's interesting how we can get the exact opposite message from the same thing.

-Renegade (October 07, 2011, 12:25 PM)

It is difficult to know what the tone is meant to be, perhaps that ought to be Superboy's response "Please add emoticons to your statement next time as I really don't know whether to laugh or just take a sh*t in your sink. Have a nice day."

[My reading of the statement is probably influenced by the people I've worked with in the (distant) past renovating houses. Mainly the boss (an old school friend) often took great delight in trying to upset me with nasty comments - this was to "get us all through the day and have a bit of a crack". In an office environment you'd most likely call it "bullying". The thing is, although the comments were often carefully constructed to be as insulting as possible they were also quite funny - I never knew if he despised me (as that's what it sounded like) or he just had a very warped and malicious sense of humour (or a mental problem). I would attempt to upset him in equal measure but he seemed impervious to it. (We're still friends and he still has the same charming manner).]

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: tomos on October 07, 2011, 02:29 PM

so,
do you drink a lot of Guinness Superboyac?

:drinksmiley:

-superboyac (October 06, 2011, 04:11 PM)

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: superboyac on October 07, 2011, 03:09 PM

I got the exact opposite when reading it. I heard an arrogant, pompous (I'm behaving now :P ) blah blah blah. I didn't find it in the least bit funny.

It's interesting how we can get the exact opposite message from the same thing.

-Renegade (October 07, 2011, 12:25 PM)

Yeah, me too.  I know these people, and they are not happy or joking about this at all.  Quite a judgemental bunch and on top of that, individuals feel like they "own" certain things that they have absolutely zero ownership over.  We'll see what happens.  I predict that this is not the end of it.

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: nudone on October 08, 2011, 03:40 AM

In that case I recommend you completely ignore them and their message. No point creating a scene nor a situation that could get out of hand. Not acknowledging their note will spoil their fun more than responding to it.

There is also the "correct" procedure of taking this to someone higher and making a complaint. This kind of thing isn't meant to be tolerated these days, is it?

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: Renegade on October 08, 2011, 06:34 AM

There is also the "correct" procedure of taking this to someone higher and making a complaint.

-nudone (October 08, 2011, 03:40 AM)

But that's no fun... :(

This kind of thing isn't meant to be tolerated these days, is it?

-nudone (October 08, 2011, 03:40 AM)

No. It's not meant to be tolerated. It's meant to be responded to, with funny messages involving peanuts and corn~! :P ;D

Title: Re: work bathroom story
Post by: app103 on October 08, 2011, 05:34 PM

Reading the original post, I can not help but keep thinking of this episode (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benefits_%28How_I_Met_Your_Mother%29) of How I Met Your Mother.  ;D