Passwords are like underwear; you don’t let people see it, you should change it very often, and you shouldn’t share it with strangers – Chris Pirillo Computers are useless. They can only give you answers – Pablo Picasso Computers are like Old Testament Gods; lots of rules and no mercy. – Joseph Campbell I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Isaac Asimov The online truly secure system is one that is powered off, cast in a block of concrete and sealed in a lead-lined room with armed guards. – Gene Spafford Being able to break security doesn’t make you a hacker anymore than being able to hotwire cars makes you an automotive engineer. – Eric Raymond If you spend more on coffee than on IT security, you will be hacked. What’s more, you deserve to be hacked. – Richard Clarke I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We’ve created life in our own image. – Stephen Hawking It used to be expensive to make things public and cheap to make them private. Now it’s expensive to make things private and cheap to make them public – Clay Shirky Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us. – Jean Rostand To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so. – Robert Orben In the future, computers may weigh no more than 1.5 tonnes. – Popular Mechanics, 1949 Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window. – Steve Wozniak Securing a computer system has traditionally been a battle of wits: the penetrator tries to find the holes, and the designer tries to close them. Gosser Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. – Edsger Dijkstra It’s hardware that makes a machine fast. It’s software that makes a fast computer slow. – Craig Bruce The internet? We are not interested in it. – Bill Gates, 1993 I am not out to destroy Microsoft, that would be a completely unintended side effect. – Linus Torvalds (creator of theLinux operating system) Two years from now, spam will be solved – Bill Gates, 2004 Amateurs hack systems, professionals hack people. – Bruce Schneier The problem of viruses is temporary and will be solved in two years. – John McAfee, 1988 (founder of McAfee Antivirus) "The familiar dot (.) symbol from Internet addresses shall be used on this website to denote the end of a sentence." - I'm not sure where I saw this one. William Gibson: "The future is already here, it just isn't evenly distributed." "When the customer demands the impossible, they will end up buying from the guy who offers them the impossible. And the results, though tragic, are sadly predictable." (Robert A. Heinlien) "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." (Rich Cook) All models are wrong; Some are useful. For every complex problem, there exists a simple solution, which is wrong. \nCorollary: It isn't rocket science. Well, unless of course you're NASA. "The last 10% of any software project will take 90% of the budgeted time. The first 90% will take the other 90%" Why did the programmer confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. - Charles Babbage "The most successful method of programming is to begin a program as simply as possible, test it, and then add to the program until it performs the required job." -- The PDP-8/e Small Computer Handbook (DEC, 1972) - Chapter 9, Page 9-64 "A specification that cannot be fit on one 8.5 x 11 inch piece of paper cannot be understood." -- Mark Andis Computers are high-speed idiots, programmed by low-speed idiots The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. -- Nathaniel Borenstein The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change. -- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers "There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult." -- C. A. R. Hoare A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. (John Gall) Working software is the primary measure of progress. (The Agile Manifesto) In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is. (don't know where this is from) "An unplanned project takes twice as long to complete, a well planned project takes three times as long." Computers let you make more mistakes than any other invention in history....with the possible exception of handguns and tequila. Torture your data long enough and it will confess to anything. -- a statistician acquaintance of mine "Two things have come out of Berkley, Unix and Acid, we do not belive this to be a coincidence" My favorite is "Programming is the process of converting caffeine into error messages" (not sure of the source, seen on Ward's Wiki) Vim: it's like software that's 95% easter eggs Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. Linux sucks twice as fast and 10 times more reliably, and since you have the source, it's your fault. -Ca1v1n "I am Pentium of Borg. Division is futile - you will be approximated". Those who decry spam are cnuts. Tom "it's working as coded" - my managers sincere attempt to explain a bug in my code to his manager a few years ago. Realist Any technology that surpasses 50% penetration will never double again (in any number of months). Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction - from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work. In most Microsoft EULAs, it states you can't give the software to nations or individuals involved in making atomic, bacteriological, or chemical weapons. Do they mean *besides* the US? My boss, for instance, really believes that he is "solving the problems when others don't understand the question." In reality, he is often the problem that must be solved by his subordinates. He would never believe that he is not part of the "engine of change." He's really more like the "wheel chocks of ignorance." Intelligence: Finding an error in a Knuth text. \nStupidity: Cashing that $2.56 check you got. \nQuick, Cheap or Good. Choose Two. It's possible to do that. If you've got a basket with 3 oranges in it and you take 5 out, then you have to put 2 oranges in again in order for it to be empty. Peter Gutmann You think because you understand _one_ you must understand _two_. Because one and one make two. But you must also understand _and_. Sufi Sage Information wants to be beer, or something like that. Put to scale, the head of a disk drive is like a 747 jumbo jet flying at mach 4 at an altitude of 1/4" over the rocky mountains. Any sufficiently complicated C or Fortran program contains an ad hoc informally-specified bug-ridden slow implementation of half of Common Lisp. Greenspuns 10th Rule mainframe n. An obsolete device still used by thousands of obsolete companies serving billions of obsolete customers and making huge obsolete profits for their obsolete shareholders. And this year's run twice as fast as last year's. "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense." - Edsgar Dijkstra Q. Why weren't the Romans good C programmers? \nA. Because they had no way to return zero. \nJohn Topley (www.johntopley.com) Software salesmen and used-car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying. The C language combines all the power of assembly language with all the ease-of-use of assembly language. The determined programmer can write a Assembly program in any language. Computers let you make more mistakes than any other invention in history. With the possible exception of handguns and tequila. Diagnostic message from Apple's MPW C compiler: "Too many errors on one line (make fewer)". Mark Pearce I wrote an 6809 assembler. One instruction is called "SEX" which takes no argument(operand). There should be a warning for the redundant argument. I was tempted to use the following error message: \n"Sex? No argument!" \n(Later I decided not to and I got an A+ for the project. ) \nS.C. You should use iterative development only on projects that you want to succeed - Martin Fowler Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature - Rick Kulawiec Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. - Donald Knuth Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again. - F. P. Jones Management dictated that no bugs should ever make it to production. We no longer put code in production. If the quantum view of the world is correct, does it mean that testers create bugs by observing them? If no one had reinvented the wheel, we would still be stuck with those impractical wooden wheels... - Willem van den Ende on the refactoring list There can't be a crisis today, my schedule is already full. You know you're on the right track with code changes when you spend the majority of your time deleting code. It's not about size. It's about smells. - Ron Jeffries If it stinks, change it. - Grandma Beck, discussing child-rearing philosophy If it's less than six pages, I'll read it. If it's more than six inches thick, I can use it as a doorstop. Anything in between is useless. Remember that there is no code faster than no code. - Taligent's Guide to Designing Programs Honey, I just need to debug this program and be home in 5 minutes. How does a project get to be a year late? - One day at a time. -Fred Brooks, The Mythical Man-Month A computer programmer is a device for turning coffee into bugs. - Bram Moolenaar A computer programmer is a device for turning requirements into undocumented features. It runs on cola, pizza and Dilbert cartoons. - Bram Moolenaar Life is like a box of checkins. You never know what you're gonna get. Quality means that the customer keeps coming back, not the product. Shipping is a feature but shipping quality is an even better feature. I feel obliged to add some Larry Wall quotes here: There's often more than one correct thing. \nThere's often more than one right thing. \nThere's often more than one obvious thing. Unix is like a toll road on which you have to stop every 50 feet to pay another nickel. But hey! You only feel 5 cents poorer each time. We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when it's necessary to compromise. Optimizations always bust things, because all optimizations are, in the long haul, a form of cheating, and cheaters eventually get caught. I think you'll find that, while we all know what it should have been, we all know it should have been something different from what everybody else thinks it should have been. I do quarrel with logic that says, "Stupid people are associated with X, therefore X is stupid." Stupid people are associated with everything. Windows messagebox: "Abort child? YES NO CANCEL" Read somewhere on the net: "Unix makes easy things hard and hard things possible. Windows makes easy things easy and hard things $19.95" "THIS IS MAD" -- The MAD compiler. As I recall that message only occurred in some error situations where it couldn't figure out what else to say. Other errors could cause it to dump a full page text picture of Alfred E. Newman to the line printer. "Java's a drug you rub on venture capitalists to make them crazy." -- John Doerr, (JavaOne 1996) "Where choice begins, Paradise ends" -- Arthur Miller (playwright & usability expert?) C programmers know the cost of everything and the value of nothing. / Lisp programmers know the value of everything and the cost of nothing. Symbols are for the symbol-minded. "It's a good idea, but it's a new idea; therefore, I fear it and must reject it." -- Homer Simpson Consistency is required in some cases but not in others. Christo - thankyou, absolutely fantastic! Several of those are going onto my wall ASAP! "Anybody got a problem looking for a solution?" Vanity plate on a programmer's new Volkswagen Beetle reads "FEATURE". My computer's so stupid, it thinks that 1 + 1 = 10. (Source unkown) A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. \n\n"House" is feminine - "la maison." \n"Pencil" is masculine - "le crayon." \n\nA student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" \nInstead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" \nshould be a masculine or a feminine noun. \n\nEach group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. \n\nThe men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because: \n1. No one but their creator understands their intern al logic \n2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers, is incomprehensible to everyone else \n3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review \n4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer") because: \n1. In order to do anything with them, you first have to turn them on \n2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves \n3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem \n4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. \n\nThe women won. Python: executable pseudocode. Perl: executable line noise. I'd just like to take this moment to point out that C has all the expressive power of two dixie cups and a string. -- Jamie Zawinski, in the source code for xkeycaps C++ : an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog. Programming in C++ is premature optimization. Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons. Will write code that writes code that writes code for food. -- Martin Rodgers Computer Science is the only discipline in which we view adding a new wing to a building as being maintenance - Jim Horning Anyone who attempts to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course, living in a state of sin. - John Von Neumann Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Picasso In case you haven't realized it, building computer systems is hard. - Martin Fowler Mike Swieton “If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0“ - Forget where I saw this. “I have two programming speeds. The other one is slower” - A post in one of the Linux dev forums. "Extreme Programming is a only hit with the MTV generation because most have attention span of a humming bird on methamphetamines." Marc The significance of 1729? \nIt's the smallest positive integer that can be expressed as two different sums of cubes: 1^3 + 12^3 = 9^3 + 10^3 = 1729 Pat Rice Somewhat offtopic, but the 1729 bit comes from an anecdote about the Indian mathematician Srinivasa Ramanujan. Some acquaintance (Hardy?) of his came to see him, and happened to be in a cab numbered 1729. His acquintance made some offhand joke about how uninteresting the number was, and Ramanujan pointed out the above fact on the spot. As for the bit about "programmers turning caffeine into code" - this is a reworking of a joke Paul Erdos first made about mathematicians "being machines for turning caffeine into theorems". This coming from Erdos, a lifelong meth addict and general nutball. timmy Problem exists between keyboard and chair! tapiwa The odds on a compression claim turning out to be true are always identical to the compression ratio claimed. - Bruce Schneier, 2002 God is real - unless declared integer. More than 10 years ago I read this somewhere, thought it was kinda funny but didn't really understand it. Years later, at university, I took a Fortran introductory course, which was absolutely useless, except for one thing: understanding this line. Roland Weigelt 'why are programmers bad lovers?' - because they always optimize for performance. typo: "Robert A. Heinlien" Heinlein hank roberts You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me - unknown Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots. - unknown It is an I.D.10.T error. In a room full of top software designers, if two agree on the same thing, that's a majority. - Robert Glass Old hardware becomes obsolete; old software goes into production every night. - Robert Glass Both taken from the book "Facts and Fallacies of Software Engineering" Candan Akyol Intelligence: Finding an error in a Knuth text. Stupidity: Cashing that $2.56 check you got. I'm not against reinventing the wheel, but it's best if you have some experience before you do that, otherwise you'll end up with a triangular shaped rock. 256 Terabytes should be enough for anyone. - W. Gates IV, 2032, from The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said, Vol. 32, 2099. This movie has us believe that raptors aren’t just intelligent, they’re super intelligent - smarter than primates - even smarter than Sam Neill! (Definitely smarter than the screenwriters.) Weren’t they just "clever" in the first movie? Now they all gather and confer before killing someone. At this rate, by JP4 they’ll all be using Debian Linux, wearing monocles and twirling mustaches: "Well, Dr. Grant, we meet again. You shan’t escape me a third time!" - JBowz15, on Jurassic Park III. computer science n. [Origin: possibly Prof. P. B. Fellgett's rhetorical question, "Is computer science?"] A study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking the precision of the former and the success of the latter. People say Pandora's Box was evil, but they're wrong. The stuff inside it was evil. The box ain't nothin' but a box. - Fundamental Premise of OOD. Friends don't let friends drink and su(1). - Kevin Harris. A program should follow the `Law of Least Astonishment'. What is this law? It is simply that the program should always respond to the user in the way that astonishes him least. - The Tao of Programming. Christo Fogelberg Bah, my mistake - posted some of the same ones again - I forgot I'd posted to this thread. Christo Fogelberg TOP 25 TECHNOLOGY QUOTES Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. -Albert Einstein "I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." -Albert Einstein Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler. -Albert Einstein Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards. -Aldous Huxley "The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again." -AL Goodman The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. -B. F. Skinner Contingencies of Reinforcement, 1969 It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.-Clive James One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. -Elbert Hubbard, The Roycroft Dictionary and Book of Epigrams, 1923 If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. -Isaac Newton Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. -Jeff Pesis Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. -John F. Kennedy The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people. -Karl Marx "Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers." -Leonard Brandwein All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness.-Mark Kennedy Man is the lowest-cost, 150-pound, nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. -NASA in 1965 "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." -Pablo Picasso "To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer." -Paul Ehrlich Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. -Rich Cook Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork. -Sam Ewing “Technology has the shelf life of a banana.” -Scott McNealy Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. -Steve Wozniak Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless. -Thomas Alva Edison Anyone who puts a small gloss on a fundamental technology, calls it proprietary, and then tries to keep others from building on it, is a thief. -Tim O'Reilly The empires of the future are the empires of the mind. -Winston Churchill Top 50 Funny Computer Quotes "Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google." "Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows." "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." "COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods." "Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity." "To err is human... to really foul up requires the root password." "Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error." "If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0" "If Python is executable pseudocode, then perl is executable line noise." "Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code." "Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users?" "I can't uninstall it, there seems to be some kind of 'Uninstall Shield'." "See daddy ? All the keys are in alphabetical order now." "Hey! It compiles! Ship it!" "SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it." "Yo moma is like HTML: Tiny head, huge body." "Windows Vista: It's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush." "The more I C, the less I see." "Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code." "My software never has bugs. It just develops random features." "The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back." "Crap... Someone knocked over my recycle bin... There's icons all over my desktop..." "Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS !" "rm -rf /bin/laden" "I don't care if you ARE getting a PhD in it ! Get away from that damn computer and go find a woman !" "The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones." "If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough." “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” "Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are." Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips." "I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly" The world is coming to an end... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS !" "If you don't want to be replaced by a computer, don't act like one." "Better to be a geek than an idiot." "I went to a gentleman's cybercafe — and they offered me a 'laptop dance'." "After Perl everything else is just assembly language." "The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents." "There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't." "Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail." "Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you." "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d" "Helpdesk: There is an icon on your computer labeled "My Computer". Double click on it. User: What's your computer doing on mine?" “I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing.” “If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.” "Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer." “Any fool can use a computer. Many do.” “Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.” "Those who can't write programs, write help files." "You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary." “Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is.” Computer Literacy Quotes Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living. Nicholas Negroponte Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know. Daniel J. Boorstin A computer does not substitute for judgment any more than a pencil substitutes for literacy. But writing without a pencil is no particular advantage. Robert McNamara Cyberattacks have become a permanent fixture on the international scene because they have become easy and cheap to launch. Basic computer literacy and a modest budget can go a long way toward invading a country's cyberspace. Evgeny Morozov It's not computer literacy that we should be working on, but sort of human-literacy. Computers have to become human-literate. Nicholas Negroponte Computer literacy is a contact with the activity of computing deep enough to make the computational equivalent of reading and writing fluent and enjoyable. As in all the arts, a romance with the material must be well under way. If we value the lifelong learning of arts and letters as a springboard for personal and societal growth, should any less effort be spent to make computing a part of our lives? Alan Kay Video games provide an easy lead-in to computer literacy. They can get you thinking like a video game designer and can even lead to designing since many games come with software to modify the game or redesign it. James Paul Gee Similarly, computer literacy courses tend to produce computer people who know a lot about computers or a piece of software but they don't help people become fluent with the machine. Seymour Papert Quotes on Computers Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us. Author: Jean Rostand User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot." Author: Dave Barry Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software. Author: Anonymous Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. Author: Edward Shepherd Mead Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road. Author: Stewart Brand One of the problems the internet has introduced is that in the electronic village all the village-idiots have internet access. Author: Peter Nelson PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms Author: Unknown People who buy Macs are the same people who said BETA is better than VHS 15 years ago. Author: Unknown pixel, n.: A mischievous, magical spirit associated with screen displays. The computer industry has frequently borrowed from mythology: Witness the sprites in computer graphics, the demons in artificial intelligence, and the trolls in the marketing department. Author: Jeff Meyer PROGRAM - n. A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages. v. tr.- To engage in a pastime similar to banging one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward. Author: Unknown Programmer - an organism that turns coffee into software. Author: Anonymous Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Author: Rich Cook RAM disk is not an installation procedure. Author: Anonymous They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction. Author: Janet Reno To create a new standard it takes something that's not just a little bit different. It takes something that's really new and really captures people's imagination. And the Macintosh, of all the machines I've ever seen, is the only one that meets that standard. Author: Bill Gates To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. Author: Robert Orben To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Author: Farmers' Almanac, 1978 Too bad men aren't like computers. Predictable, compliant, full of answers but no questions...yet able to deliver an occasional delightful surprise. Author: Brenda Starr Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. Author: Clifford Stoll Version 1 of any software is full of bugs. Version 2 fixes all the bugs and is great. Version 3 adds all the things users ask for, but hides all the great stuff in Version 2. Author: Fred Blechman "The guy who knows about computers is the last person you want to have creating documentation for people who don't understand computers." — Adam Osborne "Access to computers and the Internet has become a basic need for education in our society." — Kent Conrad "I wish people would turn off their computers, go outside, talk to people, touch people, lick people, enjoy each other's company and smell each other on the rump." — Tre Cool "Computers can now keep a man's every transgression recorded in a permanent memory bank, duplicating with complex programming and intricate wiring a feat his wife handles quite well without fuss or fanfare" — Lane Olinghouse "(The) vast majority of the machines infected...are home computers. Nothing will happen on them until people get home from work and boot up their machines. We'd like to think that they whole problem was avoided and everybody cleaned up their machines in time. But unfortunately, that's probably not true." — Mikko Hypponen "People use not just personal computers, but telephones, televisions, wireless and other devices with this technology so that minutes will migrate over time, ... We really don't see a mass substitution or a great big cliff ahead of us, but rather that people will use this [Net2Phone applications] in conjunction with activities that they are performing in the Internet portal space." — Michael Armstrong "The future lies in designing and selling computers that people don't realize are computers at all" — Adam Osborne "And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)" — Dave Barry "There will still be things that machines cannot do. They will not produce great art or great literature or great philosophy; they will not be able to discover the secret springs of happiness in the human heart; they will know nothing of love and friendship." — Bertrand Russell "E-commerce businesses, even e-commerce specialists, have yet to realize that the WWW is first and foremost an emotional experience. Few websites reflect this important priority." — Grant Fairley "In a way, staring into a computer screen is like staring into an eclipse. It's brilliant and you don't realize the damage until its too late." — Bruce Sterling "Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer." — Dave Barry "People clearly reason spatially and with images as well. We think it will be important for computers to be able to do the same." — Randall Davis "There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece." — Dave Barry "People think computers will keep them from making mistakes. They're wrong. With computers you make mistakes faster." — Adam Osborne "They (computers) run our electric power grid, out telecommunications network, they run our railroads, our banking system, and all of them are vulnerable, at some level, to some degree to information warfare, or cyber-terrorism," — Richard Clark "If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in." — Author Unknown "Modern people are only willing to believe in their computers, while I believe in myself." — Alain Robert "Everything now is all pushed together. Kids are using the same computers as adults." — Randy Matlow "Do I think people will read 'Moby Dick' on their computers? No." — Danielle Tiedt "In the future, ... people will live twice as long, computers will die twice as fast." — Futurama "At first, he was thought of as extreme, but later, with the advent of computers, he was able to run large databases and establish a very large empirical record. I can't think of anyone who's had more impact on public finance in the second half of the 20th century." — Lawrence Lindsey "It is essential that computers are protected from unauthorized access by remote hackers. All computer users need to patch against these flaws in Microsoft's software as quickly as possible, before hackers and virus writers try and take advantage of them." — Ron O'Brien "The next major explosion is going to be when genetics and computers come together. I'm talking about an organic computer - about biological substances that can function like a semiconductor." — Alvin Toffler "The next step for us will be to conduct forensic lab analysis of his computers. To see what images are on the computers, how many and how they got there." — Lauren Mack "If we go down and have no phones, no computers and no cell phones, we are still going to be able to communicate," — Aaron Adams "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers." — Sydney Harris "Computers are great, and they help us out a lot, but I think they can get us into a lot of trouble. I don't want people to get drunk and go online, for starters. I think it's dangerous. Everyone uses phony names, and you just don't know who you are talking to half the time." — Llywelyn Jones "As he got older, he just became intimidated by these computers. It was kind of devastating for him." — Paul English "We have computers to help us with the returns, but no way would we ever have a computer answer the phone. It's rude and it aggravates people." — Lee Densmore "Most companies have a policy that says if you use our computers you consent to our monitoring." — Mark Rasch "He's a computer geek, ... I think he knew more about MacIntosh computers than the state's witness did. I'm not sure how much the jury caught, but he seemed to be pretty pleased." — Mark Edwards "When I tried to figure out how computers worked, I was disgusted. I thought it was totally brute force. I felt there had to be a more elegant way to do this." — Kwabena Boahen "There's too many alternative ways to buy computers." — Rick Berry "It will really speed up our computer system. It's dramatic, what it will do for us. School computers will be able to talk together." — Bruce Baker "We have three good size rooms here. We have the band room. We also have the Internet room with computers and Internet access. And we have a plasma TV lounge." — Mark Machnic "The next big wave for computers, at least as far as we can tell, is going to be these modular designs, so it's a race to see which major brand does it first," — Rob Enderle "Up to now, I've been able to avoid Windows NT because the computers that control the power system are for the most part VAXes. But as more things we use, such as time sheets and discrepancy reports, migrate to the NT network, I'll need to do NT. I don't know what will happen; all I can do is try." — Michael Freeman "If I had to sum up in a word what makes a good manager, I'd say decisiveness. You can use the fanciest computers to gather the numbers, but in the end you have to set a timetable and act." — Lee Iacocca "The results are consistent with the outlook (we announced) in October. Growth in emerging markets, demand for (notebook computers) and demand in manufacturing are delivering healthy growth in Intel's revenue." — Andy Bryant "I'm expecting to get a couple more years out of these computers." — Larry Buchanan "You have a growing network and the computers need to be advanced. Most counties have a network administrator and staff." — Jon Anderson "With computers at every bedside, patient medical records available online, and technology to review cases, the physicians at Pepin are uniquely positioned within the healthcare industry. Using GE's transformational medical technologies can help these physicians make faster and more informed decisions, streamline healthcare costs, reduce medical errors and enhance and improve the quality of patient care." — Vishal Wanchoo "You have riches and freedom here but I feel no sense of faith or direction. You have so many computers, why don't you use them in the search for love?" — Lech Walesa "The computer industry is not in the best long-term interest for us. The increased use of computers, e-mails, computing games and other electronic entertainment gadgets has cut into people's free time." — Mike May "These people need everything from computers to toilets." — Kim Cooley "There would be a cost for expenses of the commission, for commission staff, for computers, ... But it would be approximately half of the cost now because there would not be duplication." — Mark Herron "It could include items such as increased expenditures on computers, on technology, on science labs and equipment, on instructional equipment, or even better, higher salaries for teachers," — Rick Perry "Carders typically buy high-value goods like computers and jewelry so they can resell them," — Ken Miller "The reality is that there could have been hundreds of thousands of computers with overwritten files today. Instead, we only have a handful of reports, and that is a hands-down victory for the collaborative effort of the security community." — Ken Dunham "He lives a lot in his head, like a lot of us live in our little condos with our computers. We interact less and less with other humans and don't use our imaginations as much. This character's head is a big hot-air balloon, and he flies away to find the balance between (living in) the real world and being able to keep his creativity and childlike heart." — Kiki Nesbitt "The computer is the most extraordinary of man's technological clothing; it's an extension of our central nervous system. Beside it, the wheel is a mere hula-hoop." — Marshall McLuhan "When Shauna walked through the door we had no furniture, no computers, we had nothing. She has been involved in every aspect of setting up the milk bank." — Mary Weber "We won't always make it in five years but that's the goal. Computers will last more than five years. Some are now 8 to 10 years old and we actually wish they would die." — Rick Jones "People don't understand computers. Computers are magical boxes that do things. People believe what computers tell them." — Bruce Scheneier "We're going so into computers and technology today that I think we're losing the human touch on a lot of things. And as far as I'm concerned, police work still requires the human touch. You still have to be one-on-one with people. I'm going to continue to try to maintain our one-on-one, person-to-person thing with our dispatcher. If you call our police department 24 hours a day, you still get a human being. I'm a firm believer that every dark cloud has a silver lining, even if you just learn a little bit along the way from it. And if that brings morale up, then I'm glad it did. I'm sure glad I was given the opportunity." — Mark Smith "We don't mind taking the money and using it simply for computers and technology initiatives that we as Virginias have determined, but I don't want them doing anything to harm our standards," — George Allen "The cost of computers is still a problem along with access to Internet service, ... If you don't see marketing efforts toward your group and someone to set up the computer and internet service, you are less likely to have it." — Ted Schadler "Carders typically buy high-value goods like computers and jewelry so they can resell them." — Ken Miller "What Microsoft is doing is patently illegal. Think about it. If you want to build computers, you've got to ask Bill's permission, ... If Bill wanted to triple the price on Windows, what would you do? You'd pay; you wouldn't have any choice." — Larry Ellison "In theory, you would have people buying computers with XP Home in 2006, and it would immediately have to be upgraded. There are also a lot of consumers with older hardware who would have to buy a new computer to be secure." — Paul DeGroot "After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy." — John Pierce "Computers have taken so much drudgery out of it. Just one to mention, painting the picture. It used to be that everything was wet, everything was with a brush. Everything was wiggle it in water, wipe out your brush, get a new jar of paint, spill the paint, mop it up." — Don Bluth