So you think you're computer-illiterate? Check out the following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by Jim Carlton --   \n1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.   \n2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.  \n3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.  \n4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.  \n5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room. \n6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key. \n7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends, "the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."  \n8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard  no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually. \n9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.  \n10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.  \n11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"  \n12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: \nCaller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"    \nTech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"     \nCaller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my       \nwarranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"  \nTech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"    \nCaller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."    \nTech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because   \nI am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder?    \nDoes it have any trademark on it?"   \nCaller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."    \nAt this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. ~Elbert Hubbard
Modern technology  \nOwes ecology \nAn apology.   \n~Alan M. Eddison
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. ~Frank Lloyd Wright
I have watched in spirit, hundreds of years, the machines grow out of Man like nails, like vast antennć — a kind of enormous, more unconscious sub-body.... Man, at the present moment, with all his new machines about him, is engaged in becoming as self-controlled, as self-expressive, with his new machines, with his wireless telegraph arms and his railway legs, as he is with his flesh and blood ones.... So I have seen the machines go swinging through the world. Like archangels, like demons, they mount up our desires on the mountains.... We dive down with our steel wheels and nose for knowledge — like a great Fish — along the bottom of the sea. We beat up our wills through the air. We fling up, with our religion, with our faith, our bodies on the clouds. We fly reverently and strangely, our hearts all still and happy, in the face of God! ~Gerald Stanley Lee, "Dead as a Door Nail!", Crowds: A Moving-Picture of Democracy, Book One: Crowds and Machines, 1912
Technology: “the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it.” ~Max Frisch, c.1960s
Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? ~Al Boliska
Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ~C.P. Snow, New York Times, 15 March 1971
Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation...tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego. His anxiety subsides. His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation. ~Jean Arp
It is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome. ~T.S. Eliot, about radio
Western society has accepted as unquestionable a technological imperative that is quite as arbitrary as the most primitive taboo: not merely the duty to foster invention and constantly to create technological novelties, but equally the duty to surrender to these novelties unconditionally, just because they are offered, without respect to their human consequences. ~Lewis Mumford
All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness. ~Mark Kennedy
The drive toward complex technical achievement offers a clue to why the U.S. is good at space gadgetry and bad at slum problems. ~John Kenneth Galbraith
The system of nature, of which man is a part, tends to be self-balancing, self-adjusting, self-cleansing. Not so with technology. ~E.F. Schumacher, Small is Beautiful, 1973
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours. ~John F. Kennedy
Don't get smart alecksy  \nWith the galaxy      \nLeave the atom alone.  \n~E.Y. Harburg, "Leave the Atom Alone," 1957
The most important and urgent problems of the technology of today are no longer the satisfactions of the primary needs or of archetypal wishes, but the reparation of the evils and damages by the technology of yesterday. ~Dennis Gabor, Innovations: Scientific, Technological and Social, 1970
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. ~Albert Einstein
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled. ~Richard P. Feynman
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards. ~Aldous Huxley
This is perhaps the most beautiful time in human history; it is really pregnant with all kinds of creative possibilities made possible by science and technology which now constitute the slave of man - if man is not enslaved by it. ~Jonas Salk
Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain. ~J.K. Rowling
As far as I'm concerned, progress peaked with frozen pizza. ~From the movie Die Hard 2, spoken by the character John McClane regarding technological advances, screenplay by Steven E. de Souza and Doug Richardson, based on the novel 58 Minutes by Walter Wager
I like my new telephone, my computer works just fine, my calculator is perfect, but Lord, I miss my mind! ~Author Unknown
The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people. ~Karl Marx
The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. ~Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Science and Nature Quotations, 1988
When a machine begins to run without human aid, it is time to scrap it - whether it be a factory or a government. ~Alexander Chase, Perspectives, 1966
We are becoming the servants in thought, as in action, of the machine we have created to serve us. ~John Kenneth Galbraith
Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid. ~William M. Kelly
I'm struck by the insidious, computer-driven tendency to take things out of the domain of muscular activity and put them into the domain of mental activity. The transfer is not paying off. Sure, muscles are unreliable, but they represent several million years of accumulated finesse. ~Brian Eno, Wired, January 1999
When your inner man complains and wants to put his trust in something, there is nothing quite as suitable as a gadget. The gadget will presumably work, while the same thing cannot always be said of one's intelligence or of one's own nerve. ~Wolfgang Langewiesche (1907–2002), "Knapsack of Salvation," I'll Take the High Road, 1939 [a little altered; in this case, the gadget is a parachute —te??ˇ·g]
Use of advanced messaging technology does not imply an endorsement of western industrial civilization. ~Anonymous email sig line
Once upon a time we were just plain people. But that was before we began having relationships with mechanical systems. Get involved with a machine and sooner or later you are reduced to a factor. ~Ellen Goodman, "The Human Factor," The Washington Post, January 1987
I think I should not go far wrong if I asserted that the amount of genuine leisure available in a society is generally in inverse proportion to the amount of labor-saving machinery it employs. ~E.F. Schumacher
The telegraph has conquered time. ~S.F.B. Morse
By means of the magnetic telegraph the people of our country are holding a continuous mass-meeting. ~Wendell Phillips
Technology presumes there's just one right way to do things and there never is. ~Robert M. Pirsig
It is difficult not to wonder whether that combination of elements which produces a machine for labor does not create also a soul of sorts, a dull resentful metallic will, which can rebel at times. ~Pearl S. Buck
#WhenIWasYourAge: We had to open all doors by ourselves. None of them knew we were coming. ~Neil deGrasse Tyson, 2014
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. ~B.F. Skinner, Contingencies of Reinforcement, 1969
The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them. ~Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand, and Stars, 1939
What the country needs are a few labor-making inventions. ~Arnold Glasow
Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. ~R. Buckminster Fuller
Imagine that the telegraph is an immense long dog — so long that its head is at Vienna and its tail is at Paris. Well, tread on its tail, which is at Paris, and it will bark at Vienna. ~Author unknown, published in Brooklyn Daily Eagle, 1866 August 28th (Thanks, Garson O'Toole of quoteinvestigator.com!)
The greatest task before civilization at present is to make machines what they ought to be, the slaves, instead of the masters of men. ~Havelock Ellis
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. ~Warren G. Bennis
It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. ~John Stuart Mill
You cannot endow even the best machine with initiative; the jolliest steam-roller will not plant flowers. ~Walter Lippmann
Where there is the necessary technical skill to move mountains, there is no need for the faith that moves mountains. ~Eric Hoffer
We've arranged a civilization in which most crucial elements profoundly depend on science and technology. We have also arranged things so that almost no one understands science and technology. This is a prescription for disaster. We might get away with it for a while, but sooner or later this combustible mixture of ignorance and power is going to blow up in our faces. ~Carl Sagan
Especially, in the country     \nWas the backhouse used by all;    \nFor they had no city plumbing     \nIn those days beyond recall...   \nWhen 'twas dark, we'd light the lantern,   \nAnd go forth upon our quest      \nFor the book of Sears & Roebuck;     \nAnd then sit, and groan and rest...  \nBut this backhouse, dark and gloomy,     \nWith its seats so cold and damp,     \nWas the bane of my existence      \nWhen I'd visit dear old Gramp!...  \nGone are all those days of privies       \nAnd of each backhouse, so plain;     \nNow, we pull the chain, and presto!    \nAll is sweet and clean, again.  \n~Gertrude Tooley Buckingham (b.1880), "The Old Time Backhouse" #outhouses #toilets
Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking of them. ~Alfred North Whitehead
Education makes machines which act like men and produces men who act like machines. ~Erich Fromm
Some people worry that artificial intelligence will make us feel inferior, but then, anybody in his right mind should have an inferiority complex every time he looks at a flower. ~Alan C. Kay
Lo! Men have become the tools of their tools. ~Henry David Thoreau
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3. ~Alice Kahn
The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. ~Sydney J. Harris
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I think one of the big errors people are making right now is thinking that old-style businesses will be obsolete, when actually they will be an important part of this new civilization. Some retail groups are introducing e-commerce and think that the "bricks" are no longer useful. But they will continue to be important.     Carlos Slim Helu
Paper is no longer a big part of my day. I get 90% of my news online, and when I go to a meeting and want to jot things down, I bring my Tablet PC. It's fully synchronized with my office machine so I have all the files I need.   Bill Gates
Technology presumes there's just one right way to do things and there never is. Robert M. Pirsig
Our business is about technology, yes. But it's also about operations and customer relationships.    Michael Dell
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.   Unknown
One would think that if you're anonymous, you'd do anything you want, but groups have their own sense of community and what we can do.   John Allen
Well Microsoft really does develop some really interesting technology.   Miguel de Icaza
We're changing the world with technology.       \nLook at growth, look at how much time people spend on the Net and look at the variety of things that they are doing. It's all really good, so I am actually encouraged by the fundamentals that underlie usage growth on the Net.      Meg Whitman
Technology makes the world a new place.   Shoshana Zuboff
I remember turning in my first assignment in elementary school using the computer and the teachers were kind of confused that I had printed it.   Larry Page
In June 1994, while it is still our hobby, we renamed it "yahoo" to stand for "yet another hierarchical officious oracle".  Jerry Yang
Writing code has a place in the human hierarchy worth somewhere above grave robbing and beneath managing.    Gerald Weinberg
There's no set architecture in Linux. All roads lead to madness.       Martin Taylor
PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.    Jon Ribbens
I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought was ten years away... it was already here. I just wasn't aware of it yet.     Bruce Sterling
But they are useless. They can only give you answers.       Pablo Picasso
If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0.
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer.   Erik Naggum
I’ve noticed lately that the paranoid fear of computers becoming intelligent and taking over the world has almost entirely disappeared from the common culture. Near as I can tell, this coincides with the release of MS-DOS.     Larry DeLuca
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.     Michael Sinz
The Internet is the end of civilizations, cultures, interests and ethics.  \nOfficial Iraqi government statement
Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.
I think Amazon is the preeminent pioneer in building a new way of doing commerce: personalized, database-driven commerce, where the big value is not in the purchase fulfillment, but in knowing as much about a customer base of ten or twenty million people as a corner store used to know about a customer base of a few hundred. In today's mass-merchandising world, that's largely gone; Amazon is trying to use computer technology to re-establish it.       Andrew Grove
Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.   Peter Rothman
In programming, everything we do is a special case of something more general -- and often we know it too quickly.               \nThe only people who have anything to fear from free software are those whose products are worth even less.        \nDavid Emery
The term reboot comes from the middle age (before computers). Horses who stopped in mid-stride required a boot to the rear to start again. Thus the term to rear-boot, later abbreviated into reboot.    \nFirst learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack.                       \nGeorge Carrette
What does it say about our culture that personality is now considered a technology, a tool of the trade, not only in politics but in business and the professions? Has everyone been forced to become an actor? In sixteenth century England, actors were.   \nAlbert Gore
Because of its vitality, the computing field is always in desperate need of new cliches: Banality soothes our nerves.    \nAquote-AccEdit
First and foremost, the Internet is unique since it is THE only interactive medium -- and that's important because from a content, service, and communications perspective, we web folks try to take advantage of that interactivity.     \nYou will not even have enough time to go online and download all the patches to your computer before it is infected.    \nMikko Hypponen
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet.    \nDave Barry
A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.
For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match.    \nBill Bryson
True innovation often comes from the small startup who is lean enough to launch a market but lacks the heft to own it.   \nTimm Martin
This is something we're very committed to, it's something that I think people are underestimating right now as they've seen some of the dot-com promises not come through. I think they're missing the fact that the basic technology is moving forward, the new platforms are here and this vision of the digital decade will be a reality.
Software companies should take more responsibility for security holes, especially in browsers and e-mail clients. There are some straightforward things the industry should be doing right now to fix things, and I don't know why they haven't been done yet.    \nTim Berners-Lee
High technology has done us one great service: It has retaught us the delight of performing simple and primordial tasks - chopping wood, building a fire, drawing water from a spring.   \nEdward Abbey
The purpose of medicine is to prevent significant disease, to decrease pain and to postpone death... Technology has to support these goals-if not, it may even be counterproductive.  \nDr. Joel J. Nobel
And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.  \nScott Adams
Ooops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
When we understand knowledge-based systems, it will be as before -- except our fingertips will have been singed.
If a program manipulates a large amount of data, it does so in a small number of ways.
Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail.
When someone says "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done," give him a lollipop.
The only constructive theory connecting neuroscience and psychology will arise from the study of software.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction. Janet Reno
I have an almost religious zeal.. not for technology per se, but for the Internet which is for me, the nervous system of mother Earth, which I see as a living creature, linking up.     Dan Millman
I want people to understand the amazing, positive way our software can make leisure time more enjoyable, and work and businesses more successful.     Steve Ballmer
Every day were saying, 'How can we keep this customer happy?' How can we get ahead in innovation by doing this, because if we don't, somebody else will.  \nThink of it! With VLSI we can pack 100 ENIACS in 1 sq. cm.  \nIf it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.    \nFrank Lloyd Wright
In English every word can be verbed. Would that it were so in our programming languages.
Optimization hinders evolution.
To understand a program you must become both the machine and the program.
Fools ignore complexity. Pragmatists suffer it. Some can avoid it. Geniuses remove it.
I had one simple idea about telling friends about arts and technology events. People in the community suggested everything else to us, and that's our theme. We're really run by the people who use the site. We just run the infrastructure, and help out with problems.   Craig Newmark
There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.    C.A.R. Hoare
Every operating system out there is about equal… We all suck.   Brian Valentine
It is the user who should parameterize procedures, not their creators.
The greatest danger in modern technology isn't that machines will begin to think like people, but that people will begin to think like machines.
If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner.    Omar Bradley
The sooner you start coding a program, the longer it will take.
The medium is the message. This is merely to say that the personal and social consequences of any medium / that is, of any extension of ourselves / result from the new scale that is introduced into our affairs by each extension of ourselves, or by any new technology.     Marshall McLuhan
We kid ourselves if we think that the ratio of procedure to data in an active data-base system can be made arbitrarily small or even kept small.
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you.
Computers, huh? I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys.
From the television show King of Queens, spoken by the character Doug Heffernan
If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.      Isaac Newton
Sometimes I think the only universal in the computing field is the fetch-execute cycle.
If future generations are to remember us more with gratitude than sorrow, we must achieve more than just the miracles of technology. We must also leave them a glimpse of the world as it was created, not just as it looked when we got through with it.     Lyndon B. Johnson
Overall, OS/2's problems fall into two categories: IBM and Microsoft.   Jean-Louis Gassee
Any given program, once deployed, is already obsolete.
The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland"; but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.
The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones.
Los Angeles County officials have asked that manufacturers, suppliers and contractors stop using the terms 'master' and 'slave' regarding computer hard drives, saying such terms are unacceptable and offensive. Additionally, the term 'e-mail' will now be called 'e-person letter', 'dumb terminals' will now be 'CPU-challenged monitors' and 'Unix' will be referred to as 'sexually dysfunctional operating system'. Obviously, 'fingering' is now banned entirely. Kevin Fizz
The mass majority of computer users are conservative. They want to use the software they're used to using.   Geoff Perlman
Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?
America's technology has turned in upon itself; its corporate form makes it the servant of profits, not the servant of human needs.   Alice Embree
If computers had invented humans as part of a BI program (biological intelligence), humans would have been tossed aside as barely having achieved perfect game play at Tic-Tac-Toe.   Epine
In a world without walls and fences, who needs Windows and Gates ?   Dino Esposito
It would take a lot of time and effort (to repair the computers). And they can't run (programs and games) kids are interested in today. They're not even on the Internet. We wouldn't be offering them much of a carrot.   Bob Schneider
Technology is a gift of God. After the gift of life it is perhaps the greatest of God's gifts. It is the mother of civilizations, of arts and of sciences.    Freeman Dyson
The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers.        Jamais Cascio
Saying your OS is the best in the world 'cause more people use it is like saying McDonalds makes the best food in the world.
Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google.
Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.   Linus Torvalds
It was a pivotal moment in the history of computers and the history of advertising.   Ted Friedman
Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.    Bill Bulko
The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow.
Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred.  David Dixon,
The use of a program to prove the 4-color theorem will not change mathematics - it merely demonstrates that the theorem, a challenge for a century, is probably not important to mathematics.
In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.   Dennis Miller
If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, ‘We’re sorry, here’s a coupon for two more.   Mark Minasi
Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.    Larry Wall
Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.      Clifford Stoll
We are now able to see things in nature of what was previously only available in computer simulation.   Patrick Henry
A world technology means either a world government or world suicide.    Max Lerner
Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon.
The computer is the ultimate polluter: its feces are indistinguish- able from the food it produces.
Windows NT addresses 2 Gigabytes of RAM, which is more than any application will ever need.     Microsoft, on the development of Windows NT
It is a tremendous responsibility for us to have all the eyes focused on what we do and give people exactly what they need when they ask for it.
Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.
After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of (a) book as a kind of screen saver for your brain.
Dating a girl is just like writing software. Everything's going to work just fine in the testing lab (dating), but as soon as you have contract with a customer (marriage), then your program (life) is going to be facing new situations you never expected. You'll be forced to patch the code (admit you're wrong) and then the code (wife) will just end up all bloated and unmaintainable in the end.
From then on, when anything went wrong with a computer, we said it had bugs in it.       Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper, US Navy
It is a commonplace of modern technology that problems have solutions before there is knowledge of how they are to be solved.    John Kenneth Galbraith
People always fear change. People feared electricity when it was invented, didn't they? People feared coal, they feared gas-powered engines... There will always be ignorance, and ignorance leads to fear. But with time, people will come to accept their silicon masters.
I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing.
Oktal
Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living.    Nicholas Negroponte
Almost everybody today believes that nothing in economic history has ever moved as fast as, or had a greater impact than, the Information Revolution. But the Industrial Revolution moved at least as fast in the same time span, and had probably an equal impact if not a greater one.   Peter Drucker
Structured Programming supports the law of the excluded muddle.
One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.
No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience, the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.     Mark Gibbs
It's hard for us in our stores to be a leader in technology.    Lee Scott
There will always be things we wish to say in our programs that in all known languages can only be said poorly.
We always overestimate the change that will occur in the next two years and underestimate the change that will occur in the next ten. Don't let yourself be lulled into inaction.
Technology does not run an enterprise, relationships do.      Patricia Fripp
It's very important to remember that it's your intellectual property; it's not your computer. And in the pursuit of protection of intellectual property, it's important not to defeat or undermine the security measures that people need to adopt in these days.    Stewart Baker
My computer must be broken: whenever I ask a wrong question, it gives a wrong answer.     Ashleigh Brilliant
Get into a rut early: Do the same process the same way. Accumulate idioms. Standardize. The only difference(!) between Shakespeare and you was the size of his idiom list - not the size of his vocabulary.
We are always saying to ourself.. we have to innovate. We got to come up with that breakthrough. In fact, the way software works.. so long as you are using your existing software.. you don't pay us anything at all. So we're only paid for breakthroughs.
Systems have sub-systems and sub-systems have sub- systems and so on ad infinitum - which is why we're always starting over.
Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.   Steve Wozniak
I think if you do something and it turns out pretty good, then you should go do something else wonderful, not dwell on it for too long. Just figure out what’s next.       Steve Jobs
There's a lot of Google fascination out there and we share it, and we're going to compete, we're going to compete very, very hard.
The research rat of the future allows experimentation without manipulation of the real world. This is the cutting edge of modeling technology.    John Spencer
Users /nm./: collective term for those who use computers. Users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert. Novice Users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate Users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it. Expert Users: people who break other people's computers.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
The interesting thing is when we design and architect a server, we don't design it for Windows or Linux, we design it for both. We don't really care, as long as we're selling the one the customer wants.
We will create a civilization of the Mind in Cyberspace. May it be more humane and fair than the world your governments have made before.   John Perry Barlow
That’s what’s cool about working with computers. They don’t argue, they remember everything, and they don’t drink all your beer.   Paul Leary
A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
We've heard that a million monkeys at a keyboard could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.   Robert Wilensky
All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value.  Carl Sagan
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.    Isaac Asimov
The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.    Wernher Magnus Maximilian von Braun
If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan.
Pixar is the most technically advanced creative company; Apple is the most creatively advanced technical company.
In a 5 year period we get one superb programming language. Only we can't control when the 5 year period will be.
I wish life had an Undo function.
The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.
It's a fact that more people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting and would like to do more in this field.    Stephen Covey
If you automate a mess, you get an automated mess.
The digital revolution is far more significant than the invention of writing or even of printing.   Douglas Engelbart
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.  Max Frisch
Whenever two programmers meet to criticize their programs, both are silent.
WinNT: All the headaches of Unix, but in a pretty, windowed environment.
If google made $1 everytime someone used them to find an answer to a tech support question, they would own microsoft.
As we go forward, I hope we're going to continue to use technology to make really big differences in how people live and work.     Sergey Brin
Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (And by ‘they’, I mean ‘computers’. I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)
Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?    Al Boliska
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.     Andy Rooney
First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure.    Douglas Adams
Where there is the necessary technical skill to move mountains, there is no need for the faith that moves mountains.   Eric Hoffer
Modern technology Owes ecology An apology.  Alan M. Eddison
For systems, the analogue of a face-lift is to add to the control graph an edge that creates a cycle, not just an additional node.
Because we do not understand the brain very well we are constantly tempted to use the latest technology as a model for trying to understand it. In my childhood we were always assured that the brain was a telephone switchboard. ('What else could it be?') I was amused to see that Sherrington, the great British neuroscientist, thought that the brain worked like a telegraph system. Freud often compared the brain to hydraulic and electro-magnetic systems. Leibniz compared it to a mill, and I am told some of the ancient Greeks thought the brain functions like a catapult. At present, obviously, the metaphor is the digital computer.    John R Searls
Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.
The US Nuclear Security Administration runs the Blue Gene supercomputer. It is supposed to be the top super computer in the world ? and it runs on GNU Linux. Of the top 10 super computers in the world, seven run on GNU Linux. From a security point of view, there is a case to be made.     Nhlanhla Mabaso
Technology does not drive change -- it enables change.
640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding.   Louis Gerstner
Technology has the shelf life of a banana.     Scott McNealy
The modern computer hovers between the obsolescent and the nonexistent.    Sydney Brenner
What the country needs are a few labor-making inventions.      Arnold Glasow
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?    Marilyn Pittman
Calculations which required a $20 million machine eight years ago can be done on a Mac cluster costing about $11,000.     Dean Dauger
You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time.     Bertrand Meyer
The probability of a flawless demo is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.
Results eventually reach a point at which a finer mesh no longer yields an appreciable difference. This type of convergence study helps generate accurate solutions with meshes that are sufficiently dense and yet not overly demanding of computer resources.     Bob Williams
I believe that Silicon Valley is truly a place of excellence and the impact of this tiny community on the world is completely disproportionate to its size. We are the undisputed leaders of technological change. But with our abundance of talent and resources, we also have the opportunity to be the pioneers of social change and, ultimately, this may be our greatest contribution.   Jeff Skoll
Technology without hatred can be a blessing. Technology with hatred is always a disaster.    Simon Wiesenthal
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.    Stan Kelly-Bootle
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer.
Around computers it is difficult to find the correct unit of time to measure progress. Some cathedrals took a century to complete. Can you imagine the grandeur and scope of a program that would take as long?
To create a new standard it takes something that's not just a little bit different. It takes something that's really new and really captures people's imagination. And the Macintosh, of all the machines I've ever seen, is the only one that meets that standard.
It is not a language's weakness but its strengths that control the gradient of its change: Alas, a language never escapes its embryonic sac.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.   James Magary
The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the computer hardware industry.     Henry Petroski
The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people.  Karl Marx
You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on the continuing vitality of FORTRAN.
[Smart] is an elusive concept. There's a certain sharpness, an ability to absorb new facts. To ask an insightful question. To relate to domains that may not seem connected at first. A certain creativity that allows people to be effective.
Functions delay binding; data structures induce binding. Moral: Structure data late in the programming process.
There are broken toilets left there, old computers and miscellaneous garbage. They are totally unsupervised. The recycling company is good, but when people want to dump trash, they dump trash.   Karen Becker
There's a whole kind of hip element to it -- now I need this. Right smack in the middle of the 21st century, sophistication is marrying itself to a very old-fashioned notion of a table where you play games, long before television, video games and home computers. The deck of cards now has become cool again.  Robert Thompson
A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy.   Joseph Campbell
Programmers are not to be measured by their ingenuity and their logic but by the completeness of their case analysis.
The lifeblood of our business is that R&D spend. There's nothing that flows through a pipe or down a wire or anything else. We have to continuously create new innovation that lets people do something they didn't think they could do the day before.
The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but that we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway.    Bernard Avishai
The debate rages on: is PL/I Bachtrian or Dromedary?
If Unix is the face of the future I want to go back to quill pens.    Joseph Snipp
The technologies which have had the most profound effects on human life are usually simple.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee. That will do them in.        Bradley's Bromide
Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.   Dennis Ritchie
They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages. Thats nothing, cause if you play it forwards, it installs Windows.  Alluvium
I can't uninstall it, there seems to be some kind of 'Uninstall Shield'.
Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is.
First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.   John Johnson
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.       Warren G. Bennis
The Internet is like a giant jellyfish. You can't step on it. You can't go around it. You've got to get through it.     John Evans
Some say Google is God. Others say Google is Satan. But if they think Google is too powerful, remember that with search engines unlike other companies, all it takes is a single click to go to another search engine.
When music technology takes the place of musicianship, it's time to pull the plug.    Robert Brown
You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary.   Juuso Heimonen
If we had a reliable way to label our toys good and bad, it would be easy to regulate technology wisely. But we can rarely see far enough ahead to know which road leads to damnation. Whoever concerns himself with big technology, either to push it forward or to stop it, is gambling in human lives.
A program is never less than 90% complete, and never more than 95% complete.
Make no mistake about it: Computers process numbers - not symbols. We measure our understanding (and control) by the extent to which we can arithmetize an activity.
It is the framework which changes with each new technology and not just the picture within the frame.
We started putting together a "hotlist" of favorite sites from David and myself, and we called it "Jerry's Guide to the World Wide Web" Before we knew it, people from all over the world were using this database that we created.
We know by now that if we make technology the predestined force in our lives, man will walk to the measure of its demands. We know how leveling that influence can be, how easy it is to computerize man and make him a servile thing in a vast industrial complex. . . . This means we must subject the machine -- technology -- to control and cease despoiling the earth and filling people with goodies merely to make money.     William Orville Douglas
People keep asking me what I think of it now that it's done. Hence my protest: The Web is not done!
Wherever there is modularity there is the potential for misunderstanding: Hiding information implies a need to check communication.
I hope that the internet will get to become ubiquitous and affordable, and if that's achieved, I think it'll be a big part of people's lives - for the better.
Adapting old programs to fit new machines usually means adapting new machines to behave like old ones.
Apparently, Windows 98 is going to be renamed 'Diana, Princess of Windows'. It's overrated, overpriced, consumes loads of resources and crashes spectacularly...
The Internet is a great way to get on the net.  Senator Bob Dole
Technology innovation is starting to explode and having open-source material out there really helps this explosion. You get students and researchers involved and you get people coming through and building start ups based on open source products.
A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.
The computer reminds one of Lon Chaney -- it is the machine of a thousand faces.
Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more ‘user-friendly’… Their best approach so far has been to take all the old brochures and stamp the words ‘user-friendly’ on the cover.
In C++ it’s harder to shoot yourself in the foot, but when you do, you blow off your whole leg.     Bjarne Stroustrup
MS-DOS, an OS originally designed for a microprocessor that modern kitchen appliances would sneer at.   Dave Trowbridge
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
It is better to have 100 functions operate on one data structure than 10 functions on 10 data structures.
It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.
I completely love playing and designing games and always will. I am so into games that I listen to game music all day. That may sound strange, but you can guarantee I'm a hardcore gamer and would never let you down by designing a crappy title.   John Romero
Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other.   Carrie P. Snow
We hope that the Internet becomes even more affordable and more ubiquitous over time, and our mission at Yahoo! is to continue to keep our services available AND useful on all these platforms.
If two people write exactly the same program, each should be put into microcode and then they certainly won't be the same.
There used to be this country called the Soviet Union; it's not there anymore. Our technology was better than theirs.    Tom Clancy
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.   Rick Cook
Every program is a part of some other program and rarely fits.
I need to make an okay living. The people who work for us need to. But after you make a comfortable living, how much more do you need? It's like I make a joke about nerd values, because I'm very much in the rich nerd tradition. And you know, we say, like, hey, people pay us for this stuff, like programming. You know, what else do we need?
In 20 or 30 years, you'll be able to hold in your hand as much computing knowledge as exists now in the whole city, or even the whole world.
It is dangerously destabilizing to have half the world on the cutting edge of technology while the other half struggles on the bare edge of survival.    Bill Clinton
Technology is so much fun but we can drown in our technology. The fog of information can drive out knowledge.  Daniel J. Boorstin (American social historian and educator, 1914)
There is some confusion because we only recently began our marketing. We're in an era were people need to think about business processes and applications horizontally...We need to think of the enterprise not as an island of stand-alone technology.     Carly Fiorina
Silos can't interoperate unless the technology does.
After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy.    John Pierce
The best way to prepare [to be a programmer] is to write programs, and to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and fished out listings of their operating system.
Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the ‘most reliable Windows ever.‘ To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ‘the most articulate vegetable ever.
I think there is irony in the fact that the computer is both their chief venue of communication and propaganda and also the mother of all their fears.      Mark Potok
There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses.
The bulk of all patents are crap. Spending time reading them is stupid. It’s up to the patent owner to do so, and to enforce them.
Be nice to geeks when you're in school, you might end-up working for one when you grow-up.
There never was a chip, it is said, that Bill Gates couldn't slow down with a new batch of features.    James Coates
Beware of the Turing tar-pit in which everything is possible but nothing of interest is easy.
The Internet is not just one thing, it's a collection of things - of numerous communications networks that all speak the same digital language.   Jim Clark
One does not learn computing by using a hand calculator, but one can forget arithmetic.
They're growing at three to four times the personal computer market.    Charles Wolf
Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology.   Clive James
A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind.     Joseph Weizenbaum
I see no progress in this industry. These clocks are no faster than the ones they made a hundred years ago.   Henry Ford
Technology is like a fish. The longer it stays on the shelf, the less desirable it becomes.  Andrew Heller
Is it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is meant to be discarded: that the whole point is to see it as a soap bubble?
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.   Edsger W. Dijkstra
Capitalist production, therefore, develops technology, and the combining together of various processes into a social whole, only by sapping the original sources of all wealth - the soil and the labourer.
The new information technology—Internet and e-mail—have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications.
I'm a great believer in new technology and I think new technology is very scary for newspaper companies.  James Packer
Steve Jobs may have the apple, but Bill Gates has the entire orchard !
Computation has made the tree flower.
Documentation is like term insurance: It satisfies because almost no one who subscribes to it depends on its benefits.
There was a time when nails were high-tech. There was a time when people had to be told how to use a telephone. Technology is just a tool. People use tools to improve their lives.
COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
What is the difference between a Turing machine and the modern computer? It's the same as that between Hillary's ascent of Everest and the establishment of a Hilton hotel on its peak.
Any fool can use a computer. Many do.   Ted Nelson
Spending an evening on the World Wide Web is much like sitting down to a dinner of Cheetos, two hours later your fingers are yellow and you're no longer hungry, but you haven't been nourished.
'Intel Inside': The world's most widely used warning label.    Jim Hopper
The Internet's been so great, and it's so nice to have fans do nice, elaborate websites, but I think the down side is some of the things... for real fans to go on and see that 90 percent of the information isn't true or to see pictures that aren't really me, or for them to be able to sell these things, that's one of the down sides, I think.    Denise Richards
The protection of personal information stored on our nation's computer systems is critical to public trust in those networks and to the health of our economy. Christopher Wray
Western society has accepted as unquestionable a technological imperative that is quite as arbitrary as the most primitive taboo: not merely the duty to foster invention and constantly to create technological novelties, but equally the duty to surrender to these novelties unconditionally, just because they are offered, without respect to their human consequences.    Lewis Mumford
Technology: No Place for Wimps!
The Web is like a dominatrix. Everywhere I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit.    Nytwind
In software systems, it is often the early bird that makes the worm.
The march of science and technology does not imply growing intellectual complexity in the lives of most people. It often means the opposite.    Thomas Sowell
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.   Werner von Braun
A program without a loop and a structured variable isn't worth writing.
Our biggest demographic is the intelligent professional. They've got a computer on their desk, they've got a web browser and they check us out. We are many people's morning cup of coffee.    Robert Nemiroff
Home is where you hang your @.
Customers are still setting the technology agenda. Not just you, our customers, but your customers as well. What more and more are telling you is what kind of services they need, and how and when they want those services delivered to them. And in fact, that is just the beginning.
The best museums and museum exhibits about science or technology give you the feeling that, hey, this is interesting, but maybe I could do something here, too.      Paul Allen
You can define advertising as the science of creating and placing media that interrupts the consumer and then gets him or her to take some action.    Seth Godin
God never made his work for man to mend.    John Dryden
If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough.
Any non-trivial program contains at least one error.
This is a big deal. It's a fairly natural partnership; it shouldn't surprise people, ... We're working on bringing this network-is-the-computer, Net services environment.
We are on the verge: Today our program proved Fermat's next-to-last theorem.
Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something.
How could this be a problem in a country where we have Intel and Microsoft?   Al Gore
Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes.
Orchestras only need to be sworn at, and a German is consequently at an advantage with them, as English profanity, except in America, has not gone beyond a limited technology of perdition.   George Bernard Shaw
Computer Science is embarrassed by the computer.
A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to the irrelevant.
We have yet to see the full impact of the open, global marketplace. By 1997 all raw materials and technology will be available everywhere in the world. The only differences between countries and markets will be skill levels, education, and the level of empowerment of the workplace.
In software, we rarely have meaningful requirements. Even if we do, the only measure of success that matters is whether our solution solves the customer’s shifting idea of what their problem is.   Jeff Atwood
Windows is just DOS in drag.
Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have people all across the country know about it.  Mark Leeper
The technology at the leading edge changes so rapidly that you have to keep current after you get out of school. I think probably the most important thing is having good fundamentals.    Gordon Moore
Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is.
I think that it's always possible to have a great company if you have great ideas. I will say that since the web has become more commercialized, it also takes some good financial resources to build a great business, but as I always say, you have to have the idea first.
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.   B. F. Skinner Contingencies of Reinforcement
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.  John C. Dvorak
Fifty years of programming language research, and we end up with C++?       Richard A. O’Keefe
INSERT DISK THREE' ? But I can only get two in the drive !
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming; feedback is the treatment.   Kent Beck
There is so much media now with the Internet and people, and so easy and so cheap to start a newspaper or start a magazine, there’s just millions of voices and people want to be heard.     Rupert Murdoch
It’s ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30 million bytes. You know, less than a compact disc. The human condition is really becoming more obsolete every minute.  Marvin Minsky
I get mail, therefore I am.
Interfaces keep things tidy, but don't accelerate growth: Functions do.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.   Al Goodman
We've arranged a civilization in which most crucial elements profoundly depend on science and technology.    Dr. Carl Sagan
Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage.  Mike Trout
Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.
If you don't want to be replaced by a computer, don't act like one.   Arno Penzias
The computer is a moron.
My understanding is their objective is to increase their capacity for the Internet, search engines. All I know is there's a lot of computers.     Tim Snead
The most exciting breakthroughs of the 21st century will not occur because of technology but because of an expanding concept of what it means to be human.    John Naisbitt
Everybody who runs a Web site knows we're not assured of compatibility.
Though the Chinese should adore APL, it's FORTRAN they put their money on.
Unfortunately this was an older file that this person hadn't opened in quite a while. The person who uses this computer had missed it.   Tim Neale
It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.
Science is not marginal. Like art, it is a universal possession of humanity, and scientific knowledge has become a vital part of our species' repertory. It comprises what we know of the material world with reasonable certainty. . . . Thanks to science and technology, access to factual information of all kinds is rising exponentially.    Edward O. Wilson
Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.
Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering
It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.
The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.     Martin Golding
Paper returns done by hand have an 80 percent accuracy rate, or 20 percent error rate. E-file has more than a 99 percent accuracy rate, because the computer does all the work for you.    Jesse Weller
A great lathe operator commands several times the wage of an average lathe operator, but a great writer of software code is worth 10,000 times the price of an average software writer.
Any significant boost in technology could just as easily be a rigged demo.
Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?
The computer is the most extraordinary of man's technological clothing; it's an extension of our central nervous system. Beside it, the wheel is a mere hula-hoop.
In computing, invariants are ephemeral.
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.   Alice Kahn
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.   Robert X. Cringely
The only business that is ever threatened by improved technologies are those that need to be left behind.
What boots up must come down.
It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC. As potential programmers, they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.    E. W. Dijkstra
Moore's Law - The number of transistors and resistors on a chip doubles every 24 months
The Internet has been the most fundamental change during my lifetime and for hundreds of years. Someone the other day said, "It's the biggest thing since Gutenberg," and then someone else said "No, it's the biggest thing since the invention of writing."
Motto for a research laboratory: What we work on today, others will first think of tomorrow.
It's pretty incredible to look back 30 years to when Microsoft was starting and realize how work has been transformed. We're finally getting close to what I call the digital workstyle.
I also introduce skills like using a hula hoop or jumping rope. I think many kids this age need a break from the computer or video games to learn these very important physical skills.    Gail Centner
It’s really hard to design products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don’t know what they want until you show it to them.
I remember the difficulty we had in the beginning replacing magnetic cores in memories and eventually we had both cost and performance advantages. But it wasn't at all clear in the beginning.
So many good ideas are never heard from again once they embark in a voyage on the semantic gulf.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The more I C, the less I see.
I am sometimes something of a lazy person, so when I end up spending a lot of time using something myself — as I did with Google in the earliest of days, I knew it was a big deal.
Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.      Albert Einstein
The advance of technology is based on making it fit in so that you don't really even notice it, so it's part of everyday life.
Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open windows.
The world is coming to an end... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!
NO, You cannot dial 911, I'm downloading my mail !!!
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Over time, it's becoming more and more understood by people that we're acting in their interests. And that's a very, very powerful thing for our brand.
Never before in history has innovation offered promise of so much to so many in so short a time.
Apple really hasn't weighed in on the sub-$1,000 computer category. Their next step could be refreshing their current products and making pricing changes.
Bruce Stephen
The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
The idea is that instead of going to an online retail site ... and buying a physical CD and having it shipped to you, you actually can buy the song and download the song to your computer hard drive.   Gene Hoffman
Symmetry is a complexity-reducing concept (co-routines include subroutines); seek it everywhere.
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.
Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
The Linux philosophy is "Laugh in the face of danger". Oops. Wrong One. "Do it yourself". Yes, that's it.
There's a lot that can be done for people who are using technology in a better way.
Technology is not an image of the world but a way of operating on reality. The nihilism of technology lies not only in the fact that it is the most perfect expression of the will to power... but also in the fact that it lacks meaning.  Octavio Paz
In computing, turning the obvious into the useful is a living definition of the word "frustration".
Build a program that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming, is not worth knowing.
Commercial jazz, soap opera, pulp fiction, comic strips, the movies set the images, mannerisms, standards, and aims of the urban masses. In one way or another, everyone is equal before these cultural machines; like technology itself, the mass media are nearly universal in their incidence and appeal. They are a kind of common denominator, a kind of scheme for pre-scheduled, mass emotions.    C. Wright Mills
A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked.    John Gall
Perhaps if we wrote programs from childhood on, as adults we'd be able to read them.
Early on, when software was developed by computer scientists, just people working with computers, people passed around software because that was how you got computers to do things.     Tim O'Reilly
Security is, I would say, our top priority because for all the exciting things you will be able to do with computers.. organizing your lives, staying in touch with people, being creative.. if we don't solve these security problems, then people will hold back. Businesses will be afraid to put their critical information on it because it will be exposed.
This is a highly reliable power source. Being a large credit card processor, doing $6 million an hour in transactions, our computers have to work.     Dennis Hughes
Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code.
The science of today is the technology of tomorrow.    Edward Teller
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.    Bumper sticker
The ultimate search engine would basically understand everything in the world, and it would always give you the right thing. And we're a long, long ways from that.
Over the centuries the Indians developed sign language for communicating phenomena of interest. Programmers from different tribes (FORTRAN, LISP, ALGOL, SNOBOL, etc.) could use one that doesn't require them to carry a blackboard on their ponies.
I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
You can try to control people, or you can try to have a system that represents reality. I find that knowing what's really happening is more important than trying to control people.
Bill Gates is so rich because he got his wish when he said: 'I wish I had a nickel for every time a PC reboots'.
The system of nature, of which man is a part, tends to be self-balancing, self-adjusting, self-cleansing. Not so with technology.    E.F. Schumacher
Some programming languages manage to absorb change, but withstand progress.
Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame.   M. G. Siriam
The string is a stark data structure and everywhere it is passed there is much duplication of process. It is a perfect vehicle for hiding information.
The spoken word was the first technology by which man was able to let go of his environment in order to grasp it in a new way.
Any teacher that can be replaced by a computer, deserves to be.    David Thornburg
Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter.    Eric Raymond
It is not the computer's fault that Maxwell's equations are not adequate to design the electric motor.
Giving up on assembly language was the apple in our Garden of Eden: Languages whose use squanders machine cycles are sinful. The LISP machine now permits LISP programmers to abandon bra and fig-leaf.
Food for thought: A fully-protected-and-updated Windows box cannot, by definition, have an uptime of more than 30 days.
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.    Stephen Hawking
Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation...tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego. His anxiety subsides. His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation.   Jean Arp
Adding programmers to a late project makes it later.
MS-DOS isn't dead, it just smells that way.    Henry Spencer
We're seeing how the videos translate to the live shows and how the technology is really reaching kids.    Willie Aames
The medium, or process, of our time - electric technology is reshaping and restructuring patterns of social interdependence and every aspect of our personal life. It is forcing us to reconsider and re-evaluate practically every thought, every action.
I believe that this notion of self-publishing, which is what Blogger and blogging are really about, is the next big wave of human communication. The last big wave was Web activity. Before that one it was e-mail. Instant messaging was an extension of e-mail, real-time e-mail.  Eric Schmidt
A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project takes only twice as long.
The number one benefit of information technology is that it empowers people to do what they want to do. It lets people be creative. It lets people be productive. It lets people learn things they didn't think they could learn before, and so in a sense it is all about potential.
We have the mini and the micro computer. In what semantic niche would the pico computer fall?
You can’t have great software without a great team, and most software teams behave like dysfunctional families.     Jim McCarthy
Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will its most harmful error be discovered.
We're making a major move of the Internet, and runway. Polo.com is a natural extension of both polo.com and our collection business.    Ralph Lauren
Whereas knights of old wore armor of plate, the modern knights of the air wear the invisible but magic armor of confidence in technology.  Mike Spick
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.
There are only two industries that refer to their customers as ‘users’.  Edward Tufte
Hey ! It compiles ! Ship it !
The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it.    Edward R. Murrow
Too few people in computer science are aware of some of the informational challenges in biology and their implications for the world. We can store an incredible amount of data very cheaply.
If you look at the top 20 companies of the world, 19 of them are still brick-and-mortar companies. I have nothing against tech companies. What I am saying is that if you have a car manufacturer or an oil and gas manufacturer, you won’t get the supply over the Net.  Anil Ambani
I get Canadian porno - that's the extent of satellite service and Internet in my house.   Kid Rock
I think it's fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool we've ever created. They're tools of communication, they're tools of creativity, and they can be shaped by their user.
A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages.
Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?   Michael Meissner
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.   Elbert Hubbard
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.  Alan Kay
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.   Edward Shepherd Mead
Computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhapsonly weigh 1 1/2 tons.   Popular Mechanics
A lot of companies have chosen to downsize, and maybe that was the right thing for them. We chose a different path. Our belief was that if we kept putting great products in front of customers, they would continue to open their wallets.
Think   Thomas J. Watson
If Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell-check.    J. Danforth Quayle
It's not that we use technology, we live technology.      Godfrey Reggio
WWW? Nice toy, but what a waste of time.
One man's constant is another man's variable.
If you have a procedure with ten parameters, you probably missed some.
Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that     Margaret Segall
There’s an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone.
Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.       \nIf he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.      \nIf he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there. \nIf he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.  \nHe makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.    \nHe'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.   \nIf he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.     \nIf someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.    \nHe'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.       \nAssuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.   \nIf you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.    \nHe'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.  \nWhile the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.    \nThis year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?    \nHowever...   If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.     \n$$$ Game over. Nerd wins.    - Unknown
Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.  - ???
A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?   - Dunno
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.  - ?
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.    - Unknown
Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9" to continue.   - Unknown
Dear Tech Support:   \nLast year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!      \nThanks ...Troubled User   \n -------  \nREPLY:    \n\nDear Troubled User:    \nThis is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 installed and work on improving the configuration. I suggest installing the background application YesDear 99.0 to alleviate software augmentation.     \n\nThe best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to do this before the system will return to normal anyway.    \n\nWife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and DoBills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0, but beware because sometimes these applications can be expensive.   \n\nWARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.   \n\nWARNING!!! Attempting to install NewGirlFriend 8.8 along with Wife 1.0 will crash the system.   \n\n(see Wife 1.0 manual, Apologize, High Maintenance & Secretary with Short Skirt)     - Unknown
People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.  - Unknown
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?     - unknown
MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers  - Unknown
"Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button."   - Unknown
Never make fun of the geeks, one day they will be your boss.   - My science teacher, Mr.O'Brian
You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.   - Unknown
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.     - Unknown
The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"    - Unknown
9x-7i > 3(3x-7u) = i <3 u :)      - Unknown
Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.  - Unknown
The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.   - Unknown
Use The Best...    \nLinux for Servers    \nMac for Graphics   \nPalm for Mobility     \nWindows for Solitaire     \n- T-Shirt
Roses are #FF0000   \nViolets are #0000FF       \nAll my base    \nAre belong to you      \n- someone at slashdot
Better to be a geek than an idiot.  \n- Unknown
You know you need a life when...    \n1. You spend every Friday night on the computer    \n2. You just finished watching all three seasons of "Star Trek"   \n3. You've attempted watching the entire "Lord of the Rings" trilogy extended versions+ deleted scenes, etc.      \n4. You spend countless hours on youtube  \n5. You spend time reading things like this          \n6. You agree with any of the above...   \n- Dally D
Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.    - Unknown
if YOUTUBE MYSPACE i'll GOOGLE your YAHOO     - a website
Who needs the library? I've got google!   - Jackson Gallagher
A man needs the feelings of kindness to think great than thinking of the greatness to feel good.      - Anuj Somany
JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!     - A shirt i saw on a computer nerd
Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.    - Unknown
Geeks = Know more about computers than their computer teacher, so everyone comes to them for computer problems.    \nNerds = Have no life and only worries about school, no one talks to them.    \nJocks = Know a lot about sports but not much else.              \nGeek's Wife: Completely depend on the geek for tech support. Tend to be pretty good looking.    \nNerd's Wife: nonexistent  \nJock's Wife: only there for money, most likely having an affair with another jock   \n\nSee Geeks are the best!           \n- me
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...  - Unknown
That's a PEBKAC problem. (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair)   - Unknown
Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive.   - Unknown
You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.   - Unknown
Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare.   Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false.                           - Brandon W.
Genesis Take Two    \n1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word.     \n2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.   \n3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. \nAnd God said - Let the Data go to their proper places.  \nAnd he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.   \n4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. \nThus God created computers and called them hardware.   \n5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small and big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory. \n6. And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer will make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data. \n7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE Windows.\n8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone. \nHe took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a creature that would look up at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love the things the Programmer does; And God called the creature: the User. \n9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS and it was Good.  \n10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God. \nAnd Bill said to the User - Did God really tell you not to run any programs ?  \n11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use every program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows or we will die.   \n12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something you did not even try. The moment you run Windows you will become equal to God. You will be able to create anything you like by a simple click of your mouse.   \n13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless - since Windows could replace it. \n14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to the Programmers that it was good.  \n15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers. \nAnd God asked him - What are you looking for? And the Programmer answered - I am looking for new drivers because I can not find them in the DOS. And God said - Who told you need drivers? Did you run Windows?  \nAnd the Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to !   \n16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated by all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you. \nAnd you will always sell Windows.  \n17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows \nwill disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will have to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the Programmers help. \n18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the User you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors and you will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.  \n19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and secured it with a password.    \n20. GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT   - Unknown
A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.  - Unknown
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key     - On a T-Shirt
I wish I could find someone like Google.    \nSomeone to finish my thoughts, correct my mistakes without making fun of me, help me with anything whenever I need it. Someone who would be always there for me no matter what. \nGoogle, you have everything I need in a guy.  \nYou're my prince charming!     \n- Rania Kittan
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny    - Unknown
I reject your reality and substitute my own.  - Adam, Mythbusters
How do I set a laser printer to stun?  - Unknown
When lif gives you a keyboard,  \nmake a bunny rabbit.  \n\n(\ (\   \n(='.')  \n((^)(^)   \n- Kira (Rob drew teh bunneh)
you know what really irritates me? people who say things like:  \n"i looked up idiot in the dictionary and there was a picture of you".  reply?
"well i'm not the one who had to look up idiot in the dictionary. and my one doesn't need pictures you moron!!!"    - ed byrne live at the apollo
Who needs friends? My PC is user friendly.    - Scorch
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?     - Unknown
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.    - Dennis Ritchie
haha.... the people in my brain are laughing at you.....   - Rayven
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
Windows XP -now comes with free anger management courses.
Alert! User Error. Please replace user and press any key to continue.   - Unknown (Paraphrased)
Without geometry, life is pointless.  \nThe power of heart is much stronger than the power of mind to empower our life. - Anuj Somany
C://dos   \nC://dos.run        run.dos.run
Well It looks like an ID10T Error   - IT Support Tech
COME TO THE DORK SIDE...We Have Computers And High-Speed Internet With A Pentium 4 Processor ^_^     - Me
Be rude to a bully and he'll beat you up, be rude to a geek and your computer will never forgive you.    \nonce upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary,    \nover many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'.
While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, \n" 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!"     \nquoth the server, 404.           \nVideo games are bad for you? That's what they said about Rock-n-Roll.       \n- Shigeru Miyamoto
(mathematician love letter)   \nDear love   \nYesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in Trigonometric plane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of Magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated. \nMy love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.  \nYou are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. \nWith love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.  \nCheers  \n- mathematician     \nHand over the calculator, friends don't let friends derive drunk.   \n- Dunno, someone
I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident. I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"
Cool people are just idiots wearing pricy clothes   - -me
ACs are like computers- Both work fine until you open Windows!   - -don't know
i was the type of person who got bullied by people who wore shirts that said  \nCOME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE GOT COOKIES  \nbut they stopped bugging me when i got a shirt that said    \ncome to the nerd side ... we got pie (3.14)
if you give 1000 monkeys 1000 typewriters and an infinite amount of time they will produce shakespeares works. if you give a monkey a computer and five minutes it will program windows      - jdoggett
Unix, DOS and Windows...the good, the bad and the ugly.   - Shahazad
Windows does not detect a keyboard...Please press 'ENTER' to continue...    - Alex
I AM NOT YOUR F1 BUTTON!
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Monopoly's just a game son, I'm trying to control the f***ing world!  - Robin Williams as Bill Gates
F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.    - {{xxoo}}<3
we live in a time where wearing 3D glasses without the lenses make youu look cool:D   - the girl with the ring on her thumb..<3
The thing about smart people is that they always seem like crazy people to dumb
people. \nIt is fruitless to become lachrymose because of scattered lacteal fluid!!! (don't cry over spilled milk!)   \n- Andrea and Kathryn
Nerd-a person lacking a life and completely consumed with education.
Geek-the same as a nerd, but take out education and insert "computers".
Average person-Nerd, but take out "and completely consumed with education".   Dear Jocks,
you say you have had 10 times more girlfriends then me but 10x0=0  sincerly the nerds     - i cant remember!
Windows-"We crash better than anyone else on the market. Frustration guaranteed."
Linux-"Stable as Mount Everest, but don't play games at my house!"
Mac-"A picture is worth a thousand words-so why care about anything else?"
Pretty Much BUM This Film so...
A person who is inherently and intuitively curious is often intellectually and distinctly very serious towards his roles and responsibilities in life.
I don't care if the software I run is unstable crap, as long as it is the LATEST unstable crap.      - Lennart A. Hansen
Who wants to be cool when you can be a nerd      - haley
True love stories don't have endings.   \nA penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax    \nI see fragged people    \n- T-Shirt
SHUT UP AND STOP MAKIN IT YOUR MSN NAME
Sometimes when my internet is down, I forget that the rest of my computer still works.
Science is the art of answering the tough questions, and questioning the easy answers.       - Mark Amend
Never treat somebody’s cleverness as his life’s smartness. Cleverness is to hide the weakness and the smartness is to project the strength of his weakness.
Just cause you dyed your hair brown doesn't mean you will become smarter!    - Sparkling sistas
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.    - Website
People need to stop writing their "suffering" through life on facebook and twitter   Just to be noticed by others
Seriously, a lot of people out there who suffer more and they didn't even say a single word    - Seriously
Just because you don't believe doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
i was uncool before uncool was cool!    - idk??
hey who needs text books, GOOGLE IT!!   - sumting i said to mii social teacher.
The hard drive on your computer will only crash when it contains vital information that has not been backed up.   - Murphy's Laws of Computers
If you cant keep up with me, than get the f*** away from me !      - -nira aguilar
they say the fastest thing in this universe is lightspeed. do they never know "mood swing"?    - fad
Whoa! I can submit my prayers via html based forms!
As a development process, chaos does not scale well.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
What do people mean when they say, "The computer went down on me."    - Marilyn Pitman
Fool me once but don't expect me to be blind.
"The quality of the thought that a person has got inside and sought from outside is likely to decide the quality of the people that has been brought into his life."
when all else fails, just hold ctrl + alt + del..   - electrohydro_squad
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."     - - Mario Andretti
Here's to the band geeks, and the orch dorks, and the nerds. Here's to all those girl who do things that aren't cool. Here's to us, because even though the "hot" guys may never give us a chance, at least we won't be trophy wives.   \nHere's to us.     \n- A Little Girl With A Big Dream
Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!  - enilorac1490
"Hey, it compiles! Ship it!"    - Anon.
In Microsoft world, you are always one click away from harming yourself™  - trustnoguy
What are you thinking about?  \nSingin' a song in my head.  \nWell at least you're not listening to the voices.    \nOh, they're singing.   \n- Cassidee Fosback      \nI just can't seem to hack your heart and spam you with my words. \n- -your average eccentric orange   \nThere is only one satisfying way to boot a computer.    \nThe truth is out there...anybody got the URL?    \n- from a website
Scientists finally found what was wrong the female brain...   \nThey said the left side had nothing right     \nand the right side had nothing left... Enhanced by Smiley CentralP     \n- hanz
"One of the most frightening things about your true nerd, for many people, is not that he's socially inept - because everybody's been there - but rather his complete lack of embarrassment about it."   \n- Neal Stephenson, from the novel Cryptonomicon
GOD MADE MAN, MAN MADE MATH, MATH MADE MAN MAD!   \nGMMMMMMMM
When suspicion or doubt creeps in, peace of mind goes for a walk... and ruins relationship/s...   \n- Gopal Reddy
-you have a phone for a reason, to talk to people. Answer phone calls. And REPLY TEXTS! What's your use in your phone?     \n- lexi-:)
Maybe I am a NERD. But Hey, being nerd is NOT A CRIME.      \n- elle <3
Everyone starts as a noob. Not everyone ends like a pro...  \n- volume
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Who ever called geeks anti-social, we have a social life!!! haven't u ever played world of warcraft?
You Know You Are A Geek When:   \nSign year books using math expressions **Ms. Donnel**Cough**             \nLaugh historically at nothing   \nBuy documentaries for the fun of it     \nCome up with lame comebacks      \nWrite science plays for the fun of it     \nDo extra credit for the learning not for the points           \nYou sit alone at home on a Saturday night and is ok with it                   \nYou talk on the phone_________ times a day.   \nHelp a teacher with his/her master degrees homework    \nYou work in class before the bell rings.            \nYour son’s nickname is a girl’s name       \nWhen you get amused very easily        \nWhen you like playing with tan grams      \nWhen you get obsessed over things very easily    \nGet obsessed over something for 3 years                                         \nWhen you try to get a perfect attendance                        \nWhen you use Geometry to golf     \nYou take joy in being smart               \nWhen you read a book in a whole week or night   \nWhen you finish 300 sudoku’s in a week        \nWhen you finish one book then have to read another one.            \nYou wear suspenders for the fun of it    \nIf your life revolves around sports and school work     \nYou get distracted very easily when you are doing more than one thing at once      \n- Ona- me and my friend Viv         \nComputers will never take the place of books. You can’t stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.    \n- Sam Ewing
you know the velocity of light.....what is the velocity of darkness....??   \n- siddharth...(partially)
i dont remember where i left my mind    \n- diana h mine
Frend 1: wot u call ur wife ?    \nFrnd 2 :GOOGLE      \nFrnd 1 ....why ??    \nFrnd 2 reply: Ask one question she answered lots of  \n"ETC..." End of Thinking Capacity      \n- unknown
What?!? I'm NOT A Dork...Just Special!    \n(on a really dorky hat)    \n- Meredith Stone
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second orders half a beer the third asks for a quarter of a beer. Before the next one can speak, the bartender says "You're all idiots," and pours two beers.   \nTurn on the computer, explore, learn and shutdown those people!  \n- PisoCoin
I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.   \nIf at first you don't succeed, you die      \n- GLaDOS
How mathematicians do IT:   \n Combinatorists do it as many ways as they can.  \n Combinatorists do it discretely.    \n (Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)].  \n Logicians do it by symbolic manipulation.  \n Algebraists do it in groups.       \n Algebraists do it in a ring.     \n Algebraists do it in a field.    \n Analysts do it continuously.    \n Real analysts do it almost everywhere.\n Pure mathematicians do it rigorously. \n Topologists do it openly.    \n Topologists do it on rubber sheets.\n Dynamicists do it chaotically. \n Operations researchers do it with models    \n Mathematicians do it forever if they can do one and can do one more.\n Cantor did it diagonally.    \n Fermat tried to do it in the margin, but couldn't fit it in.  \n Galois did it the night before.     \n Möbius always does it on the same side.  \n Markov does it in chains.     \n Newton did it standing on the shoulders of giants.  \n Turing did it but couldn't decide if he'd finishedDescartes did it planely and with a point  \n The ancient Greek mathematicians did it irrationally  \n Archimedes did it naked whilst running in the streets of Syracuse shouting EUREKA!!     \n Fibonacci did it in sequence  \n Pythagoras did it with two legs at right angles, and a hypoteneus stretching out between them.   \n Cauchy kept getting closer and closer, but never got all the way there.  \n Newton liked to lie tangent to the curves, Riemann preferred the area under them.  \n Einstein said it's important not to stop.   \n Heisenberg was certain of the position he did it in, but unsure of the speed. \n Schrödinger did it in a box until someone observed him. Then he collapsed.  \n- in a facebook group
I've seen every episode of Dragonball Z, collected near to every pokemon in the heart gold AND soul silver version, i've written multiple manga storylines, i've blogged about at LEAST seventeen alternate Harry Potter endings, i've knitted a vast collection of cat hat skullies, AND I have a pretty impressive Yu-Gi-Oh trading Cards collection...
HOW THE HELL AM I A VIRGIN!!!  - Zac "Servbot" James ;)
Hold on..wait..come back..you forgot something..you forgot to take me with you! - just me:/
"I want to be a librarian when I grow up because I'll get paid to tell people to shut up"    \nIt's not bogus, it's an IBM standard.     \n- Esther Filderman
Incase you haven't noticed...Geeks are totally in.    \n- JuliA JardinE
How to tell how much someone knows about computers:  \nIf he uses Linux, he knows a good deal.      \nIf he uses Mac, he knows a decent amount.  \nIf he uses Windows, he might as well be staring out of one for the rest of his life.  \n- Myself