Max Pain  \nComputer Repair | PA, USA | Right | September 12, 2013    \nCustomer: “Thanks for your help. What is your name?”   \nMe: “My name is Max.”    \nCustomer: “Matt?”     \nMe: “Max.”    \nCustomer: “Brad?”   \nMe: “Max.”    \nCustomer: “Jack?”     \nMe: “Max. M-A-X. Max.”    \nCustomer: “Matt?”   \nMe: *giving up* “Yes.”   \nCustomer: “Oh, good, I thought I heard you saying ‘Max,’ but that’s not a real name so I figured that I misheard.”
Not Just The Computer Making A Loud Noise     \nComputer Repair | Mooresville, IN, USA | Right | April 29, 2013    \n(A very angry customer walks into our office.)          \nMe: “Hi! What can I help you with today?”    \nCustomer: “My computer’s broken! Fix it!”   \nMe: “I see you didn’t bring it in with you today. What seems to be the problem?”    \nCustomer: “It doesn’t work!”    \nMe: “How is it not working? Can you turn it on, or does nothing happen when you hit the power button? Does it power up, but it might just be slow from a virus?”  \nCustomer: “You should know this! My monitor doesn’t work! I bought a new monitor, but it doesn’t work! Oh, and my computer is making a loud noise!”  \nMe: “I’m thinking it sounds like there may be one of three things wrong with your computer. If you could bring it in, I’ll take a look at it.”     \n(From this point on, she screams at me every time she speaks to me.)    \nCustomer: “YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY COMPUTER! TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG!”  \nMe: “Ma’am, I honestly don’t know what’s wrong until you bring it in and let me look at it. Until then, I’m not going to be able to give you the answers you need.”  \nCustomer: “TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG!”     \nMe: “Well, ma’am, I think the most likely case is that your motherboard has failed. If that’s true, you’ll need to buy a new computer. It also sounds like your power supply may have failed or you might need a new video card. If either of those two are the case, they’re fixable problems.”      \nCustomer: “TELL ME HOW MUCH A VIDEO CARD COSTS!”   \nMe: “How old is your computer?”    \nCustomer: “IT’S AN ACER!”    \nMe: “Ma’am, first things first. I’m going to have to ask you to keep this conversation at a reasonable volume. Secondly, you yelling at me the brand of your computer when I ask for the age doesn’t help me. If you could just bring it in to me—”     \nCustomer: “YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! I’M NEVER DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU AGAIN!”     \n(The woman storms out of the office. I yell back before the door closes.)   \nMe: “You never did business with us in the first place!”
Tai-Want It Now    \nComputer Repair | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Right | February 23, 2013    \n(I am a customer waiting in line when I hear this exchange between the repair person and a customer.)    \nRepair Person: “Alright, ma’am, we’re going to have to order some parts from the factory to get this fixed. They should be here in about 10 days.”    \nCustomer: *very angry* “10 days?! Are you serious? Why the h*** is it so long? What is wrong with you people?! In Taiwan, they could get parts the same day!”    \nRepair Person: “Ma’am, in Taiwan, the factory is right next door.”   \nCustomer: .leaves, defeated.
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 12     \nComputer Repair | Serbia | Right | January 28, 2013   \n(I work in a computer repair service where we fix computers, reinstall windows OS and the like. A girl storms in the shop, ignoring the line and starts shouting at me.)   \nCustomer: “Hey! When you reinstalled my Windows, you broke the wireless receiver in my laptop! I can’t connect to my wireless network! I want my money back and I want it now!”    \n(Other customers are obviously uncomfortable. I decide to test her laptop on the spot, on the counter, and it connects to our shops wireless network without any problems.)      \nMe: “See, it connects to the internet. Maybe you didn’t set up your connection properly.”     \nCustomer: “It connects to your network, but not mine. The programs you installed must be wrong ones! I want my money back!”   \nMe: “If it connects to one network, it will connect to any. What kind of device are you using to broadcast your wireless signal?”    \n(She is silent.)    \nMe: “Are you connecting to your own wireless network?”    \nCustomer: “…No.”    \nMe: “Are you sure you aren’t trying to steal someone else’s internet without knowing their password?”    \nCustomer: *blushes, lowers her head, and rushes out of the shop
Supportive Of Technical Support   \nComputer Repair | USA | Right | December 5, 2012        \nTechnician: “Hello, how may I be of service?”   \nCustomer: “You’re a technician?”      \nTechnician: “Yes, sir. I’ve worked here for 3 years. I assure you that I’m qualified to help you with any problems you might have.”     \nCustomer: “You’re the first female tech I’ve spoken to. You must really be good.”        \nTechnician: “Thank you.”        \nCustomer: “Do you ever get nasty comments?”    \nTechnician: “Unfortunately, yes I do sometimes. I’ve learnt to deal with them.”    \nCustomer: “Well, they can all stick it where it don’t shine! And if you’re seriously having trouble with a particular guy, let me know and I’ll make sure they’ll regret it!”     \n(From then on, this customer always asked for our female technician.)
Don’t On-Call The Goose That Lays Your Golden Eggs   \nComputer Repair | South Carolina, USA | Working | December 4, 2012    \n(My boyfriend works for a local mom-and-pop computer repair business. Despite being told that his work is consistently excellent, the following takes place when he gets his third paycheck.)          \nOwner: “Can I talk to you in private?”       \nMy Boyfriend: “Sure.”  \nOwner: *hands him his paycheck* “We’re going to have to put you on an on-call basis only. Unfortunately, we can’t afford to pay you any more for your hours in the shop.”   \nMy Boyfriend: “…What?”  \nOwner: “We’re not getting the business we need right now. We had to dip into our savings to even pay your check.”     \nMy Boyfriend: “Right. What about [front desk person]?”               \nOwner: “What about her?”     \nMy Boyfriend: “I notice you’ve cut my pay and my hours, but you haven’t done anything to her.”   \nOwner: “But [front desk person] has been with us from the beginning!”    \nMy Boyfriend: “I understand and respect that, but all she does is run the front desk. And as slow as we’ve been, all she’s been doing is playing on Facebook. I’m a technician. I’m doing the work that actually brings money into this place.”   \nOwner: *silence*     \nMy Boyfriend: “So, let me make sure I’m getting this straight: you’re basically getting rid of me, the one person who has done everything possible to help this business. I set up a ribbon-cutting with the local chamber of commerce in an effort to help get the word out for your business, got in touch with [local TV station] to set up advertising for your business, and successfully negotiated maintenance contracts with several local businesses, including the local police department. I’ve maintained a good rapport with any customer that I have done repair work for, and you’re cutting 100% of MY hours in favor of [front desk person], who has done precisely jack s*** to help this business? And you’re basically firing me without officially firing me?”  \nOwner: “…Yes.”       \nMy Boyfriend: “I’m going on break.”   \n(My boyfriend didn’t go back to work after his break. He called me to let me know what happened. I helped him write a scathing resignation letter that night He got another better-paying job a few days later, and is much happier! The last we saw, the owners were facing an eviction.)
Spyware Is Strength    \nComputer Repair | South Carolina, USA | Right | June 28, 2012       \n(I run my own computer repair business out of my home. A customer has just arrived to pick up their computer, and I am explaining what I have done.)   \nCustomer: “That didn’t take long. I expected you to have my computer for a few more days.”      \nMe: “I didn’t have to do much. You had two nasty viruses and some spyware to remove, but everything is good as new now.”   \nCustomer: “What? You removed my spyware? No!”   \nMe: “Excuse me?”   \nCustomer: “But my computer can’t run without spyware! It keeps Big Brother from watching!”  \n(She storms out without paying, and I decide to them her go. Not surprisingly, they come back a few weeks later after gunking up their computer again!)
Forget-PC-Not     \nComputer Repair | Chicago, IL, USA | Right | April 26, 2012 \n(I’m working as operator for a computer repair shop.)       \nCustomer: “I’d like to check on the status of my repair, please.”    \n(I look her up in our system and her computer has been ready for 48 days.)    \nMe: “Ma’am, your computer has been ready for 48 days.”     \nCustomer: “I know! I forgot all about it. Today, my daughter asked about the computer. I was all, ‘What computer?'”     \nMe: “Well, if you could pick it up before the 21st, that would be great. Otherwise, we have to recycle it.”      \nCustomer: “Don’t do that! I need my computer!”      \nMe: “Don’t worry, ma’am. Today’s the 8th. You have some time.”         \nCustomer: “But what if I forget?”     \nMe: “Please don’t!”
RAIDed Storage    \nComputer Repair | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | May 27, 2011    \nMe: “Hello, how can I help you?”   \nCustomer: “Hi, I need my hard drive put back into my computer.”       \nMe: “Okay. Why did you take it out? Is it defective?”         \nCustomer: “No, and I didn’t.”    \nMe: “Well, who did?”   \nCustomer: “The police…”