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How to stop worrying

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lanux128:
now that i've read the article, i realise that they're using the gtd technique.. in the book, David Allen prescribed writing a "some day, maybe" list to keep all the not-so important, niggling tasks out of one's frontal lobe.. anyway, good link, justice.. :up:

nudone:
i 'worry' about whether this kind of thing can work.

consciously you have removed or shifted the thing that is worrying you. subconsciously you have done nothing at all, well, you have performed an action not unlike performing a ritual or token gesture (maybe that is enough for the subconscious to be satisfied).

do these conscious gestures resonate with the subconscious part of the mind - the subject you are worrying over is still there, consciously ignoring it but perhaps subconsciously fretting over it until the stress manifests itself in either physical or psychological problems.

i find myself worrying over things, sometimes real concerns, sometimes trivial things that are exaggerated because the larger concerns seem sated, i.e. the big worry hole needs to be filled with something even to the point of inventing a problem to fill it.

personally, i've found that being occupied with an activity you need to give full attention to will remove the problem of worrying about something. (oh, this is just being distracted isn't it - we all do it - i thought i was going to say something profound.) i think the point i'm trying to make is that if you are occupied you'll stop worrying about the trivial problems - they cease to be an issue and you realise they really weren't important. the other point i'd like to make is that i think, by nature, the human mind will find things to worry about or become annoyed about or become stressed about even when life is running perfectly smooth.

it's like we have a worry quota or a stress box that needs to keep topping itself up - if there isn't a real problem to satisfy it the brain will invent one as a substitute. the level of worry or stress or no less real just because the problem is a fabricated one.

probably stated the obvious there - which i'll apologize for.

edit:
just wanted to add that the 'worry/stress' thing i'm talking about is the kind that lingers in the back of your mind all day long, every day, all week, all month, all year - not the type of worry that you believe you'll make a fool of yourself at a particular moment in time like a public speaking event. though, i guess, they could well be the same thing.

wuwei23:
i 'worry' about whether this kind of thing can work.

consciously you have removed or shifted the thing that is worrying you. subconsciously you have done nothing at all, well, you have performed an action not unlike performing a ritual or token gesture (maybe that is enough for the subconscious to be satisfied).-nudone (September 10, 2007, 11:21 AM)
--- End quote ---

At least with the GTD approach, writing everything down is only the start of the process. You need to have an established review system as well - one that you totally trust - in order to be able to stop worrying about what you need to do. If you can't rely on it to remind you at the right time, then the worry will creep back in.

Writing lists is easy, staying committed to regular reviews is a lot harder (for me, at least). That's generally where my process starts to fall apart :)

app103:
The only way I am going to stop worrying (or worry less) is if other people do it for me...or should I say, do their own fair share of worrying that they are supposed to be doing, so I don't have to do it for them.

tomos:
The only way I am going to stop worrying (or worry less) is if other people do it for me...or should I say, do their own fair share of worrying that they are supposed to be doing, so I don't have to do it for them.
-app103 (October 05, 2007, 10:39 PM)
--- End quote ---

i have the experience that if i worry (too much) for/about other people
that they sort of sit back & think along the lines -
oh that's okay, I don't have to worry about it /look after it [+ the subconcious bit: cause tom will ]unfortunately it can be a bit of a circular situation that can be hard to break out of
[...says he right in the middle of one such... :D]

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