Just (re)found this gem of hackerdom:
How to hire and threat your hacker in a corporate environment.
Link to the full text below the TOC ;-)
Section 0: Basic understanding.
0.0: Won't my hacker break into my computer and steal my trade secrets?
0.1: Was it a good idea to hire a hacker?
0.2: How should I manage my hacker?
0.3: Wait, you just said "10 times", didn't you? You're not serious, right?
0.4: I don't understand this at all. This is confusing. Is there a book on this?
Section 1: Social issues
1.0: My hacker doesn't fit in well with our corporate society. She seems to do her work well, but she's not really making many friends.
1.1: My hacker seems to dress funny. Is there any way to impress upon him the importance of corporate appearance?
1.2: My hacker won't call me by my title, and doesn't seem to respect me at all.
1.3: My hacker constantly insults the work of my other workers.
Section 2: Productivity.
2.0: My hacker plays video games on company time.
2.1: But it's been two weeks since I saw anything!
2.2: Isn't this damaging to productivity?
2.3: My hacker is constantly doing things unrelated to her job responsibilities.
2.4: My hacker is writing a book, reading USENET news, playing video games, talking with friends on the phone, and building sculptures out of paper clips. On company time!
2.5: But my other workers are offended by my hacker's success, and it hurts their productivity.
Section 3: Stimulus and response
3.0: My hacker did something good, and I want to reward him.
3.1: My hacker did something bad, and I want to punish him.
3.2: I don't get it. I offered my hacker a significant promotion, and she turned it down and acted offended.
3.3: My company policy won't let me give my hacker any more raises until he's in management.
3.4: I can't believe the hacker on my staff is worth as much as we're paying.
Section 4: What does that mean?
4.0: My hacker doesn't speak English. At least, I don't think so.
4.1: I can't get an estimate out of my hacker.
4.2: My hacker makes obscure, meaningless jokes.
4.3: My hacker counts from zero.