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Author Topic: Webfind: How to hire and treat your own hacker  (Read 2592 times)
gjehle
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lonesome linux warrior

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« on: September 01, 2007, 04:53:13 PM »

Just (re)found this gem of hackerdom:
How to hire and threat your hacker in a corporate environment.
Link to the full text below the TOC ;-)

Quote
Section 0: Basic understanding.
0.0: Won't my hacker break into my computer and steal my trade secrets?
0.1: Was it a good idea to hire a hacker?
0.2: How should I manage my hacker?
0.3: Wait, you just said "10 times", didn't you? You're not serious, right?
0.4: I don't understand this at all. This is confusing. Is there a book on this?

Section 1: Social issues
1.0: My hacker doesn't fit in well with our corporate society. She seems to do her work well, but she's not really making many friends.
1.1: My hacker seems to dress funny. Is there any way to impress upon him the importance of corporate appearance?
1.2: My hacker won't call me by my title, and doesn't seem to respect me at all.
1.3: My hacker constantly insults the work of my other workers.

Section 2: Productivity.
2.0: My hacker plays video games on company time.
2.1: But it's been two weeks since I saw anything!
2.2: Isn't this damaging to productivity?
2.3: My hacker is constantly doing things unrelated to her job responsibilities.
2.4: My hacker is writing a book, reading USENET news, playing video games, talking with friends on the phone, and building sculptures out of paper clips. On company time!
2.5: But my other workers are offended by my hacker's success, and it hurts their productivity.

Section 3: Stimulus and response
3.0: My hacker did something good, and I want to reward him.
3.1: My hacker did something bad, and I want to punish him.
3.2: I don't get it. I offered my hacker a significant promotion, and she turned it down and acted offended.
3.3: My company policy won't let me give my hacker any more raises until he's in management.
3.4: I can't believe the hacker on my staff is worth as much as we're paying.

Section 4: What does that mean?
4.0: My hacker doesn't speak English. At least, I don't think so.
4.1: I can't get an estimate out of my hacker.
4.2: My hacker makes obscure, meaningless jokes.
4.3: My hacker counts from zero.

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scancode
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I will eat Cody someday.

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« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2007, 04:59:27 PM »

... if only some of my former employers had this text ...

AMAZING!
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Armando
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« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2007, 10:08:08 PM »

This confirms one thing : Hackers are INTJs. Or are they?
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"I suppose it can be said that I'm an absent-minded driver. It's true that I've driven through a number of red lights on occasion, but on the other hand, I've stopped at a lot of green ones but never gotten credit for it."
Glenn Gould
housetier
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« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2008, 06:47:04 PM »

This is just awesome!
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