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Author Topic: engineer joke  (Read 11294 times)

mrainey

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engineer joke
« on: April 04, 2007, 08:47 PM »
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down.

"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer.

"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."

"I thought it might be an grounding problem", says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."

They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: "Well, what do you think?" "Ummm perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?"
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nite_monkey

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Re: engineer joke
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2007, 09:07 PM »
lol, thats pretty funny. I don't see how the computer tech's idea would work. I haven't heard that joke.
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mouser

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Re: engineer joke
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2007, 09:13 PM »
I *think* the joke is that the computer engineer suggests the nonsensical idea that amounts to basically just "try it again", must like if your computer crashes, you just try rebooting it and hope it starts working. 

However my personal experience tells me the computer engineer's solution is by far the best:
1) it only takes a minute to try it, and if it works you've saved yourself a ton of time and effort vs the other suggestions.
2) let's face it, sometimes when you "try it again" it works..  the world is a mysterious place.

mrainey

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Re: engineer joke
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2007, 09:49 PM »
you just try rebooting it and hope it starts working


And lots of times it does ...
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app103

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Re: engineer joke
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2007, 09:50 PM »
I heard this one just a little bit differently:

3 engineers travel on a desert road in a good old '76 VW Beetle. One is a mechanical engineer, the second one is an electric engineer and the last one is a computer engineer.

The VW Beetle starts making weird engine noises and stops. Then, the mechanical engineer goes back, looks at it for a couple hours and gives his veredict:

"This thing needs a complete overhaul of all friction components, plus the warpage limits of the engine heads are beyond specifications..."

The electrical engineer takes over and starts staring at the engine...after three hours he gives out his veredict:

"This thing isn't working because the voltage present on the battery is not enough, and the electromagnetic effect of the generator is too low for the car to run correctly..."

The computer engineer stares at the engine bay for 6 hours, looking under the mass of cables, hoses, until he stands up and tells his companions:
"We are doomed. I can't find the reset button on this thing!!!"



or this one:

Three engineers were riding in a car: a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft software engineer. The car stalled, and they rolled it to the side of the road.

The mechanical engineer popped the hood, looked in and said "Look. The drive belt is loose. All we have to do is tighten it up and the car will work just fine."

The chemical engineer replied "No, that's all wrong. The problem is fuel contamination. We have to drain the fuel, filter it, and then everything will be A-OK."

The Microsoft software engineer told the other two "No, I've seen this problem before. We have to get back in the car, close all the windows, shut down the car, get out, get back in, start up the car, open all the windows, and then it will run."

2stepsback

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Re: engineer joke
« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2007, 12:20 AM »
surely most know this, but for those who don't:

http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor/
is a place where you have 99% of jokes clean and readable by children or before your family.

Enjoy!!
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f0dder

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Re: engineer joke
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2007, 03:20 AM »
surely most know this, but for those who don't:

http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor/
is a place where you have 99% of jokes clean and readable by children or before your family.
Sounds boring - "good clean family entertainment you can trust"? :P
- carpe noctem

tomos

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Re: engineer joke
« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2007, 04:50 AM »
Someone emailed (Hi E! :) ) me this about a year ago
I forwarded it to another friend who told me variations had been doing the rounds since Win95 days..

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared
the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had
kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
driving$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating:  If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love
this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
to buy a new  car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you
could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on
only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning  lights would
all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal
Oeration" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again  because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old  car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Please share  this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate -
their  computer!
Tom

app103

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Re: engineer joke
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2007, 04:40 AM »
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.

My mother had a Plymouth Duster back in 1979 that did that. It would stall and refuse to restart after attempting to make a left turn. It was pretty scary.

She had to go everywhere by making only right turns.  :-[