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Is Cybersex Cheating?

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mouser:
Yeah, i think Perry summed up my views pretty well too.  This means of course that the answer to the question will depend on the understanding you have with your significant other.

Perry Mowbray:
This is a little OT, but it is parallel...

Some years ago I spent a couple of years in Papua New Guinea. There are two interesting facts from PNG that relate (somewhat) to this thread:

1. Polygamy is legal in PNG
2. Female prisons are filled with women who have either murdered the "other" wife or the husband of the "other" wife.

Some things were never meant to be shared, no matter what the understanding concerning the arrangement. I guess that's where a written marriage contract (if there is such a thing) would fail completely: in a deep relationship there is no limit to the level of sacrifice or sharing that you are called to.

app103:
I have been fighting with myself as to whether I wanted to add my 2 cents to this debate. I surely didn't want my post to be the first female point of view, because I felt it could possibly be misunderstood if I was the first female to respond.

I could write volumes on this subject, and maybe someday I might, but for now I will hand you this idea:

Sometimes cybersex isn't what you think. There are times when it's more art than anything else.

Would it be cheating if 2 artists got together and painted a picture of a couple engaged in a sex act? Of course not.

So if 2 creative people got together and co-authored an impromptu spontaneous work of erotic fantasy fiction through the use of chat, and did it for the sake of it being an artistic work of fiction, expressing their creativity without the thought of it being anything more than that, would it be cheating? (Yes, there are people that actually do this...usually in a public chatroom with an audience.)

They are no more cheating than an actor or actress is, during a steamy, love scene in an R rated movie. Or if a romance novel was written by 2 writers.

In a case like this, the parts they play are just that...performers...and authors...nothing more.

Things are not always what they would first appear to be. Each case is very individual and the answer unique to the situation.

Bottom line: Is cybersex cheating? Maybe. Maybe not.   :two:

nudone:
app, that was the most interesting response there's been.  :Thmbsup:

Perry Mowbray:
Actually not knowing what CyberSex was I just looked it up on WikiPedia.

There are other issues/problems I didn't quite understand:
cybersex satisfies sexual desires
--- End quote ---
I didn't understand how that was possible.
Cybersex allows "real-life" partners who are physically separated to continue to be sexually intimate.
--- End quote ---
Certainly: this is a digital version of the time honoured "love letter".
It can enable participants to act out fantasies in which they would not engage in real life
--- End quote ---
Wikipedia had this as an advantage, but I'd imagine that if you are participating in something (at whatever level) that normally you have qualms about, that that is NOT a healthy exercise??

I'll grant you app that if two people consented to cybersex in the sense that it was (or would be) just a creative and fictional exercise, then by definition they would not be participating with their whole selves. Then it's like acting. But I wonder how often it is actually like this?

- Perry

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