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Last post Author Topic: Cute jokes thread  (Read 158907 times)

TaoPhoenix

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #200 on: April 01, 2014, 03:53 AM »
Actually when trapped in places with the wrong level of ambient bustle, getting someone on a cell phone right next to you is really annoying! I've thought about just pulling out my phone and making up a random fake call just to compete in noise-space!

You mean like this?



Yep! Though with the handset phone as an extra prop. But yeah.


TaoPhoenix

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #201 on: April 16, 2014, 07:12 PM »

I like to occasionally post a joke note from some totally unrelated thread over here. Over in that sorting thread, Randall Munroe of xkcd made a guest blog on Reddit.

http://www.redditblo...-sorting-system.html

And then he coined an awesome little phrase:
"Locust Locus". And for some reason that struck me as a perfect little project for someone with time to burn to do to the Locus Plague of the Old Testament!

 ;D

bit

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #202 on: May 08, 2014, 07:08 PM »
Actually when trapped in places with the wrong level of ambient bustle, getting someone on a cell phone right next to you is really annoying! I've thought about just pulling out my phone and making up a random fake call just to compete in noise-space!

You mean like this?



Yep! Though with the handset phone as an extra prop. But yeah.


^ kudos! So what is this; people can't talk exclusively to themselves out loud?
That's like the neighbor whose noisy live dog is allowed to bark all night, but if you put out a set of speakers and do an equally loud playback of his dog, yours isn't a real dog so you're disturbing the peace.
Actually, though, there's an answer for the dog; throw doggie treats; they can't eat and bark at the same time, and it tends to settle the dog down because now he knows someone out there likes him.
Come to think of it, a corollary would be if the annoyed older guy signalled the waiter and asked him to send the noisy younger guy a complimentary menu item (not sure how it would work out though).
Maybe try to get the noisy guy roaring drunk on free wine or scotch and soda? jk

That reminds me of being stuck in a doctor's office with a loud tv set; it's possibly justifiable when there are others present, but not when I'm the only one in the waiting room.
At times like that, I find myself wishing I had a universal tv remote control hidden in my shoulder bag.

Actually I came here to post about frustration in studying my lessons and forgetting what I learned. Persistence is the key.
Lessons in 'what' is beside the point; the more my neurons try to learn from my lessons, the less they seem to learn, making me feel like a moron.
So the real lesson seems to be that a lack of new neurons when doing less of my lessons is making me more into a moron?

But the more I study, the more I forget, so why not quit studying so I can just become brilliant?
« Last Edit: May 08, 2014, 07:21 PM by bit »

Target

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #203 on: May 08, 2014, 07:43 PM »
That reminds me of being stuck in a doctor's office with a loud tv set; it's possibly justifiable when there are others present, but not when I'm the only one in the waiting room.  At times like that, I find myself wishing I had a universal tv remote control hidden in my shoulder bag.

google for TV-B-gone...

TaoPhoenix

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #204 on: May 09, 2014, 12:53 AM »
^ kudos! So what is this; people can't talk exclusively to themselves out loud?
That's like the neighbor whose noisy live dog is allowed to bark all night, but if you put out a set of speakers and do an equally loud playback of his dog, yours isn't a real dog so you're disturbing the peace.
Actually, though, there's an answer for the dog; throw doggie treats; they can't eat and bark at the same time, and it tends to settle the dog down because now he knows someone out there likes him.
Come to think of it, a corollary would be if the annoyed older guy signalled the waiter and asked him to send the noisy younger guy a complimentary menu item (not sure how it would work out though).
Maybe try to get the noisy guy roaring drunk on free wine or scotch and soda? jk
...

Or something.
You're on to something, about different social standards. Your barking dog is "just it", but yeah if you put speakers out, you're using "technology" and that's a "bad thing". Even if the dog thinks someone likes it, some of them just bark because they're wired that way. Munch munch munch Bark Bark Bark Bark.


Curt

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #205 on: June 03, 2014, 08:39 AM »
"is this glass of beer half full, or half empty?"

01.gif
02.gif
03.gif
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06.gif


leinad1

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #206 on: June 03, 2014, 03:50 PM »
why did the chicken cross the road, version 2:

 (see attachment in previous post)




I heard the same joke a little different. And I mean no disrespect at all... A blonde and a brunette were at a lake across from each other and the brunette hollered to the blonde... "Hey! How did you get over there?"... And the blonde replied... "I am over here!"

Curt

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #207 on: August 09, 2014, 07:19 AM »
coder's shoe:


640-KeyboardTrainers.jpg

----------------------
The original photo from reddit / imgur is 2368x3200 pixels:

org_keyboard shoes.jpgCute jokes thread


Deozaan

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #208 on: August 09, 2014, 09:01 AM »
That's not a coder's shoe. It's a hipster's shoe. Too many missing keys. You couldn't code with that shoe. It's missing vital keys for programming.

There's not even an up arrow? :down: :down:

Fun idea; awful execution.

Curt

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #209 on: September 05, 2014, 02:04 AM »
Experience the power of a bookbook

No, this is not Apple... Laugh together with me and the rest of the world.


Published the 03rd of September 2014

At only 8mm thin, and weighing in at less than 400g, the 2015 IKEA Catalogue comes pre-installed with thousands of home furnishing ideas. Join the revolution at http://IKEA.sg/bookbook or http://IKEA.my/bookbook .

Available in the IKEA store from 8 Sept (Malaysia) and 18 Sept (Singapore).
-IKEA Malaysia

2014-09-05_085811.jpg

tomos

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #210 on: September 05, 2014, 04:07 AM »
^ :)
reminds me of a video a year or two ago, where the new technological idea of 'the book' gets introduced. Two monks, I think, one showing the other how it works. (I *think* it was another one from Scandanavia somewhere.)

Anyone remember that one?
Tom

bit

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #211 on: February 10, 2015, 02:02 PM »
What kind of tree does tomato paste come from?
A pastry.  :P

bit

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bit

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #213 on: February 22, 2015, 04:43 PM »
Q. Why can't you win a lawsuit against a banana?
A. Because it will always win on a peel.

bit

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #214 on: February 22, 2015, 04:44 PM »
Experience the power of a bookbook

No, this is not Apple... Laugh together with me and the rest of the world.


Published the 03rd of September 2014

At only 8mm thin, and weighing in at less than 400g, the 2015 IKEA Catalogue comes pre-installed with thousands of home furnishing ideas. Join the revolution at http://IKEA.sg/bookbook or http://IKEA.my/bookbook .

Available in the IKEA store from 8 Sept (Malaysia) and 18 Sept (Singapore).
-IKEA Malaysia
(see attachment in previous post)
Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Mistake an Onion for an Apple and you cry alone.  ;D
« Last Edit: February 25, 2015, 07:01 PM by bit »

bit

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #215 on: May 17, 2015, 03:50 PM »
Then there was the one about the finger-size carp which was sauteed on one side only and the clumsy waiter tripped at table and dumped it onto the zwiebak in the first known case of a carpette falling onto the toast butter-side down.

bit

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #216 on: May 17, 2015, 03:54 PM »
My very first donationcoder post says #483.
My next post also says #483.
And the next and the next and the next!
Where's post #1?
Where's post #2?
Where's post #3?
They all say #483!
There's something seriously wrong here!
I'm getting sick and fed up with this crap!

Curt

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #217 on: May 17, 2015, 05:16 PM »
^ :) reminds me of a video a year or two ago, where the new technological idea of 'the book' gets introduced. Two monks, I think, one showing the other how it works. (I *think* it was another one from Scandanavia somewhere.) Anyone remember that one?

yes, "of course" ... but it was 8 years ago!



It was (very) Norwegian.

-------------

My very first donationcoder post says #483. My next post also says #483. And the next and the next and the next! Where's post #1? Where's post #2? Where's post #3? They all say #483! There's something seriously wrong here! I'm getting sick and fed up with this crap!

it's a good thing you posted it here in this particular thread, otherwise I would have fallen into the trap and started talking about the difference between "Post" and "Posts".

« Last Edit: May 17, 2015, 05:21 PM by Curt »

bit

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #218 on: May 17, 2015, 11:31 PM »
My very first donationcoder post says #483. My next post also says #483. And the next and the next and the next! Where's post #1? Where's post #2? Where's post #3? They all say #483! There's something seriously wrong here! I'm getting sick and fed up with this crap!
it's a good thing you posted it here in this particular thread, otherwise I would have fallen into the trap and started talking about the difference between "Post" and "Posts".

;D heehee jk
« Last Edit: May 05, 2019, 12:34 PM by Deozaan, Reason: fixed formatting »

tomos

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Re: Cute jokes' thread
« Reply #219 on: May 18, 2015, 07:27 AM »
^ :) reminds me of a video a year or two ago, where the new technological idea of 'the book' gets introduced. Two monks, I think, one showing the other how it works. (I *think* it was another one from Scandanavia somewhere.) Anyone remember that one?

yes, "of course" ... but it was 8 years ago!



It was (very) Norwegian.

thanks Curt, I enjoyed that, again
(is that typical Norwegian humour then?)
Tom
« Last Edit: May 05, 2019, 12:33 PM by Deozaan, Reason: fixed YouTube embed »

Deozaan

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Re: Cute jokes thread
« Reply #220 on: May 05, 2019, 12:18 AM »
NECRO-THREAD, ARISE!!!!!



Q: Why did the blind man fall into the well?
A: Because he couldn't see that well.

MerleOne

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Re: Cute jokes thread
« Reply #221 on: May 05, 2019, 01:44 AM »
Nice fall !
.merle1.

Curt

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Re: Cute jokes thread
« Reply #222 on: May 05, 2019, 02:35 PM »
Thank you, Deozaan, for causing yet another resurrection, so soon after Easter Sunday!

Meanwhile, I have learned that the proper term not is "cute jokes", but "dad jokes". I have also been told that my so-called jokes may need more edge. So, here we go:


  • A woman walks into a gun shop. “It’s for my husband”, she tells the owner.
  • “Did he tell you what calibre to get?” the owner asks.
  • “Are you joking? He doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him!”

« Last Edit: May 07, 2019, 02:03 AM by Curt »