I made a poem years ago about one of my co-workers, and here it is:
There once was a man named Slimp
That had a belly shaped like a blimp
He had a big bucket head
An ass full of lead
and his eyes bulged out like a shrimp
True story, and an actual description too. Ever played the game "Redneck Rampage"? He looks just like Bubba, the one on the right...