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Author Topic: Buy Your Uranium Ore Here~! Today Only $49.95~! =D  (Read 2295 times)

Renegade

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Buy Your Uranium Ore Here~! Today Only $49.95~! =D
« on: September 04, 2012, 09:56:30 AM »
No. Seriously. Not joking!


STRONG CAUTION - This is definitely a pee-your-pants-laughing alert! ;D :P



http://www.amazon.co.../180-5251849-8577462

It's real uranium ore.

41KH6M0LWJL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

But check out some of the comments... :P

Quote
So glad I don't have to buy this from Libyans in parking lots at the mall anymore. January 21, 2009
By Kyle J. Von Bose
I bought this to power a home-made submarine that I use to look for prehistoric-era life forms in land-locked lakes around my home town in Alaska. At first I wasn't sure if this item would (or could) arrive via mail, but I was glad to see it showed up with no problems. Well, almost no problems.

Unfortuantly my mom opened my mail, because she does not respect people's privacy. She was pretty upset to see Uranium Ore. After a long argument and me running away from home again, she finaly stopped being such an idiot and I was able to get back to work.

The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was bying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price! I just hope the seller does not run out, because I have many projects on my list including a night vision sasquatch radar, an electromagnetic chupakabra cage, a high velocity, aerial, weighted Mothman net and super heated, instant grill cheese sandwhich maker.


*****

Ok for cleaning teeth, not so great for killing ants.. December 3, 2007
By Nero Goldstein
Picked this up for use in one of my kid's 'diversity' projects in school (Great Success!), and stuck the leftovers in the cabinet next to the baking soda.

Ran out of toothpaste, and remembered how you're supposed to be able to use baking soda to clean your teeth, so of course, I accidentally used this instead, and Wow! all I can say is, my teeth have never been cleaner! They sparkle, they tingle, and for some reason, they STAY clean now, no matter what. Highly recommended!

However, when I ran out of that fire-ant killer powder stuff, I figured I would try some for that too.

Big mistake!

Boy, it sure did not kill those ants!

Fortunately, those suckers get slower as they get bigger, so I have been able to use a shovel to take care of most of them, one at a time though, the sneaky devils.

And the darn trash man refuses to take them away..

I would have given this product 5 stars for the teeth and the project on embracing diversity, but I deducted one star because of the giant mutant ants.

*****

Not very enrichment friendly, September 4, 2012
By Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Iran) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Uranium Ore
After ordering 17,897 units of this product I was very disappointed to find I still didn't have enough Uranium for my project.

Several of my lead researchers advised me that I would need at least need another 500,000 units to go ahead with my 'final solution.'

I was so angry at this news I had four of them beheaded. Now I am left with one clumsy scientist and 17,897 units of low grade Uranium which are of absolutely no use to anyone.

Not only that, the Uranium you see sold above is of low grade and I would not recommend it to anyone looking to blow up a small to medium sized country off the Mediterranean sea.

If you want my advice, contact the Russians.

Since doing so I have never looked back. Allahu Akbar!

*****

Needs better instructions, June 20, 2012
By Rich Meyer "Rich" (St. Clair, PA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Uranium Ore
I have been using this product (well, I bought about a hundred of them), and I still have not gotten my super-powers. Is there anyway the manufacturer can send me some info and maybe a timeline as to how long this is supposed to take? I have these bits duct tape all over my body, but all I'm getting is an annoying rash and these weird lumps on my head and testicles. I hope this doesn't mean I'm getting some lame ass unicorn powers, because the one lump is on the side of my head and that would look bloody silly to have a Power Horn there. Not to mention I'll have to do some severe work on my jockey shorts if the horns sprout there.

Am I just supposed to leave the uranium by another creature and then let it bite me, like what happened to that annoying Parker kid down the street? I was wondering because I put one in my aquarium because the light broke last week and now the sponge at the bottom has teeth. I really don't want any sort of sucking powers, simply because I don't need the hassle at Justice League meetings, but if that's what I gotta do, I'll do it. Again, I worry about the lumps in my groin, as I really can't see scrotally-activating powers as being marketable.

Can someone send me a link as to what my next step should be?

Oh god! Way too good!
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Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Stoic Joker

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Re: Buy Your Uranium Ore Here~! Today Only $49.95~! =D
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2012, 11:35:34 AM »
Quote
Great Product, Poor Packaging
I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.
Published on May 14, 2009 by Patrick J. McGovern

 ;D ;D

wraith808

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Re: Buy Your Uranium Ore Here~! Today Only $49.95~! =D
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2012, 11:45:02 AM »
Quote
So glad I don't have to buy this from Libyans in parking lots at the mall anymore. January 21, 2009
By Kyle J. Von Bose
I bought this to power a home-made submarine that I use to look for prehistoric-era life forms in land-locked lakes around my home town in Alaska. At first I wasn't sure if this item would (or could) arrive via mail, but I was glad to see it showed up with no problems. Well, almost no problems.

Unfortuantly my mom opened my mail, because she does not respect people's privacy. She was pretty upset to see Uranium Ore. After a long argument and me running away from home again, she finaly stopped being such an idiot and I was able to get back to work.

The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was bying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price! I just hope the seller does not run out, because I have many projects on my list including a night vision sasquatch radar, an electromagnetic chupakabra cage, a high velocity, aerial, weighted Mothman net and super heated, instant grill cheese sandwhich maker.

This is great!  ;D  ;D

SeraphimLabs

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Re: Buy Your Uranium Ore Here~! Today Only $49.95~! =D
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2012, 11:59:27 AM »
Yes, it is indeed the real thing.

But what they send you is a little pellet of some of the lowest reactivity the mines produced.

It's meant for demonstrating radiation and for scientific curiousity, they're nowhere near hot enough to do any major damage as long as you handle it with care (do not eat / wear gloves when handling / keep it away from where you sleep at night)

I previously saw a company selling it in actual "rock" form, again extremely low radiation output, but good enough to put in a lead-lined case in a classroom to show the students what real Uranium looks like.

rgdot

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Re: Buy Your Uranium Ore Here~! Today Only $49.95~! =D
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2012, 12:00:31 PM »
;D ;D ;D

Quote
I purchased this product in order to eat it and use the radioactive powers gained to rob a local bank, bringing me into conflict with my nemesis, the thunder god Thor. By the time it kicked in, it was 4:50 and by the time I got over to the bank in the Decatur Street traffic the furgin bank was closed. I tried to melt my way in but no go and my stomach was starting to hurt. I turned to the heavens and screamed out, "ThoooOOOORRRR!!!" And I thought the clouds parted but I guess not. So I got in my car and drove over to, well, it was going to be Denny's but I quickly realized that the emergency room was a better bet. The doctor there didn't know how to summon Thor and honestly, I was not really up to fighting him by that time. My midsection was purple as a eggplant and I had about a thousand IV tubes in me. Anyway long story short, I died, and I found that none of the religions really got it right. No light or tunnel, no old guy with a gray beard, no reincarnation. It was like one of those long anterooms at a movie theatre when you superhave to take a leak. I looked around all over for Asgard and it took like, six months to get there and, long story short, Thor wasn't even there. You may want to try the [...] douche syringe instead.

mwb1100

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Re: Buy Your Uranium Ore Here~! Today Only $49.95~! =D
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2012, 01:02:59 PM »
Reminds me of this story: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hahn

Renegade

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Re: Buy Your Uranium Ore Here~! Today Only $49.95~! =D
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2012, 01:17:09 PM »
Reminds me of this story: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hahn

That is just way too awesome! :) Smart guy!

Back in the early 90's, I read about a fellow that published about how the average person living on $50k or $75 (I forget exactly) could afford to build a nuclear device in 5 years.

Maybe someone else remembers the details there.
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Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

IainB

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Re: Buy Your Uranium Ore Here~! Today Only $49.95~! =D
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2012, 07:29:05 PM »
Amusing.
I like the:
Quote
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Josh

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Re: Buy Your Uranium Ore Here~! Today Only $49.95~! =D
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2012, 07:30:11 PM »