It's easy to say that until its you, and you're the one in a bad spot.
If you're able to back out of such a deal, then great... but don't look down on those who can't afford that type of stance. Especially when you have a family to support... Pyrrhic victory and all...
Can't speak for anyone but myself, but I have
been in such bad spots. And I acted according to my own sense of values and morality. But I also have an advantage in that my family operates as a unit
. We discuss things with each other and we agree, as a group, on what our major courses of action and options are. We share the decisions, and we share the consequences - as well as the rewards that come out of them.
It might be different if you're in a family that has the traditional "breadwinner/dependents" situation where one person is looked to and expected to always decide and make things happen. But I wouldn't know. My grandparents ran their home as a community. My parents ran the house I grew up in that way. And now my family unit runs ours the same. And it works for us just like it did the previous two as well as the next generation I have direct experience with.
I also agree there's no need to criticize somebody for lying down if they believe they need to. (I cut some of Edvard's comment out of the portion I agreed with and quoted.) But it still doesn't make it right. Possibly it's necessary. (Maybe.) But it's seldom right. That's the difference between sometimes doing what's expedient vs doing what's right.
I also can't agree that these battles can be nothing more than Pyrrhic victories at best. Caving in on something you know is not right only sets the stage for bigger problems down the road. And many times, all it takes to bring about major change is one person standing up and saying "No. I'm not going to accept that." At least if history is anything to go by.
Regarding the argument of having a family to feed, about all I can say is I hear that bandied about as the grand excuse so often that I'm immediately skeptical of about half the people who say it. Sometimes it really is true. Up to a point. But most often it's just shorthand for: I'm watching out for myself, and I don't care what anybody thinks - or who else gets hurt. So piss off. Oh! And did I tell you I also have kids?
At the end of the day, I think it probably all comes down to what you really believe and value. And how you see the world. I personally refuse to accept the notion that I'm helpless and have no options. Because in the final analysis you always have the option to say "No!"
What you have to decide is how important it is - and how much you're willing to pay for saying it.
It's not an easy call. I know that firsthand.