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superboyac
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« on: October 06, 2011, 01:05:38 PM » |
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Check this out:
The floor of the building I work on is full of engineers, mostly male by about a 90:10 ratio. So the men's bathrooms are very busy. Furthermore, we don't have a kitchenette or anything like that, so a lot of people use the bathroom to do various activities such as: washing dishes, brushing teeth, gargling, shaving, the whole nine yards. The urinals (three of them) are uncomfortably close together (literally an inch between the edges with no partitions) so the middle one is never used since you can't even really spread your legs to should width, which is the default urinal position. Also, being engineers, who are "different" sort of folk, the bathroom environment is disgusting. Awful sounds, awful smells, and the worst part is that it's always packed. To make matters worse, the janitor cleans the bathroom (or does some work in there) multiple times a day, which I find weird because it's just weird to run into the janitor in the bathroom more than once a day, and multiple times a week. And if you're already in there taking a shit, he might just come in anyway slothering the mop around and banging on the doors and slapping the toilet paper canisters.
As a result, I found the bathroom on the floor below to be much more pleasant. No engineers, and a lot of women. So the bathroom hardly ever has anyone in there, and it's always clean. So I've been doing this for a while.
Well, today I go down and there's a note pasted on the inside wall so people who take a dump can read the passive-aggressive whatever. Apparently, it bothers some men that there are people from other floors using their bathroom. The not demanded that I eat more bran, or something like that. It also asked me to make my shit smell better, which i would love to know how to do. Finally, something not very coherent about taking webcam pictures and posting it somewhere, which is a joke of course, but a pretty passive aggressive one.
So now I'm bothering people with my bathroom habits. Never expected that one.
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Shades
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« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2011, 01:20:01 PM » |
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You are an engineer...make a toilet that freeze-dries the "content" instead of flush. Then move the content to a location where it is out of nostril reach. O yeah, and automatically lights a match too  |
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f0dder
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« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2011, 02:29:17 PM » |
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You are an engineer... Is he? With bathroom sensitivities like that, I'd expect marketing |
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 - carpe noctem |
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Stoic Joker
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« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2011, 02:31:37 PM » |
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Hay, if all they want a is nicer movement, give it to them. Shit in the sink and leave a bow on it.  |
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superboyac
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« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2011, 02:52:06 PM » |
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Hay, if all they want a is nicer movement, give it to them. Shit in the sink and leave a bow on it. Oh man!! Ultra gross!!!! |
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Stoic Joker
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« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2011, 02:56:41 PM » |
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Hay, if all they want a is nicer movement, give it to them. Shit in the sink and leave a bow on it. Oh man!! Ultra gross!!!! It's all about upping the bar...  |
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Shades
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« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2011, 03:29:27 PM » |
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@Stoic Joker: You were clearly thinking; 'Let it sink in....' As you have to something about the smell when the sink is full, create some sweet smelling birthday cake candles and use them as well |
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superboyac
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« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2011, 04:11:02 PM » |
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Here's how you deal with a full sink:  |
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nudone
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« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2011, 04:26:44 PM » |
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I think this is blog worthy, call it The Engineers Log or something, I think you could develop it into quite a saga if you try - should be a most amusing read.
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f0dder
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« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2011, 04:34:44 PM » |
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call it The Engineers Log or something ...no wonder they complain |
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- carpe noctem |
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superboyac
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« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2011, 04:41:06 PM » |
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call it The Engineers Log or something ...no wonder they complain  |
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Stoic Joker
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« Reply #11 on: October 06, 2011, 05:16:32 PM » |
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@Stoic Joker: You were clearly thinking; 'Let it sink in....' As you have to something about the smell when the sink is full, create some sweet smelling birthday cake candles and use them as well I'm going to overlook the scurrilous accusation that I was (or would ever be caught) thinking clearly ... Because you are indeed correct in that the candles would make a perfect over-the-topping.  |
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40hz
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« Reply #12 on: October 06, 2011, 06:38:10 PM » |
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You are an engineer... Is he? With bathroom sensitivities like that, I'd expect marketing  (Sorry I'm laughing SB. But that was funny!) |
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superboyac
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« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2011, 07:17:32 PM » |
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You are an engineer... Is he? With bathroom sensitivities like that, I'd expect marketing (Sorry I'm laughing SB. But that was funny!) That was the point! Maybe I'll finally get the balls to do an open mic standup: the sad engineer. |
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Edvard
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« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2011, 06:53:41 AM » |
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I have worked night shift for most of my working life, so a busy bathroom was never a concern. However, I do have an interesting bathroom story: One place I worked at was in an older multi-story office building downtown, the kind with a marble-column facade and brass fittings in the elevators. One night around break time, a female co-worker came to me and said "come here, I want to show you something".  She was the 'weird' girl on shift that I was on friendly terms with, and had gotten to know her well enough that she actually wanted to show me some curiosity, and not making overtures of fraternization. She went to the shift manager's office (not unusual, it was sparse,always open, and shared between 3 shift managers and various personnel) and grabbed a key from the top drawer. She then took me to the elevator and we went up 3 floors. When the door opened, we got out and she led me around a corner where a women's bathroom was. "It's ok, there's nobody here" she said and opened the door. It. was. immaculate.White marble counters and floors, brightly lit, a modest chandelier hanging from a cathedral ceiling, the whole 9 yards and then some. Most curious was a wooden door at the other end, marked with a brass plaque as "The Quiet Room". My co-worker took me to the door and opened it with the key she had purloined. Inside was a simple carpeted room about 6 feet by 10 with two orange tweed-covered chairs, a couch, two of those old two-tier coffee tables popular in the '70s with a desk lamp and stylish ashtray on each one. A single large window over the couch offered a heady view of the city northward. She kneeled on the couch to face the window, opened it, lit a cigarette and said "Isn't this place great? I wish it were on our floor". I lit one for myself and joined her gazing over the city lights, chit-chatting until break time was over. One of my best cigarette breaks ever, and we only had opportunity to go there twice again after that before she went back to working on day shift. A year later, the office closest to that ladies' room expanded their office into the space the "Quiet Room" occupied. Ah, memories... |
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« Last Edit: October 07, 2011, 07:03:14 AM by Edvard »
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All children left unattended will be given a mocha and a puppy.
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Renegade
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« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2011, 08:27:52 AM » |
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Hay, if all they want a is nicer movement, give it to them. Shit in the sink and leave a bow on it. Bwahahahaha~! I love it~! Better after a spicy, greasy meal I suppose. It reminds me of the old "fecalgram.com" site. (defunct) |
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superboyac
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« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2011, 10:41:06 AM » |
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I have worked night shift for most of my working life, so a busy bathroom was never a concern. However, I do have an interesting bathroom story: One place I worked at was in an older multi-story office building downtown, the kind with a marble-column facade and brass fittings in the elevators. One night around break time, a female co-worker came to me and said "come here, I want to show you something". She was the 'weird' girl on shift that I was on friendly terms with, and had gotten to know her well enough that she actually wanted to show me some curiosity, and not making overtures of fraternization. She went to the shift manager's office (not unusual, it was sparse,always open, and shared between 3 shift managers and various personnel) and grabbed a key from the top drawer. She then took me to the elevator and we went up 3 floors. When the door opened, we got out and she led me around a corner where a women's bathroom was. "It's ok, there's nobody here" she said and opened the door. It. was. immaculate.White marble counters and floors, brightly lit, a modest chandelier hanging from a cathedral ceiling, the whole 9 yards and then some. Most curious was a wooden door at the other end, marked with a brass plaque as "The Quiet Room". My co-worker took me to the door and opened it with the key she had purloined. Inside was a simple carpeted room about 6 feet by 10 with two orange tweed-covered chairs, a couch, two of those old two-tier coffee tables popular in the '70s with a desk lamp and stylish ashtray on each one. A single large window over the couch offered a heady view of the city northward. She kneeled on the couch to face the window, opened it, lit a cigarette and said "Isn't this place great? I wish it were on our floor". I lit one for myself and joined her gazing over the city lights, chit-chatting until break time was over. One of my best cigarette breaks ever, and we only had opportunity to go there twice again after that before she went back to working on day shift. A year later, the office closest to that ladies' room expanded their office into the space the "Quiet Room" occupied. Ah, memories... Beautiful story!! |
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superboyac
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« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2011, 10:41:45 AM » |
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OK, here's the actual thing!  |
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skwire
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« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2011, 10:55:02 AM » |
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I'm sure the DC Collective can come up with an appropriate retort. |
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Renegade
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« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2011, 11:34:18 AM » |
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That's just simply rude. I'd write on in in big red marker:
GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS DOUCHEWAD.
Or perhaps something slightly shorter, like just the first 3 words. Oh... what would really make it super cool is to... Write on the paper: GO FUCK YOURSELF~! In shit! Schmear it all in shit! Hahahahah~! |
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f0dder
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« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2011, 11:35:01 AM » |
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Hahhaahahahha, Renegade - you're so sick! Lovin' it  |
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- carpe noctem |
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superboyac
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« Reply #22 on: October 07, 2011, 11:44:54 AM » |
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Hahhaahahahha, Renegade - you're so sick! Lovin' it OH man! That would be the ultimate response, though. |
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Stoic Joker
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« Reply #23 on: October 07, 2011, 11:54:59 AM » |
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Not entirely sure how these NSFW tags work but... Comment removed to protect the curious from themselves... |
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« Last Edit: October 09, 2011, 02:32:34 PM by Stoic Joker »
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skwire
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« Reply #24 on: October 07, 2011, 11:55:37 AM » |
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If they're going to bring kazoos, I say you bring a trumpet or an air horn to make sure they ALL know you're about to perform some 45° angle-bombing.
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