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Centurylink is on CracK

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Stoic Joker:
So Friday night I get home from work, with a fully loaded to-do list of client updates only to find out that my internet connection is down.

Why was it down? Well, because CenturyLink (my ISP's current name) is on CracK. They had an unrequested/announced/wanted/needed update to do, and they plowed through the list of folks using 3rd party contractors that obviously know less about telco that my friggin dog does.

When the neighbors saw the black SUV, with out-of-state plates, magnetic signs, and a scruffy ragamuffin with shabby, baggy clothes, and his hat on back-wards prowling about our house. They ended up having a lengthy debate about strolling over to shoot his silly ass. I like my neighbors...

CenturyLink's "Tech Support", is the most pathetic bunch of Flowchart Reading Morons I have ever had the misfortune to be stuck on the phone with.

They new nothing of the system-wide update that was going on.
They completely ignored the information I gave them about the "Service Vehicle" that was there.
They made no attempt to even check if the line was active.
They insisted on resetting my router, even though the issue had nothing to do with the part of the config that gets reset.
They were incapable of grasping the incredibly basic concept of I've already tried a different router (I keep several spares) which -duplicating the results (x3...)- crystal clearly proves that there is nothing wrong with the fucking router.

After pissing an entire hour down the drain, I finally get kicked up to an "engineer" who after keeping me on hold for yet another half an hour ... admitted that:

There was an existing work order for my line...
They couldn't "see" me either. Even with the low level protocol tests that are supposed to identify my NID.

Well...Welcome to the land of Duh!!!

They offered to get someone out there sometime between 8am and 5pm the next day (Saturday). Great... Way to narrow it down. Now I get to sit here with my thumb up my ass all freaking day waiting for who knows what.


Thankfully the guys that showed up (at damn near 5...) were actually good at what they did. They were also quite helpful. And fought tooth and nail with the idiots at the main office who wanted to put it off until Monday...Because some paperwork hadn't quite cleared yet. Paperwork?!? Oh hell no...

The pair I'm on was not connected to anything at the CO. Hm... and that didn't throw up a flag why??

They had to give me a new IP Address, because apparently they'd misplaced mine (And nobody there is apparently capable of understanding WTF STATIC Means...).

The first new IP Address they gave me wasn't even in the same range, as the hardware I was connected to... (e.g. it worked, not.)

An hour and a half later, the tech finally managed to wrangle an IP that would actually work out of someone at the main office. But this was only after he at one point, point blank told the brain dead drone on the other end of the line that he was in fear of his life if he tried to leave the location with the connection still down. Now mind you I'd made no threats of any kind. He was simply doing whatever he had to to get a proper reaction out of the dead space on the other end of the line. And is seems that it does indeed truly require a confirm-able life & death emergency to get one of these dip-shits up off there lazy retarded asses to go find a god damn supervisor.


So... If anyone is ever wondering why I have such a "harsh" attitude towards large corporations... (see above) :D


The two guys that came to the house Saturday, deserve a raise. The rest of the company should be immediately sterilized in defense of the gene pool.

Ath:
You frightened me with this story, Stoic :o

Glad it got solved, but isn't this one of those reasons to switch to another ISP, with real technicians in the office, who actually know what they are doing? If even the field techs are acting like this to their 'colleagues', there's not much hope for the rest of that company :(

nudone:
What a nightmare. But an entertaining read.

40hz:
Flowcharters!!!  >:( "Step one. Then step 2. Don't ever think - just do."

Last time I dealt with someone like that they brushed what I was telling them aside, netted in, and then proceeded to remotely "brick" my client's main data switch. ("Yes Rashmi - ALL the friggin' panel lights are simultaneously blinking on and off - and NO, holding in the reset button and cycling power isn't fixing it. C'mon! We've already done this five times in a row....What?... What's that?..."We" need to try doing it one more time just to be sure?  Ok...)

Good thing (for them) it happened after business hours on a Friday.

steeladept:
I, unfortunately, have been on all sides of that situation from my employer alone.  The "flowcharters" often get fired if they don't prove they went through everything regardless of how idiotic it is - which is rediculous, but true.  The smartest of them tell you that even though even that *can* get them fired and go through it anyway (often, these same guys and girls will skip a few steps ahead to at least save some of the time in the known futile effort).  From the tech support side - well - lets just say it really helps to have friends in the right places to bypass the crap.  And in the customer's seat - complain like a CEO over the littlest things about the entire experience.  Explain it in long winded detail to a manager who is REQUIRED to listen to your complaint.  The longer the better.  As they get bored with the explaination, don't let up...Remember, they HAVE TO listen to the full complaint - it is their job.  It doesn't fix the situation, but it does get you tagged for special consideration so they don't have to listen to it ever again.  Remember, the squeeky wheel gets the grease, and in large enterprises, like everything else this is in triplicate.  Sqeek louder, longer, and no one will want to deal with you.  If they don't want to deal with you, they take special care to make sure they don't have to.  Otherwise they don't care.  Me, I prefer to just switch to smaller companies that actually care when I have the choice.

In general, I have found Telecommunications Companies to be right behind the Entertainment industry when it comes to poor customer service.  That said, there are some good ones and they are almost exclusively regional or smaller that actually have to compete for business.

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