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Slashdot Question: How to Recover Stolen Laptop if you Know Thief's IP Address?

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mouser:
Today on slashdot is a great question.  It's from someone who had a laptop stolen, and was able to catch the thief's "IP ADDRESS" (the network address which shows what internet access point they are connecting from).  But he's now in a quandary about how to get someone to track down the ip to a specific person so that the thief can be caught.  I've wondered the same thing..

I even contacted the local FBI office and they said they're 'not interested' in the case despite it now crossing state lines. Am I chasing my own tail here? How can I get someone to pay attention to the fact that all the police need to do is file some RIAA-style paperwork to find the name associated with this IP address and knock on the right door to nab a criminal and recover my property? How can I get my laptop back — and more importantly — stop this criminal in his tracks?

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http://ask.slashdot.org/story/10/07/12/2253218/Retrieving-a-Stolen-Laptop-By-IP-Address-Alone

rxantos:
I really doubt the police will do anything about it. Is interstate, thus the jurisdiction is of the FBI. And since its worth less than $50k, the FBI would not likely do anything.

mwb1100:
He should let the authorities know that it's a stolen next-gen prototype Apple "iLapPhone".  That should get some doors knocked down.

do you guys have any promising leads?- the Dude
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Leads? Yeah sure, I'll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. They've got four more detectives working on the case...-cop
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JavaJones:
They've got us working in shifts...

- Oshyan

parkint:
This article got me to thinking.
So, now, my laptop has a simple batch file that runs in the Startup group.  It displays a message that reads: "Your location and identity has been identified and the proper authorities are on their way to capture you and recover this stolen property!"

{This came to me as I recalled an incident that occurred with a good friend (whom the world lost to Leukemia).  In the days before 2001 he exercised his geeky sense of humor by installing a batch file, that ran at startup, that performed a countdown; with some message about an ignition or an explosion.  It was his personal machine and he got a little laugh out of it in business meetings.  When required to fly on business he thoughtlessly handed the laptop over to the airport security (this was before the days of the DHS), who dutifully turned it on.  My friend had a lot of explaining to do to a far-less-than-tech-savvy security person!! }

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