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Author Topic: PC Monitoring - Need Help  (Read 2479 times)

arshadbh

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PC Monitoring - Need Help
« on: July 10, 2010, 06:28:59 AM »
Hi All,

This is my first day here, I'm looking for a software to monitor my 12 year's old duaghter's pc. Is there any software available for free?? But she shouldnt know that i have installed the software and there should not be any evidence in the pc?? i know my needs are too much (im not very good in computer). i heard about "Teamviewer".. what abt it??
please help me

thank you all

40hz

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Re: PC Monitoring - Need Help
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2010, 09:02:51 AM »
Welcome to Donation Coder

I think you need to seriously reconsider your strategy regarding monitoring your childrens use of the family PC.

Secretly monitoring use the way want to do it does nothing to engender trust or encourage responsible personal behaviors. It can also have the exact opposite effect on your relationship with your daughter.

The simple fact you want to install this software without her knowledge would seem to indicate  your primary interest is in spying on her activities rather than dissuading her from what you fear she may be getting up to. This raises some ethical issues for me because the only two words I know that are used to describe the practice of covertly watching someone's activities are 'spying' and 'voyeurism.'

As a parent you have a responsibility to raise your child as best you are able. Secretly watching her internet usage is not a good way to accomplish that goal.

If you feel you need to do something to control web access, there are several so-called parental filters that can be used to block sites you may consider inappropriate for her to view. Far better, however, would be to have a a long and serious talk about what the rules are for Internet use in you home - and then let it be known that there are ways to monitor her PC but that you'd rather not feel you ever needed to take such a drastic measures.

If your goal is deterrence, that should be enough. :)

-----

Note: Be very careful if you do install monitoring software despite what I've suggested. While the jury may be out on whether or not a parent can electronically monitor her child's activities, it's definitely not when it comes to monitoring somebody else's child as part of the process. So while you could claim a right to know what she's texting or file forwarding - you don't have a similiar claim on the responses she is getting in return. So even under the best circumstances, you only have a (debateable) 'legal right' to her half of the conversation.  Since the other party has a "reasonable expectation of privacy" you're getting into some dangerous legal waters. Some parents have been prosecuted for this. The court didn't have a problem with them monitoring their own child. But they had a real big issue with a parent doing it to somebody else's child.

And when Internet usage is composed of something like 90% 'social use' in that age bracket, it's almost impossible not to spy on your own child without spying on somebody else's.  



  
 
 
 
« Last Edit: July 10, 2010, 09:10:10 AM by 40hz »

arshadbh

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Re: PC Monitoring - Need Help
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2010, 01:06:59 AM »
Thank you for your kind reply. :)

Let me make it clear that its not a psychological issue.. i believe that i have the right to lead her to a good way till she turn 18 and after that she has to face the world alone, I totally understand that she is a individual person she has her own life. Its just that as a father I want to keep a eye on her because some time she spend too much time on pc instead of studying… and I should know with whom she chatting and make sure that she is safe, etc. I’m sorry, I’m not here to get advice from people “how to deal with my daughter”..[b] if anyone can help me with the software please let me know.. [/b] Kind regard :)


cmpm

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Re: PC Monitoring - Need Help
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2010, 06:48:26 AM »
Obviously either/or the parent and/or the child is not ready for this '12 year old' to use the net.

I agree with 40hz.

With my kids, as soon as they could reach the keyboard they were using the computers.

I had them using the computer in the family room, till I felt they were ready to have one in their own room.  And sure I'm aware they surfed some porn and cursed, but we talked about those and other subjects regarding the net.

It is a responsibility whether you are a child or parent or anyone.

So there is no need to yell here, arshadbh, to be heard.

And responsible parenting does not stop when the child turns 18, or any age.

Just think of what would happen if this child found out you have been monitoring the child's net usage behind her back for 6 years. Are you going to ask for software that monitors who and what is talked about at school next? I work at a school, and I assure you the net has nothing kids are not saying in person to person 'chats'.

Gwen7

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Re: PC Monitoring - Need Help
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2010, 01:52:39 PM »
@arshabdh:

rather rude response don't you think?

best brush up on what constitues proper forum ettiquet. comments like your second one won't win friends or make people inclined to offer their assistence if you make a habit of behaving like that towards someone who was trying to help.   

Uncle Larry

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Re: PC Monitoring - Need Help
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2010, 07:39:30 AM »
Hello Gwen7:

I rather disagree with this < "rather rude response don't you think? ">.  In fact, I believe arshadbh showed remarkable restraint.  His or her original post was clear, and was a request for something specific.  The initial response from 40hz was (IMHO) rather rude.  If you asked a mechanic friend of yours how to fix a concern with your vehicle, which happened to be a pick-up truck, and instead of assistance you received a lengthly lecture on saving the planet and gas guzzling and such, would you maybe think the response was presumptuous and rude?

Speaking as a father here -- when my middle son was 15 (he's now 24 and a firefighter) I found out he was planning on sneaking out with his buddies by logging his chat activity with NetNanny.  I was able to intervene and keep him home.  That night, two of his friends broke into a high school and stole computer equipment and one was later apprehended.  Brad was completely pissed at the time, hated my guts and all that.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.  We have a great relationship now.  The 2 buddies are no longer friends of his, one is a stoner who lives at home with his parents and the other has significant criminal record. 

As a kid in the 70's I personally dabbled in things which could have killed me - these days its not pot and acid and free love, its meth and crack, HIV and herpes and simply dabbling can result in catastrophic outcomes.  I'm only saying any parent doing his or her best to keep their child from making a permanent mistake has my sympathy and understanding.  I'm not comfortable shooting off glib and rather patronizing commentary.  This is not a Disney movie here - it is life, and death.

Just my 2 ¢


tomos

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Re: PC Monitoring - Need Help
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2010, 08:00:05 AM »
I have a tendency to see both sides of a coin (can be a PIA at times and of course the ability deserts me when I'm personally involved)

I actually thought both posts were fair enough -
~ OP
~ 40hz gives his opinion, and warns in the note at the end against something the first poster might not have considered
~ arshadbh says no thanks to the opinion, and requests - a bit loudly - only help with the software (& either misses or ignores 40hz's note)

I do have an opinion as well btw but I think now is not the time or the place...
Tom
« Last Edit: July 14, 2010, 08:02:38 AM by tomos »

daddydave

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Re: PC Monitoring - Need Help
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2010, 08:19:00 AM »
While I agree in a general way with 40hz's advice and don't think either arshadbh or 40hz was rude in the least, every parenting situation is different and I think arshadbh has to be given the benefit of a doubt.

From 40hz's response, I assume he is a parent. If not, I have another rant. ;)

If bad things happen to other people, it's karma. If bad things happen to me, it's kismat!

Stoic Joker

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Re: PC Monitoring - Need Help
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2010, 10:47:23 AM »
Given the fast and loose nature of the english language... Just because you view/read/hear a conversation doesn't mean you'll have a clue as to it actual context. I proved this back when I was 16 and my dad tried sneaking a tape recorder on the home phone line. It did him no good - I knew it was there - My friends knew the meanings he missed.

Being a parent, I agree with 40Hz on all levels. You can't know what your child is up to, without knowing your child. Electronic boundries (/keepers) only setup the rules for when/where the games begin after trust is lost.

I've had much the same conversation with clients on several occasions. Some went for the monitoring applications after, some did not. Ultimately, it seldom took long for the kid to get around it.

JavaJones

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Re: PC Monitoring - Need Help
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2010, 12:13:32 PM »
I'm with Tomos, I didn't think anyone was being particularly rude. There's good advice in this thread, from 40hz and others on one side, and from ha14 on the other. If all that is wanted is monitoring software, ha14's post has some of the "usual suspects" to try.

- Oshyan