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silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

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IainB:
Cry-baby.
Kylie Minogue, Robbie Williams and Elton John were walking over a bridge.

Kylie trips, and gets her head jammed between the railings.
 
Without a sideways glance, Robbie pulls aside her G-String, and bonks her senseless!

He stands back and tells Elton, "Your turn!"

Elton bursts into tears.

"What's up?" asks Robbie.

Elton sobs, "My head won't fit through the railings!"

IainB:
Psychology 101 - Group behaviour.
If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result ...  all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.  Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away.

Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs.  To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.  The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment......  with enthusiasm, because he is now part of the "team".

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by the fourth, then the fifth.  Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs.  Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water.
Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana.

Why, you ask?  Because in their minds...that is the way it has always been!

This, my friends, is how bureaucracy operates...  and this is why, from time to time:
ALL of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME.

kyrathaba:
Good one, Iain!

kyrathaba:
I have to share something with you all that happened to me this
evening...guy to guy.

So I arrive home this evening. I park in the garage, get out of the car,
walk around the back of the car and notice that a squirrel is hanging upside
down from the bird feeder. This is not unusual, and like many other folks it
drives me crazy to see them hoarding the bird's food, so I give the squirrel
my usual "Hi-yah! Git outta there!".

To my surprise, the squirrel shows no reaction to my warning. So now I'm a
little annoyed that he should be so bold as to just ignore me, and I let out
what I would describe as my best rabid cougar imitation (I don't know how to
spell it but, if you ask, I'll let you hear it sometime). Again, the
squirrel shows no reaction - so I approach the courageous varmint with
purpose (but also with some caution).

He hangs there as I approach; he doesn't even MOVE!  Then I see that he is
clearly stuck or caught, and could not run away even if he wanted to.  It
was also clear, that he was dead.

Though the exact cause of death has not been formally determined, I am quite
sure that death came as a relief to this poor guy.

There is something about being male that I think bonds us all together. That
is, as males, regardless of species, I think when you see the attached (or
below) picture(s) you'll have the same reaction I did...

ouch.

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

MerleOne:
It seems you got it by the balls.... Poor guy.

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