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Last post Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]  (Read 1429289 times)

TaoPhoenix

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4475 on: May 06, 2015, 02:09:34 AM »

Epic line from a Spam that just appeared here (which will be gone soon but the line deserves to be laughed at!)

(Solemn visage and voice, like a C rate wise man.)

"After washing that person precisely before you go to sleep, night products should be applied just."

:tellme:  ;D

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4476 on: May 06, 2015, 02:36:30 AM »
Epic line from a Spam that just appeared here (which will be gone soon but the line deserves to be laughed at!)
(Solemn visage and voice, like a C rate wise man.)
"After washing that person precisely before you go to sleep, night products should be applied just."
:tellme:  ;D
_________________________

That is a pretty good example of Engrish as she is spoke.
However, the subject of that particular spam post rather shook me to my foundations:
Quote
"cause despair or can induce a headache"
_________________________

I kid you not: that line is absolutely straight out of my Eng.Lit. master's report on me after a particularly gruelling semester at high school.
It was a turning point for me, because it was an improvement on the previous semester's report which had been pretty bad, I can tell you.

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4477 on: May 07, 2015, 07:06:56 AM »
I don't know where to post this, and when you read it, you'll know why... The stupid in this will smack you in the back of the head and then punch you in the face.

WARNING: This is so stupid, that it could very well cause physical reactions in you.

And now... to elevate stupidity to new and terrifying heights...!

http://www.nationalr...hers-katherine-timpf

Quote
Professor: If You Read To Your Kids, You’re ‘Unfairly Disadvantaging’ Others

Check your privilege, ladies.

May 6, 2015 3:24 PM

Bedtime-story privilege?

According to a professor at the University of Warwick in England, parents who read to their kids should be thinking about how they’re “unfairly disadvantaging other people’s children” by doing so.

In an interview with ABC Radio last week, philosopher and professor Adam Swift said that since “bedtime stories activities . . . do indeed foster and produce . . . [desired] familial relationship goods,” he wouldn’t want to ban them, but that parents who “engage in bedtime-stories activities” should definitely at least feel kinda bad about it sometimes:

“I don’t think parents reading their children bedtime stories should constantly have in their minds the way that they are unfairly disadvantaging other people’s children, but I think they should have that thought occasionally,” he said.

But Swift also added that some other things parents do to give their kids the best education possible — like sending them to “an elite private school” — “cannot be justified” in this way.

“Private schooling cannot be justified by appeal to these familial relationship goods,” he said.

”It’s just not the case that in order for a family to realize these intimate, loving, authoritative, affectionate, love-based relationships you need to be able to send your child to an elite private school,” he continued, adding that “we could prevent elite private schooling without any real hit to elite family relationships.”

At one point, Swift even flirted with the idea of “simply abolishing the family” as a way of “solving the social justice problem” because “there would be a more level playing field” if we did, but ultimately concluded that “it is in the child’s interest to be parented” and that “parenting a child makes for what we call a distinctive and special contribution to the flourishing and well-being of adults.”

In general, I tend to believe that focusing on improving things for the less fortunate is a better way to advance our society than purposely making things worse for those who have more, but what do I know? After all, it’s not like I’m a philosopher or anything.

— Katherine Timpf is a reporter for National Review Online. 


Link from article: http://www.abc.net.a...amily-values/6437058

Just. Wow. The SJWs are generally completely batshit crazy, but this... just wow... Swift sure ain't too swift. :P


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Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4478 on: May 07, 2015, 09:01:03 AM »
@Renegade: Well, some people (not me, you understand) might say that this is simply batsh#t crazy, but I couldn't possibly comment.

My mother always reckoned that people who were slightly mad or ill-suited to, and unable to function happily and properly in open society, but who were nevertheless well-intentioned and posed no real threat to society, were generally best kept in safe places where they could live without harm from the rest of society and maybe fulfil some useful purpose. She said that in the old days, it was unfortunately the lunatic asylum and the poor-houses where they tended to end up, but society had adapted and made the most of these peoples' limited abilities to cope with and/or contribute to society - examples being nuns in convents, monks in monasteries, and academics in ivory towers, most of whom perform often valuable services to their community/society.

In New Zealand, they have broken from a somewhat disgraceful historical tendency to throw anybody "different" into a lunatic asylum, where the inhabitants were then variously abused, tortured and experimented upon, and who then became thoroughly institutionalised and completely unable to cope in the outside world. The break came when the IHC organisation (which grew from the Society for Intellectually Handicapped Children), hit on the idea of putting these intellectually handicapped/retarded or just slightly mad people out to live in houses scattered throughout towns, which the IHC had bought for that purpose. There was an uproar and formalised protest aplenty from people who would fearfully exclaim, "I don't want no crazy people living next door to me and my family!", but it quietened down when nothing bad seemed to come of it.
My house happened to be next door to one of the first IHC houses to be used in this grand experiment. I used to chat to the inhabitants over the garden fence, and I recall one in particular - a woman who was stuck at the mental age of 11 or so. She would stick her head out of her upstairs bedroom window, which overlooked our garden, wanting to chat to anyone in our family who went out into the garden. Apart from being a bit of a persistent nuisance, she was no problem at all - just a child. She died from a broken neck in a fall downstairs - pushed accidentally, I think, whilst playing with some of the inmates of the house. We all rather missed her.

Arizona Hot

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4479 on: May 07, 2015, 10:16:06 AM »
109 Spoiler Alert.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

109 Spoiler Alert - explain xkcd



Arizona Hot

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4480 on: May 07, 2015, 05:36:12 PM »
Android M – The Newest Mobile OS from Google Makes Waves.jpg

Android M is coming here's what you need to know

Quote
As for the Android M name, the most recent speculation suggests it will be Android Muffin, but other contenders are: Milky Bar, Milky Way, Marshmallow, M&Ms, Mud Cake, and Mars. We're tipping Android Marshmallow right now because it strikes us as a more dreamy, colorful, Candy Land-style name in-keeping with the Jelly Bean/Lollipop trend.
The sweet evolution of Android: from Cupcake to Lollipop

IMO I think Google won't choose any of these in order to be different. But give us your thoughts about what Google will avoid.

Run  Android™ Apps in Windows® with AMIDuOS.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Run Android on Windows

Has anyone here tried this program? Would you prefer running Android apps in Windows or Windows apps in Android?

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4481 on: May 07, 2015, 11:54:32 PM »
If you know who Peter Schiff and Ben Bernanke are, this is HILARIOUS!  ;D

http://schiffgold.co...your-biggest-critic/

Quote
Peter Schiff spoke briefly with Ben Bernanke at the SkyBridge Alternatives (SALT) Conference yesterday. Approaching the former Federal Reserve Chairman, Peter warned, “In full disclosure, I’m your biggest critic.” Bernanke didn’t miss a beat: “You have a lot of competition.”

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Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker


TaoPhoenix

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4483 on: May 08, 2015, 07:32:40 PM »
...
10 Things Banned in Other Countries, but Legal in the U.S.[/url]

I luv the phrase "up to" in law language.

"1. BABY WALKERS
Babies in Canada have to learn to walk the old-fashioned way. The country banned once-popular baby walkers in 2004, after they were found to endanger babies and delay motor and mental development. Possession or selling of a baby walker can result in fines of ..."

So far so good. I can see a $1000 fine as a nice "this is a law we meant, so wake up!"

But then we get ...

"... fines of up to $100,000 or six months in jail."

What causes *that*?! National Conspiracy to sabotage baby growth to fudge childhood development because you bet on futures of outsourcing companies or something?!

 :tellme:

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4484 on: May 09, 2015, 03:15:34 AM »
The Law of Unintended Consequences strikes again...
(Rather tongue-in-cheek article below, copied sans embedded hyperlinks/images.)
Quote
Keurig CEO Blames Coffee Pod DRM For Falling Sales | TechCrunch
In what amounts to a win for the anti-DRM crowd, Keurig CEO Brian Kelley said the 23% drop in sales came from his move to prevent coffee lovers from using unofficial K-Cups in its 2.0 machines. After the company’s patent on the K-Cup expired, the company added a lock to its new machines to prevent the use of refillable cups and cups from outside manufacturers. Users also filed a lawsuit after the company introduced the new cups.

The share price also dropped 25% since the beginning of 2015.

The new 2.0 machines required a specially coded coffee pod, thereby locking competitors out of the coffee pod game. One pod maker, the Rogers Family Company, fought back by offering a free plastic clip that simply convinced the machine that it was perpetually using the correct pods.

Although the way forward for 2.0 users isn’t yet clear, the company is reintroducing the My K-Cup device which allows users to put their own coffee into a reusable pod. “Quite honestly, we were wrong. We underestimated the passion the consumer had for this,” said Kelley in an analyst call regarding the cup. They are also hard at work at a presumably non-DRMed cold brewing solution.

Stoic Joker

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4485 on: May 09, 2015, 07:06:13 AM »
^And the black eye award goes to the corporate masters ... Now that's the best news I've heard all week!

Power to the People! :Thmbsup: :D

app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4486 on: May 10, 2015, 04:04:57 AM »
How could you be in the coffee/coffee maker business and NOT know that people are very fussy and quite passionate about their coffee, and that they will not be stopped from having what they perceive as the "perfect cup of coffee", and that you can not profit by trying to put a stop to that?

wraith808

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4487 on: May 10, 2015, 09:51:15 AM »
How could you be in the coffee/coffee maker business and NOT know that people are very fussy and quite passionate about their coffee, and that they will not be stopped from having what they perceive as the "perfect cup of coffee", and that you can not profit by trying to put a stop to that?

Money.  It blinds the eye, and this is just another example of that.

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4488 on: May 10, 2015, 10:34:06 AM »
...Money.  It blinds the eye, and this is just another example of that.

Well, it's an inability to see all right, but an inability to see reason, and the cause is arguably attributable to just not thinking things through - a human trait that we may all share until we've learned to do otherwise. A backlash would otherwise have been a pretty predictable likely/potential outcome, and thus it would seem unsurprising that that (amongst other things) is what happened. It was unwittingly self-inflicted harm.
Any CEO who approved taking steps like that without considering the potential marketing consequences (which is apparently what happened) would arguably need to have rocks in his head. I think that's what is cynically referred to as a "career-defining moment", or something.

bit

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4489 on: May 12, 2015, 01:23:07 AM »
(moved to Cute jokes thread)
« Last Edit: May 17, 2015, 03:51:23 PM by bit »

TaoPhoenix

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4490 on: May 12, 2015, 02:21:57 AM »
...Money.  It blinds the eye, and this is just another example of that.

Well, it's an inability to see all right, but an inability to see reason, and the cause is arguably attributable to just not thinking things through - a human trait that we may all share until we've learned to do otherwise. A backlash would otherwise have been a pretty predictable likely/potential outcome, and thus it would seem unsurprising that that (amongst other things) is what happened. It was unwittingly self-inflicted harm.
Any CEO who approved taking steps like that without considering the potential marketing consequences (which is apparently what happened) would arguably need to have rocks in his head. I think that's what is cynically referred to as a "career-defining moment", or something.

Something bothers me about this evaluation, so I think I disagree with it. Maybe a little of it is semantics, but here goes. In a different order than the paragraph:

"...without considering the potential marketing consequences..."

I am quite sure the consequences were "considered". I am also quite sure they knew there would be a backlash. I am quite sure no CEO would think "Hey, we can lock it down and our customers will luv us! Yay!"

Instead, a theme I see slowly grinding across lots of otherwise seemingly unrelated news is that there is a profoundly broad and "Jungian-ly Conscious urge" (to struggle to coin a phrase!) to force the entire economy supply-demand curve towards power on the supply side. To the extent they do this, the broad "bullying powers" of barriers to entry and "talk to the first level reps" leave consumers helpless.

So instead of "not considering" the effects, instead I propose they *were* considered, as something like a balancing equation: The long term deep boosts of profits with greater supply side control, vs the localized and short term "tactical risks" of backlashes and local losses of profits.

The CEOs have pretty thick skins - so they're quite used to the fact the media loves the "local tactical backlashes". So meanwhile the C-level team just gauges the risks and they just laugh at things like "backlashes". Even if they get one specific equation wrong, their multi - level parent corps or friends have the money, it's not like a 4 man company that's gonna tank if their only flagship product tanks.

The rise of viral activism is putting a little more power into the hands of consumers, making these calculation much weirder than they used to be fifteen years ago.

The last side of "not considered" is something to the lines of "Come on, the 22 regular members of DC can't be that much smarter than professional managers in these companies". If proposed policy floated around, I'm sure any company would have a random guy who would raise our objections.

Instead, I think there's a bit of a power-lust in the urge to do all this supply-side control, and arrogance, that can over-ride "consideration".




Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4491 on: May 12, 2015, 07:36:26 PM »
The subtle art of not giving a f*ck:

http://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck

A good laugh/read there. Click or don't. I don't give a f*ck either way. 8)

Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Arizona Hot

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Giampy

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4493 on: May 14, 2015, 12:39:09 PM »
This episode happens at Hawaii.

A Jewish merchant tries to sell twine. He deals with a guy and starts to convince him to buy the twine. After many minutes the guy gets peeved because of such insistence, so he decides to get rid of the merchant and says ironically: "OK, I will buy your twine. I will buy as much twine as the distance between your nose and the top of your pee-pee".

After some days the guy sees a long line of trucks coming to him. They are full of twine.
The guy, amazed: "What is that stuff???"
Jewish merchant: "It's what you ordered"
The guy screams: "I didn't order that!!! Damn!!! BUT WHO ARE YOU???"
"Who am I?" the merchant answers, "My name is Benjamin Sharon, I live here now,

Spoiler
but I was circumcised at Warsaw..."

"A refrigerator without beer is like a body without soul"

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4494 on: May 19, 2015, 01:11:02 PM »
^^ Similar joke to the "twine" one:

Military redundancy payment.
The US military were notified that their budget was being cut, so the President decided to retire his top three generals and give them a going away bonus for their service.

The first general was called in to the Oval Office, where the President told him he was to receive a pension and an unusual bonus. He was told that he could pick any two parts of his body and they would measure the distance between the two points. For every inch measured he would receive $10,000.  The general picked from the top of his head to his toes and got a bonus of $720,000.

The second general was then called in and told the same news.  He picked from the tip of his outstretched hands to the tip of his toes and was rewarded with a bonus of $1,000,000.  Whilst this was going on the first general was in the outer office, telling the third general waiting there all about the bonus system, so he was well prepared when his turn came.

He was ushered into the Oval Office, and after the President had told him what the bonus was to be based on, he told the President that he wanted to be measured from the tip of his penis to his balls. The President looked at him, decided not to make any comment, and said, "Well, OK, but if that's what you want it will have to be measured by a Medical Officer."

An MO was called, and when he arrived, the President explained what was required of him.  The general dropped his trousers and underpants, and the MO bent down in front of the general with a tape measure, placing the beginning of the tape at the tip of the General's penis.

A moment later the MO exclaimed, "My God!  Where are your balls?"

"In Vietnam", replied the General.

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4495 on: May 19, 2015, 01:20:50 PM »
I always liked the "King Arthur" tales and especially "The Sword in the Stone".
Despite all the jokes in the "King Arthur" category that one can come across, I had never considered this take on it: http://xkcd.com/1521/
It's very droll - on a par with:

Dilbert - Higgs-Boson.jpg

Arizona Hot

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wraith808

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4497 on: May 20, 2015, 04:39:44 PM »
^ I know I'm not chancing it.  Not sure if it should be left linked if there is a warning...

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4498 on: May 20, 2015, 08:32:51 PM »
^ I know I'm not chancing it.  Not sure if it should be left linked if there is a warning...

I'm not clicking either. But in all fairness, I've seen those warnings on perfectly safe pages in the past.
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Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #4499 on: May 20, 2015, 08:34:26 PM »
Got a real smartass here...

scooter parking.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Therefore...



8)

Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker