I think this is really humorous, even if I don't know if anyone else will.
Re: 'Prove you're a human by recognizing almost illegible words & numbers'.
I thought of a better way; prove it by being taken to any website overloaded with animated ads, and manually shut off at least X-number of them.
This is founded on the idea that ad-writers go to extreme lengths to design ads which automated ad-blockers cannot shut off automatically.
Thus if you can shut them off--you must be human!