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Last post Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]  (Read 1434275 times)

Target

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wraith808

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2351 on: November 08, 2013, 03:32:14 PM »

Stoic Joker

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2352 on: November 08, 2013, 05:28:50 PM »

app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2353 on: November 09, 2013, 02:20:39 PM »
1391513_10151821110778167_1801136856_n[1].jpg

It would be funnier if it said "Rand Paul".

app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2354 on: November 09, 2013, 07:45:10 PM »
The right way to make French fries.

french fries.gif

Giampy

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2355 on: November 10, 2013, 11:21:33 AM »
Ignoranza e indifferenza.jpg
"A refrigerator without beer is like a body without soul"

4wd

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2356 on: November 11, 2013, 12:11:31 AM »
From GEOsoft's AutoIt site:


A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a young leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard.

So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story..
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bull**** and brilliance only come with age and experience!


Giampy

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2357 on: November 11, 2013, 09:27:06 AM »
Guidatrice.jpg
"A refrigerator without beer is like a body without soul"

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2358 on: November 12, 2013, 04:18:52 PM »

app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2359 on: November 14, 2013, 10:20:19 AM »
This is an actual problem from a physics textbook.

This is an actual problem from a physics textbook.png

TaoPhoenix

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2360 on: November 14, 2013, 10:58:09 AM »
That's Epic App! When was the date of that book!? 1977, before "political correctness"?

Sidebar:
I never learned calculus. I'm a Squares and Grids guy. Curvy-Anything ruins me. But I did have a bit of fondness for Days Past when I had an old 1950's calculus book, before the era of huge white space and color diagrams. I still only learned like three of the huge number of (shorter) chapters, but it just had a strange appeal, back maybe when education was education, and not a Graphics Design contest!

Earl D. Rainville, circa 1957ish.
And the language was subtly different. Hard to describe, but just the phrasing... I even worked through the first twenty pages. My stuff should be out of storage in the next couple of weeks. And there's a 1-in-3 chance I kept it for Old Memories sake. But I'll never learn calculus. Just not my thing. Skies know I have plenty else to do.

But just sayin' ... the days when they could put comments like that in textbooks, before they were marketing-spinned to death!

« Last Edit: November 14, 2013, 11:05:34 AM by TaoPhoenix »

Stoic Joker

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2361 on: November 14, 2013, 11:27:43 AM »
But just sayin' ... the days when they could put comments like that in textbooks, before they were marketing-spinned to death!

Well, I guess that is an indication of how out-of-touch I am with the "Modern World" ... Because I see nothing wrong with the comment what so ever. Then again, I also do not consider political science to be a real science either.

TaoPhoenix

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2362 on: November 14, 2013, 11:38:01 AM »
Well, I guess that is an indication of how out-of-touch I am with the "Modern World" ... Because I see nothing wrong with the comment what so ever. Then again, I also do not consider political science to be a real science either.

Heh. Well you "are out of touch". Because "I see words in that math problem that make value judgements and we can't ever have anything beyond pure facts and graphics-major's diagrams in our books now!!"

 :tellme:   8)

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2363 on: November 14, 2013, 02:25:52 PM »
But just sayin' ... the days when they could put comments like that in textbooks, before they were marketing-spinned to death!
____________________
Well, I guess that is an indication of how out-of-touch I am with the "Modern World" ... Because I see nothing wrong with the comment what so ever. Then again, I also do not consider political science to be a real science either.
____________________
I recall that in my co-ed grammar school in the UK, they used to have "extra-curricular" studies for the children to take/choose, except there was little choice and it boiled down to mandatory gender-based assumption - the boys took "woodwork" and the girls took "domestic science" (cooking).
Being a budding and very keen scientist and astronomer at the time, I was confuzzled and never could understand where the word "science" actually came into the equation and wondered whether they should call the other thing "woodworking science".

By that age, one of my constant companions was my Pocket Oxford Dictionary, which would've had something similar to this:
Quote
(Source: 10th ed. of the Concise Oxford Dictionary.)
science
· n.
1 the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment.
2 a systematically organized body of knowledge on any subject.
3 archaic knowledge.
– ORIGIN ME: from OFr., from L. scientia, from scire ‘know’.
_______________________

Here's a joke about physics, which is one of the exact sciences:
Quote
Green bananas.

This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed.

At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as its Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well," says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"

"Yes." answers the executioner.

"Can I have that green banana?" the man asks.

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits until he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks.

"I suppose so." says the executioner, "That's never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again, and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so he rigs the chair up to the electricity grid for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the chair.

"What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.

"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man.

The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up the chair to the entire American national grid, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish?" asks the executioner.

"Well," says the man, "can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?"

The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up." says the executioner, "I don't understand. How can you still be alive after all that?" and he strokes his chin thoughtfully, adding, "It's something to do with eating those green bananas isn't it?" he asks.

"Nah." says the bloke, "I'm just a really bad conductor."

app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2364 on: November 14, 2013, 03:16:34 PM »
I recall that in my co-ed grammar school in the UK, they used to have "extra-curricular" studies for the children to take/choose, except there was little choice and it boiled down to mandatory gender-based assumption - the boys took "woodwork" and the girls took "domestic science" (cooking).
Being a budding and very keen scientist and astronomer at the time, I was confuzzled and never could understand where the word "science" actually came into the equation and wondered whether they should call the other thing "woodworking science".

Start altering cookie and cake recipes and you'll instantly know where the science part of it is. I like to call it "kitchen chemistry".  ;)

And I did refer to a friend's unsuccessful attempt to alter a chocolate chip cookie recipe by replacing the sugar with honey (which resulted in something resembling pancakes, which I accurately predicted would happen) as her failed science experiment.  ;D

tomos

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2365 on: November 14, 2013, 04:00:39 PM »
Quote
Green bananas.
[...]
"Nah." says the bloke, "I'm just a really bad conductor."

 ;D ;D ;D

Tom

Stoic Joker

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2366 on: November 14, 2013, 06:38:15 PM »
Quote
Green bananas.
[...]
"Nah." says the bloke, "I'm just a really bad conductor."

 ;D ;D ;D

I'll 2nd that:  ;D ;D ;D

app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2367 on: November 14, 2013, 08:52:37 PM »
Do you think this company has a hiring policy?

http://archive.is/KDtBJ

TaoPhoenix

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2368 on: November 14, 2013, 10:52:18 PM »
Do you think this company has a hiring policy?

http://archive.is/KDtBJ

Haha! To put it in words, Hire White-ish women, up to the Glass Ceiling, then hire White Men at the top?

:tellme:   8)

Deozaan

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2369 on: November 15, 2013, 03:56:57 AM »
"political science is not a real science."
That's Epic App! When was the date of that book!? 1977, before "political correctness"?

Likewise, political correctness is not real correctness. 8)

« Last Edit: November 15, 2013, 06:25:35 PM by Deozaan »

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2370 on: November 15, 2013, 04:44:30 AM »
Do you think this company has a hiring policy?

http://archive.is/KDtBJ
Haha! To put it in words, Hire White-ish women, up to the Glass Ceiling, then hire White Men at the top?
:tellme:   8)
____________________
The mind boggles.
Look at what they have on that page now though:
Quote
Meet the Staff
14 Nov 2013

You may have noticed that we no longer have a ”meet the staff” page. Following a rise in visits to our website and mentions of the company through certain media channels in relation to our recruitment policy, we have chosen to remove it from the website indefinitely.

We took this decision in consultation with our staff who are rightly concerned about being posted around the internet by people making inaccurate and inappropriate comments about our staff and our recruitment policies. The “meet the staff” page was designed for our clients to put a face to the name of the people they deal with here and now that page has been taken out of context we feel it is no longer appropriate.

We are an equal opportunities employer and will remain so. We are proud of our team and remain committed to their individual development.
________________________

"Meet the bimbos and the MCPs"?

wraith808

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2371 on: November 15, 2013, 10:22:43 AM »
That's Epic App! When was the date of that book!? 1977, before "political correctness"?

Likewise, political correctness is not real correctness. 8)

This.  The only basic concept you need to get about PC is this.

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2372 on: November 16, 2013, 03:13:35 AM »
Jean-Claude Van Dammmmmnnnn

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2373 on: November 17, 2013, 07:03:43 AM »
Per The Irish Independent:
Quote
Syria al-Qa'ida rebels apologise for beheading the wrong man.
Mohammed Fares, left, who was mistakenly decapitated by Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham militants.
Spoiler
Richard Spencer – 15 November 2013

Militant Islamist rebels in Syria linked to al-Qa'ida have asked for "understanding and forgiveness" for cutting off and putting on display the wrong man's head.
Also in this section
Netanyahu tweets his opposition to potential nuclear deal with Iran
Albania will not host destruction of Syrian chemical weapons
Christianity may become extinct in its place of birth

In a public appearance filmed and posted online, members of Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS), one brandishing a knife, held up a bearded head before a crowd in Aleppo.

They triumphantly described the execution of what they said was a member of an Iraqi Shia militia fighting for President Bashar al-Assad.

But the head was recognised from the video as originally belonging to a member of Ahrar al-Sham, a Sunni Islamist rebel group that often fights alongside ISIS, though it does not share its al-Qa'ida ideology.

After inquiries, an ISIS spokesman admitted he was Mohammed Fares, an Ahrar commander reported missing some days ago.

The Syrian Observatory of Human Rights, which monitors deaths in the Syrian conflict, and several activists on social media said that ISIS fighters misunderstood comments Mr Fares made referring to the Imams Ali and Hussein, the founding fathers of Shiism.

An ISIS spokesman, Omar al-Qahtani, confirmed Mr Fares had been injured and, thinking he had been captured by members of a Shia militia against which he was fighting, asked them to kill him in terms misunderstood by the ISIS members in fact taking him to hospital.

In explaining the error, Mr al-Qahtani made reference to a story in which Mohammed said Allah would forgive a man who killed a believer in error.

The mistake, of a sort commonly cited as an argument against the death penalty around the world, is indicative of the chaos within rebel ranks, particularly since the rise of ISIS over the summer.

Its ferocity has given rise to an exodus of moderate and secular activists, and brought to an end an uneasy truce between the Free Syrian Army and Kurdish militias, the most prominent of which has in the last month taken on ISIS and driven them out of a number of towns in the north-east.

Meanwhile, Mr Assad's forces have used the internal rifts in their enemies' ranks to make progress on a drive south-east of Aleppo.

This week, a group of Islamist rebels put out an appeal for a mass mobilisation against the advance, while there are repeated rumours that major Islamist militias which do not support al-Qa'ida are about to declare a common front. (© Daily Telegraph, London)

Irish Independent


Was this a wrongheaded act?     :tellme:

Giampy

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2374 on: November 17, 2013, 08:13:05 AM »

Einstein 1 - funny-pictures-26.jpg
"A refrigerator without beer is like a body without soul"