Home | Blog | Software | Reviews and Features | Forum | Help | Donate | About us
topbanner_forum
  *

avatar image

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
  • December 08, 2016, 02:09:32 PM
  • Proudly celebrating 10 years online.
  • Donate now to become a lifetime supporting member of the site and get a non-expiring license key for all of our programs.
  • donate

Last post Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]  (Read 1435518 times)

TaoPhoenix

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2011
  • **
  • Posts: 4,550
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1500 on: April 18, 2013, 10:49:19 PM »
Not exactly funny, but fun.
http://www.taghua.com/

Makes a kind of tree pattern and it matters where your mouse is.


tomos

  • Charter Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • ***
  • Posts: 10,331
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1501 on: April 19, 2013, 04:05:14 AM »
*EDIT*[/color] Actually, this one is better:
http://www.molleindu...daythesamedream.html

pretty dark though...
Tom

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 6,141
  • Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member

TaoPhoenix

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2011
  • **
  • Posts: 4,550
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1503 on: April 19, 2013, 08:03:42 AM »
http://www.theuselessweb.com
Oh dear. I'm hooked...

Yep. So am I.

So let's post our favorite ones from that Useless Web site!

Plus there has to be avatar gold in one of those pages.

http://www.movenowthinklater.com/
This is some kind of automated super-checkers program.

http://www.haneke.net/
"The Blue Ball Machine"

Animation stuff:
http://iloveyoulikea...ladylovesapples.com/

Why Social Media can be a Bad Thing:
http://www.pointerpointer.com/

Song goodness:

Irish (?)
http://chickenonaraft.com/

Genre Unknown:
http://www.riddlydiddly.com/

http://www.ooooiiii.com/
http://www.dabadabadab.com/
http://www.iiiiiiii.com/






« Last Edit: April 19, 2013, 08:19:02 AM by TaoPhoenix »

TaoPhoenix

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2011
  • **
  • Posts: 4,550
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1504 on: April 19, 2013, 08:04:38 AM »
*EDIT*[/color] Actually, this one is better:
http://www.molleindu...daythesamedream.html

pretty dark though...

Heh but just what I need - a little gallows humor! It has the feel of an old C64 game Rags to Riches, but this one stops at more of the quickie concept.

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 6,141
  • Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1505 on: April 19, 2013, 08:18:24 AM »
Bush and Cheney in the restaurant.
Dick Cheney and George W.  Bush were having breakfast at the White House.

An attractive waitress was on duty and she asked Cheney what he would like, and he replied, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit.".

"And what can I get for you, Mr.  President?", asked the waitress.

George W.  Looked up from his menu, gave her his trademark wink and slight grin and replied, "How about a quickie this morning?"

The waitress was shocked.
"Why, Mr.  President!" she exclaimed, "How rude!  You're acting like President Clinton!", and she stormed off.

George W. looked puzzled at this, and then Cheney leaned across the table and said in a quiet voice, "It's pronounced 'quiche' ".
______________________________________

Those missing votes.
When Obama was moving into the White House, he discovered a screwed-up piece of paper in one of his desk drawers. He carefully uncrumpled it and read it:

To: Al Gore
From: George Bush
Al, we've found more votes.  You won.
When can you start?
______________________________________

George The Would-be King Bush.
When George Bush met The Queen, he said in a conspiratorial tone of voice, "You know, as I'm now the President of the United States, I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom."

The Queen replied "I'm sorry Mr Bush, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge, and you're not a King."

Bush thought a while and then said "How about a Principality then?"

To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince - and You're not a Prince, Mr Bush."

Bush thought long and hard and came up with "Well, how about an Empire then?"

The Queen, getting a little annoyed by now, replied "Sorry again, Mr Bush, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and you are not an Emperor."

Before George Bush could utter another word, the Queen said tartly "I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country."
______________________________________

Bush and the Israeli Mossad.
After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama bin Laden is still alive.", Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting - to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message: 370H-SSV-0773H.
Bush was baffled, so he emailed it to Condoleezza Rice.  Condi and her aides hadn't got a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, and then to MI6.

Eventually they emailed it to the Mossad (Israeli intelligence) for help, and within a minute the Mossad emailed the White House with the reply: "Tell the President he's holding the note upside down."
______________________________________

In the barber's shop.
George Bush and Clinton somehow ended up at the same barber's shop.  As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their haircuts, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the after shave, but Clinton was quick to stop him, saying " No thanks.  Hillary will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse!"

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you, Sir?"

Bush replied "Go ahead. Laura doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like anyway."
______________________________________
« Last Edit: April 19, 2013, 10:08:49 AM by IainB »

kyrathaba

  • N.A.N.Y. Organizer
  • Honorary Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • **
  • Posts: 3,120
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1506 on: April 19, 2013, 08:31:13 AM »
LOL! Iaian, you're a treasure-house!

tomos

  • Charter Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • ***
  • Posts: 10,331
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1507 on: April 19, 2013, 08:49:00 AM »
LOL! Iain, you're a treasure-house!

plus one there -
I couldnt stop laughing at the "George The Would-be King Bush" one :D
Tom

TaoPhoenix

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2011
  • **
  • Posts: 4,550
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1508 on: April 19, 2013, 11:31:11 AM »
LOL! Iain, you're a treasure-house!

plus one there -
I couldnt stop laughing at the "George The Would-be King Bush" one :D


I think I like the code one best, because it nails other people than just Bush to the humor tree. Plus it sounds like the kind of awesome thing that could be a great party joke etc.

Arizona Hot

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2007
  • **
  • Posts: 1,796
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1509 on: April 19, 2013, 11:46:59 AM »
Here's 2 NASA Big Blue Marble animated GIFs for Stephanie and other such collectors.

12 Months of our World.gif

BlueMarble monthlies animation.gif

tomos

  • Charter Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • ***
  • Posts: 10,331
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1510 on: April 19, 2013, 11:47:57 AM »
LOL! Iain, you're a treasure-house!

plus one there -
I couldnt stop laughing at the "George The Would-be King Bush" one :D

I think I like the code one best, because it nails other people than just Bush to the humor tree. Plus it sounds like the kind of awesome thing that could be a great party joke etc.

I'm not sure if I fully understood the intention of the last one, but I really enjoyed it too.
Is the punchline delivered completely innocently? (in which case we're also laughing at George's simplicity) -
or is it a fully barbed dig at [at least one] Clinton?

Either way, Clinton seems to come out "the worser" at the end of it.
Tom

TaoPhoenix

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2011
  • **
  • Posts: 4,550
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1511 on: April 19, 2013, 12:15:07 PM »
I'm not sure if I fully understood the intention of the last one, but I really enjoyed it too.
Is the punchline delivered completely innocently? (in which case we're also laughing at George's simplicity) -
or is it a fully barbed dig at [at least one] Clinton?

Either way, Clinton seems to come out "the worser" at the end of it.

It's a beautiful joke because if you fiddle with the "code" straight on you'll lose. But it's a double-switch for when you turn it upside down you get "Hello Ass Hole". 
 ;D

app103

  • That scary taskbar girl
  • Global Moderator
  • Joined in 2006
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,666
    • View Profile
    • App's Apps
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1512 on: April 19, 2013, 01:00:44 PM »
I'm not sure if I fully understood the intention of the last one, but I really enjoyed it too.
Is the punchline delivered completely innocently? (in which case we're also laughing at George's simplicity) -
or is it a fully barbed dig at [at least one] Clinton?

The punch line is George calling Hillary a whore and saying Laura isn't.

app103

  • That scary taskbar girl
  • Global Moderator
  • Joined in 2006
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,666
    • View Profile
    • App's Apps
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1513 on: April 19, 2013, 01:51:21 PM »
At last! A cat dressed as a shark riding a Roomba chasing a duck!  :D

94NyBqhS1W.gif

kyrathaba

  • N.A.N.Y. Organizer
  • Honorary Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • **
  • Posts: 3,120
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1514 on: April 19, 2013, 02:13:49 PM »
Quote
At last! A cat dressed as a shark riding a Roomba chasing a duck! 

Thank you!!! I can finally stop my search...

Stephen66515

  • Animated Giffer in Chief
  • Honorary Member
  • Joined in 2010
  • **
  • Posts: 3,130
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1515 on: April 19, 2013, 02:39:34 PM »
April wins 3 internets.  This thread will be locked now that we have found a winner.  Thank you all for playing!

app103

  • That scary taskbar girl
  • Global Moderator
  • Joined in 2006
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,666
    • View Profile
    • App's Apps
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1516 on: April 19, 2013, 02:43:01 PM »
April wins 3 internets.  This thread will be locked now that we have found a winner.  Thank you all for playing!



btw, that dog was one of my contributions, too!


IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 6,141
  • Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1517 on: April 19, 2013, 09:03:49 PM »
I always liked these IT Lyrics to the Beatles' songs. (I can especially resonate with "Something".)

Yesterday
Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone
And I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
Yesterday.
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.
____________________________

Eleanor Rigby
Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
Guru MacKenzie
Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;
Isn't it fun?
Look at him working,
Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile;
It takes a while...

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
Eleanor Rigby
Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work;
Feels like a jerk.
Guru MacKenzie
Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code;
Nothing will load.

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
____________________________

Unix Man (Nowhere Man)
He's a real UNIX Man
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX plans
For nobody.

Knows the blocksize from du(1)
Cares not where /dev/null goes to
Isn't he a bit like you
And me?

UNIX Man, please listen(2)
My lpd(8 ) is missin'
UNIX Man
The wo-o-o-orld is at(1) your command.

He's as wise as he can be
Uses lex and yacc and C
UNIX Man, can you help me At all?

UNIX Man, don't worry
Test with time(1), don't hurry
UNIX Man
The new kernel boots, just like you had planned.

He's a real UNIX Man
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX  plans For nobody ...
Making all his UNIX  plans For nobody.
____________________________

Write in C ("Let it Be")
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.
____________________________

Something
Something in the way it fails,
Defies the algorithm's logic!
Something in the way it coredumps...
I don't want to leave it now
I'll fix this problem somehow

Somewhere in the memory I know,
A pointer's got to be corrupted.
Stepping in the debugger will show me...
I don't want to leave it now
I'm too close to leave it now

You're asking me can this code go?
I don't know, I don't know...
What sequence causes it to blow?
I don't know, I don't know...

Something in the initializing code?
And all I have to do is think of it!
Something in the listing will show me...
I don't want to leave it now
I'll fix this tonight I vow!

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 6,141
  • Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1518 on: April 19, 2013, 10:53:28 PM »
Zen and contemporary wisdom.

* A closed mouth gathers no foot.
* Accountants aren't the only ones to employ a double-entry principle.
* Always remember you're unique.  Just like everyone else.
* Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
* Buddhist monks don't need Novocaine for a root canal as they can transcend dental medication.
* Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.  Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.  Do not walk beside me either.  Just leave me the heck alone!
* Don't be irreplaceable.  If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
* Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
* Dreaded word in the operating theatre: "Oops.".
* Dreaded words in business "Hi. I'm from Head Office (or the Government) and I'm here to help you.".
* Dreaded words in the computer-room: "Ooh, I wonder what happens if you press this button...".
* Duct tape is like the Force.  It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
* Ego is to your thinking as Hitler was to Germany.
* Generally speaking, you aren't learning much whilst your lips are moving.
* Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
* Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
* If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of loan repayments.
* It's always darkest before dawn.  So, if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
* It's not democracy if it stops when someone makes fun of your hat.
* Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time before going to bed.
* Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
* Never use thinners when painting a church. You'll only have to repaint and thin no more.
* No one is listening until you f#rt.
* Sex is like air.  It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
* Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
* Some of the greatest mistakes made by man were preceded with the words "I think...".
* That's right, you're doing it wrong.
* The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.
* The quickest way to a man's heart is via his stomach, and to his wallet is via the Inland Revenue.
* The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
* Two legs good; four legs bad.
* We are not all equal; a lift smells different to a midget.
* What I am telling you is a lie, believe me, it's the truth.
* You are a jerk if you don't agree with me. I am a jerk if I don't agree with you. Therefore, when we argue, we may both be jerks.
* You know that thing about being descended from apes? It's more common than you'd think.

Arizona Hot

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2007
  • **
  • Posts: 1,796
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1519 on: April 20, 2013, 03:04:45 PM »
Android version names.jpg

Do you think rumors are silly?

Android 5.0 Key Lime Pie Rumor Roundup

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 6,141
  • Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1520 on: April 21, 2013, 07:35:26 AM »
I was just browsing around on a Sun UK news journo's website looking for an update to reports of the arrest of the Aussie comedian, musician and artist, the BBC's Rolf Harris, in the ongoing pedophilia ring investigation (police codename operation "Yew Tree") re the BBC's Jimmy So Vile.
I clicked on a link that led to this YouTube video (below). It's a spoof using a scene from the excellent horror flick, "The Shining", about Ed Balls - nothing to do with operation "Yew Tree" by the way.
I think I can explain it, though having exiled myself from the UK to become a paper Kiwi some years ago, I am rather out of touch with UK politics, and was always rather apolitical anyway. However, I think the context is that Ed Balls is a Labour party member/leader, or something, and the spoof might be suggesting that he might command the votes to become the next elected Prime Minister if the current Conservative-led coalition fails at the next general election (which apparently seems to be on the cards).
It's a very simple and rather clever spoof - and funny. Made me larf anyway. I'd not seen The Shining used for a spoof before.
Ed Balls, The Shining


IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 6,141
  • Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1521 on: April 21, 2013, 07:47:37 AM »
Stunning news report from The Faster Times:
(Copied below sans embedded hyperlinks/images.)
Quote
FBI Hands Over Boston Bombing Investigation to Redditors
In a move that has left millions of Americans stunned and asking for answers, FBI Special Agent Richard DesLauriers announced this morning that the FBI would be handing over the investigation into the Boston bombings to the active members of the Reddit website.

“Let’s face it,” DesLauriers said, “The Redditors are going to spend a hell of a lot more time looking over the clues than we are.” Added DesLauriers, “We should probably just let them take over the whole damn agency.

The FBI said the transfer of the Boston Marthon files to Reddit would begin immediately. President Obama, who once took part in a Reddit “Ask Me Anything” (AMA) chat, said that he supported the decision. “No one spends more time thinking about seemingly insignificant details than Redditors,” Obama said.

Edvard

  • Coding Snacks Author
  • Charter Honorary Member
  • Joined in 2005
  • ***
  • Posts: 2,888
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1522 on: April 21, 2013, 07:13:21 PM »
Genre Unknown:
http://www.riddlydiddly.com/

The song is by the a capella metal band Van Canto; their cover version of "Wishmaster" by Nightwish.



What did I learn to play guitar for when I just needed "riddlydiddly"?
« Last Edit: April 21, 2013, 07:42:45 PM by Edvard »

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 6,141
  • Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1523 on: April 21, 2013, 11:48:57 PM »
Good shot.
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual checkup.  The doctor asked him how he was feeling.

The 80-year-old said, "I've never felt better.  I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.  What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and said, "I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.  One day, when he was going out in a bit of a hurry,  he accidentally picked up his umbrella rather than his gun.  When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water.  He raised his umbrella and went  'Bang! Bang!', and the beaver fell over dead.  What do you think of that?"

The 80-year-old thought about it and said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "Yes, my point exactly."

Tinman57

  • Charter Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • ***
  • Posts: 1,702
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1524 on: April 22, 2013, 08:56:53 PM »
What did I learn to play guitar for when I just needed "riddlydiddly"?

  That was a whole bunch of DIDDLY's!  I think that's the most diddly's that I've ever heard in that short of time.   :P