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Last post Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]  (Read 1433213 times)

mouser

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1475 on: April 16, 2013, 06:51:08 PM »
 ;D

Stephen66515

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1476 on: April 16, 2013, 06:55:04 PM »
 :eusa_dance:

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1477 on: April 16, 2013, 08:44:32 PM »
How the White House became a confusing place to work:

When Barack Obama met with Queen Elizabeth II, the Queen of England , he asked her…
"Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," said the Queen,  "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of champagne. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle - watch."
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom.
"Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walked into the room and said, Yes, your Majesty?"
The Queen smiled and said,"Answer me this please Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered…"That would be me."
"Yes! Very good." said the Queen.

Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden the same question.
"Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Biden."Let me get back to you on that one."
He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.
Frustrated, Biden went to work in the congressional gym and saw Paul Ryan there.
Biden went up to him and asked, "Hey Paul, see if you can answer this question."
"Shoot Joe."
“Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Paul Ryan answered,"That's easy, it's me!"
Biden smiled, and said, "Good answer Paul!"
Biden then, went back to speak with President Obama.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Paul Ryan!"

Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face,
"No! You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

kyrathaba

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kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1479 on: April 18, 2013, 07:04:12 AM »
NeilB4Me.png

kyrathaba

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« Last Edit: April 18, 2013, 07:17:43 AM by kyrathaba »


kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1482 on: April 18, 2013, 07:20:18 AM »
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old ..... I'm telling everybody!'


kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1483 on: April 18, 2013, 07:21:52 AM »
@Deozaan: I kept getting "Invalid YouTube link" when trying to embed...  :-[

Deozaan

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1484 on: April 18, 2013, 07:24:24 AM »
@Deozaan: I kept getting "Invalid YouTube link" when trying to embed...  :-[

You can't embed using https. Just get rid of that s and it works.


kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1485 on: April 18, 2013, 07:27:33 AM »
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

'I'm 90 years old,' he says.

'90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?'

'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1486 on: April 18, 2013, 07:28:00 AM »
Quote
You can't embed using https. Just get rid of that s and it works.

@Deozaan: Thanks!

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1487 on: April 18, 2013, 07:28:31 AM »
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile.. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.'
'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1488 on: April 18, 2013, 07:29:10 AM »
A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company.. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet..

'Who are you?' he asked him..

'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.

'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked..

'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.

'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards!'..

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1489 on: April 18, 2013, 07:30:51 AM »
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'..
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on' the wife apologized and went on with the housework..
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied.. 'Your horse phoned'

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1490 on: April 18, 2013, 08:50:07 AM »
Rejected Names For Horses (from a UK TV chat show):

app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1491 on: April 18, 2013, 11:13:23 AM »
Rejected Names For Horses (from a UK TV chat show):

The Science of Naming a Racehorse

Worst Named Horses - These are actual horse names, not ones that were rejected. Most of them are not as funny as the ones in the video, but the list is still good for a chuckle or two. (Date More Minors is on the list)

mouser

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1492 on: April 18, 2013, 01:22:55 PM »
Quote
Wife replied.. 'Your horse phoned'

ha! love it.

40hz

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1493 on: April 18, 2013, 03:38:33 PM »
  bass.jpg

(People in my musical role get no respect. ;D)

app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1494 on: April 18, 2013, 03:52:46 PM »
   (see attachment in previous post)
(People in my musical role get no respect. ;D)

Good thing he offered a whole $1, or he might have ended up out on the street playing this:

triangle.jpg

 :P

Stephen66515

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1495 on: April 18, 2013, 05:19:34 PM »
Not funny, but I like round numbers, and found this nice to see!

210000.png

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1496 on: April 18, 2013, 06:08:01 PM »
That is a lot of views.

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1497 on: April 18, 2013, 06:46:25 PM »
uselessWeb.png

http://www.theuselessweb.com/

A time waster, but funny  :P


Edvard

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1499 on: April 18, 2013, 10:07:18 PM »
http://www.theuselessweb.com/

A time waster, but funny  :P

THAT IS AWESOME!!  

The best one so far:
http://www.fallingfalling.com/
+1 for great creative use of a Shepard Tone  :Thmbsup:

*EDIT* Actually, this one is better:
http://www.molleindu...daythesamedream.html
« Last Edit: April 18, 2013, 11:44:02 PM by Edvard »