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Last post Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]  (Read 1428562 times)


Renegade

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Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

4wd

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1177 on: January 29, 2013, 07:36:29 PM »
You forgot QUIET and QUITE

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1178 on: January 29, 2013, 07:48:51 PM »
You forgot QUIET and QUITE

You forgot your period. :P
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Target

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1179 on: January 29, 2013, 07:53:19 PM »
BWAHAHAHAHAHA~! ;D

Well played~!  :Thmbsup:

whew!!  I wasn't sure if you'd twig to the reference (:Thmbsup:) and I didn't want to get into a blew blue fight

4wd

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1180 on: January 29, 2013, 07:58:33 PM »
 :-[   ;D

PhilB66

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1181 on: January 29, 2013, 07:59:22 PM »

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1182 on: January 29, 2013, 08:02:55 PM »
BWAHAHAHAHAHA~! ;D

Well played~!  :Thmbsup:

whew!!  I wasn't sure if you'd twig to the reference (:Thmbsup:) and I didn't want to get into a blew blue fight

I got a good belly laugh out of that one! It really was well done!  :Thmbsup:
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Tinman57

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1183 on: January 29, 2013, 08:23:08 PM »
For the grammar Nazis:
  Too bad I can't post sound files here, I have a doozie about "Fuck, The Educational".  lol

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1184 on: January 29, 2013, 10:08:08 PM »
For the grammar Nazis:
  Too bad I can't post sound files here, I have a doozie about "Fuck, The Educational".  lol

Just zip it up.
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

f0dder

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1185 on: January 30, 2013, 10:09:20 AM »
Just zip it up.
Spoiler
That's what SHE said. Fucking period.

^--- NSFW.
- carpe noctem

Tinman57

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1186 on: January 30, 2013, 06:55:37 PM »
  An educational broadcast about the "F" word.....



MODERATOR:  See this thread for a long discussion of problems related to playing this file.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2013, 08:11:14 AM by mouser, Reason: added note about split topic on file format issues »

TaoPhoenix

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1187 on: January 30, 2013, 07:40:42 PM »
  An educational broadcast about the "F" word.....
 (see attachment in previous post)

That sounds scarily realistic ... but it can't be a legit broadcast can it?  :o

f0dder

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1188 on: January 31, 2013, 01:22:19 AM »
An educational broadcast about the "F" word.....
Is that what I think it is? (I'm in a train right now, so can't listen to it) - if it is, one word: MARVELLOUS! :Thmbsup:
- carpe noctem

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1189 on: January 31, 2013, 04:26:02 AM »
Spoiler
Oh f#ck.

Perhaps one of the most versatile, interesting and colourful words in the English language today is the word "f#ck".  The "F" word.  It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.  Grammatically, "f#ck" falls into many grammatical categories.  It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John f#cked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was f#cked by John).  It can be an action verb (John really gives a f#ck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a f#ck), an adverb (Mary is f#cking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific f#ck).  It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is f#cking beautiful) or an interjection (F#ck!  I'm late for my date with Mary), and in the interrogative (What the f#ck is Mary doing?).  It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, f#ck, she's also stupid).  As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "f#ck".

Aside from its s#xu#l connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many emotions and situations, for example:

Aggression: "F#ck YOU!"
Apathy: "Who really gives a f#ck, anyhow?"
Confusion: "What the f#ck?"
Denial: "I didn't f#cking do it."
Derision: "He f#cks up everything."
Despair: "F#cked again!"
Difficulty: "I don't understand this f#cking business!"
Directions: "F#ck off."
Disbelief: "UNF#CKINGBELIEVABLE!", or "How the f#ck did you do that?"
Disgust: "F#ck me."
Displeasure: "What the f#ck is going on here?"
Fraud: "I got f#cked by the car dealer."
Greetings: "How the f#ck are ya?"
Lost: "Where the f#ck are we."
Panic: "Let's get the f#ck out of here."
Perplexity: "I know f#ck all about it."
Pleasure: "I f#cking couldn't be happier."
Resignation: "Oh, f#ck it!"
Retaliation: "Up your f#cking #ss!"
Suspicion: "Who the f#ck are you?"
Trouble: "Oh-oh! I guess I'm f#cked now."

It can be used in an anatomical description - "He's a f#cking #ssh#le."
It can be used to tell time - "It's five f#cking thirty."
It can be used in business - "How did I wind up with this f#cking job?"
It can be maternal - "Motherf#cker."
It can be political - "F#ck Dan Quayle!"

Once it was slang, but now the use of the F word by many notable people at key points in history has vindicated the everyday us of this word.
For example:

"What the f#ck was that?"
   - Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945.

"Look at all those f#cking Indians!"
   - General Custer, 1877.

"Where the f#ck is all this water coming from?"
   - Captain of the Titanic.

"That's not a real f#cking gun."
   - John Lennon.

"Who's gonna f#cking find out?"
   - Richard Nixon.

"Aw c'mon. Who the f#ck is going to find out?"
 - Bill Clinton, 1999.

"Heads are going to f#cking roll."
   - Anne Boleyn.

"Let the f#cking woman drive."
   - Commander of Space Shuttle Challenger.

"What f#cking map?"
   - Mark Thatcher.

"Any f#cking idiot could understand that."
   - Albert Einstein, 1938.

"It does so f#cking look like her!"
   - Picasso, 1926.

"How the f#ck did you work that out?"
   - Pythagoras, 126 BC.

"You want what on the f#cking ceiling?"
   - Michaelangelo, 1566.

"F#ck a d#ck."
   - Walt Disney.

"Why?- Because its f#cking there!"
   - Edmund Hilary.

"I don't suppose its gonna f#cking rain?"
   - Joan of Arc.

"Scattered f#cking showers my arse."
   - Noah, 4314BC.

"I need this parade like I need a f#cking hole in the head."
   - John F. Kennedy, 1963.

"Where the f#ck are we now?"
   - Columbus.

"Where the f#ck are we?"
   - Amelia Earhart, 1937.

"Geez, I didn't think they'd get this f#cking mad!"
 - Sadaam Hussein, 2003.
======================================


PhilB66

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1190 on: January 31, 2013, 05:55:42 AM »
Quote
The mind boggles at the many creative uses of the word. If by any chance you think I've missed any, please fucking let me know.
 
How can anyone be offended when you say "FUCK"?
 
Use it frequently in your daily speech, you will be proud and it will add to your fucking prestige and stature.
 
Why not say "FUCK YOU !" to someone today.


http://justin.justne...f-the-word-fuck.html

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1191 on: January 31, 2013, 06:01:41 AM »
http://justin.justne...f-the-word-fuck.html

Some of the quotes were hilarious!

John F Kennedy   "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head."
Ronald Regan to the Pope   "Yes it does fucking hurt."
Mayor of Hiroshima   "What the fuck was that?"

Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1192 on: January 31, 2013, 06:59:38 AM »
I know Wraith and Tinman will get this joke, but not so sure about many others... If you do get it, it's one of the best! :D

Raking-the-lawn.jpg

 :Thmbsup:

Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

tomos

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1193 on: January 31, 2013, 07:28:52 AM »
^ that'd be this guy I guess ;-)

Spoiler
1136959-rob-halford-617-409.jpg

Tom

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1194 on: January 31, 2013, 08:00:19 AM »
^ that'd be this guy I guess ;-)

 :Thmbsup:

You got it! Definitely a METAL GOD! ;)

BTW - In a lot of main screenshots for my own software, I use Caviar and Meths, which is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard -- literally one of those pieces of music that has brought me to tears. If you really love music, you have a few of those songs that blur your vision. Another amazing piece that they actually covered (a couple very different versions of this one): http://www.youtube.c.../watch?v=mIC7KQPDuDc (Both of those are definitely suitable for those with "softer" tastes.)
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

tomos

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1195 on: January 31, 2013, 08:39:51 AM »
"RAKING THE LAWN
RAKING THE LAWN"

a bit belated but I forgot the ;D ;D
(yes it was a laugh out loud response :up:)
Tom

f0dder

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1196 on: January 31, 2013, 10:59:07 AM »
I know Wraith and Tinman will get this joke, but not so sure about many others... If you do get it, it's one of the best! :D
I tend to yell that whenever I cross the street! \m/
- carpe noctem

fenixproductions

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1197 on: January 31, 2013, 02:09:38 PM »
Quote from: Nietzsche
When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you
I know few other things you shouldn't look into :)

Don't look into the eyes of another man…
eating banana.

Don't look into the eyes of another man…
licking the spoon.

Don't look into the eyes of woman…
cutting the sausage.

Don't look into the eyes of the nun…
buying cucumber.


f0dder

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1198 on: January 31, 2013, 03:04:48 PM »
Don't look into the eyes of another man…
Spoiler
eating banana.

Spoiler
If you're unsure about your sexuality - or he's a member of a biker gang.

8)
- carpe noctem

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1199 on: January 31, 2013, 03:12:40 PM »
Some old some new.
1.  Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2.  One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4.  If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5.  The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6.  I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7.  What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8.  If a deaf boy swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9.  If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him ...  is he still wrong?
10.  If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
11.  Is there another word for synonym?
12.  Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
13.  Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
14.  What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
15.  If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
16.  Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
17.  Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?
18.  If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
19.  Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
20.  Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
21.  If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
22.  Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
23.  How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
24.  Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
25.  What was the best thing before sliced bread?
26.  One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
27.  Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
28.  Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
29.  How is it possible to have a civil war?
31.  If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
32.  If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
33.  If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
34.  Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
35.  Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
36.  Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
37.  Why is the alphabet in that order?  Is it because of that song?
38.  If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?
39.  Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
40.  If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?