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Author Topic: Blog Essay: Why does failure inspire some and demoralize others?  (Read 4846 times)
mouser
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« on: November 25, 2008, 08:24:15 AM »

I love this excerpt from a book on why it's important how you explain "failures" to yourself:

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...Some of the children who put forth lots of effort didn’t make attributions at all. These children didn’t think they were failing. Diener puts it this way: “Failure is information—we label it failure, but it’s more like, ‘This didn’t work, I’m a problem solver, and I’ll try something else.’” During one unforgettable moment, one boy—something of a poster child for the mastery-oriented type—faced his first stumper by pulling up his chair, rubbing his hands together, smacking his lips and announcing, “I love a challenge.”

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Ralf Maximus
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« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2008, 07:37:03 AM »

People who never experience failure are rare, but they exist.  I've met a few.  They are vapid and uninteresting... often the product of "priveledged" upbringing.

Conversely, the most intensely interesting people I've known come from incredibly screwed up childhoods, failure piled atop failure, to ridiculous extremes.  These are the folks you want at your side during the Zombie Apocalypse: cool, unflappable souls during an emergency.

Failure defines us better than our successes.  I revel in failure, but don't dwell on it.  Fix the problem, move on, and learn from the mistakes.  That's the only real way to grow.
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Darwin
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« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2008, 08:33:46 AM »

Thanks for pointing this out to us, mouser. It's a  reminder about how to help our kids deal with failure (I'm a lost cause, but I hate seeing my wonderful six year old getting so frustrated when he's trying to achieve something beyond his abilities and "losing the rag") - remind them that when we fail, we're actually learning and are thus better equipped to face the next challenge.
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housetier
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« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2008, 05:49:33 PM »

I think "challenge" is the key.

If you face a challenge you can overcome it or fail it. So if someone never failed, they either are superhuman or have never faced a challenge.
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mahesh2k
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« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2008, 07:57:42 AM »

Nice link.  smiley  Failure & Success are just two sides of coin, what matters is instinct to get up and fight.  thumbs up
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tomos
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« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2008, 04:14:06 PM »

thanks mouser -
even reading that excerpt has been helpful to me this week thumbs up

just opened the link to read it properly smiley
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Tom
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