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Looking for a few good puns

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Edvard:
I'm talking real groaners to torture my co-workers with. No blonde jokes or the like. I've heard that the "getting" of a pun is a sign of above-average intelligence and since I assume most of you fellows and fellowettes are of that ilk, Puns Ahoy!! May I begin?...

A piece of rope walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender gives him a snide look and says "We don't serve your kind here!" and tosses him out the door. The piece of rope gets up, dusts himself off and walks back in, cheerfully ordering a beer. The bartender again tosses him out with the same remark. This time, the piece of rope gets up, doubles himself into a loop-and-a-half and frizzes out his hair before walking back into the bar and again ordering a beer. The bartender gives him another look of disdain and says "Hey, aren't you the piece of rope I just kicked out of here twice?". "No sir," replies the rope, "I'm afraid not!"

 ;D

Get it?A frayed knot!! LOL!!

rjbull:
I'm talking real groaners to torture my co-workers with. No blonde jokes or the like.
-Edvard (November 15, 2005, 06:14 PM)
--- End quote ---

Question:  Why do cats eat cheese?
Answer:     So they can wait outside mouseholes with bated breath.

Edvard:
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Good One!!!

If I had been in the same office, I would have sustained minor injuries after that one... Here's another:

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.

He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

momonan:
Not exactly a pun, but in the same pitiful category:

A woman comes into a local grocery store and asks the clerk if they sell kiddely beans.

The clerk leans down and says: "You mean kidney beans, don't you?"

The woman answers:  "I said kiddely beans, diddel I?"

Edvard:
Pitiful. Rhymes with "Beautiful"  ;D

Give a man an inch, and he thinks he's a ruler.

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