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Author Topic: Best Programming Jokes  (Read 16358 times)

Edvard

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Best Programming Jokes
« on: May 20, 2008, 11:46:05 AM »
Perhaps you've seen these before...
Quote
A SQL query goes to a restaurant, walks up to 2 tables and says “Can I join you?”

from WeirdDaily

This one sent me off my chair PMSROFLMAO

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
very long pause….
"Java."

Deozaan

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2008, 12:24:46 PM »
PMSROFLMAO

I've never really associated PMS with that much laughter before. . .  ;)
« Last Edit: May 20, 2008, 01:23:29 PM by Deozaan »

Edvard

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2008, 12:35:37 PM »
Sorry. Clarification follows...
Peeing MySelf
 ;D

tinjaw

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2008, 12:47:55 PM »
This one sent me off my chair PMSROFLMAO

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
very long pause….
"Java."

I admit that I haven't heard this one before. But I like it.  :P I'm going to use it... as soon as I can find somebody who would get the joke.  ;)

cranioscopical

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2008, 01:55:30 PM »
as soon as I can find somebody who would get the joke

Make a collection, throw in one about Python, and you'll have the full monty!

Edvard

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2008, 04:28:20 PM »
Make a collection, throw in one about Python, and you'll have the full monty!

*groan*

Ok, here you go...
from "If programming languages were cars"...
Quote
Python is a great beginner's car; you can drive it without a license. Unless you want to drive really fast or on really treacherous terrain, you may never need another car.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2008, 04:33:55 PM by Edvard »

ChalkTrauma

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2008, 10:42:51 PM »
This one always incites groans to any group of software engineers I tell it to ( and rightly so )


Quote
Did you know why real programmers do not know the difference between Halloween and
Christmas?

Because   Oct31 = Dec25

 ;D
'Behold! It is not over unknown seas but back over well-known years that your quest must go; back to the bright strange things of infancy and the quick sun-drenched glimpses of magic that old scenes brought to wide young eyes.'

f0dder

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2008, 07:46:16 AM »
Everybody knows that christmas is really Dec24, though :)
- carpe noctem

Deozaan

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2008, 03:01:10 PM »
Everybody knows that christmas is really Dec24, though :)

No it isn't. That's Christmas Eve. :P

I know a lot of people do all the celebrating on Dec 24, but there are some of us (probably nearly just as many) that do the celebrations on Dec 25.

Lashiec

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2008, 08:48:04 PM »
I celebrate on both days :D

Fred Nerd

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2008, 06:07:38 AM »
Check out www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

Some beauties there. Only problem is no-one else gets the joke.

Deozaan

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #11 on: May 25, 2008, 05:34:57 PM »
Check out www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

Some beauties there. Only problem is no-one else gets the joke.

This has got to be the best one I've ever heard:

Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

arunpawar

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #12 on: May 26, 2008, 05:57:08 AM »
is there any joke on C#... >:(...??? i want to poke one of my friend who hate ruby and python...let me kick him with anything related to .NET  :D

holt

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #13 on: February 01, 2017, 05:28:24 PM »
Mouse test: Run all relevant self-tests for 'laser mouse'.
If 'clean'; depress left button, and move hand describing a series of on-screen B's. Check only with the upper case letter 'B' or the test will result in an automatic 'Fail'.
Lift finger from left button.
Wait ten seconds.
Lift mouse from mouse pad, and check to see if the mouse laser left a trail of letter B's anywhere on the pad. Even partial B's matter, so use a good light source and be as thorough as possible.
If no B's are found; Congratulations; your mouse is free from Ray-B's!
"This is the best bad idea we have, sir. By far." (cf. 'Argo'.)

Josh

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #14 on: February 01, 2017, 07:21:50 PM »
When you just want to watch the world burn, commit this:

#define true (rand()!=0)
#define false (rand()==0)

antekgla

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #15 on: February 01, 2017, 08:37:45 PM »
Accurate depiction of end users

SRTFilter Automatic Subtitle Editor & Renamer

tomos

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2017, 03:36:25 AM »
^ that's me lol
(makes me a great beta tester though: if something can be done wrong, I'll do it )
Tom

panzer

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #17 on: February 02, 2017, 03:54:53 AM »
If anyone wants to know: this scene is from Gravity Falls ...:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1865718/

antekgla

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Re: Best Programming Jokes
« Reply #18 on: February 02, 2017, 05:28:07 AM »
Software Development Process

SRTFilter Automatic Subtitle Editor & Renamer