Here is how you get him back...
Top 10 reasons why Ralf Maximus hasn't been posting:
10. He is boycotting the Post cereal company for not including enough raisins in their raisin bran, and avoiding anything that says 'post' on it, including the button on the forum that submits posts.
9. He has been very busy with his new venture, DonationHaiku.
8. He's stuck in a massive Wikipedia click adventure, currently has 500 tabs open and new ones opening by the minute, and will post as soon as it ends, if it ends.
7. He discovered StumbleUpon and can't stop stumbling.
6. He will post as soon as he finishes singing 'The Song that Never Ends'.
5. He has been trying to install Linux.
4. He has been trying to install Vista.
3. He has been kidnapped by a very hungry flock of coin eating birds, and they are holding him ransom.
2. He is still waiting for The Horizon of Infinite Space
to load, and will post as soon as he plays the game.
1. (reserved for Ralf's answer)
Seriously though...I miss him too.