My all time favourite pissing contest "trumper" is from the "Crying Game" (yes, I did recoil at the key point in the movie because I HAD NO IDEA - I am assured that I am in a dim minority...).
Fergus: Have you ever tried to pick up your teeth with broken fingers?
Okay, okay so you can neither break someone's fingers nor knock out their teeth (very easily) with the laser, but c'mon - I've been waiting 15 years to use this line and I figure this is my one chance.
Ha, ha - just re-read Chris' OP and he set the "low-tech" precedent. It's all good...