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Author Topic: Clever Programmerisms  (Read 3859 times)
Ralf Maximus
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« on: October 22, 2007, 07:41:57 AM »

"Never test for a condition you do not know how to handle."
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cranioscopical
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« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2007, 08:52:19 AM »

"Nesting is fine but never forget feathering."
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Chris
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[Well, THAT escalated quickly!]

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« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2007, 09:44:11 AM »

"premature optimization is the root of all evil" - but premature pessimization can be just as bad.
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- carpe noctem
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« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2007, 11:44:13 AM »

"All problems can be solved by adding an extra layer of abstraction"
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Interviewer: Is there anything you don't like?
Bjarne Stroustrup: Marketing hype as a substitute for technical argument. Thoughtless adherence to dogma. Pride in ignorance.
Ralf Maximus
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« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2007, 01:57:49 PM »

"It was hard to write, it should be hard to test."

-- Overheard when a developer on my team was (jokingly) trying to explain why his submitted test plan was *extremely* lacking in detail.
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Grorgy
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« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2007, 02:21:38 PM »

"I don't care if it works or not, I want it on time and on budget!"

Team leader to programming and design team.
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empyrean
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« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2007, 02:49:43 PM »

This can never happen...
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empyrean
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« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2007, 02:50:56 PM »

"Give me a list of all unanticipated problems that will arise during the project."   -- Dilbert's pointy-haired boss
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app103
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« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2007, 12:51:58 AM »

Dev-C++ users will appreciate this one...

Don't forget to strip after compiling.




I once gave someone a file to a small program I wrote. When he asked me why the file size was so large, my reply was that I forgot to strip after compiling. He thought the statement was funny enough to add to our chatroom's quote collection.

There was a script that would spit back a random quote from the list when triggered. One day, that quote of mine popped up and Martin thought it was hilarious.

This is the brief convo that took place immediately following his laughter...

Quote
<app> you mean you don't strip after compiling?
</\/\artin> I do the full monty just for 0 warnings!
</\/\artin> if I stripped for no C/C++ errors, then I'd put my coat on for no VB errors

Needless to say, we ended up with another quote in the collection that day.

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Ralf Maximus
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« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2007, 08:04:44 AM »

"If contractors built buildings the way programmers write software, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization."

-- Weinberg's Law
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Ralf Maximus
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« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2007, 10:21:19 AM »

"A carelessly planned project takes three times as long to complete as expected.  A carefully planned project only takes twice as long."

-- Golub's Law
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Ralf Maximus
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« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2007, 08:54:23 AM »

"What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake!"

-- Unknown Klingon Programmer
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